A/N: I know I said that this would be a four or five-shot, but I think that I'm going to stop it at 3 :) The next will be the epilogue, so! Anyway, thanks for your views/replies/favs/follows and all those things, you're rather lovely.
Disclaimer: Own or not own, that's the question.
She still had her moments of loneliness, and she enjoyed them. The silence of her old room, her king-sized bed, a bottle of Pinot Grigio (that brought of her mind some happy memories, some of the happiest moments of her life, in fact) and her old diary. She smiled while she was reading it, because she stopped writing when she talked with the doctors, some years ago, and when she was arriving to the end of that little story of her life (her auto-biography) a name filled all the last pages. Emily, Emily Fitch. She smiled nostalgically, passing her fingerprints throught her old hand-writing and remembering the feelings that she used to had and she hold in the deepest of her heart. Naomi was so absorted that she did not noticed the throaty clearing of the person who was watching her from the door.
"Uh... hi, Mum." She said, smiling. She liked to give her mother wide smiles because she didn't do it when she was younger and she regretted it so much. That hippie woman was incredible, she just discovered that a little bit late. "I thought you were shopping."
The oldest woman nodded. "OH yes, honey, I was. Three hours ago, exactly, and now I've made our dinner, do some cleaning..." Gina smiled. She liked so much, having Naomi there, and it seemed that the blonde was so relaxed in her old room that she didn't realize that the afternoon had flown by. "By the way, where are your friends?"
"OH, they told me that they had some things to do and that maybe they weren't going to arrive to the dinner, but Cook pointed that if you did your special bolognese pasta, he would taste some..."
Gina laughed, shaking her head. "It seems that he's a lucky bastard... come on sweetheart, can you set the table while I finish the mixing?"
Naomi stood up and suddenly, she kissed her mother's cheek because she felt like doing it.
Her mother smiled, resting her body on the door. "That's my little girl." She murmured, closing her eyes and feeling so happy.
[...]
Effy sat on that table, grabbing a pint of beer and smiling, because she was going to do something that she did so many times in all her years. Naomi didn't even know, and maybe it was easier that she didn't. When she listened footsteps, she stared to the door, seeing those two girls walking towards her, and her smile was bigger.
She missed them. Naomi didn't ever knew but she couldn't lose the touch with them, because they were the Fitch twins, the awesome, lovely and thrilling twins.
She learned to love them, with their good and not so good things and with their twins shit: they were worth it. When she stood up and Katie and Emily hugged her, smiling, she felt quite good. "You look so good." Said the tallest girl, with honesty, because she thought it, and Katie laughed, replying her.
"Babes, we look amazing. The three of us." Effy had to smile because Katie never lost her touch, her kinky personality, and she loved it. They sat, and after asking the waitress of that pub what they wanted (alcohol, mostly) they started to talk about everything. During that year, Effy and Naomi travelled together around the world, sometimes accompanied by Cook, and the twins didn't have the opportunity to see their friend in half a year.
Effy told them stories about their trips to Italy, Egypt, India... they had such a good time, her best friend and her, that was sure (and the twins envied them a little, in a sane way) because the blonde needed it, and after seeing her close to the death, Effy couldn't deny her anything. She smiled, thinking in the way she used to be when she was younger, with all that 'I don't give a fuck' attitude. In some ways, Naomi saved her, and Effy became a real girl, with needs, preoccupations and cares, as everyone.
The youngest twin couldn't help but smile, thinking that at least, Naomi had been happy being around the world. She missed her, in fact, the firsts months without her blonde were shit, but she learned to miss the memories of her. Obviously, the twins knew ALL the story about Naomi illness, but if the blonde didn't want to share it with them, they could respect it.
Emily learnt to live without her, but that didn't mean that she didn't love her anymore (in fact, she never stopped doing it).
Katie didn't give a shit, at first, because she wasn't close to Naomi. When she started to see Emily losing all her bright, she worried, in fact, the same day Emily knew that Naomi was having 'that', she went straight to her sister and she told her something bigger, something she buried inside her mind for a while.
'I'm gay, Katie.' That was all. Katie didn't yell at her, Katie didn't tell her that she was stupid because she knew about Naomi's state some days before Emily knew nothing about it. She couldn't blame her sister to love that blonde girl, because that things happen. Seeing Emily suffering so much about her, made Katie relax a little and loose the pace. Emily needed a break and after all, Katie loved her sister more than even her own life.
