"Where did everyone go?" Nonon griped as she moved through the hallways. "This is boring. And way too quiet..."

She missed her entourage. She missed her music. She had no trumpets, no drums, not even a goddamn mp3 player. All she did have was deathly silence, empty classrooms, and the sound of her own voice. It was unbearable.

"Seriously, where the hell are all the students?! They were whole flocks of them hanging out the windows just a few minutes ago!" Nonon yelled at nothing in particular.

"Ooh! Ooh! I know! I know!"

The pink haired girl turned around to see what appeared to be an elementary school girl in a yellow dress, twirling happily in circles as she spun towards the oftentimes caustic conductor.

Weird, but not enough so for Nonon to really bother questioning it. That wasn't what she was here for.

"Yeah? Where are they then, squirt?" she grumpily asked as the kid stopped spinning directly in front of her, and in exchange began to totter on her feet.

The little girl's cheeks puffed out, though she still wasn't able to stand up straight. "I'm not a squirt! I'm as tall as you are!"

Nonon grimaced. Unfortunately, the grade schooler was right. Her growth spurt was taking forever to get here.

"Shut up, brat. Do you know where everyone is, or not? I wanna get this over with."

"...Will you give me some ice cream if I tell you?" the child asked cutely, finally having recovered from her self induced spell of dizziness.

"No. I'm not going to give you ice cream. Why would I give you anything?" Nonon replied flatly, getting rather annoyed. Why was this kid even here?

Said kid crossed her arms and frowned, probably in an attempt to look intimidating. "Hmmph! I'll have you know I am a teacher! And I want ice cream!"

"Right. Like I care." Unless this school was truly so stupid as to hire a little kid for their staff, Nonon found it unlikely that she was telling the truth about the first part, and saw no reason to humor her.

The cheeks of the girl in the yellow dress puffed up again, this time to a near comical extent. "Even if you are from another school, students who do not treat teachers with respect are delinquents!" she whined, fishing out what looked to be a fifty yen piece from somewhere on her person.

"Whatever brat, if you aren't gonna help me then get lost. Go buy your own damn ice cream." Nonon said before starting to walk off.

"HAPPOGOJUEN-"

A nearby part of the wall exploded, cutting off a yell of something unintelligible from the annoying little girl. The Non-Athletic Committee Chair was momentarily surprised, and turned back around to see what had caused the sudden small scale demolition.

Through the newly created "door" stepped a girl with long, purplish-blue hair wearing some sort of Chinese minidress, a look of intent determination on her face. In one hand she held what appeared to be a platter of food, and in the other, what looked to the resident conductor like a giant beach ball on the end of a stick.

Looking around, the new arrival quickly spotted the girl Nonon had just been talking too.

"You! You is Small Teacher, yes? Why students not in room? Shampoo need give Ranma her special lunch before it get cold!" she asked, gesturing with the beach ball stick.

Nonon continued to watch the proceedings with mild interest as the little girl, who apparently really WAS a teacher if the stacked new girl had any clue what she was talking about, simply continued to hold up her piece of coinage for some reason. "Students who destroy school property are also delinquents! You must be punished as well!"

The Chinese clothed girl smiled innocently. "But Shampoo not student, so is okay, yes? Now where-"

"HAPPOGOJUENSATSU!"


Satsuki frowned. As she had suspected would be the case, Gamagori was making almost no headway in taking on the two clashing martial artists, who seemed to be treating him more as an obstacle and/or springboard than an actual opponent. At current they were literally dueling on his shoulders, using him as some sort of makeshift platform despite all attempts by the massive man to throw them off.

She'd already seen enough to gauge the pair's skill levels, and this was quickly becoming a farce. It was time to intervene.

"Gamagori!" Satsuki barked as she jumped from the wall, landing in a crouch before quickly rising to a more dignified looking position and beginning to walk towards her subordinate.

The Disciplinary Committee Chair instantly ceased all attempts to shake the fighting pair of teens off of his shoulders and stood at attention to receive new orders, which made for a rather ridiculous sight, as the pair on top of him did not appear to be planning on stopping any time soon.

