Chapter Two:

Duct Tape and Death Threats

Envy smirked evilly at Annora, who stared at him like he had grown a second head. The sixteen-year old mentally just ran over what she had just seen in the past minute, and quickly decided that she had either lost her mind, or this was some sick dream.

"What, no snappy comebacks?" Envy asked mockingly as he took another step towards Annora.

"Shut it, fathead."

The Homunculus made a low sound in the back of his throat to indicate that he was not amused. Annora just rolled her eyes and glared at the man.

"Just to let you know, you need to stop acting so damn cocky. No man is invincible."

Envy lunged forward, grabbed her arm and dragged her close to him, sticking his face right into hers.

"And why is that, wench?"

Annora smirked at him as she swiftly brought up her knee to connect with Envy's groin, hard. The Homunculi's eyes bugged out and he immediately released the sixteen-year old, who kicked his feet out from under him and sent him flying into an empty trashcan that was located right behind him. Annora seized the metal lid and slammed it down on top of the can with all of her strength.

Before the stunned shapeshifter could recover, the teenager pulled out a large roll of duct tape from her backpack and taped the lid down securely. She then jumped up and sat on the metal trashcan, an unholy grin flickering across her face as the can began to shake violently and the present occupant began to curse up a storm. Annora looked down and allowed herself to smirk knowingly at the shuddering lid.

"That's why no man is invincible, dumbass."

A series of extremely foul curses reverberated from within the metal container in response to her sarcastic comment.

Annora's victory was short lived when Ed and Al came around the corner and stared at her in disbelief as she hopped off the trashcan, which promptly fell over on its side.

"Umm… is Envy…?" Ed asked hesitantly as he pointed at the bucking trashcan. Annora gave him a knowing grin as she kicked the can so that it rolled into the side of a nearby building.

"Yeah, he is. He decided that he wanted to imitate Houdini, but sadly, he can't get out right now, due to the lack of brain cells."

This time, it was Annora's turn to step back as Ed smirked evilly and clapped his hands together before placing them on the metal trashcan. There was a flash of bright blue light and a strong gust of wind; once that had faded and the snow had settled, Annora was surprised to see that the trashcan had become a solid metal tube with a handle at the top. The teenager grabbed her backpack and began to back away slowly, her brown eyes wide with uncertainty.

Ed smirked as he dusted off his white gloved hands and began to turn around.

"So can you tell us why-" he trailed off when he saw Annora running away from them as though her life depended on it. A massive sweatdrop appeared on the back of the alchemist's head and his right eyebrow began to twitch violently.

"Hey Al, could you pick up that trashcan?" Ed shouted over his shoulder as he shot off after the fleeing teenager. "I'm gonna go catch that girl!"

Alphonse stared at the shuddering trashcan and sighed as he picked it up and ran after his older brother.

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'What the hell just happened back there?!' Annora wondered as she dashed through the alleyways frantically. The teenager was officially spooked from what she had just witnessed, so she was extremely relieved when she emerged from the endless network of alleys onto the main streets. She sprinted down the sidewalk, focusing more on finding surroundings that she was familiar with than where she was going. The sixteen-year old gave a startled gasp as she tripped over a piece of the sidewalk that was sticking up and collided head on with a certain pyro who just happened to be going in the opposite direction as her.

"Oww…" Annora groaned as she shook her head to clear it. She was startled when a hand grabbed the back of her jacket and lifted her to her feet.

"Are you okay, missy?" Colonel Roy Mustang asked. Annora stared at him in shock while all of the blood drained from her face. Unlike with Ed and Al, she knew perfectly well who it was that she was looking as, seeing as his face practically covered every inch of Katie's bedroom. The sixteen-year old placed her right hand on her forehead and gave a groan.

"Oh great, it's official; I have lostit. Of all the people for me to run into, it has to be the pervert."

Roy Mustang looked at her and quirked an eyebrow in question. "Pervert?"

Annora glanced up at the black-haired man and looked him dead in the eye.

"Miniskirts as part of the women's military uniform?" she asked in a deadpan tone with both eyebrows raised. The Flame Alchemist stared at her in shock for several long moments, rendered completely speechless.

"You… how did-how did you know that?!"

The teenager allowed a ghost of a smile to cross her lips before she gave her response.

"I'm psychic."

