January 1, 1901
My mommy and daddy had fought a lot on Christmas and that made mommy leave me. She promised me that she would come back for me, when I was older. Daddy had gotten mad at me. I didn't know why, but he spanked me really hard. So hard that it had left a bruise on my arse. Daddy didn't like that I had cried so he took the whicker rod that he had shown mommy a lot and hit me with it. It hurt a lot, but I didn't cry. "I'm sorry princess." he said, hugging me. "Daddy just got carried away. It'll never happen again."
I believed him because he was my daddy. He always kept his word. "I'm sorry for being bad daddy." I said, hugging him back.
"It's alright princess. Everyone makes mistakes." I ran up to my room and put away all of my things. Daddy said we were moving in a week.
I ran downstairs and saw daddy and his friends drinking a mysterious brown liquid from the crystal bottles. When daddy had that drink the fighting became ten times worse than what happened at the party. "Get back to your room!" he yelled once he saw me. I had been hiding on the stairs. I ran back up them and curled in my bed. I was a-scared of daddy's friends. They were big and mean. I read the school book that he had bought for me. I was supposed to start school at our new home. "You know you're not allowed downstairs when my friends are over." he said as he walked into the room. He had the wicker rod in his hand.
"Daddy, you said that you wouldn't use the rod again…"he was at my bedside and turned me onto my stomach. He whipped my back until I could feel it against my skin. He had torn my night dress with it and continued whipping me. I started crying and when he saw that he took off his belt and whipped me with that. The metal part of it dug into my back so that it left even deeper cuts and made me bleed. I quit crying and grabbed onto the blanket to try to dull the pain. Finally, after seeing that I was done crying, he stopped and left. I took the water from the washbasin and cleaned up the cuts as best as I could. Then I changed into a different night dress.
That was the first night that he had beaten me.
May 13, 1901
Daddy and I were in the new school today. Teacher wanted to talk to him about the spots on my arms. He said that I fought with my little brother. I didn't have a little brother. When we got home I got an even worse beating. He yelled at me and accused me of telling on him. Instead of with a belt or a wicker rod he used a metal rod. It hurt a lot more, and sometimes he would heat it up so it would hurt even more. "Daddy, I swear I didn't tell…"
"You're going to go to hell for lying." Another three hits with the metal rod. "Tell me the truth or so help me God…"
"Fine, I did tell…please don't send me away!" He always threatened to send me away when I lied. I was always being bad. He never called me princess anymore because he said that only good girls got called that.
He took the rod and stuck it in the fireplace. I knew better to run away, because the one time I did I had to go to the hospital to get better. I stayed in place until he called me over to him. I slowly walked over to him. He grabbed me and threw me onto my stomach. He kept me down with his foot. He lifted my dress and took the hot rod from the fire and placed it on my back. I couldn't help the screams that escaped from my mouth. I tried hard to keep them back, but they came out anyway. He kept the rod on my back longer than he had before. Probably because of my screams.
Finally he took it off of my back and let me get up. He picked me up and threw me over his shoulder. He threw me into the small closet that he called my room. I was only allowed one hour of sleep in it. The other hours were either spent cleaning the house, servicing his friends, or at school.
I lay down on the bed, tired from the scalding burn on my back. I had just fallen asleep, it seems, when he came back in and tugged me out. "She's a beauty James." Someone said from the other side of the room.
"Take her for an hour if you want. Twenty-five dollars is the price." The man paid my dad and took me away from the house.
It is too painful to remember what happened after that.
September 29, 1901
Daddy has sold me out to his friends a lot this month. I didn't like it. He always said that it helped pay for me to go to school. I hated school. The teachers always ask questions. Like why I was wearing the same dress two days in a row, and why I bring my own lunch instead of paying for one, and why I had all of these bruises on my arms and legs. I didn't play with anyone. Daddy said that I would go to hell if I made friends with anyone. Also, everyone else stayed away from me. The teachers didn't ask me questions pertaining to school and the principal didn't acknowledge what my daddy did to me. He was one of the men that took me this month.
Daddy gave up on the metal rod. Now he starves me, along with hitting and kicking me. I hardly eat anything now, and when I do get something, it's after I clean his house and clean up his horse.
He's made tons of money off of me, but I don't get any new dresses, like I would have if mommy had come back for me. "Daddy, where's mommy?" I asked him one day. That earned me no food for a month and a beating that made me miss school for a week.
"She died." was all he said. I stopped asking about her after that.
Daddy had me cooking for him and his friends every night. It depended on what they wanted. If they wanted chicken, I had to kill a chicken. Daddy always oversaw my cooking, making sure that I didn't take any of his food from him.