"That is enough. I will fight the one in red. You shall face the other." Satsuki instructed. "Now, stand firm!"

"Yes, Lady Satsuki!" Gamagori bellowed, saluting before crossing his arms and setting his stance in a way that dug his heels deep into the ground. At the same time, Satsuki closed her eyes and refined her inner focus even further than usual...

And a moment later, she released it.

"HAAAAUUUU!"

A wave of concentrated chi swept over the area in front of Satsuki, blowing the two fighters off the Disciplinary Chair's shoulders while he himself tried not to be swept away. The yellow one smacked into a tree, somehow managing to knock it over in the process before dropping out of sight, while the red one hit the side of the school building feet first and rebounded off of it, landing in a crouch back on the ground. Satsuki strode toward the latter, emitting a nigh-on-tangible force of will that would likely have been capable of knocking aside a battleship.

He had best not disappoint her.


"Geez, what was that...?" Ranma muttered as he stood up and dusted himself off. He had been fighting Ryoga, and then the girl who had been standing on the wall had-

"You seem not to understand the gravity of your situation."

Ranma looked up to see the woman who had just attacked him imperiously walking in his direction, stopping a few yards away and staring the pigtailed boy down in a rather distinct manner- a manner that seemed to indicate she viewed him with about the same amount of respect one would usually reserve for the remains of a particularly repulsive bug they had found on the bottom of their shoe.

Ranma quickly analyzed the long haired girl he now faced. Whether he liked it or not, this was probably going to lead to a fight for some reason- it wasn't hard to tell given the way she was looking at him- so he needed to be prepared. Although the energy she was giving off hadn't manifested into any sort of battle aura yet, he could tell it was potent all the same, and it felt like it was based entirely on sheer willpower. That alone was cause enough for concern.

"Hey, come on, I thought you were lookin' for Ryoga. Whatever you want, it ain't got nothin' to do with me."

Ranma thought he saw a flicker of confusion flash across the older teen's face at his words before it hardened once again.

"Your friend is being dealt with as we speak." the woman (whose name Ranma hadn't caught) spoke to him, still in that imperial, militaristic tone. "And you must be dealt with as well."

She raised the sheath at her side, opening it just the slightest fraction to reveal a shining glint of black steel. "Now we shall see if in the wake of a hurricane, you fight and persist to its end, or crumble to dust like a leaf in its tempest."

Ranma still wanted no part of this, no matter the fact that she had basically just challenged him. "Look lady, I really ain't got any interest in fighting-"

"Your opinion means nothing to me." the black haired woman cut in, allowing him no chance to protest. "Nor does your choice. If you do not fight with all the strength of the animal, backed into a corner by its deadliest predator..."

Suddenly her blade was no longer covered. Ranma had barely been able to track its movements- to unsheathe it, she had swung it in a horizontal arc-

The gender cursed martial artist dived frantically to the ground as an enormous wave of pressure blasted the entire north side of the school's lowest floor, sending chunks of plaster and window glass flying in every direction.

"...then you shall fall, JUST AS ALL COWARDS DO!"

All of a sudden the woman was standing directly above Ranma's splayed out body, her sword raised above her head and a glare on her face that would have brought lesser humans to their knees on the spot. She could have impaled him then and there had Ranma not quickly flipped off the ground and back handsprung away, putting some much needed distance between himself and the all-too-clearly dangerous girl.

Ranma sighed in relief at escaping the close call as the girl resheathed her sword, still continuing to glare at him intently. She did not move, appearing to be waiting for him to do something- which was a pretty stupid move in Ranma's opinion, but he was happy for the moment to collect his thoughts all the same.

'Don't look like I'm gonna be able to get out of this one... an' in that case...'

...okay, he could do this. Sure she'd just done... that, and the raw will she was exuding was certainly nothing to sneeze at, but he'd beaten Herb, Saffron, and countless others in the past. There was no way this girl could be the worst thing he'd faced thus far.

"Fine, guess you ain't givin' me much choice." the pigtailed boy called out, resignation quickly turning to determination as he moved into a fighting stance. "May as well make it official then. I'm Saotome Ranma of the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts- and I accept your challenge."

