Hope the previous chapter made you wanna wait for the next. :) Roy x Riza forever :D
I woke up immediately due to the sun's rays streaming in through my little window beside my bed. I sat up, stretched my arms and let out a yawn. I rubbed my eyes to clear my vision and tossed the sheets aside. I reached for my alarm clock. 7:20 am.
"Oh crap! I'm late!" I flinched as I saw the time. It shook me completely awake. It's unusual for me to get up late. Everyday my body clock would wake me up at exactly 4 am, but today, of all days, it woke me up at past 7.
I stormed inside my bathroom and switched on the shower. I tried to recall what happened last night that caused me to wake up later than usual. I closed my eyes. After a while I finally remembered why. Deep inside, I got excited that I was going out with General. Although it may be sort of against the military law, it won't exactly be violated unless there was love affection involved between us.
I looked down at my feet. The faint sounds of water dripping on my body and on the floor echoed in the whole bathroom.
"What is this feeling?" I whispered to myself, clutching my chest. My heart was racing. I'm not really sure myself as to why it was happening. Why did my heart race when I thought of General and I not having any special relations with each other? Well we do, but it's because of my father. Nothing more than that.
I turned off the tap and dried myself with my towel. I hurriedly dressed up and combed and dried my hair. I went to look at myself in my full body mirror. I chose to wear my usual three-fourths pants and a plain white t-shirt. I also wore combat boots that I'm very comfortable to use. I frowned at myself. What if at least for once, I'll try to wear a dress? I puckered my lips and opened my wardrobe. I took the smooth white dress that I bought last summer. I bought it but, since then I never got the chance to use it. Maybe this is the time.
I removed my clothes and slid into the silky white dress. I let down my hair and placed a clip on the side. I took off the boots and replaced it with my black flats. Unexpectedly, I got carried away with dressing myself up. Before I knew it, I was already about to put foundation on my face. I winced hard and stared at myself in the mirror. I threw the foundation to the side and pulled out my gun.
"WHY THE" bang bang bang bang. "HELL" bang bang bang. "AM I" bang bang bang. "DRESSING UP" bang bang bang bang bang. "FOR HIM?" I caught myself panting hard and already exhausted. "Ah! My mirror!" My eyes grew as I saw my full body mirror in pieces and shards.
I heard some whimpering by my bedroom door. I turned to see what it was. "Ohh Black Hayate, you were here?" I smiled and opened my arms to the little puppy who gladly accepted my hug. "I'm sorry I got carried away." I stroked his back and scratched the back of his ear. At my peripheral vision, I saw an unwanted puddle by the foot of my wardrobe. I was twitching hard.
Black Hayate noticed my dark aura and backed away a distance while he was shivering in fear. I took out my gun once again and..
bang bang bang bang. "That" bang bang bang "is not" bang bang "the proper way" bang bang bang bang bang "to use" bang bang "the toilet!" Bang bang bang. Again, I caught myself panting hard. I tossed my gun on my bed.
"I'm so weird." I buried my face in my palms. "Dressing up for a blind man, using shooting as way of disciplining my dog." I exhaled deeply.
I cleaned up the mess and fixed myself once more. I grabbed the alarm clock to check the time. 8:34 am.
"Crap! Crap crap crap crap crap" I panicked and reloaded my gun and stuffed it inside my bag. I jumped down the whole flight of stairs and kicked open the main door.
General said that the meeting place would be in front of the central hq and we should be there by 8. The trip from my house to the hq would take about 20 minutes.
As soon as I arrived, I saw him patiently waiting inside a car. My heart raced once more. I walked slowly towards him and sighed heavily.
"I've been waiting, First." He smiled.
I glanced at my watch. 8:57 am. "Shut it, I'm just on time." I lied smoothly.
"Then that's good." He nodded. "Get in." General's driver stared the engine. I slid my body inside and sat beside him. My heart raced faster but I kept my composure.
He turned his head towards me. "What are you wearing today, First?"
"A tablecloth with a sash and some room slippers." I lied again.
"Hey, take me seriously." He laughed. "I'm just curious."
"Why is it a need for you to know?" I said irritatingly with a hint of embarrassment.
"I don't know. Maybe you dressed up for me or something?" He teased while chuckling. That struck me hard on the chest. My face flushed red.
For every word, I smacked him with my bag. "I." bam "Did." bam "Not." bam. I hissed those words through my gritted teeth.
He held his hands up in defense. "Okay okay" he chuckled. "I know, I'm just teasing you." He laughed again. "But why does your bag contain something hard and metal? That hurt, you know." He caressed the parts where I hit him.
"Oh I brought my gun." I grinned.
His eyes enlarged at that. "WHY?"
"So I could shoot you if you do something wrong." I said monotonously. "Besides, I can't stay focused without it."
He scratched his head and shook it in disbelief. "You're unbelievable."
"I know you always bring your gloves too." I looked at him. "We're even."
He chuckled. "You got me."
I looked outside the window. "Where are we going anyway?" I asked in curiosity.
"Somewhere I always find peace." He stared off ahead.
I furrowed my eyebrows. Somewhere there's peace? Is there such place here in Amestris?
After a while, the driver kicked the breaks, causing us to fall forward. I immediately grabbed hold of the general's shirt and pulled him backwards.
"I apologize for the sudden break, First Lieutenant and General. But, I have brought you safely here." Said the driver.
"Good thing we're still alive." I muttered then sighed. General accidentally touched my hair that I let down back home.
"You have your hair down, First?" He raised his head to me. I winced and blushed.
"Ah.. Hmn." I nodded. He stroked my hair again. I froze as he was doing it. It felt slightly awkward. My heart was pumping so hard.
