Chapter Two
Dusk was already falling as I entered our room through the opened window. Alice and I had been out hunting the whole day, and we had done something else, too. Strictly speaking, we had done more something else than hunting in the end.
"I have to change my dress!", I heard Alice's high and always happy voice beside me, but a wave of superficial annoyance overcame me and as I turned around, I immediately saw the reason for it.
With a determined expression on her face she desperately rubbed the hem of her shirt and I saw at once that a not-so-small spot of blood had found its way onto the light blue.
Alice hated it if her clothes weren't perfect or did not fit together and this spot of dried brown obviously didn't match her idea of "perfect". I couldn't help but cast an amused smile, 'cause Alice reminded me of a mixture of the pixie she definitely was, and a fury who was on the verge of attacking her shirt. What I couldn't understand because she wouldn't even wear this shirt again. What she wore today wouldn't be good enough for the next - let's say hundred weeks and then it wouldn't be fashionable anymore and there would be no thinking of wearing it again, anyway.
"Take it as an invitation to dress yourself in something new and beautiful", I tried to cheer her up verbally.
"It's not an invitation but a duty. I can't show up like this anywhere!"
I rolled my eyes and sighed slightly theatrically. As I said, I couldn't understand Alice, so I gave in any-way. You couldn't understand her, only worship the ground she walks on.
"I'll wait in the living room," I murmured and headed towards the door. It wasn't necessary to leave the room, only because my - currently girlfriend, in other times already my wife - wanted to change her top. But since I, or rather we are part of the Cullen family, I got into the habit of granting some privacy, which had been unknown to me for decades.
"Oh oh."
I turned immediately, a bit more hectic than necessary, as I always did when Alice made an anxious sound, no matter what her emotions seemed to display. An old habit that would never die.
But I didn't need to have a special talent to interpret the broad smile that followed the blank expression. " Have fun with Edward," she told me/said mysteriously and pushed me out of the room with both hands, but not without giving me a kiss on my cheek. Moments later I found myself standing in front of a closed door in the corridor.
Not that five inches of wood would be an obstacle to me, but I'd learned that Esme would freak out/would make your life miserable, if you destroyed her house. Sighing I made my way downstairs, knowing that I had no other options left than trying to find the meaning behind Alice's words using the most obvious of tactics: going into the living room and waiting for Edward to find me. If there were no humans watching I could rarely force myself to sit down. Especially not, after I had found out that I would need a quarter of a second longer to reach Alice upstairs, if I had sat on the couch before.
I didn't have to wait long to be found because I nearly bumped into Edward who was standing in the doorframe with his arms crossed, his eyes narrowed and let me participate in his bad mood, friendly as he was.
"As friendly as you are screaming your thoughts at me and at least just as deliberately!", he commented my thoughts, he probably had recorded since Alice had shut the door to make me face my doom alone.
Bad mood?
What a superfluous question.
"How right you are, extremely superfluous!"
His mood was even better than I had expected, virtually beaming.
And since when was I this sarcastic?
"Always!"
A dark, threatening snarl emerged from my throat and without moving, I looked straight into his eyes. Another habit I could barely give up. When I sensed subliminal aggression I was forced to stare at my opponent without a break.
What do you want, Edward?
It had to be something urgent, according to his facial expression and something funny according to Alice's vision. Although it didn't have to be funny only because my pixie laughed about it. Alice laughed about so many things.
For example shopping.
New clothes. I could still hear her saying: "The same shirt in two different colors, that's funny, isn't it?" No.
Bella.
Okay, I could laugh about Bella, too. Every time she wasn't around to witness it and I heard stories about her sporting skills, which only stood out because they were non-existent.
Edward relaxed his shoulders a bit and breathed a sigh of relief. Absolutely superfluous. We need air only to be able to talk.
"I thought Alice had told you already."
Obviously not.
"Good. And bad again, because you simply could have given me an answer."
The relief had disappeared and instead there was - was it possible? - shame. But my senses, even my supernatural one had never fooled me before.
"I just wanted to ask you something."
He had read his own feelings in my mind and tried to suppress them now.
What proved to be difficult because I hadn't met anyone yet who had been able to distort his own feelings without me noticing. Edward, however, was easier to trick. Alice told me to translate the Bible from Hebraic into French in my mind. The problem was that I neither spoke Hebraic nor French. So I had gotten into the habit of reciting every poem and story of Edgar Allan Poe. They served their purpose in keeping me occupied due to the immense amount of blood in them, so that I couldn't think of anything else.
"Only you think so…"
A spiteful grin appeared on Edwards face and he added: "It's essentially more effective if you act like Carlisle. When he translates his last doctoral thesis into Latin, it's at least interesting."
I grumbled and ignored his last comment. I didn't want to think about what he might have seen already.
What did you want to ask?
Enough small talk for today.
"It's about the first night after the wedding, with Bella. And if you laugh, I swear, I'll throw you across the room!"