The girl smiled thinly as her brow narrowed, focusing fully in on him.

And then abruptly, she blasted out of her position, rushing forth with all the force and speed of a meteor impact.

"Then prove to me your worth, Saotome Ranma!" she cried out as the boy in question moved to meet her charge...


"YAYAYAYAYAYAYA!"

"MEN!DOU!KOTE!MEN!DOU!KOTE!"

The swords of the two kendo captains flashed out at speeds too fast for the eye- or rather, most eyes, to follow. A quick exchange ended with Kuno being smacked multiple times in two of the three areas and staggering back, yet keeping his grip on his sword and looking little worse for wear. Sanageyama had not yet taken any hits (and found it unlikely he was going too), but was getting rather tired all the same.

The three star student was pleasantly surprised by the other teen's skill. He'd honestly sort of expected the kendoist to be mostly bravado, but it turned out Kuno did in fact have some bite to his bark. He was nearly as fast with his bokken as Sanageyama himself, which in and of itself wouldn't have been anything particularly special- however, his sword appeared to be able to to send waves of cutting pressure from its tip, something like what Lady Satsuki herself could do, but on a much smaller scale. Still, although small, the speed at which Kuno was able to send the waves out made them downright deadly, and he had destroyed several trees in the clearing already. This had been forcing the Athletic Committee Chair to parry often while dodging as widely as possible, giving him less time to attack and allowing Kuno a lot of breathing room.

The pair clashed again, and this time Sanageyama only managed to smash Kuno on the chin and body once each before being forced away by another whirlwind barrage of strikes.

If the self proclaimed "All Seeing Sword" had to pick out one key thing he found wrong with the other boy's style, it was that he made no moves to dodge any attack he could not parry. But to be fair, he didn't seem to need to. Although he was quite easy to hit, Kuno had not yet dropped from any of the head, body, or wrist strikes Sanageyama had landed, and he had landed a lot. Granted, he was holding back, but his shinai had actually tremored as if about to break the first time he had landed an overhand strike on Kuno's skull- it was as if his head was simply exceptionally hard for some reason. Sanageyama had since changed to using thrusts to the temples.

The Athletic Committee Chair ran right as another storm of pressure waves pelted the area he had just been in, jumping and bounding off a tree to strike Kuno three times in succession once more before parrying his opponent's blade and moving back.

Activating his Blade Regalia was an option, but Sanageyama was pretty sure this didn't qualify as being severe enough of a situation to really warrant its use. In fact, the situation itself held very little actual danger- Sanageyama himself probably didn't need to dodge if he didn't want too, as even his untransformed uniform would be able to protect him from near anything Kuno could dish out. But being hit at all would practically be a defeat in and of itself- if his Tengantsu wasn't reliable enough to use on a student who wasn't even using a Goku Uniform, he may as well go and ask Lady Satsuki to strip him of his uniform and rank on the spot.

The next trade of blows ended with Kuno being struck in the forehead six consecutive times, yet still not going down. Sanageyama began to wonder if he was holding himself in check a little TOO much. Should he be using his full force on someone not even wearing a Goku Uniform?

...probably not. Oh well. If he wanted to let Kuno showcase any of his skills, Sanageyama needed to keep him on his feet for a while longer anyways, lest he knock the other boy unconscious and have Lady Satsuki think he'd forgotten the entire point of this mission. So the current arrangement worked out just fine- it wasn't like he wouldn't still win in the end. He wouldn't let another kendoist show him up just because he was fighting with a self-imposed handicap after all.

The two swordsmen tensed for another exchange, and closed in to attack-

"ALOOOOOOOOO-HAAAAAA!"

Both fighters were forced to suddenly cut off their attacks as a dark skinned man, wearing Hawaiian tourist clothing and with what seemed to be a miniature palm tree growing out of his head, crashed from above directly into the middle of their duel.

"Eyyyy, Little Tatchi, why you not in de classroom right now?" the bizarrely dressed man asked, turning towards Kuno while strumming a ukelele.


Gosunkugi walked, zombielike, through the halls of Furinkan.

