Set during Cops & Robbers
Kate's chest constricts the moment the bomb goes off. Her breathing shallows, heart races, and oh, god, she's going to have a panic attack. She can't. Not now. Not when Rick, her partner, the man she loves, is in the bank that just blew.
She pushes through the panic, making her way off of the bus and finds herself face to face with the ruins of the building in front of her.
She can't breathe.
Her surroundings begin to blur as the sound of the explosion repeats in her ears. She finds herself stumbling into the bank, following the professionals into something she probably doesn't have the clearance for.
But it's Castle in there, his mother, too, and she needs to get to them, to find them alive.
She calls his name, her voice desperate and hoarse even to her own ears. His name is a mantra on her lips, one that goes unanswered until she hears the faint call of her name, hears his voice and oh, she better not be imagining this.
The SWAT team follows after her as she finds herself taking the lead, running towards his voice, towards him, and the moment she sees him alive and well she finds herself able to breathe once again.
It's hours later when they find themselves on their way to the loft, everyone alive and well.
She didn't hesitate when he invited her over for a family dinner, not in the slightest, and as she's sitting in the driver's seat with Castle beside her she's thinking maybe she should have.
But he almost died today and things have been going well between them since she came back, since she told him about her summer, so she's allowing it. Allowing herself this taste of what the future could hold for them.
They barely talk on the drive over, but it's been a long day and she knows that they will be surrounded by noise and voices as soon as they step into the loft.
She parks a few blocks away, and as they walk the short distance to the loft, she finds herself orienting closer to him than she would normally allow. They aren't quite touching, but they're close enough that if she were to shift over an inch or so, her body would be flush with his.
They've been touching more recently. Since she kissed him.
Nothing big - the brushing of arms, a hand on his elbow as they're talking, standing just close enough that their shoulders would touch. But it's more than she had allowed in the past.
They still haven't talked about it, although it's not like she really thought they would.
He hasn't pushed her since that day a month and a half ago, hasn't asked her for anything more, and she hasn't offered.
They've been comfortable, normal, and it's felt nice. Safe.
Today scared her, though, and she's not sure if that's enough anymore.
They need to talk, she's sure of that. After dinner, perhaps, when Martha and Alexis are asleep in bed, when there's nothing stopping her from saying what she needs to, from telling him how she feels.
She'll hold off for now, though. She'll sit through dinner with his family, stay just a little bit closer to him than usual, and then they'll talk about all the things that they need to.
She shifts closer to him as they approach his building, closing the little distance between them as she links her index finger with his and gives him a small smile before looking down, allowing her hair to cover the unexpected flush of her cheeks.
He doesn't comment, simply links his hand fully with hers, allowing their palms to meet, as he leads them up the stairs to his building.
She hears the noise emanating from the loft before she enters; hears the chatter of Alexis and Martha, the spoons clinking against the sides of metal pots, music playing softly, and she swears if she didn't know any better she'd think that there was a party taking place inside.
Rick unlocks the door, holding it open for her as he guides her inside with his hand at her back and she's immediately taken into the older woman's arms. She feels more than hears the whispered thanks being pressed into her hair as Martha's arms pull her in close.
Her partner's mother brings her into the kitchen, pouring her a glass of red, as Rick goes off to talk to his daughter.
"Thank you, again," Martha whispers, as she hands Kate the wine. "I really can't thank you enough for everything you did today, Katherine."
"I -" She pauses. "Of course, Martha."
"Alexis told me what you said to her today," the older woman states as she places her free hand on Kate's forearm. "She really does look up to you. She may not always show it… but she does."
She doesn't know what to say. After this summer, things had been… off between her and Alexis. She understood, she did. She had hurt her father, had put his life in danger one too many times. So she's surprised to hear that the girl looks up to her still, even after recent events.
Kate opens her mouth to reply, hoping something will come out, before Martha stops her.
"Richard does too, you know."
"I'm sorry?" she splutters.
"He looks up to you, admires you… maybe not in the same way, but he does."
She flushes at that, tears her eyes away from Martha's, instead focusing on the wine in her glass.
"I admire him, too," she murmurs, so quietly that it's barely heard. The woman hears anyway, and gives her a soft smile, squeezing her arm before letting go, turning in the direction of her son and granddaughter.
"I know you do," Martha replies. "I think he does, too."
Dinner is lovely.
The conversation flows more easily than Kate had anticipated. Stories are shared over the table, the air full of laughter and joy, and it's such a juxtaposition from the day's earlier events that they almost slip her mind.
Almost.
The thoughts still linger, though. The close call, the loud shot of the gun, the sound of the explosion, all repeating themselves in her mind.
It's half-past ten when Martha and Alexis excuse themselves, probably only half-lying when they say that it's been a long day and that they need to go to sleep.
Her and Castle sit together in silence for a few moments, glasses of wine in hand, perched on opposite ends of the couch.
She sees him watching her in her peripheral as she stares down at her wine, trying to decide what she needs to say to him. He's trying to get a read on her she assumes, but he won't. Not when she can't really get a read on herself.
"Thank you. For today and..." he says, breaking the silence that had fallen between them. He reaches across the short distance between them, tangles his free hand with hers. She lets him. "For everything else."
Kate's eyes leave their place on her glass, meet his instead and she gives him a small smile, squeezes the fingers intertwined with her own.
"You scared me today, Rick," she admits, her voice quiet, the use of his first name not beyond her. "I -" she sighs. "I wasn't sure we'd make it out this time."
"Hey," he murmurs, his thumb circling the bone of her wrist. "You can't get rid of me that easily."
"Castle," she admonishes, but it does earn him a small smile.
"Come here," he murmurs, giving her hand a light tug, but she hesitates, takes a sip of wine, instead. "Beckett, come on."
She nods, and he plucks the glass of wine from her hand, before placing it, along with his own, on the coffee table in front of them, saving them from a potential spill. He then pulls her into his side, wrapping his arm around her shoulder, the other around her waist. She curls into him, places her head against his chest, her hands fisted in his shirt as if that's all that's keeping him here with her.
"I can't lose you, Rick," she whispers, allows the tears she's been holding back all night to finally spill over. "I can't."
"You won't," he murmurs into her hair. He presses a kiss to the top of her head. "I'm here."
She sighs, sinks further into him, and just lets him hold her.
They need to talk still, and they will, she's sure of it, but for now, maybe this is enough.
