Disclaimer: All characters belong to Rick Riordan, storyline is mine. Music by Arctic Monkeys.
A/N: There's an outfit on Polyvore for this chapter, the link is on my profile. Enjoy!
She's a silver lining
lone ranger riding
through an open space
in my mind when she's
not right there beside me
I go crazy
It's easy to realize how easily you've been swept up by someone once you see them jealous. Once you see how they really want you.
I hadn't seen him in weeks and after I decided that kissing a stranger was a good idea, he left me, brushing the whole thing away as if it hadn't happened. I want him to want to be with me. I want him to show interest instead of acting like nothing matters. Being him around him is intoxicating, and addicting. I want him as much as I've wanted anything. I want him to know how much it sucks to see him with other girls. I've avoided the issue, not telling Reyna exactly what happened. I think she knows because whenever she brings up a party I can tell whether he will be there or not based on how she looks at me: with caution or with excitement.
One day I agree to come, not allowing him to affect where I go on a Friday night. So when I finally get there, dressed like I shouldn't, with no makeup on but red lipstick and my hair teased a little, I am ready to run out and go back home where I can hide. I start to slow down as we reach the door and Reyna looks back, knowing exactly what is running through my head.
"No, you are doing this. I'm tired of you not coming because of him. He's a douche anyways."
After some reassurance and a hard tug, I'm inside and already regretting it. Everyone stares at my bare midriff and I'm ready to pull my cardigan over my stomach. Eyes curiously regard me, some with envy and others with attraction and I avoid every single one of them. Reyna hands me a drink and I bite my lip. Do I want to be drunk? The answer is yes. Next thing I know, I've chugged it and Reyna laughs, handing me another. I sit around for a while, sneaking looks at him the corner, laughing, with his hand on some new girls hip. They're never the same girl, always different and always pretty in a certain way I will never be.
Reyna groans and pulls me onto the crowded dance floor, trying to get me to dance with her. The alcohol hasn't set in enough for me to be able to grind but sure enough, after a few more, I'm pressed up against some guy, moving in a way that I would definitely judge if I was sober. He seems into it and for once I'm not thinking of what everyone thinks, I'm thinking about how his hands are creeping places they probably shouldn't, but the gods know I've more than encouraged it. My hands lace into his hair and I smile when his hands tighten on my hips and bring me closer. One of his legs slipped between mine and my awkward moves somehow become smooth and seductive. It's sweaty and my cardigan is draped on a chair across the room, leaving me more bare than I had imagined.
I haven't looked at him once and I feel a sick sense of pride that I had resisted the temptation. This new guy seems more than comfortable, letting his hands roam around the area of skin that the crop top showed. I finally pat his shoulder, shout something about a drink and head into the crowded kitchen. Everyone leans against the counters and a group of people stand, mixing drinks and distributing them, almost like makeshift bartenders. I fill a cup with the crappy beer from a keg, only craving the warmth and false sense of confidence it gives me.
I stop in my track when I look up and don't stop until a wave of beer washes over my hand. I step back and shake me head before I feel his hand grab my elbow and I start chugging, knowing I'll need it and knowing this will be a confrontation for the books.
"Hey." I roll my eyes at his greeting and try to walk away.
"Talk to me!" he whisper-shouts.
I turn and glare at him, wanting to smack the piteous look in his eyes. How dare he.
"What the fuck do you want?" I ask.
He shrugs and bites his lip, almost like he's trying to stop himself from saying something.
I roll my eyes and rip my elbow out of his grasp, walking through the hallway back to the huge living room. My shoulder is pushed into the wall and his tall frame blocks me from getting out, almost like a cage.
"Are you trying to make me jealous?" he asks. "Because dancing like that with some douchebag is sure as hell doing it."
I almost smile in triumph before I rethink and keep my face blank, not wanting to give him any satisfaction.
"I could ask you the same. You obviously don't want anything to do with me, so don't think you have any right to stake a claim. I can do whatever I want with whoever I want, just like it's fine for some girl to be draped all over you."
His eyes harden and before I have time to shy away, his lips are at my ear saying, "What if it's you I want draped all over me?"
I push him back into the other wall, jamming my pointer finger into his chest. "Then you start acting like it and stop ignoring me, as if I was just some quick makeout session. I'm not trash nor will I ever be."
My chest is heaving and he has the audacity to chuckle. I lift a hand and it almost makes contact with his face before he catches it, using it to pull me against his body.
"What if I told you I don't want you with any other guy. What if I told you I want you to be mine, just mine?"
I melt a little, putting a hand on the wall beside his head. His hand slips into the back pocket of my jeans and pushes my hips into his. I swallow the small moan that starts to bubble in my throat once he kisses my neck.
"What if I told you that I want to be completely yours." I look at him to see if his statement is sincere, not ready to be pulled in my something like I have been.
"I'd tell you to prove it."
And with that, I push away and walk, leaving him behind me.