A very stunned Colonel Mustang stared at her before his expression changed to one of disbelief. Just as he opened his mouth to say something, a shout rang out.

"Colonel, stop her!"

Annora turned around slightly and caught sight of Edward running towards them. Mustang grabbed a hold of her right forearm as he looked over at Ed.

"What'd she do, Fullmetal? Call you 'chibi chump'?" he called out, a knowing smirk on his face. Annora could have sworn that she heard something snap over in Ed's direction at that point. The teenager immediately decided that she did not want to be in the area and began to struggle against the Flame Alchemist's iron grip.

"Let me go!" she cried out as she attempted to yank her arm out of the Colonel's grasp. Mustang tightened his grip on her as he stared at her intently.

"I don't think so, kid."

Annora scowled at the man before she slid her backpack down her right arm and swung it into the Flame Alchemist's stomach, hard. Mustang let out a strangled 'oof!' as the wind was driven out of his lungs and released Annora, much to her relief. The sixteen-year old didn't even spare a backward glance as she hefted the strap of her backpack back up onto her shoulder and took off running.

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With a sigh of relief, Annora sat down on an area of pavement that didn't have snow on it and leaned up against the brick wall of yet another alley.

"Man, this has been one weird day," she muttered as she ran a hand through her honey-brown bangs. Another sigh escaped her lips, this one of exasperation, as she looked at her blue-gray canvas backpack sitting next to her. The sixteen-year old unzipped the middle compartment, pulled out Katie's 'Fullmetal Alchemist' manga, and flipped it open to a random page. She silently skimmed the book for a few minutes before she snapped it shut and stuffed it back into her backpack, a scowl on her face.

"It's not possible, is it?" she asked quietly as she leaned back and closed her eyes.

Annora's eyes immediately shot open as the ground beneath her began to shake violently. Without a moment's hesitation, she got to her feet and grabbed her backpack before moving away from the wall.

"What is this… an earthquake?"

The sixteen-year old gave a startled yelp as a gigantic hand made out of stone shot up from the pavement and attempted to grab her. She leapt backwards and whirled around before jumping on top of a trashcan, and then a dumpster, to avoid the hand. The stone appendage stopped for a few moments before it sped over to her perch.

"Fuck!" Annora swore as she grabbed the lip of the wooden fence that the dumpster was placed up against and vaulted over it expertly.

She landed on the concrete on the other side and almost fell flat on her butt before she regained her balance. The teenager stared at the wooden barrier apprehensively, hoping that it would stop the hand.

CRASH!

No such luck. The stone hand plowed right through the fence, reducing it to matchwood as it sped towards her.

"Aww, shit," Annora muttered as she spun around, and for the third time that day, began to run.

"Damn it! Why is this happening to me? What did I do to deserve this?!" Annora gritted out as she sped down the alleyway and rounded a random corner in an attempt to ditch her inanimate pursuer. An eight-foot brick wall loomed up ahead, and a smile crept across the sixteen-year old's mouth as she put on an extra burst of speed.

She quickly hopped up onto an old wooden crate and jumped up, barely snagging the lip of the wall. The teenager swore foully under her breath as she struggled up onto the top of the wall and lay flat on her stomach. Panting from exertion, Annora looked back towards the entrance to the side alley, and was relieved to see that the stone hand had not followed her. A sigh of relief escaped her lips as she sat up and straddled the brick wall with one leg on either side and allowed herself to slowly relax. At that moment, a strong gust of wind untangled her already loose scarf from around her neck (a byproduct from all the running she had just done), and it slid off her neck and floated down to land in the snow not five feet from the wall.

Annora blinked several times in surprise before she glared at the hapless piece of fabric.

"Stupid scarf," she grumbled under her breath. Cautiously, she looked around her to make sure that she hadn't been followed by anyone before she slowly scooted down and landed on the wooden crate that she had used to climb up the wall with a soft 'thud'. The sixteen-year old crouched down on the rough wooden surface and slid off her backpack, resting it on the lid of the crate. She quickly jumped off the crate and ran over to where her scarf lay, which she picked up and stuffed into the pocket of her jacket just as the ground began to shake again.

"Not again-" Annora began, only to stop in mid-phrase as a wave of liquid stone rose up and encased her legs from the knees down, effectively immobilizing her.

"What… what the hell?!" she yelped as she struggled to break free. "This is not happening! It's not possible!"

