Chapter 2 – The Last Goodbye
This
is our last goodbye
I hate to feel the love between us die
But
it's over
Just hear this and then I'll go
You gave me more
to live for
More than you'll ever know…
He stirred at the cell phone for a moment that seemed like an eternity before he slowly closed it and laid it on the table beside him in the pool house. His hands were slightly trembling and his heart was still pounding, only starting to get back to the normal beating as he could feel a slight relief come over him and replacing the sickening butterflies in his stomach.
He took a deep breath and ruffled through his sandy blond hair. His eyes were glued to the phone as he thought over the phone conversation and the words that had been said. They seemed to be stuck in his head, like a sad song put on repeat.
This was it. After all the things he and Marissa had been through, they had reached their limit of how much they could take. In between of all the love, passion, tears and not to mention blood, they had lost each other along the way and drifted apart in the way of dealing with all the trouble that came along their way. Their love had never been easy and it certainly had never been a victory march, but it had been real and good.
For the first time in his life Ryan Atwood had loved somebody and gotten love in return. That had been a new experience for him. Actually it had been a new experience just to have a real, long lasting relationship. Before Marissa he had never had a girlfriend. He didn't do girlfriends, or well that's exactly what he did, but he didn't do the whole exclusive relationship thing.
Well there had been Theresa, but she had kind of always just been there whenever he had needed somebody. She had just been the girl next door. And beside they and been more on and off then he had been with Marissa, which was a couple of times too much.
Ryan let his eyes go off the cell phone and glanced through the glass in the pool house. He slowly sat down at the bed as he gazed out, remembering the very first time he saw Marissa. She was standing in the driveway like a perfect princess. Every little thing about her was simply perfect; her long, golden hair, her lovely warm smile, her great slender model-like body and her well-fitting-expensive designer clothes. Every little thing about her was simply perfect, except for one thing. Her eyes. When his own eyes met her stunning blue eyes, he saw misery. In that moment that their eyes met, they connected in way Ryan never thought was even possible. Despite the fact that they were from to completely different worlds, they had something in common. What they had in common was love.
All that they wanted was to be loved for the person they really were, for somebody to see beyond their appearance on the outside, and to get recognition for what they were on the inside.
The rain started to pour down making a loud drumming on the roof to the pool house. Ryan watched the raindrops pouring down and how it streamed down the window glass. The sky was grey and sad like him. It wasn't easy to let Marissa go. But he had to. It was for the best for the both of them. They had come to a point where they had gone through so much that they couldn't bring anything new to each other that would do them good. The final test to their relationship had begun when Ryan's brother, Trey had arrived to Newport, eager to get a new start like his brother. Only Trey had some more difficulties to adjust to his new life and had ruined his chances.
Ryan clenched his fists as he thought about his brother. He had to mess with the one thing he'd appreciated most in his life. He had to go after Marissa and of course he had ended up not listening to her. Her attempt to stop him and her "no" hadn't reached through to him and he would have raped her if Ryan hadn't come in time to save her. Later that night the roles were switched when Marissa had to save Ryan from beating up his own brother, by pulling the trigger and shot Trey.
Ryan could see the scenes play in slow motion behind his closed eyes and his heartbeat increased. It was dark short clips playing over in his mind about he was on top of Trey punching him, but then Trey got the hold of him and a broken bottle. Then it got black for a while for Ryan until he could see Marissa standing in the doorway and the next thing he knew, she had a gun in her hands and her finger was trembling on the trigger ready to let go and release the bullet.
The rain got heavier and the drumming on the roof was getting louder and more intense. The sky was dark and grey, but lit suddenly up in a lightning followed by a loud thunder. The thunder made Ryan jump of the bed and pulled him out of the trance. He could feel his heart pounding intensely and he took a deep breath trying to calm down. He walked over to the window and looked out on the rain. He knew that he and Marissa both had changed since their first meeting and they both was scared after the shooting.
But he also when he thought about Marissa he knew he would always remember her as the beautiful perfect girl that seemed so out if league for him, but still in so need to be rescued and seen by him.
He just knew that right now he couldn't save Marissa; he had to save himself first. And that meant to let Marissa go for a while… She had brought so much into his life, both good and bad, but now they only tiered the things they apart and the sparks between them wasn't strong enough.
Still he knew that Marissa Cooper had bin his first love and he would always love her.
