Author's note -

Alright so... Nyota might appear a little OOC in this, but I wanted to give her a reaction to Spock's actions and all that jazz

Disclaimer -

I don't own Star Trek.

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Spock had been mildly surprised at how much he had enjoyed the sight of Nero's ship sinking into the black hole, but seeing as how that vessel and those on it were responsible for the murder of his mother, people, and planet, he felt the feeling was justified.

"Sulu, take us home," Kirk commanded after space was silent again.

'Take us home' was the phrase the Captain had used, but did it apply to him anymore? Spock had lived on Earth for a few years now while attending, and then teaching at the Academy, but it had never been his home. Despite the unpleasantness he had to put up with there, in his mind his home was Vulcan. Now that it no longer existed, what would he call home now?

Spock had once heard a human state that 'home is where the heart is', and had promptly dismissed it as just another human saying that made no sense at all. Perhaps Nyota could explain it to him – she was the logical one to go to, as, along with the fact that he felt she was the only person on the Enterprise that he could discuss such matters with, he believed that there was the distinct possibility that the answer would have something to do with her. That conversation could wait though. When he had made the vow to share his feelings with her while in the shuttle, he had meant it. Seeing as how they would soon reach Earth and be caught up in a turmoil of paperwork, commendations, and of course the continuation of Kirk's academic probation hearing... Yes, he had better have that conversation with her now before they ran out of time.

Looking around the bridge though, he could not locate her. She must have left while he was lost in his own thoughts. Letting her slip away unnoticed was certainly not a wise choice to make in the future, he reprimanded himself, thinking of all the dangerous things they had encountered on this mission alone.

"Captain, permission to go to my quarters," Spock asked, rationalizing that this was not a lie. He would go to his quarters... after he had found Nyota.

Kirk seemed to think so too. Responding with, "Permission granted," he added a, "go get 'er tiger," as Spock turned to leave.

What a ridiculous human phrase. While Spock had resolved to become a better 'man', and be more human with his feelings concerning Nyota, he, utilizing another human phrase, 'drew the line' when it came to saying stupid lines like that.

Out in the hallway, Spock decided that the most logical place to look for Nyota was her quarters, as she was not injured and it was not time for a meal. Heading in her direction at double his normal pace, he had nearly reached her door when his pointed ears picked up the muffled sounds of somebody crying. He then realized that it was coming from her room. Spock was next to the door in an instant.

"Nyota," he said loudly, pressing the intercom button. Upon receiving no reply, he pressed it again and resolved that if there was no reply again this time, he would override the system. This was not to be the case though, as the door slid open with a mechanical swish.

She was sitting on her bed, hastily rubbing away any traces of the tears she had been willing herself not to cry since she had watched him go on that suicide mission. She was a strong woman, but only a robot, or possibly a Vulcan, could have held in the feelings that were now overtaking her. She couldn't, and wouldn't, do it anymore.

"Whats wrong?" he asked, moving further inside the room, concerned that his first prediction was wrong, and that she actually was injured and in need of Dr. McCoy. After all, they had just won and provided a victory for the Federation – there was no reason to be crying. When she did not answer his question, Spock moved closer still, until finally he stopped, standing right in front of her, eyes roving over her body in search of the problem.

"Nyota-"

"No!" she suddenly exclaimed, and then, quieter, added, "Don't. Don't 'Nyota' me Spock, I can't deal with this right now. Please. Go."

Surprised and completely confused, Spock looked upon her as she stared at the floor, noticing the drops of liquid that fell from her beautiful brown eyes. He was conflicted. Did he follow her wishes and leave? He found himself unable to even fully consider that option. Instead, he decided to disregard her request, and tried again. He had a very important thing to tell her after all.

"Nyota, please, tell me what is wrong so I can assist you in some way. Why do you cry? Did somebody hurt you?"

Silence, and then...

"I almost lost you Spock. Do you know how that made me feel?" she stood up, pushing him with both hands, letting her anger get the best of her.

"I had to watch your signal as you flew towards a Romulan who wanted nothing more than to kill you. I watched your signal, trying not to blink, knowing that if it disappeared you were dead, and knowing that I. Couldn't. Stop. It." she explained, punctuating each of the last words with a pounding of her fists to Spock's chest.

He stood there and took it, unmoving, understanding that though it didn't make complete sense, she needed this physical release of her anger.

"I'm not even mad at you though," she said quietly, bringing her hands to her sides slowly and looking down once more. "I'm upset with myself, because when we started this...this thing that we have, I knew. I knew that you would, in all likelihood, never feel the same way about me that I feel about you, but I also told myself that I could deal with that. And then you went and almost got yourself killed, and... I don't know." Stopping to recollect, and take a deep breath, she continued in a more calm manner. "I know it's unfair of me, and it's not your fault at all. It's just that sometimes I wish I knew how you felt."

A solitary tear ran down her cheek, and Spock, in a human-like motion that surprised Nyota, brushed it away with his thumb and then lightly placed his hands on either side of her face. A silent question passed through his eyes, and she nodded in assent and understanding.

He had never attempted a mind meld with her, and yet Spock found it to be one of the easiest connections he had ever made. Reaching into his memories, he brought forth his thoughts on the shuttle, laying them bare before Nyota. As she witnessed the scene from his view, she felt his fear when he thought he would die, not necessarily for the end of his life, but because he wouldn't be able to spend it with her. She experienced his hypothesis of what her future would hold, and found that she didn't like it because he wasn't there. And then, lastly, she felt shock, not his but her own, when she realized how he felt for her. When he was beamed back to the platform and she saw herself through his eyes, she gasped.

The memory over, Spock released her mind, but did not remove his hands from her face. This was his moment. He knew that Nyota would love him even if he never said the words to her – the memory was so clear in showing how he felt that she now knew without a doubt how affectionately he viewed her. Despite this, however, she deserved to hear the words.

She watched him think, watched his expressive dark eyes as he held her face gently between his hands. She realized that even if he never told her he loved her, she would always be his.

"Spock-"

"Nyota," he said, uncharacteristically cutting her off. "There's something I need to tell you."

"No Spock, you don't need to. I'm sorry for freaking out on you and-"

"Nyota," he repeated firmly. "I do need to tell you this, but what's more, I want to tell you this. Nyota Uhura, I...I love you."


Thanks for reading =)

The continuation of this scene is coming, promise.

Tell me what you think so far?