He had been left behind. Of course he had. So concerned were they at leaving that no one would even explain what was going on when he came back from the bathroom. Heck, they probably hadn't even noticed him.

But then, when was that ever NOT the case...?

The pale boy sighed to himself. Why oh why had he not just followed the flow of the crowd? Now everyone was gone, and he had no idea how to find them.

After wandering around the school for a while, the gaunt boy at last heard some noise coming from a classroom. He peered in through the cracked door- from what he could see, it appeared Nabiki Tendo had set up some sort of gambling ring based around... something that was going on outside the window, apparently.

Thank goodness, at least now he could ask-

Sounds of fighting reached Gosunkugi's ears from around the corner to the next hallway. There was a crash, and the sound of a male voice saying something he couldn't quite make out from this distance.

Being the frail stick of a person that he was, Gosunkugi would normally have never even considered walking towards a fight. He tended towards the "If it can't see you, it can't hurt you," philosophy, which was quite easy to accomplish for someone as unnoticeable as him so long as he didn't walk directly into something. And so, he wisely did his best to ignore the noise, and began to open the door to ask where the rest of the students had gone.

"STAND STILL ALREADY!"

...one of the sole exceptions to this motto was when one of the fighters happened to be his one true love, Tendo Akane.

Having heard that last bit loud and clear, Gosunkugi sprinted as fast as his noodly legs could carry him to the end of the hall, before slowly, carefully, stealthily poking his head around the corner.

A boy wearing an extremely strange white uniform, with what looked to be blue cables coming out of the wrists and neck, was fighting Akane in the middle of the hall. The Tendo girl appeared to be getting quite frustrated, probably because although the walls and floor had several craters in them, her opponent did not appear to be damaged in the slightest.

For some reason, there was also a laptop computer sitting on the floor near Gosunkugi's spying spot, proudly touting how out of place it was in the virtually untouched section of the hallway.

"Hmm. Is this truly all you are capable of?" the male of the pair inquired from behind his extremely tall collar, avoiding another straightforward punch from his equally straightforward opponent.

"Not even close! I'm just getting warmed- ERK-!"

The lighter blue haired teen had landed a knife hand in Akane's solar plexus, knocking the wind out of her lungs and driving her stumbling back, coughing, into one of the empty classrooms.

"I didn't even need to analyze you. Your attacks are so predictable that it was nothing but a waste of computer power." he said, sounding simultaneously disappointed and annoyed. "A shame, but this appears to have been a pointless use of my time. I overestimated you."

The oddly dressed teen began to stroll in no great hurry towards the laptop, while a trembling Gosunkugi whipped his head back around the corner so as not to be seen and tried to not start hyperventilating.

'Oh no, I can't hide here! He's going to see me!'

"*Cough*... I'm not done yet..."

The sound of footsteps stopped and reversed direction, prompting the hidden boy to peek his head out by just a fraction once more. Akane stood in the doorway she had just recently fallen back through, breathing heavily but still quite willing to fight.

"I'll grant that you have stamina, but nothing you've shown me thus far, nor that I was able to analyze earlier, indicates that continuing would be a worthwhile use of my time." the blue haired boy stated, cold logic and a sense of utter boredom in his tone. "I need data on opponents who are actually worth fighting, I'm afraid."

"Oh, SHUT UP! " Akane shouted, an angry red battle aura beginning to boil around her. "I'LL SHOW YOU WHO'S NOT WORTH FIGHTING!"

"Hmm, that's unexpected." the boy murmured, putting his hand to where his chin (were it not covered by six inches of fabric) would normally be and examining the bubbling red energy that now surrounded the girl. "Very well then. Show me something I could not have forseen."

The battle was joined once more, but despite the impressive battle aura engulfing Akane's figure, she still could not seem to hit her wiry opponent. Each time she attacked he would dodge away, right before striking her in one or two extremely disabling spots.

'If this keeps up, Akane is going to lose!' Gosunkugi thought frantically to himself as he pressed his body even closer against the wall. 'I have to do something to help her!'