I highly doubt that you will succeed to do that.
An amused smile appeared on my lips. I did fight with Emmett just for fun, but now, that he mentioned it, I realized that I hadn't had a real fight with Edward. But compared to how easily he treated my taller, literally younger brother, it would be interesting. But I decided that the living room wasn't the right place to prove that, especially considering the time. Carlisle could step into the room every minute now.
"Wise decision."
He returned my stare a bit saucy and still filled up with anger and nervousness.
I won't laugh, promised.
It was easily said, I didn't even know what this all was about yet, but my curiosity was stimulated and let me easily state this promise, even mentally.
"She wants me to … with her … before she changes."
As always, Edward spoke in riddles, or better in gaps, which was pretty good because I was awesome at completing unfinished sentences, in whose production I had a Master myself.
I was silent and waited for him to go on speaking, but all I heard was silence, except from Esme's quiet whistling somewhere in the kitchen, Alice's chuckling upstairs and Emmett's and Rosalie's… no, I really didn't want to hear that!
Where's the question?
He sighed deeply, his shoulders dropping for a moment of resignation.
"Am I the only one who sees a problem in this?"
Apart from the fact that his relationship with Bella actually was a problem since it'd begun and would always be until Bella gave up her mortality, no, I didn't see a problem.
Should I?
"Maybe there is none, that's why I'm asking. I don't know how it's gonna be. How much I'm gonna lose control."
It suddenly dawned on me what it was all about, but due to the irony I saw in this situation, I couldn't help but give a short laugh which I tried to conceal in a growl. But Edward could read minds, he would know that I hadn't laughed at him.
You come to me to ask questions about self-control? I don't see, how I could be of any help.
"Emmett wasn't even able to understand my problem…"
Okay, so I was second choice, should it comfort me or make me angry?
"I just want to know, how strong this feeling will be."
Very strong.
Simple questions need to be answered simply. Or should I add something explanatory? But much more important was the question why he didn't know. Well, I had never seen him flirt with anyone, not even for fun.
His teeth crushed together and his sudden anxiety hit me like a punch in my face. If I were him I would have declared a state of emergency, but I wasn't. I wouldn't even have managed to kiss a human without wanting to rip it into pieces. To say nothing of the fact that he'd seen Bella bleeding more than once. The fact that she was still alive said something for his control.
He nodded weakly, because he had followed my thoughts, but he didn't seem to be convinced of my thesis that he would manage it somehow. And I couldn't blame him for that. Strictly speaking I was very happy that Alice wasn't as fragile as she looked. On the contrary.
For example I had to think of this afternoon and of the trees that now decorated the forest soil as firewood. Alice could be such a beast if she wanted to. Luckily she wanted to very often, 'cause I love the little beast…
"STOP IT!"
Edward nearly jumped at me as he shouted. He could count himself lucky because I would guarantee for nothing when someone attacked me like this.
"It is worse enough to know how often Alice thinks of it. I have no wish whatsoever to hear it from you, too!" His eyes sparkled in dark anger and for a moment I got the impression of a little boy, who put his hands over his ears if he didn't want to hear something.
"I wish it would be that easy…"
I had to admit that it would also drive me crazy if I had to hear the love life of the rest of my family. It was already bad enough if Emmett and Rose, who shared of all rooms the one next to ours, could hardly wait to wait… I was cursed with this extraordinary hearing, to say nothing of having to hurry away in order to not lose control over my urges when seeing one of Alice's pixie movements.
I hated feeling what others felt, but I admitted that Alice could be very inspiring when we had sex.
And she insisted that it would be essentially more relaxing, if Emmett and Rose…
"Didn't I make myself clear enough?" Anger interrupted my thoughts, so strong that I nearly bared my teeth.
"I didn't want to know what you are doing, I just wanted to know what's the probability of killing Bella. Just to consider if I should rather break my promise in this exceptional case."
Wow, Edward hadn't said so much to me at once for a while now.
I think, you'll manage to bring her back from your honeymoon alive, I tried to comfort him and decided to calm down his excitement, too.
Because I wasn't as sure as I pretended to be.
When I thought of Alice, and how I crashed her into that tree…
"Jasper!" a growling and teeth-gnashing filled the room and I thought for the first time that Edward really sounded like a vampire and not only like a beefing teenager who tried to sound threatening.
"At least you didn't laugh" he murmured strained as he passed by me and disappeared into Carlisle's office, obviously to wait for him.
As soon as he had closed the door, Alice pranced twinkle-toed downstairs and was completely new dressed - she'd only wanted to change her top.
"I didn't find a shirt that matched my pants." she defended herself and took my hand to pull me towards the couch.
"You wore jeans." I tried to raise just one eyebrow, but that wasn't one of my strong suits so I just gave her a questioning look.
"But they matched nothing, Jazz, you don't understand that!"
And she was right, as always, I didn't even understand her!
