Hey Britt, I'm here!" I called as I walked into her house; she was in the kitchen making some sort of feast fit for a king.
"Hey Q, Come over here!" she screams, excited to see me. I practically sprinted into the kitchen (more of a jog), slipping on milk and falling on my ass, I grabbed Britt to try and not fall but instead we wound up both losing our balance and falling. I don't even know how to describe the weird position's we fell in. I just fell on my ass and got pretty much the whole thing of pancake batter in my hair and Britt fell on one of her 10 year old sister's Barbie's. The face she made was priceless.
We looked at each other, looked at the mess we made, looked back at each other, and laughed that silent laugh that makes you look ridiculous. Just sitting on the floor, covered in pancake batter and orange juice, and every time we stopped laughing, we would look at each other and laugh again. It was honestly the happiest I've been in a really long time…
After we cleaned up, still partially laughing at random moments in time, I remembered why I came over, I was gonna tell Brittany about what happened with me and Puck. But I decided against it, I don't know why I did, probably because she'd tell Santana and we all know that her and Puck are gonna be together by next week, and then she's gonna get all mad at me.
But maybe if I tell them they'll stop calling me gay… so what, they don't need to know, it's not like they will ever find out and leave me.
"Are you ok?" Britt asked.
"Yeah, why?"
"You look like you're in deep thought."
"No, I'm just wondering if Santana's awake yet."
"Let's go see, I made breakfast in bed for her." She said getting up from the table and getting one of those tray things that you only see in the movies. She made her pancakes, bacon, those little sausage things, orange juice, and toast. For some reason unknown to man Santana never gets hangovers, she just get extremely hungry, same with Britt, they always make each other breakfast the night after one of them gets really bad.
When we got into Britt's room, Santana was dead asleep cuddling lord Tubbington, Brittany's obese cat. Britt told me to be quiet and let her sleep… so of course I listened… just kidding, I got really close to her ear and screamed "FIRE!" she jumped, hit her head on the bed post, and then fell off the bed.
I was proud, it was a proud moment. I got her back for the time she pretended we were crashing on the plane on the way to cheerleading nationals in Los Angeles.
"Joder!"
"You could speak English." I said, trying to piss her off a little bit. I didn't want to get her mad, just a little riled up.
"Go fuck yourself Fabray"
"Is that what you said, because it seemed like one word?" I asked fully curious.
"It means the F word." Britt chimed in. She doesn't like to use curse words for some reason, she says it hurts her ears, or something about dolphins getting sad and losing their fins.
"I don't get it Britt, if you don't like cursing, why are you best friends with Santana?"
"Cause, I love Santana more than I hate cursing."
"Aww, really Britt? I love you too, Bestie… it's like we're sisters."
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_Brittany's P.O.V_-_-_-_-_-_-_-
Ugh, I absolutely hate when she says that, I don't want to be sisters… I really love her, like I'm so in love with her. I know she loves me too but her love is different than mine. She doesn't want lady-babies with me… which is weird because I'm pretty sure everyone wants babies with me.
Or at least she tells me she doesn't want them with me, and I really have no reason to not trust her.
It all started when I met her in kindergarten, I was eating glue when she told me to stop, and that her dad was a doctor, and it could make my tummy hurt.
From that point on, we were inseparable. And when we found out that we wouldn't both be in Mrs. Peter's first grade class together we cried, and her dad transferred her in to my class after the first week. That was when she let us hold hands everywhere, now we're not allowed to, because it looks 'weird' that was one of the only times Santana made me cry, and I knew she didn't mean to, she was just trying to fit in.
In second grade I met her parents; she only went to my house at first cause her parents were never home, but than her mom's boss went crazy, and tried to murder the president, And wound up getting her mom's whole branch shut down. Maria was upset at first but then she realized that her husband, Manuel, was not only super-hot but an extremely wealthy and famous doctor and she could stay home and take care of Santana. I swear the Lopez parents are straight out of one of my mom's soap operas, because not only are they unrealistically attractive they're lovely people who love their only daughter. After weeks out of work Maria realized that she loved spending time with both of us, and they accepted me in as one of their own.