So many years after that moment, they were in front of Effy Stonem, the only person who Naomi let in completely. The blue-eyed girl always tried to answer their questions with honesty (specially, Emily ones).
It was clear that Emily and Naomi missed to be around each other, but Effy couldn't bring her to that meeting without saying anything. Her blonde friend would have freaked out about it, so Effy was going to lie her a little: she's going to tell Naomi that she's met the twins randomly in a pub and they decided to recatch (and what a lie, because Emily and Katie knew everything about Effy's life and vice versa).
Emily tipped her fingertips in the table. She was nervous, fuck... almost seven years without seeing each other, and Katie grabbed her hands, squeezing it because she could feel the nerves of her twin.
When Effy showed them a picture taken 3 months ago, in Spain and the twins saw Naomi... Katie opened her mouth, surprised. "F-Fuck's sake..."
She was so skinnier and paler, her hair was short and blonde. She seemed sick, but Emily, grabbing the picture, had to smile.
"She looks beautiful, isn't she?" Said Effy, smiling. Emily nodded, passing her thumb through the border of the photography. Emily agreed with Effy. Even looking paler and skinnier, Naomi was the most beautiful girl she'd ever seen. "Are you free, this week? I don't know if Naomi was going to stand, being here..."
"Bristol isn't that bad." Said Katie, shrugging.
Effy nodded, taking a sip of her beer and she continued talking. "She just remembers everything, do you know? Roundview, her friends... and then, the moment when the doctors told her that she was ill. She's been clean of cancer a year and a half and she doesn't want to be here."
Emily's little body shuddered when she listened that word. She stared at the floor, and Effy looked at her. "Ems..."
"I-I'm fine." She murmured. "It's just..."
"I understand you, everytime I say that word..."
Emily couldn't help but think that Naomi didn't deserve that, that anyone deserved that at all. Katie smiled, trying to light the mood. "She made me catch the first train when she listened that you, well, the both of you are going to be here."
The littlest twin nodded. She finished her studies of photography a couple of years before and she was living with her sister in London, trying to find a job. Everytime she thought that she was living near Naomi and Effy and at the same time she was so far away... Katie helped her, but the truth was that since Emily knew about Naomi's problem, she couldn't think in another person. Once, she went to the hospital without telling anyone, but when she was two doors down from Naomi's room, she turned around and began walking toward the exit of the hospital, with tears in her eyes. She wanted to see her with all her forces but she couldn't.
Emily saw Effy grabbing her mobile phone and murmuring a 'fuck it' and then, she started to talk with someone. By her words, Emily could guess that she was talking with Cook. When she hung up, she looked to the twins. "I hope you don't be in a hurry."
Katie raised an eyebrow. "Why?"
And the brunette girl smiled, drinking her beer. "Because Cook is going to bring her. Here."
Emily hated thr butterflies flying freely around her stomach, she wanted to fight them when she was a fucking teenager, but she never could.
She didn't know if someday she would be able to fight them.
[...]
"Where are we going, mate?" She said, walking through that streets that brought to her mind old memories. She looked at the shop windows, the labels... she tried to remember if when she was young, the streets had the same shops, but she couldn't.
Cook hugged her shoulder, smiling and smoking his cigarette. "Aww, it's a surprise, blondie. You're going to like it, promise." Naomi shrugged. She wasn't sure about it, but well, she couldn't avoid everything and if Cook said that she was going to like it, she was going to be there (besides, she loved her old room but sometimes she needed the cold air passing through her hair). "I've seen my brother." He confessed, throwing the fag to the floor, and Naomi looked at him.
"Are you OK?" Asked the blonde, interessed about that. Cook never talked so much about his family, but Naomi knew that in the deep of his heart, Cook loved his little brother to bits. He nodded, smiling, and Naomi rubbed her shoulder in a friendly way.
"He has grown so much..." He said nostalgically and Naomi started to laugh. "Oi! Don't have a laught about it, blondie!"
"You've became a sappy bastard." Mumbled Naomi, smiling and shaking her head and Cook grinned, hugging her waist.
"Yeah..." He said, so sure. "You love me anyway."
She obviously did.
Some minutes later, they arrived to the pub's door and Naomi raised an eyebrow, recognizing that place. When they were young and they started doing things like smoking or drinking, that pub was one of their favourite places. The blonde swallowed hard, sighing and Cook put his hands on her shoulder. "Easy, babes... you don't have to enter if you don't want to."