I hadn't had food for two months the one day I did steal food. I was hungry and I couldn't stand my stomach clenching anymore. Daddy had gone out to the store for some milk. He didn't trust me at the store. I stole a small bit of bread and quickly ate it. He didn't catch me, but I puked out the bread.
He had found out about it from his best friend, Laurent, a week later. I had been beaten so badly that I had to stay in the hospital for three months, just to re-cooperate and regain my strength.
December 15, 1901
Daddy didn't remember my birthday. Either that or I was too bad this year and didn't deserve it. I had followed what he had told me to do, but I suppose that it wasn't enough to please him. "Daddy, was I bad this year?" I asked him, after I had cleaned up his dinner dishes.
"Yes you were. You were one of the worst hell bound children in the world. This is why your mother won't come back…with your whining and your snobbishness." He took the wood plank and showed me where I was on it. I was on the very bottom. Then he hit me with it, causing me to have a ton more bruises.
School had been over with for a long time. He had stopped me from going because of all the questions that he was asked. Now I was able to have three hours of sleep a day, but I had to get a ton more chores done before he got home. Otherwise I was going to get a really bad beating. I never disobeyed him on purpose; I just casually forgot one chore.
"God damn it Esme. You need to learn more discipline." he took the wooden plank and beat me until I heard a bone break. It was my left arm, again.
He carried me over to the kitchen table and put a splint on it. That was how he fixed all of my breaks. I wasn't allowed to go to a doctor anymore. If daddy couldn't fix it, that was how God wanted it to be…or so daddy said.
My arm never really healed after that.
May 10, 1902
Daddy married a woman named Victoria today. I wasn't allowed to be there because they said I was a disgrace to the family. I hate how he treats me now, but I don't say anything. I never tell anyone these feelings. Nobody that I meet outside of home talks to me. Except for one time.
I was going to the dry goods store. Daddy wanted a new pair of pants, and I had to make them. He gave me just enough money for the cloth. I bought it and was walking home when a lady stopped me and gave me some bread. That was the only time that I saw her, and that someone had been nice to me since my mother left.
When daddy and Victoria got home they sent me off to the cupboard. They were going on their honeymoon and Laurent was going to watch over me…I didn't like Laurent. He was worse than daddy was…in a lot of ways. I sat in the cupboard, waiting for daddy and Victoria to leave, and dreading the moment that Laurent arrived. "Come out you little bitch!" daddy yelled. I walked out of my cupboard slowly. I hated this. I saw Laurent and a strange girl standing by daddy and Victoria. "You know Laurent already. This is Bree. She's Laurent's daughter." I walked over to daddy and examined the girl. She was about my height and had as many bruises as I did. The three adults conversed as they sent me and Bree over to my cupboard.
"I'm Esme." I said, holding my hand out. She shook it and curled up on my small blanket. "What's wrong?" I asked.
"My daddy doesn't love me anymore." she said.
"I can barely remember when mine loved me. Only when my mommy was here did he love me." She looked up from the floor.
I heard the door close and footsteps coming toward the door. I quickly pulled the bolt over the door. When Laurent couldn't open it he yelled. "You little bitch. Open this door."
"You better open it. He'll kill you if you don't." I shook my head and pointed toward the crawlspace. She and I crawled through it and escaped outside. We ran off into the woods that surrounded the house. Daddy always liked living in secluded areas. I knew that Laurent would be looking for us soon so I lead Bree to the tree fort that I had secretly built. We hid in there until it was past midnight then left. I lead her to the police station. "Are you nuts?" she asked, backing away from me. "He'll kill us for sure now."
"Trust me. My daddy won't know what hit him when he gets arrested. I'm sick and tired of being beat and lent out to all his friends." She pulled further away from me, but I convinced her to walk into the police station with me.
"How may I help you?" asked the lady behind the desk.
"Um…I…need to talk to a…a…cop." I wasn't used to being talked to in a nice manner.
"Officer Wainwright a little girl needs to see you." she said to a man behind a big desk. He nodded and she ushered me over.
"What can I help you with?" he asked, bending down so that he could look me in the yes. I backed up away from him. "What's wrong?" he asked.
"Um…my daddy…" I stopped there. I didn't know how to continue on. I started crying. I was almost out of tears but there were still some left. That's when Officer Wainwright took me into an embrace. I was afraid, but he just hugged me. I haven't gotten a hug since Mommy left. That's when Bree took over.
"BOTH of our daddy's…hurt us." Officer Wainwright took both of us into his arms and brought us to his office. He closed the door and sat us on the couch. He sat between us.
"What do you mean by 'hurt' you?"
"He…He…touched us…"
A/N:
I hope you enjoyed!! XxAmanda is A Jasper's GirlxX and I wrote this
very long chapter!! Review!!
Amber and Amanda