In 4th grade she told me we couldn't hold hands after Rachel Berry said "I'm glad our grade is so accepting of homosexuality, considering where we live." I remember Santana pushed her in to the garbage can and told her to shut up in Spanish. I actually learned how to speak Spanish by hanging out with their family for so long; it's the only class I'm passing this year… so anyway, back to the story… Santana sat down at lunch with me and I went to grab her hand like we did the year before, and she pulled her hand away, when she saw my face she could see that I was upset, she always knows when I'm upset. She said "hey Britt, please don't be sad. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings, I just don't want anyone to think we're weird… please forgive me…" when I didn't answer she hooked our pinkies together "here… we could do this… okay?"
A smile snuck on to my face, and I felt my heart flutter when she grabbed my pinky, and every time she does I get the same feeling.
In 6th grade we kissed for the first time at one of our sleepovers. We were just watching TV in my room reading magazines and doing each other's nails when "do you know how to kiss?" I asked. "Of course I know how to kiss, don't you?" she said. "Well obviously I know how to kiss, I'm not that stupid. I just don't know if I'd be good at it." Santana replied quickly saying "good point, but if you ever say you're stupid again, we can't be friends, because I'm not friends with liars and saying you're stupid would be the biggest lie ever… you're the smartest person I've ever met, and when you talk about you're self like that, it makes me sad. You're the best, you should know that."
I smiled at her and said thank you, it was quiet for about one minute, not awkwardly quiet but just enjoying each other's company quiet, until Santana spoke again "what did you mean by that thing before?" she asked. "What thing?" I said having forgot the conversation beforehand.
"About not being good at kissing, Could you be bad at it?" I didn't know it then but she would have ruined all other kisses for me forever, because her kiss will always be the best I've ever had. "Well my cousin Jessica said that her ex-boyfriend sucked at kissing, but her new boyfriend was really good at it." I replied. "Will I be bad?" she asked like I would've known the answer, and you could hear the insecurity in her voice. "I don't know." It was really quiet until Santana spoke up again "I know how we could find out." I was surprised by her voice. "How?" I asked genuinely curious
"Never mind, it's dumb." I was stunned that she doubted herself; she's always been so self-assure. "Nothing you say is dumb, S." I gave her a smile that urged her on.
"Well… we could… mrhhhfffff." She mumbled the last bit. "We could…" I said hoping she'd repeat the end of her sentence. "Never mind!" she said obviously trying not to embarrass herself. "San, why can't you just say it, you've never not been able to tell me stuff." I sounded hurt and she picked up on it. "We could like… I don't know… practice… On each other… Or something."
The moment she said it I knew what it meant, I felt week and something else I couldn't describe. It felt like a weirdly wonderful heat traveled… down there. I was actually so excited. "You, you mean like, kissing and stuff?" I asked a bit shocked, and I know I was a little kid, but also turned on. "I knew it was stupid." She said getting insecure and getting off the bed to get a magazine. "No! No, I mean, I want to." I said a little too excited. She stopped in her tracks and said "really?" I replied quickly with "yeah, it'll be fun!" I saw Santana smile and sit on the bed.
"Okay, so what do we do first?" I asked.
"Let's turn off the TV first." She got up, turned off the TV, got back on the bed and sat cross legged in front of me. I followed suit by changing my position to match hers.
"Okay, so what now, S?" I asked getting more excited.
"Um, we… we lean forward I guess." And as we both leaned forward she stopped suddenly before we could kiss and pulled away getting up and going to my dresser.
"What are you doing?" I laughed cause she looked hilarious just getting up and looking through my dresser like a maniac.
"Getting something!" she said distracted.