Naomi shook her head. "N-No... I think it's time to do it."
Cook nodded, opening the door and the music from inside covered their ears. An alternative-rock band was playing in the stage and Naomi smiled, recognizing the song they were playing. The boy knew that her blonde friend had some issues with Bristol, the place where they grew up, because when she was in a place where she had some good times, she couldn't help but think what could have been her life without cancer. Cook raised her head, trying to find Effy, and when he saw her, he grabbed Naomi's hand. "Come on, blondie." They were dodging people, and when they arrived to the place where the brunette was sitting, there were two other girls at the table.
"Fucking finally." Said Effy, and when the other girls turned around, Naomi freezed. Her mind started to race and she had to grab Cook's hand because she felt like she was going to fall down to the floor. The loud music disappeared, Naomi couldn't listen anything and when she felt an arm hugging her waist, she cleared her throat, and stared to the two girls that were smiling towards her.
"Katie... E-Emily." She murmured, but she couldn't appart her eyes from Emily. She imagined that moment all those years and she was so nervous that she excused herself, going outside. She needed a fag and shaking her head, and she rested her head on the wall, looking at the sky.
She listened the music again and she knew that someone was at her side. "Hey..." She closed her eyes, and when that husky voice started to talk again, she felt it. She looked at her, and Emily smiled, that warm smile that used to turn her crazy. Naomi bitted her lip, she didn't know what the fuck was she going to say, and fortunatelly, Emily talked. "You look nice."
"Don't lie to me." Murmured Naomi, smiling. "I-I look like shit."
Emily shook her head, looking at her eyes. "You've never ever going to look like shit." Naomi blushed and Emily laughed, hugging her. The blonde buried her head in Emily's shoulder and smelling her raspberry scent, she smiled. Fuck, she missed her. She missed her so much, and she said it. "Me too." Replied the smallest girl, without breaking the hug. Naomi couldn't help it anymore, and she started to sob in Emily's arms. "Shhht, it's OK, Naoms." She murmured, and looking at her, she wiped the few tears that had come out of the eyes of Naomi with her thumbs, smiling.
"You must think that I'm a fool." The two old friends laughed, and Emily grabbed Naomi's hand, shaking her head.
"Do you want to go inside?" Said the littlest, without letting Naomi's hand go. The blonde shook her head, throwing the fag to the floor and looking straight to Emily's eyes, she asked her if she wanted to have a walk.
Emily smiled, nodding and thinking that she would go everywhere Naomi wanted to.
[...]
They walked through the city. Emily never let Naomi's hand go, and she enjoyed so much to have her hand intertwined with the blonde's one. They didn't talk, but it wasn't uncomfortable because Naomi was smiling.
Of course the blonde had curiosity, of course she wanted to know everything about Emily's life, but she didn't want to break the moment.
They stopped in a café and they looked through the window. Naomi let scape a huge breath. "Do you want to..."
Emily nodded, smiling. "It would be really lovely."
They entered in the café and they sat in a table, asking for a coffee and some pastries. Emily rubbed Naomi's hand above the table and the blonde blushed, smiling. Naomi thought that it would be awkward, but it wasn't and in fact, she felt happy just being there, just looking at her.
She thought that it was impossible to miss that much a person. She was (obviously) wrong. "H-how's been everything?"
Emily smiled. "Really good, well... I went away for a while and..."
Naomi nodded. "Effy told me that you were doing that photography course you wanted to do."
"Yeah, Katie came with me and then we moved to London, last year."
Naomi raised an eyebrow, smiling. She was living close to the twins, then, and that was good, she thought. "I'm living there, too."
The waitress brought the coffees, and Emily apparted her hand, shily. Naomi couldn't help but smile, when she saw the other girl taking a sip. She was really adorable, Naomi thought.
They talked about everything, but they could feel that they were avoiding one big theme, and Emily started to move her leg, really nervous, because she wanted to ask but she didn't know if it was her place to talk about it.
"Are you OK?" Asked Naomi, looking at her, but Emily was looking outside, with a worried face. Naomi grabbed Emily's hand and the little brunette looked at her. "Emily, talk to me... you know about it, don't you?" Emily nodded, avoiding her look. Naomi sighed, shrugging. "I guess I can't control everything."
"Why didn't you tell me?" Asked Emily, with a mumble.
Naomi looked at her. "What's this, a rebuke or a question?"
