It took remarkably little time for Crona to get used to Ragnarok's presence. It wasn't like they had that much else to think about, and constant exposure could make anything normal. He just became a part of their life, like the emptiness of their room and the gratifying (if nerve-wracking) visits from their mother.
Visits that were increasingly frequent, lately. After she had confirmed that both Crona and Ragnarok had survived the procedure, she began running tests. They were simple at first, just coaxing Ragnarok into appearing and disappearing. Crona didn't really mind, as they were getting fed regularly without having to do much of anything.
Ragnarok, on the other hand, was almost subdued. He still snapped at Crona occasionally, but he spent most of the day submerged in their bloodstream. For the most part, he only appeared when their mother summoned him, and then he said nothing unless ordered to.
As the tests became more complex, though, Crona was drawn back into the process. They learned that Ragnarok was capable of being a sword as well as the homunculus attached to their back, and that they were expected to learn how to wield that sword.
The first step was apparently to "feel Ragnarok's soul". Their mother wouldn't give them any further instruction, saying that they should be able to accomplish that much with ease. They stood there, sword in hand, trying to figure out exactly what she meant. But without instruction, they didn't even know where to start, and an hour later they had made no progress. For the first time in a while, they went to bed without any food.
Ragnarok made a rare spontaneous appearance that night. "Crona, you idiot!" he screeched. "Can't you do anything right? I'm hungry too, you know!"
Crona had nearly had a heart attack at the sudden combination of loud noises and discomfort, but they pulled themself together as best they could. "I'm sorry, Ragnarok," they said. "I just don't know anything about souls."
"Well, you better hurry up and learn," Ragnarok said. "My supper is on the line!"
Crona's was too, of course,, but now didn't seem like the time to bring that up. "Okay," they said instead. "Ummm… do you want to practice now?"
Ragnarok snorted. "I don't want to do anything with a dummy like you, but if it means we can actually eat tomorrow I guess we can."
Crona blinked, and suddenly they were holding a sword. "You know where I am, so just reach out to my soul. Even you should be able to manage that," Ragnarok said. His voice was hollow, even for him.
Crona closed their eyes, trying to picture Ragnarok's soul. They reached out mentally to where the sword was, trying to find something that felt like what they were picturing, that felt like Ragnarok.
There was a moment of awareness where they could feel Ragnarok in their hands, could almost feel power just out of their reach. They strained harder, trying to bridge the distance between them. Their souls were almost touching, they thought. Just a little farther…
The connection snapped, and Crona was thrown back into their own mind. It felt strangely confining, somehow, but they shoved the feeling to the side. There was a chance they'd imagined the whole experience in an attempt to appease Ragnarok, and even if they hadn't they had other things to worry about. "Did it work?" they asked.
"Obviously not," he said. "You'd be able to tell if it did. Now get it right this time!"
It would have been much easier if someone actually told them what they were supposed to be doing, Crona thought, bemused and faintly annoyed. They quickly shifted their focus to the task at hand. It seemed like they were making progress, so they decided to try the same thing again.
Once again, they seemed to feel Ragnarok as a presence within the weapon. There was the same feeling of power, and again they grabbed for it, trying to claim it for their own. But just like before, it darted out of their grasp, and they were enclosed within the limits of their own head.
"I'm waiting!" Ragnarok said. Crona steeled themself for another attempt.
This process repeated itself several more times before Ragnarok finally sighed. "You can't even do this much? Fine, I'll step in. But you have to ask nicely first."
By that point, Crona just wanted to go to sleep. They had been doing their best to try to reach Ragnarok's soul, and whether they were making progress or not they were expending a lot of energy. "Please help me, Ragnarok," they said.
"I guess that will do," Ragnarok said.
There was a moment in which nothing happened, and Crona wondered if Ragnarok had ever done this either. Then, suddenly, they felt a horrible constricting feeling, like the time their mother had left them to "play" with one of her pythons. It had wrapped around their arm and squeezed until they'd thought it was going to cut the arm off. Now, it felt like someone was doing the same thing to their soul.
"There, that's my soul," Ragnarok said. "Now that you know what it feels like, you can try to reach it. Try not to take too long, I'm sick of your face already!"
Crona wasn't entirely sure they wanted to reach Ragnarok's soul, not if it felt like that. But they wanted to disappoint their mother even less, so they hesitantly reached out one more time.
This time, when they got to where they could feel Ragnarok's presence, they paused. His soul had sort of felt a certain way when he'd touched theirs, so maybe if they mimicked that feeling they could touch his.
Not that they had any idea how to do that, but it was something new to try. They tried to imitate the feeling of confidence and aggression that had emanated from Ragnarok. Their souls actually seemed to synchronize a little, and Crona flinched.
That was what did it. As they cringed away, Ragnarok's soul came forward and once again surrounded theirs. The feeling was slightly less oppressive for being familiar, but no less intimidating.
Crona tore themself away from Ragnarok's soul, shaking. Nothing about that experience could be considered desirable. Ragnarok, on the other hand, was laughing. "Finally!" he said. "I knew you couldn't be completely useless. Now go to sleep or something, I don't want you bothering me any more."
He vanished, and Crona lay down obediently. They didn't expect to get any sleep, though, not while they still remembered the feeling of Ragnarok's soul and the lure of power just out of their reach.
Eventually, their mother came back, telling them once again to find Ragnarok's soul. They weren't sure they could deal with that again, at least not so soon, but they showed her their progress anyway. They thought she praised them, though their attention was too split to notice.
All that matter was that she left soon after, leaving behind food and a growing sense of apprehension in the pit of their stomach.