"What?" I asked curious. She came over to the bed and sat in the same position as before.
"these." She said holding two hair bands. Confused I asked
"What're those for?"
"To hold our hair back, duh." She stated like it made the most sense ever.
"Ok, why though?" I asked
"To be like, I don't know, neat I guess?"
I laughed loudly.
"Okay, well then… let's get started." She said clapping once at the end like you do to get things going sometimes.
"Let's just do what we see in the movies Britt, close our eyes, do this with our lips," she pursed her lips "lean in and kiss. It's that simple, right?" she said seeming more like she's convincing herself than me.
"Yeah, let's do it." I felt movie butterflies, you know, like in the movies when they explain how butterflies feel, well I felt like that seen in Little Nicky. I felt like if I fell out of my window all these butterflies in my stomach would keep me safe in the air. And I didn't even kiss her yet; we were just lingering in front of each other's mouths… until we weren't.
I made the first move by barely placing my upper lip on top of hers and waiting for her to kiss me back, she gave in to me, and leaned forward slightly, I felt her breath hitch, and we sat still with our lips attached until Santana opened her mouth slightly and when she closed her mouth I opened mine, the next go around with that, she brushed her tongue across the bottom of my lower lip, obviously wanting access in, it was granted immediately.
We got more into it, exploring each other's bodies with our hands, there was nothing so risqué about our touching, it was just skin grazing ending with Santana's hands in my hair making us be closer. It was that moment I knew I was in love with her.
The first time we went further than kissing was the summer going into 8th grade, and I say further than kissing cause it wasn't only sex like Santana say's it was it was other things too.
At the end of 7th grade going into the summer I noticed Santana started getting boobs, I mean, how could I have not noticed. We went in the pool and took showers together, naked. Now that I think about it we were always getting naked in front of each other. I started noticing that she was getting curvy and her butt was awesome, she had a perfect body, and the entire boy population started to notice.
I developed too over the summer. My boobs were also awesome, and they still are. I got the same attention from boys that she did, but I didn't take as much advantage of it.
We were in her room getting dressed and doing our makeup when her pink MOTAROLA RAZR buzzed twice.
"Could you see what that says?" she asked putting on mascara and looking in the mirror.
"Yeah." I say as I reach over and grab it.
"It says 'hey San its Puck are you coming tonight? I'm not sure if you lost my number, cause you haven't replied to me since you went dow-" she snatched the phone out of my hand and tried to play it cool.
"Whoa, calm down, what was that about?"
"Nothing."
"It obviously wasn't 'nothing' or you wouldn't have acted like that." I said a little hurt and kind of angry that she didn't want to share this with me, because we share everything always.
"Just leave it alone, Britt." She said blowing me off slightly and finishing her eye makeup.
"Why are you being like this?"
"Like what?" she said annoyed.
"Mean, you've been really mean lately, San, and I really don't like it."
"Can we not fucking talk about this right now?" she said not raising her voice to me but obviously getting frustrated.
"Then when, Santana? When could we talk cause recently you're not treating me nicely, and you told me to not take it when someone's mean and to tell you who's making me feel that way, well here I am, telling you."
"SHUT UP! I don't want to fucking talk about this! I just want to get ready! And go to this stupid fucking party! OKAY!"
"I'm leaving." I say calmly
"FINE! FUCKING LEAVE!" she yelled at me as I walked passed her and left her house.
I waited at the corner of the next block for my mom
"Hi sweetie, what happened?" my mom said looking absolutely heartbroken… and she could've said the same for me.
"Santana yelled at me." I said quietly, she could tell I was hysterical crying not long before, by my eyes and the quick short breaths I would take every once in a while, you know the ones you take after you cry so hard and you've kind of calmed down but not really…
The next time my mom asked me a question I was lying in my bed turned on my side, with her next to me rubbing circles on my back. The lamp next to my bed was turned on and I felt really little again, like the time my goldfish, Frank, died. And my mom spent the entire night by my side just rubbing my back.