"Hey..." said Emily, looking warmly at her. "I'm not scolding you anything, OK? I-I just..."
"I didn't want you to worry about it, Emily." Confessed Naomi, and Emily rubbed her hand.
The little girl continued talking. "And you thought that I wasn't going to worry about you. Really?" She said with disbelief. She obviously was worried about her, since the moment she knew it until the day when Eff told them (the twins) that Naomi was completely recovered.
Naomi sighed, shaking her head and letting a huge breath scape through her lips. "This is what I don't want. T-this... you didn't have to see that, do you know why I told Cook and Effy?"
"Why?" Asked the ex-redhead, then brunette, with a curiosity look. That was one of her thousand questions.
"Because they weren't going to have pity, Ems. They weren't going to treat me as a girl who had such a powerful illness."
Emily stared at the floor. "C-Can you just don't say that?"
"See?" Said Naomi pointing at her with her hand. "How the fuck I was going to tell you if you even can't stand the word cancer?"
Emily frowned her brow. She was angry and she was looking at Naomi, with that look. The blonde looked at the floor, blaming the thing she said... it was unfair. She didn't say it because she didn't want to hurt her, and it seemed that she had done it. "I just want you to know that I would have supported anything for you."
"Sorry if I didn't want to ruin your youth." Said Naomi, sarcastically, and Emily sighed.
"That wasn't your fucking decision." Emily replied, annoyed with Naomi's stubborn mood.
"I think that talking about my health, it does concern me."
They were arguing, and Emily couldn't stand it anymore, so she stood up. "Fuck's sake, Naomi! I loved you! I was so in love with you, you can't say that! Y-You..."
"I fucking loved you two..." said the blonde, with tears in her eyes and with that broken voice. "E-Emily I was trying to protect y-you... I..." she shook her head, standing up and making her way outside that little café. "I am so sorry." She said before disappearing, and Emily just sat down, resting her hand on her forehead and closing her eyes.
She couldn't leave the things in that moment, she didn't know if she was going to see her again (probably, after their argument, Naomi was going to avoid her forever) and she stood up, leaving ten quid on the table and going outside. "Naomi..." She said, looking at the blonde girl who was smoking, resting her body in the wall.
"I-I... do you know what were the first things that I thought when the doctor told me that I had cancer, Emily?" She said slowly, without looking at her. Emily didn't reply, and she continued talking. "That I was going to die without even do the typical things that everybody does when they were young... I wasn't going to drive a car, I wouldn't vote in the elections... all that shit." Naomi said, looking at her and giving her a sad smile. "I wasn't going to bring you to the cinema, or to that Indian restaurant that you loved... I w-wasn't going to ask you if you wanted to be my girlfriend, and I wasn't going to kiss you wherever I wanted to without giving a shit about what the others would think about it. Don't you understand?" She said, almost crying. "I fucking left you because I couldn't stand it."
"Naomi..." Said Emily, shaking her head desperately and cleaning the blonde tears.
"And now look at me..." She said, pointing at her own body with one finger. "I'm a fucking s-skeleton. I'm pathetic, Emily, I'm fucking 23 and this i-is..." Emily couldn't stand it anymore. She grabbed Naomi's cheeks with desperation and she kissed her, fully kissed her, so deep, so intense. When their tongues danced together for the first time on their lifes, Naomi thought that how the fuck could she leave without that. Emily didn't think instead, she hugged the blonde's waist and pressed her forehead with Naomi's one. "W-wow..." Murmured Naomi, impressed, and Emily caressed her cheek.
"You're the most beautiful girl in all the fucking milkyway, have you undestood it?" She said, grabbing Naomi's hand, and the blonde stared at that brown orbs. She nodded, because she knew Emily meant that, and she smiled. "Good. You have to stop blaming yourself, Naomi. God's sake, you're alive... that's all what matters, OK?"
"I truly missed you." Mumbled Naomi, looking at her eyes, and Emily smiled, passing her thumb through Naomi's cheek. They kissed again, and again and again, as if they were 16 another time and they had all the time of their lives in front of their faces. They really had it. Naomi bitted her lip, looking at Emily's brown eyes and she whispered. "Say somethin'"
"I won't let you go again."
Naomi nodded, and Emily kissed her cheek, hugging her. Yeah... the blonde wouldn't let her go, either, and if she could, she never would.
Uhh, I've became a fluff-angsty bitch :(
See you in the epilogue, then.
#MARV.
