Kirsten sat on her bed, lost in thought as she watched the sun set outside her window. She was happy that Sandy was coming tomorrow but she couldn't help but feel nervous. They hadn't really spoken all that much and she knew she had said some pretty hurtful things to him. A knock on the open door startled her.
"Hey. I'm Molly your next door neighbour. I haven't really had the chance to say hi so just thought I'd stop by." Kirsten got up.
"Hi I'm Kirsten, come on in." Molly came in and sat down on a chair by the bed while Kirsten sat near to her on the bed. "How long have you been here for?"
"Too long." They both laughed. "Just coming up to two months, I'm hoping not much longer but there has been no mention of going home yet. I know you only got here a few days ago, how are you settling in? First few days are as hard as hell as I know."
"Yeah it's definitely been the hardest few days I've ever gone through but I guess I've got through them now. I just wish it had never got to this." Kirsten was surprised at her own honesty with a woman she had just met.
"I think that is a common wish with every person in here, well every person in here who wants to get better and get out of here."
"Isn't that everyone?" Kirsten found it extremely hard to believe that anyone would not want to recover and get out of this place and go back home.
"Well some people have nowhere to go, no-one to go back to so staying here and or being drunk doesn't seem like a bad option to them. Once you've been here for a while leaving does become harder, you get used to it and there's no temptation here but you know as soon as you leave the front door there are going to be temptations everywhere. I want to get out but at the same time I'm worried about what happens when I do and the longer I'm here the less desperate I am to leave. Once you get out you're on your own you don't have the support you get in here."
"But surely being with your family, being in your own home, is the best support?" Kirsten just couldn't accept that people would rather be here than at home with their family and Molly had a wedding ring so at the very least she had a husband to go home too.
"For me personally I don't think I can rely on my family for support when I get out. The only person that has visited me while I've been here is my mom and I think she just comes because she feels obliged." Kirsten was shocked, she was married but her husband hadn't been in to see her for over two months. She couldn't imagine not seeing Sandy for that long. "My husband won't let her bring my kids in so I can't see them and whenever I ask about my dad she says he's busy working."
Kirsten didn't know what to say, she had only known the woman for a few minutes yet here they were talking like they knew each other. To some extent she guessed they did, they both had one big problem in common and they were dealing with it at the same time. Well Molly was ahead of Kirsten but not by much.
"I hope you don't mind me asking but why doesn't your husband come and see you?"
"No it's fine you'll learn soon enough that if you want to really get your head sorted in here then you have to open up to people and in the group sessions everyone eventually finds out anyway." She laughed and Kirsten smiled at her a bit nervous at the thought of having to share private thoughts and feelings with lots of people and people who she didn't know. "It's my own fault really; I blamed him for my drinking, refused to accept help from him or anyone actually, refused to come to here until he literally gave me no choice and then when I did come here I didn't speak to him for the first week or so. It was then that I realised what I done. Even in here it still took me ten days to realise how big my problem was."
There was silence for a few minutes both women lost in thought until Kirsten found her voice again.
"I don't know what to say." Molly smiled at her. "I'm sure it's not all your fault and you are here now trying to fix things so I'm sure that counts for something."
"I'm not so sure, I've spoken to him on the phone and he thinks its best for me to just concentrate on getting myself better before we start addressing the problems in out marriage. So that's something to look forward to when I get out!" She laughed again and Kirsten couldn't believe just how strong this woman was. "So enough about me, tell me about you. Are you married? Got any kids?"
"Yes I'm married and yes I have two sons." Pointing to the picture frame on the bedside table, with all four of the Cohen's at Christmukkah, behind Molly Kirsten carried on "They are my life, I guess I didn't realise how much so until I came in here." Molly picked the picture up and had a good look.
"Your husband is quite the looker." Kirsten laughed and nodded her head. "At least each of your sons looks like both of you, I have three and they all look more like their dad than me." Kirsten was going to tell her Ryan wasn't biologically theirs but decided not to, it wasn't like it was important to them and he was theirs in every other way. "How do they feel about you being here?" Normally Kirsten wouldn't like someone she barely knew asking private questions but this wasn't a normal situation and when it was Molly asking she didn't mind at all.
"They made me come, staged an intervention and told me I needed to get help. At first I couldn't believe they wanted me to go away but the past three days have given me plenty of thinking time and I realise they had no choice. That I gave them no choice. I barely know what's going on in their lives anymore because I got so caught up in my own problems and drinking. I've hardly spoken to my husband for weeks, not properly anyway and when I have spoken to him I've said some pretty horrible things especially recently. The good thing is though he's coming tomorrow, the bad thing is I don't know what I'm going to say to him." Silence descended upon them once again but like the others it was comfortable.
"I 'm sure you'll know what to say when you see him. You should just focus on the fact that he's coming, he wants to see you, help you."
"Unless he's coming to tell me he wants a divorce." Kirsten laughed at herself; she knew she was worried deep down that when he came it would just be to tell her he couldn't cope with an alcoholic for a wife. He had eased some of her worries on the phone but she wouldn't be completely at ease until she saw him tomorrow. Only then would she know for sure just how strong their marriage was.
"I'm sure that's not the case. I think for now we should put our problems to the back of our minds and have some fun, well as much as you can have in here. What do you say?" Kirsten liked the sound of this.
"What did you have in mind?"
"Some card games maybe, some of us play a few games a couple nights a week it's a good way to forget things for a while and make or lose some money." She laughed and got up.
"Sounds fun. I'm in."
When Kirsten woke up the next day she felt nervous and excited not unlike during the first few weeks of their relationship when she was excited at the prospect of seeing him but still nervous about the relationship. By the time it got to five she was starting to feel disappointment as well since she was now thinking that maybe he wasn't coming. Visiting hours were between two and nine and she had thought and hoped that he would be here at two on the dot but he wasn't. She was definitely more nervous now too, she didn't think it was good if he could wait this long to see her. The phone ringing brought her back to reality.
"Hello."
"Hi Kirsten, its Sue from reception. Your husband is he do you want him to come up to your room or do you want to met him down here?" Kirsten hadn't thought that they would call to say he was here maybe they just wanted to make sure she wanted a visitor.
"Erm he can come on up. Thanks." Suddenly she started feeling more excited again and rather than wait for him to get to her room she decided she would meet him on the way. There was only one way to her room so it wasn't like she could miss him. She had to stop herself from running, it seemed mad it had only been four days since she saw him but it felt like a lifetime. When she reached the second set of stairs she saw him approaching them. He didn't see her at first and she just stood there waiting for him to look up. When he did her heart melt at the smile she saw on his face. He ran up the steps so he was next to her.
"Hey." He didn't need to say anything else before she was in his arms. "I've missed you." He whispered in her ear. She couldn't speak; she didn't want to take her head out of his neck she just wanted to stay in his arms. He, however, took her head in his hands and kissed her lips. He leant his forehead against hers and wiped the few tears with his thumb. "So you want to give me a tour of the grounds or what?" Kirsten smiled at him, took his hand and led him down the stairs. She didn't care where they went, the fact he was here was all that mattered.