"Would you like to talk now?" she asked. And when I didn't answer she spoke again.
"You know, talking things out will always make you feel better."
"It didn't today." I said scratchily because I didn't speak for a while and my voice got that way.
"Why don't you tell me what happened so I can help." She asked. I coughed to clear my throat and spoke.
"But you can't help. She doesn't like me anymore."
"Did she say that?"
"Well… no."
"Then you don't know that for sure." she said.
"I know she hates me."
"Did she say that?"
"No, but she was yelling at me an-"
"Don't you yell at Jamie?"
"Yeah, so?" I said not getting the point.
"Do you hate her?"
"No, she's my sister."
"Don't you and Santana call each other sisters?"
"Yeah."
"Then that should be enough, I know you guys are going to make up, even if it feels like you won't. Santana looks at you like you're the best thing in her life, and she wouldn't stop feeling like that overnight." When my mom said that I felt better, she put it in a way that would be easy for a 13 year old to understand; I think she's the reason I understand and know how to deal with sad people and with people in general.
At that exact moment in time my 8 year old sister came into the room and told my mom she had a bad dream, I didn't really care that my mom left to deal with her, cause at that moment in time I wanted to be alone.
I was woken from a sound sleep and 3:30 in the morning, I saw someone fall ungracefully through my window and stumble in next to me.
"Hey, Britt-Britt."
"Eww, Santana. You smell like liquor and cigarettes. What are you doing here anyway I thought we were in a fight?" I asked lazily and, having just been woken from a sound sleep, a little moody.
"I missed you, it's the first time I've ever gotten drunk without you there and it felt strange." She crawled under the covers and wrapped her arms around me. It was mid-summer and she managed to be absolutely freezing.
"Hey Britt?" she whispered.
"Yeah?" I whispered back.
"I love you." my heart fluttered in my chest.
"I love you too." I whispered, as tears left my eyes. I didn't know why I was crying, but Santana picked up on it and asked me to turn my body and face her.
"What's wrong, Britt?" she asked wiping my freely flowing tears away with her cold thumb. I smelled liquor on her breath as she whispered to me, but I didn't really care that she was drunk, because she always did things drunk that she wished she could do sober.
"I don't know." I answered honestly.
"Please don't cry, I don't like seeing you cry." We laid in silence for 5 minutes, not moving or saying anything, until I felt a cold hand graze up my thigh, and slowly ride up my shirt. Goosebumps followed wherever Santana's hand went, after a while of her hand just lying under my shirt she moved it up and lightly touched the bottom part of my breast. My breath hitched at the new sensation, she moved her hand to cup my breast and her thumb was rubbing circles on my nipple, I didn't know what to do, I was 13 years old, all I knew in that moment was I didn't want it to stop.
"Do you want me to stop?" she asked.
"no." I breathed. Santana sat up a little bit and took her shirt off, there was just enough moon coming through my window to see the curvature of her body, she was wearing a tight black dress, and now she was in nothing but her black bra and the matching thong that we went together to buy, I got instantly hot and took my oversized white T-shirt off, I wasn't wearing a bra for obvious reasons, and I don't like to sleep with underwear on.
"I'm sorry." She said
"For what?"
She answered with a kiss, it was hard and desperate and needy, like she needed to kiss me in order to live. I unhooked her bra with fumbling shaky hands and once I saw her breasts I went straight for the kill and licked her left nipple paying attention to the other one with my thumb. as I took her nipple into my mouth, I wrapped my arms around her small frame and felt goose bumps travel with my hands and a moan escape her lips, I became increasingly more confident knowing I made her make those noises. I pushed her down on my bed and stayed on top of her, I kissed down her neck and found her sweet spot on her collarbone, making her moan louder.
"Ohh god." she said shakily.
I kissed all around her breasts making sure I didn't miss a single part of them, as I made my way down her stomach and got close to her heat, I feel her twitch.
