Disclaimer: Don't own KH.

How to Show you Care…or Not.

II. Xigbar

-Call him patchy

-Tell him he's too old to be a surfer, and that he's giving the real surfers a bad name

-Tell him "As if" is a horrible catchphrase all together

-Blame everything you do wrong on him

Buy him a cellphone for his birthday and make sure you know the number to it. When it's activated, be sure to call him every five minutes just to tell him he's not a superior, but he's just plain old. Not only will this annoy him, but it will waste his minutes, and his bill will be more expensive.

-Spread rumors around the castle saying that he and Marluxia are dating, as this will cause the flower man to become enraged at him.

-Tell him his hair looks like he killed a skunk and stuck it to his head.

-Ask him why he always says things like "dude!" and "As IF!". If he doesn't answer the question, then you know that it's because his somebody was a surfer, and Xigbar is trying to imitate him (and failing miserably).

-Ask him if he's a pirate, as he's always wearing that eye patch. When he tells you he's not, then go around telling everybody he is.

-Steal his gun and replace the ammo with sticky darts. Go and find Saix, and when he turns around shoot him in the scar yelling "X marks the spot!". When he becomes enraged, tell him Xigbar made you do it, so he goes berserk on the free shooter instead of you.

-Cut his ponytail, as you can tell that that man would clearly be attached to his hair.

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Yeah, I know, some of it's not that funny. Suggestions for the next Orgy people are more than welcome.

Thanks for reading! R&R!