Chapter 2:
~I Don't Love You Anymore~
Song sung: by Travis Tritt
Written by: Jill Colucci and Travis Tritt
Months later…
He was done watching this happen day after day, so he decided there was one way to handle the situation. Riling up his longtime friend was always one of Louie Provenza's favorite pastimes. Holding back a smile at his brilliant idea, he gruffly asked, "What are you still doing here, Flynn? You are just being a glorified desk monkey. Who knows if they will ever put you back in the field? Why not just take the medical retirement or go home and rest or take a much-needed vacation? You sure look like you need one, even though if you ask me, you just got back from one."
It took Andy a few seconds to reply to his old partner. Provenza was now training that new kid Nelson in how to get by with doing a little as possible and taking all the credit. "Yes, we all know you think a lovely stay in a hospital should be counted as a vacation."
Provenza pointed his finger at him and nodded in agreement. He then asked, "Well you weren't at work were you? So as I see it, it was a vacation!"
Andy ignored Louie's tantrum like he usually did and answered his first question. "Do you really want or need to know why I am still here? It's certainly not the pleasant company that keeps me coming back."
"E'gad. Seriously, Flynn if you're still not over the woman, make her listen. Do you really think she tells you everything?" Provenza patted Andy on the shoulder as he said, "I guarantee that Raydor has her own secrets she hasn't shared with anyone."
"Of course she does. We all do, but by keeping my health problems a secret from her time and time again I broke the trust she had in me." Andy rubbed his hand across his face, "Louie, I don't think I can ever get that back."
Provenza felt bad for his friend. In the beginning of all this he was sure his idiot friend would mess things up by dating their captain, but over time he saw how much they really did care for each other and thought it was going to work. He wanted Flynn to be happy after all they had been through together. "You never know if you sit here chained to your desk looking like a lost little puppy."
"It's the only way I get to see her at all. That is when Sharon dares to venture into Major Crimes anymore." Andy looked up at his new boss and smirked as he said, "with the way you are running this place you'll run it into the ground soon enough and there won't be a division left for her to check up on."
He held a hand up and looked offended, "Hey, it's not my fault they have too much useless paperwork and so many unnecessary rules to follow. It was about time they put me in charge of the division, I've practically been running it for over twelve years. I think Captain Provenza has a nice ring to it. Don't you? Really, Flynn, you need to make her talk to you."
Andy groaned at hearing him call himself Captain Provenza. The team heard it over and over throughout the day. Even Julio was done snickering about it, Mike took to rolling his eyes every time he heard Louie use the title. Andy was sure Tao must have a constant headache from the action. "Are you the one I should be taking relationship advice from? No, this has to be her decision and hers alone."
"Yeah, yeah, yeah I get that but there's no reason why you can't help her come to that decision sooner than later. For all our sakes do something before Darth Raydor has every cop in this building running scared of that death stare of hers and not wanting her wrath to fall on them." To give Flynn time to let what he said sink into that thick head of his, Provenza turned away for Andy's desk and headed for his office, that he had for just over a month, shutting the door with a thud.
A week later after his doctor's appointment, Andy sent an email to Sharon of his latest write up from his doctor and all the issues health wise he had experienced that week. Right down to the ache he felt in his left ankle when he rolled it going up the stairs, which ironically he was using more often to get back into shape. They might not be together anymore by no choice of his, but he wanted to show Sharon everything that was happening with his health. It was his way of being open about everything. Maybe if she saw that he was fine she would… Andy's thoughts stop he really didn't know what Sharon would do anymore. He used to know her very well but since he hurt her so badly, now he wasn't sure of anything involving her.
When he didn't hear anything from Sharon even after sending her weekly health updates. Andy couldn't take this indifference anymore. He had to tell Sharon what he was feeling, whether she liked it or not. Pushing back from his desk with such force his chair rolled hard into the office wall that once was Sharon's. He ignored the looks the bang of his sudden movements caused. Andy stretched his neck to both sides then straightened his jacket sleeves and stalked out of the murder room. He was in such a hurry that he missed his boss mutter, "well, it's about damn time. If this works out maybe now she will put her broomstick away for good."
Andy had a destination in his head and nothing was going to stop him now. At this point, he didn't care that they were at work. It would go against all Sharon's precious rules but the majority of their lives happened in this building and he knew she wasn't ready if ever to have him over to her condo. So in Andy's mind, it worked out that this was all her fault and if she wasn't happy about it, then she could only blame herself.
After yanking open the glass door that led to her new office, Andy held his hand up to the receptionist that was about to protest to him not having an appointment with the all and powerful Oz. He smirked at his internal joke. Can one woman be the Wizard of Oz and the Wicked Witch rolled into one persona? If that person is Captain… no, he corrected himself… if that person is Assistant Chief Raydor they can.
He watched her head jerk up as he let himself into her large office. When Sharon realized it was him she quickly looked back down to her reports. In her best don't bother me tone she said, "Andy, this isn't a good time."
Coldly he said, "Don't worry Chief, this will only take a moment." He walked around her desk and stood next to her chair. Andy was wondering how long it was going to take for her to look at him. Maybe this will be easier if she didn't look at him he thought, but he waited a heartbeat or two, and then finally gave up. As he figured it, he had two choices, leave without telling her or he could go for it. Andy chose the latter and went for it. "Sharon, I can't…" the words stuck in his throat. The pressure of them actually hurt, it was hard for him to breathe. It took all the willpower he had to swallow back the emotions that were building up in him. He forced himself to take a deep cleansing breath before trying again. He cleared his throat, "Sharon, you might not want to hear this, but I can't hide the way I feel about you anymore. I can't hold the hurt inside, keep the pain out of my eyes anymore. My tears no longer waiting, my resistance ain't that strong. My mind keeps recreating a life with you alone and…"
Andy closed his eyes. Sharon still hadn't bothered to look at him. He was somewhere between frustrated and angry with this woman, but he had come this far so he might as well get out all that he was feeling. He let his tangled frustrations coursing through him to use the hand he had been leaning on to take ahold of the arm of her chair. He spun it towards him to make her face him. The shock of the move made her look up. When their eyes connected, he finished what he wanted to confess, "and I'm tired of pretending I don't love you anymore." Andy reached out and lightly held her cheek, stroking the soft skin with the pad of his thumb, "let me make one last appeal to show you how I feel about you. 'Cause there's no one else I swear that holds a candle anywhere next to you. My heart can't take the beating, not having you to hold." His thumb traced a line to her lips and followed the fullness of them. He leaned closer to her, nosing aside the hair near her ear. He was sure he heard a moan from Sharon as he pushed the tresses away. Andy told her in a whisper, "A small voice keeps repeating deep inside my soul, it says I can't keep pretending I don't love you anymore. I've got to take the chance or let it pass by if I expect to get on with my life." With his hand on her chin, he placed a kiss on her cheek and stood up. The silence in her office was overwhelming as they stared at each other.
After the realization that she wasn't going to acknowledge anything he just said, Andy shook his head slowly and gave her a disbelieving smirk. It was going to be as he assumed, Sharon Raydor was too set in her ways to let him in. She had walked away from him that day in the hospital, she had made up her mind and for her, that was that. He just had to accept the fact that this wasn't going to work out between them. Andy walked to the door, with his hand on the handle but not turning around he quietly said, "I had to tell you how I feel. Know I love you and I always will, Assistant Chief."
~TBC~
A thank you for the follows, favorites, and also thank you for the reviews on the first chapter. They really are greatly appreciated.