I looked her in the eye from my position in between her legs, I could smell her from where I was, and it was making me embarrassingly wet.
As I lingered in front of her thong for 5 seconds and she speaks up. "Please, take me."
I knew what she meant by that, and so I slowly lifted her lower half up and took off her thong; I had seen her naked before but it was different this time. I could 'take her' I was so close.
"Please," she was begging for it, literally.
I licked her center; it was so wet and ready for me, Santana moaned on contact and I took her clit in my mouth, I figured out what I should do down there, I practiced enough on myself to know what'd she'd like. I took my index finger and teased her entrance she moaned loudly when I inserted it in her, she bucked her hips to tell me 'more' and I listened. Adding another finger I left my place between her legs and kissed her. We rocked together as I entered and withdrew from her, I put my thumb on her clit and continued to rock until I felt her clench around my fingers she dug her nails in my back, and tried her best to suppress the mother of all moans.
We went to sleep cuddled in each other's arms, like every sleepover we've ever had.
I woke about an hour later, Santana made her way on top of me, she saw I had woken and said
"I'm sorry I woke you, but it's your turn." She seemed incredibly nervous and shaky, I hadn't seen her this un-sure of what to do since the first time we kissed, and that was almost two years ago, we've kissed a lot since then.
Santana stayed between my legs and started kissing my neck; I could tell she sobered up by her shyness and quietness, and her amount of concentration, I was still so unbelievably wet, it was actually getting uncomfortable "San, please just fuck me."
She looked shocked, probably because I never curse, or because I was so strait forward with what I wanted.
She stayed in between my legs and thrust two fingers into me I felt like I could cum just from that alone, she obviously took some tips from me and put her thumb on my clit she got through two more thrusts until I came… hard.
After she pulled her fingers out of me, she licked them clean. It was literally the sexiest thing I have ever seen.
We both woke up around nine in the morning, just tangled up in each other. I couldn't believe that I had sex. We didn't even know what we we're doing, but it came so naturally for us.
I just didn't want things to be awkward when we woke up. Santana has always second guessed herself, like whenever she tells someone a secret, she feels guilty afterwards, and shuts off and ignores people… especially me.
But to my surprise, it wasn't awkward at all. We got up like we always did, watched Tom & Jerry, a tradition since our first sleepover, and ate my mom's pancakes. It was all the same… and yet completely different. We sat closer; always had our pinkies linked, and were always touching one another, we literally were with each other every day.
We never brought it up, we were only 13, not really the age to do this type of stuff, but if we never did stuff like drink, and smoke cigarettes, and a lot of pot in the summer going into 9th grade, we still would've had sex eventually. Maybe at a more appropriate age, under better circumstances, But there is no doubt in my mind; we would have sex either way.
"Hey Chica's." my mom said with no pronunciation as she walked down the stairs.
"Hey mom, Santana's here. She came over last night and apologized." I said with a dopey, love struck smile.
"I know, I heard her fall through your window. And you two little devils stayed up quite late."
I thought we were caught, for sure. But my mom speaks again.
"Just turn the TV lower next time, Okay girls?" she was standing next to the coffee machine. "And stay off your father's channels. I used to snoop through my dad's magazines with my friends too, you know. I get that you're curious; it's that age where you start to think about these things more, but be careful and safe, when you start to… 'talk' to boys, ok." Santana's face has never been that red, we've watched my dad's 'special' channels before. But the volume was completely off when we did, because we didn't want to get caught.
"Okay." I said. My mom is a sex therapist, so she always talked about this stuff with me. Santana's mom was never really comfortable talking about that stuff. But her dad on the other hand, wanted her to be prepared for what he knew was going to happen one day, so he gave her 'the talk' once in passing.
I knew why she was embarrassed in front of my mom, because even though my mom wouldn't have cared at all if Santana was with another girl, Santana cared. And it never bothered me until this year.