Movement at the entrance of the side caught Annora's attention, causing her to look up from her imprisoned feet.

"It is if you know alchemy," Edward pointed out calmly, crossing his arms over his chest. Annora sent a supremely dirty look in his direction just as two other people rounded the corner to the alley. One of them was Alphonse, who had the trashcan that contained Envy slung over his shoulder. The other turned out to be one very upset member of the Amestris military, who also, ironicly, happened to be an alchemist.

"Nice work, Fullmetal," Colonel Mustang said as he strode foreward, pulling on his white ignition-cloth gloves while Al set down his metal burden. "Now just keep her still until I'm finished with her. I have some questions that I want to ask this girl."

"What do you mean by that, jerk?" Annora spat as she glared daggers at the Flame Alchemist.

"Assualting a State Alchemist is an offense, girl," Mustang pointed out as he brought his fingers together. Annora merely rolled her eyes in response.

"An offense to you, or an offense to everyone that actually believes it the same crap that you do?" Annora responded sarcastically. "'State Alchemist' my ass. The last time I checked, there is no such thing."

"Oh really?" the Colonel asked, raising an eyebrow. "Then perhaps you can explain this."

The Flame Alchemist snapped his fingers together, creating a spark between them. He then sent a tongue of flame in Annora's direction, extinguishing it before it got too close to her face. Annora's eyes widened in fear and the blood drained out of her face almost instantly.

Edward rolled his eyes upwards and shook his head. "Quit playing pyro, Colonel Bastard."

Mustang directed a poisonous glare at the younger alchemist before a knowing smirk crept across his mouth.

"Shut it, runt."

"What?!" Ed exploded, a vein throbbing on his forehead. "Who're you calling a runt so tiny that they can fit through the eye of a needle?!"

"Umm… Brother, he didn't say that," Alphonse pointed out as he was forced to restrain his older sibling. Annora, who had regained her attitude, just rolled her eyes at the entire scene.

"Idiot," she muttered softly. That got Ed's attention.

"Who're you calling an idiot? Last time I checked, you're the one that's trapped in rock right now!"

Annora literally saw red at the comment. She lunged at the boy, intent on causing him extreme bodily harm, only to be held back by her stone encased feet.

"Why you little-" she growled, unconciously clenching and unclenching her hands. "When I get my hands on you, you are dead!"

The Fullmetal Alchemist only smirked at her, which served only to further irritate the already angry teenager. Roy Mustang quickly stepped in between the too, preventing stronger words from being exchanged.

"As intersting as this is to watch, I'm afraid that I have some questions that need to be answered," the Flame Alchemist stated calmly before he turned his dark gaze to Annora.

"What was in that bag of yours, girl?" the Colonel demanded as he stood face to face with her. The sixteen-year old gave him a knowing grin in response.

"Why, did it hurt?"

Ed burst out laughing at this statement. He didn't seem to notice the deadly look that Mustang was giving him. "The great 'Flame Alchemist', hurt by a teenage girl?! This is great!"

"Shut up, Fullmetal! You wouldn't think so if you had ben the one hit by it, and besides, that stupid thing was heavy!"

With that, the man looked back at Annora and adopted a stern expression.

"Well, what's in it?"

"None of your god damn business."

Mustang quirked an eyebrow in surprise before he turned around smartly on his heel and strolled towards Annora's backpack. The teenager's eyes widened in shock when she realized what the Flame Alchemist was going to do.

"You bastard!" she spat, her eyes blazing angrily. "If you so much as touch my backpack, I will personally casterate you with a spork!"

Ed and Al both looked over at each other and shrugged, while Mustang flinched slightly.

"What's a spork?"

"What does it sound like, moron?" Annora replied sarcastically. Ed twitched at the jab and whirled around to face her.

"What did you just call me?!"

"You heard me, moron!"

The two bickering teenagers were soon interupted by Mustang calling Edward over.

"Hey, Fullmetal, you might want to come take a look at this."

Annora looked over and went an interesting shade of white when she caught sight of what the Colonel was holding up.

"Crap," she whispered as Ed went over and examined Katie's 'Fullmetal Alchemist' graphic novel. The sixteen-year old suddenly found herself face to face with a very angry Edward Elric, who grabbed the front of her sweater and pulled her face down close to his.