Now, any rational person of Gosunkugi's short stature, rail thin body, and complete lack of strength in virtually every possible regard would go get someone who they thought might actually be able to fight Inumuta- say, Ukyo. Perhaps he could have found and brought her back in time to keep the former computer hacker from at least completely beating the stuffing out of Akane, and even if the short tempered girl surely would have been angry that she'd been saved by a rival, Gosunkugi could have been proud of the fact that he had at least saved his goddess from her vicious attacker; that he had helped in some small way.

But this was Nerima, a ward not exactly known for its resident's heaping amounts of rationality. In fact, the area barely had a shred of it to go around.

And so, instead of doing any of that, the aspirant Vodouist whipped some candles out of absolutely nowhere, and began tying them to his head...


It was a less than average day at Furinkan High.

"Hey, this new chick is pretty good, dontcha think?"

"Yeah, but Ranma's probably not fighting her at full strength since she's a girl, so I don't think we can say for sure who's going to win yet... unless you meant..."

"Her looks? Ohhh yeah, she is hot. But then, when have Saotome's fiancees ever NOT been hot?"

"Kodachi. Nice body, but her personality..."

"I thought she was only a self-proclaimed one?"

"Yeah, she is. Forget that though, we're talking about this Kiryuin girl."

"Did anyone else notice her eyebrows though? I can see them from here..."

This conversation was coming from a group of boys (including both Daisuke and Hiroshi) who were watching the fighting going on below with ever-increasing interest. The majority of the students were currently on the roof of the building, having been shepherded to safer ground by those faculty that actually had some small speck of sense. Most of the staff (barring the principal) had recently agreed on a general rule to follow during the school's all too frequent emergencies- either you get yourself and your students to higher ground so you don't get caught in the crossfire, or you join in (an addendum that applied essentially only to Hinako). Thus, the only students still present in the building proper were the ones who had headed to Nabiki's classroom to play the gambling corner, and those who had drifted down a floor when the roof became too packed to comfortably accommodate them.

Many of the students who had remained on the roof were huddled near the north side of it, straining to get a better look through the fences at the action going on below. And naturally, just because the resident mercenary wasn't on the roof with them didn't mean there wasn't gambling going on.

"Hey, bet you 500 yen that the new fiancee wins."

"Sure. Same amount on the humongous guy beating Ryoga."

"Sounds good."

Ukyo, who was sitting close to the group (judging by their comments, they seemed to have forgotten she was there), decided to take it up a notch.

"10000 yen on Ranma."

The group collectively started at that.

"Woah, Ukyo, upping the ante a bit much there aren't ya?" asked Daisuke.

"No- Ranchan is never going to lose to that girl. And she's NOT a new fiancee!" Ukyo retorted.

Her grip absently slid to the enormous spatula strapped to her back and tightened around its familiar metallic shaft. 'At least, she'd better not be...'

Aside from Ukyo, who slightly broke the pattern, the miniature conclaves that had formed were shockingly well organized. The boys interested in watching had taken one corner of the roof, while the girls who were similarly interested had claimed the other. Those who were uninterested in the fighting were either talking, eating, or catching up on homework in the back, while the faculty had taken to this opportunity as a well deserved break, and were either watching with the students or trying to relax, hoping the fight wouldn't somehow stray up here and that the construction workers would be able to fix the first floor windows by the end of today. Someone had broken out a water cooler filled with ice cold drinks- why they had that with them at school was anyone's guess- and was selling them for 150 yen a pop.

Really, the entire affair was like Furinkan's version of a sports event.

One of the watching girls suddenly let out a squeal.

"Hey, is that Kuno fighting the hot guy with the green hair?!"

"Really? Move over!"

"Don't PUSH! We're on a roof!"

"But there are fences!"

"I can't see, the trees are in the way..."

"Awww, did we miss it?"

"No, I think they just stopped because- hey, that's Principal Kuno!"

"I'll bet you 1000 yen that the hot guy beats both of them!"

"You're on!"

...it was a perfectly average day at Furinkan High.


AN: Yep, it's a Ranma romp, and that means characters practically dropping out of the freaking SKY just to make things more difficult on everyone involved. Or make things just plain silly. That too.

It took a while to get Satsuki's dialogue just right- tell me how I did on that please, if you care to review. :)