Hey, hey, hey! Here's chapter two, with Captain Falcon and Snake being perverts!

When the Smashers got back to the Mansion, the girls hit the showers. Sonic, deciding to take one later, ran off to his favorite spot in the Mansion: the garden.

Out of all the places in the mansion, this was the only one that reminded him of home: the blue sky, the green grass, the streams with crystal blue water. All it needed was Uncle Chuck's chili dog stand and it would be perfect. Sonic sighed: too bad that wasn't there.

Oh, well. It was still nice.

He sat on the grass, underneath a shady tree and sighed happily. This was the kind of day that made a guy feel better. Well, not that he was feeling bad in the first place. He simply sat there, remembering the good ol' days.

He opened his eyes and surveyed the rest of the garden: Meta Knight and Jigglypuff were having a picnic, whispering sweet nothings to each other. Well, Meta did the most whispering, Jiggly just giggled at it. Toon Link was sitting by the pond, sailing a small model ship. Lucario was standing on top of a tree, meditating. And Pokemon trainer was being punched in the face for trying to catch Mewtwo. Sucks to be him.

But, two other people in the garden were out of sight, hiding behind the tree that Sonic was sitting under. Captain Falcon and Solid Snake were on the other side of the thick trunk, chuckling about something. Sonic didn't mean to here it; really, he didn't. But he heard their words anyway, and they made his blood boil.

"Did you see that Zero Suit?" asked Falcon's voice.

"Yes. The damn thing is tighter than latex!" joked Snake, chuckling in his raspy voice.

Sonic listened quietly. Who were they talking about?

"Yeah," Captain Falcon added. "That Samus Aran is one hot mama."

Sonic's eyes narrowed. They were talking about Samus!

"So, anyway," asked Cap, "did you get what you said you'd get?"

"Yeah, the camera just took them." Sonic peered behind the tree quietly and saw Snake pull out a small device that looked like a mini-computer. The agent pressed a few buttons and then an image came up on the screen. Sonic's eyes bulged; it was a picture of Samus, in the shower, naked. Sonic could not believe it. Snake was an agent for some government, and he was using his equipment for spying on young women? And Captain Falcon was at least 40. And Master Hand recruited these guys? Ever heard of a background check?

Well, no matter. No one was spying on his... friend.

An idea sprang into Sonic's mind. As always, it involved speed. Quietly, he moved into position, and then, he ran, swirling around around both of the pervs, creating a small vortex. The vortex carried both screaming men to the center of the garden, and ripped the device out of Snake's hand. When the vortex, and Sonic, departed, both men were stripped down to their underwear. In the very middle of the garden, where everyone could see them!

Everyone stopped what they were doing and stared at the two half-naked men silently, until Mewtwo, his fist positioned right over Pokemon Trainer's face, broke the silence: "Ugh. Get a tan."

After that remark, everyone burst out laughing, and Snake and Falcon retreated inside, humiliated. As they ran inside, they ran past Zelda and Peach, who had just gotten out of the showers.

Both girls looked at each other, blushing slightly. Well, that was awkward. They both looked at Sonic, who was crushing Snake's device with his foot. "What was that all about?" asked Peach.

Sonic shrugged, slamming his foot down once more. "Oh, nothing."


The first stage of Sonic's plan was complete. They couldn't spy on Samus with their device anymore. Now, all he had to do was wait until Samus got out of the shower, so he could find and remove the bug, preventing them from trying againg. That meant he had to wait in the incredibly awkward girl's shower room. He waited impatiently for Samus to leave. When she did, she was clad in a blue bathrobe. Her hair was wet and shiny, her skin was still slightly damp, and she was humming a song that Sonic had never heard before. When she departed from the girl's shower room and shut the door behind her, he ran in as quietly as possible and searched for the camera.

Thankfully, Sonic had a little experience with bugs: Uncle Chuck had built dozens of them and showed him how they worked when he was younger, and ol' Eggman had tried a couple of bugs back in the day. And judging by the fact that they could see Samus' boo- er, frontside, his best guess was on the shower nozzle itself. After finding the bug, which was silver in color, so it could blend in, Sonic removed it and prepared to make his escape.

He tip-toed to the door, but paused when he heard footsteps in the hall. Someone was coming!

Sonic panicked. If someone found out that he was there, he could get into some serious trouble.

He jumped into a shower stall and closed the curtains.

He hear a voice from the hall, and it was not someone he wanted to see him there: Samus. "Aright! I'm coming!" she shouted, opening the door to shower room. "Just let me grab my shampoo! I left it in the shower!"

Sonic clutched his chest. He looked at the shower rack and saw a small bottle of blue, crystalinne looking shampoo that was devoid of any label but some strange symbols that Sonic couldn't understand. Alien shampoo? Well, whatever it was, he had the strangest feeling it belonged to Samus. Thinking fast (like always) Sonic turned on the shower. Sadly, he turned on the cold water. Thankfully, he managed to not scream.

The footsteps came closer and Samus' voice came into his ears. "Hey. I have some hair soap in there, can ya hand it to me?"

"Um, sure!" said Sonic, hightening his voice to a falsetto. He handed the shampoo out and retreated his hand quickly.

"Thanks," said Samus' voice. Sonic waited for her to leave the shower room, before running to the boy's shower room, eager to wash away the embarresment.

Today had certainly been interesting day.


Author's note: Samus has alien shampoo!