"Who the hell are you, and where the hell did you get this?!" he demanded, shoving the manga into her face.

"My name is Annora, and that is not mine. It belongs to a friend of mine!" she protested. Ed gave a snort of derision as he let go of her sweater.

"If I had a sen for every time someone said that, I'd be a millionaire," Mustang muttered dryly. Annora looked over at him and scowled angrily.

"Look, I'm telling the truth, damn it! That's not mine!"

It was at that point that Annora's cell phone began to ring, its slightly muffled bell tone echoing in the still winter air. Everyone except Annora look at each other in confusion.

"Call me crazy," Ed began hesitantly. "But did I just hear a phone ring?"

Her phone rang again, and everyone in the alleyway watched in amazement as Annora pulled her cell phone out of her pants pocket and looked at the screen before flipping it open.

"Hello?" the sixteen-year old asked quietly. She flinched and held the phone away from her ear as a loud, high-pitched squeal issued from the other end of the line.

"Annora, Annora, Annora!" Katie yelled excitedly from her end. "Where'd you get that picture of Envy?!"

The teenager sweatdropped as she stared incredulously at the phone in her hand.

"Umm… the Internet?" she offered tentatively as she put the phone back up to her ear again. She was forced to quickly yank it away from her head just as Katie let out another series of loud squeals of excitement.

"What website?!"

Annora looked at her phone with an expression of horror on her face. "Oh God. She's gone into rabid fangirl mode," she whispered quietly. The teenager looked at the cell phone in her hand and silently debated on the merits of hanging up right then. She knew that Katie had to pratically be screaming into her phone, seeing as how she and everyone else in the alley could hear the entire conversation without the phone being next to their ear. The look on Ed and Mustang's face was all the evidence she needed to convince her of that fact. She gave a sigh of exasperation and rolled her eyes as she put the phone back up to her ear.

"Look, Katie, I'm gonna have to let you go… I'm kind of in a lot of trouble right now."

"Why?"

"Surprisingly, because of you."

"What'd I do?"

"Let's just say that you better hope, for your sake, that I've forgotten about what's gone on in the past hour by the time I get to school tomorrow."

Katie paused for a few moments, obviously confused, before she changed the topic.

"So, have you read the book yet?"

All the people in the alley watched in interest as Annora clenched her free hand so hard that her nails dug into her palm and gritted her teeth.

"No, Katie," she gritted out between clenched teeth. "I haven't read your book, and somehow, I don't think that I really want to right now."

"Why?" Katie whined.

"Because I'm up to my eyeballs in shit because of it!" Annora roared as her patience finally snapped. "Goodbye!"

She swiftly snapped her phone shut and stuffed it back into the pocket of her jeans as she struggled to gain some control over her anger.

Colonel Mustang quirked an eyebrow in interest once he had gotten over the total and complete strangeness of the event that had just taken place.

"Was that… a telephone… that you just used?" he asked. Annora gave him a look that said 'okay, just how stupid are you?' and nodded slowly, unsure as to where this particular conversation was going. Mustang looked thoughtful at this information before he turned around to face Ed.

"I can definitely see why you believe that she's one of the Homunculi; that would certainly explain why that individual, Envy I believe it was, was chasing after her."

"Wait, what?" Annora blinked a couple of times before she raised her eyebrows in confusion. "You think that I'm hacking up a lugie?"

Mustang face vaulted at this remark, while Al began to laugh softly.

"It's not hacking up a lugie, it's Homunculi," he explained while Ed kicked the trashcan that contained Envy into a wall to shut up the now-swearing Homunculus. "Brother thought you were a Homunculus because Envy was chasing after you."

"Wait a sec, you thought that I was a … whatever… because the crossdressing looser was chasing me?" The sixteen-year old burst out laughing at this. "The only reason that he was chasing me was because he was pissed that I called him an anorexic, cross-dressing palm tree."

The trash can that Envy was trapped in began to shake violently, while Ed almost fell over laughing.

"Stop calling me that!" the homunculus raged. "And stop laughing, Fullmetal Twerp!"

"Shut up, bevis. You're the one that got your ass kicked by a girl!" Annora shot back before Ed could even open his mouth. Mustang rolled his eyes and gave a low groan of aggrivation.

"Oh good lord, it's a female version of Fullmetal," he muttered as he massaged the bridge of his nose. Both teens glared at him in response.

"Am not !" they both shouted simultaously. Mustang only shook his head.

"I rest my case."

Annora twitched violently at this statement, but she at least amnaged to retain some control over her temper. What the older man said next, however, was what sent her over the edge.

"You're going to have to come back with us, girl."

"What?!" Annora yelped.

"Alphonse, could you carry her? I don't trust her to walk on her own without taking off."

Al nodded and wrapped his arms around Annora while Ed released her feet from the concrete.

"You can't do this, you bastards!" the teenager raged as she struggled furiously against her captor, a murderous light shining in her brown eyes. Ed only ignored her as he grabbed Envy's trashcan while Mustang looked her dead in the eye.

"Yes we can, missie. You are under suspicion of being a Homunculus, and you assualted an officer of the military."

With that parting comment, he turned around and began to walk away, still holding Annora's bag. As Al picked her up, the sixteen-year old began to spout a series of extremely foul curses directed at Ed, Mustang, Envy, and Alphonse. It was only when she had run out of breath did she momentarily fall silent. Once she had gotten her breath back, Annora began to mutter darkly under her breath.

"Umm… Brother?" Alphonse asked in a slightly panicky tone. "She's muttering something about killing Katie, whoever that is."

Ed looked back at his younger brother in surprise before he narrowed his eyes at Annora.

"Stop scaring my brother," he growled. Annora chose to respond to his remark with an obscene hand gesture. Ed rolled his eyes and returned his golden gaze ahead of him, pointedly ignoring the angry teen. It was about that point that Annora started up her angry tirade once again.

It was only when Annora told Mustang to go do something physically impossible, loudly, while they were in the middle of a busy street en route to headquarters, that Mustang snapped.

"Fullmetal, gag her, now." He ordered tersely before turning around to address all of the bewildered townspeople staring at them.

"Government business, move along. Nothing to see here," he explained, shooing curious pedestrians away.

Annora eyeballed Edward uneasily as he pulled a large hankerchief out of his pocket with a relieved look on his face. Apparently, he was as tired as Mustang was of listening to her continous stream of obscenities.

"Shutting up now," she muttered as she clamped her mouth shut.

"Thank God," the Flame Alchemist muttered as they entered the main gates to the millitary building. The small party received several strange stares as they entered the building.

"Fullmetal, find Second Lieutenant Havoc and have him take that hellion to a holding cell," Mustang ordered. "If you need me, I'll be in my office."

Ed opened his mouth to fire back some smart-ass remark just as he spotted Major Armstrong headed in their direction. Quickly, the teenage alchemist spun around and ran off to find Havoc.

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Twenty minutes later

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Annora scowled as she sat, cross-legged, on a wooden cot with a mattress on it in a small cell. Besides the cot with its blanket and pillow, the cell had only a mirror, sink, and toilet as its sparse furnishings. The tenager had managed to get her backpack back, intact, minus Katie's 'FMA' manga. With a sigh, the girl flopped down on her back and stared up at the stone ceiling.

"Well this sucks," she muttered.

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Woot! Five reviews! Thank you everyone for reviewing. This fic is a joint effort between me and my friend mustang-013 , which we created during our spare time in study hall before winter break. I write it, and we both come up with various ideas as to what we put in it.

Lightning Dragon Alchemist: Don't say that, I really like your fic. Besides, if you ask me, your fic is way better than mine. -.-; Strange how we think that another person's work is better than our own when we review, ne? Anyways, I'm so glad that you like my fic; it's reviews like yours that keep me writing them.

Rurouni: My fic rocks your socks? Why thank you so very much, I'm flattered.

Liah Cauthon: So Annora reminds you of your sister? Heh, that's funny, seeing as Annora is based heavily off of me and my own personality. Believe it or not, I actually just made Katie up; she's not based off of anyone that I know, well… except this one girl that's in one of my classes, but very loosely. She's obsessed with Ed, and squeals whenever I pull up a picture of him on the internet.

hee hee: Yeah, Dante is diluded. Personally, I think she needs to see a shrink pronto. Don't worry, the body-snatching sea hag will meet her just deserts sooner or later in my story. (Dante: Hey! I am not a sea hag!)

animeroxmyworld: I'm glad you think my fic is hilarious. I actually tried to make it that way, so I'm glad that I was successful.