"I wish I could see you that way." He muttered sadly. It took my brain 5 seconds before it could function then I pulled back from him.
"Let's go, General." I exited the car and opened the door beside him. I took hold of his arm as he was climbing down. I felt the breeze of the wind and the sun's warmth on my back. "Seriously, General.." I closed the door behind him. "Where are we?" I turned around and it rendered me speechless.
I gasped as I saw the plain stretching out to the horizon. There were several trees all around with about 50 meters apart from one another. The grass below was a full healthy shade of green, while the trees were big and firm. Not so far from where we're standing, there's a wide rectangular flower patch planted with various colors of flowers.
My jaw was completely dropped as I scanned the view. My bag slipped from my hand and fell to the ground. I found myself stepping forward slowly.
"Uhh, First." General cleared his throat. "I know it's pretty breathtaking but.." He fidgeted. "I need support here."
I shook my head vigorously as I cleared my mind. I turned around and went back to General's side. I picked up my bag then he grabbed hold of my left wrist. I winced a little bit at his touch. I lead him farther to the field until the car was almost out of sight.
"Let's stop here." He smiled and sat down, dragging me down as well.
"General, since when was this place here?" I asked.
He breathed. "It's been here for too long. Every time I wanted to clear my mind from my problems, I just go here alone."
I never thought there was such a place here in Amestris.. This is definitely paradise. I looked at him. "You just go here.. Alone? You've never been here with somebody?"
He shook his head. "Well there's this somebody I have always wanted to bring here." He inhaled. My chest suddenly hurt. "I even planned on asking this person properly." I'm starting to not pay attention because I'm feeling so uneasy.
"Did you succeed?" I turned my head away. When he didn't answer, I changed my question. "Is this person a boy or a girl?"
"She's a girl." He sighed. "A girl I knew for a very long time." My chest became very painful. I can't bear to listen any longer, but I still did.
"Then tell her everything you experienced here once you come back. Then next time, bring her here and let her see it for real. I'm sure she'll be delighted to see this wonderful scene." I smiled painfully. "I'll describe what I see right now, then that's what you tell her."
"I- I don't think that describing to her the view would be necessary." He lowered his head.
"Why not?" I asked, confused.
He looked at me. "Because she came here with me."
My world stopped. I caught my breath and stared blankly at him. It took me a lot of time to process his words.
"G-general?" I muttered. I never noticed the tears running down my face. Why am I crying? Why did General's words sounded like symphony? Why did my heart lift when he said he was pertaining to me? I'm so confused.
"Sorry if it was too sudden, First." He hugged his knees and buried his face between them. "I'm scared. You might shoot me with your gun. I did something wrong."
I wiped the tears. "Why is it wrong?" I frowned.
"I'm an organized person, First." He raised his head. "But falling in love isn't something you can plan."
What? Falling in love? He's in love? With whom? Whaat?
"Then, why is it wrong?" I asked again.
"Because in the military, love is forbidden. For the sake of the goodness of all, you must not fall in love." He said bitterly. "I thought I could handle that, but now I realized I couldn't." His voice cracked. I could see tears forming in his eyes.
"Falling in love is not wrong, General. It's right, and it's allowed. But for the military, it's strictly forbidden. But just because it's forbidden doesn't mean it's wrong." I assured him. "And why would I shoot you? You didn't do anything wrong to me." I giggled very softly.
"I did." He said. "I fell in love."
"And what does that have to do with me?" I asked him.
"I fell in love." He repeated. "I fell in love with you, First." A tear fell down his cheek. My heart was beating faster than ever. I felt happy, at the same time sad..
"I'm- I'm not gonna shoot you, General." I said monotonously.
"It hurts." He covered his eyes with his hands. He was sobbing like a child. "It hurts, First. It hurts so much." He sniffed. "It hurts that I fell in love but it's forbidden. And I can't just leave my job."
My heart fell. Is this really happening? I reached out to him and grabbed both his wrists and put them down. He stopped crying and stared at me with his blank eyes. I sat nearer to him then wiped his tears with my fingers.
"The view is great, General." I started describing to him everything I see around me. "The flowers nearby are very colorful and vibrant. The trees are very strong and firm. The grass has a very pure green color and it seems very well maintained." I smiled. "If you look up, you could see the puffy clouds forming. And the sun is shining down on both of us too. That's why, you should return to the sun the smile it brings." he smiled at that. "This is real paradise, general. Thank you for bringing me here."
"Before, I would always come here alone and see and admire its beauty by myself. But now that you're describing it to me, even if I'm blind, somehow the view seemed a hundred times prettier than it ever was." He grinned at the sky.
I felt confused. I don't know if I should also tell him what I feel or not, or if what I'm feeling is real or not. If I confess to him, it will probably be troublesome for both of us and our jobs. If I keep my feelings to myself, I don't know until when I'll be able to hold it in.
I looked at him. I noticed our faces were inches away from each other. "General.." I whispered.
"Hmm?" He turned his head to me.
"I'm.. I'm confused." I sighed. "I don't know why but every time I think about you, my chest starts to hurt. A while ago when you said there was this girl you wanted to take here, I thought my heart was gonna explode. But when I knew it was me you were referring to, I couldn't help but give a cheeky smile." I covered my face with my hands. I felt weird and awkward. "But as I think about it, I love my job too, and it is important to me. And like you, it also hurts.. It pains me to think that falling in love is forbidden." My voice cracked as a tear suddenly streamed down my cheek. I put down my hands to my lap.
"I'm sorry, First. I couldn't take it anymore." He placed both his hands on both sides of my cheeks and leaned in to press his lips to mine. I was taken aback. Should I or should I not push him away? Why do I have to fight with my own conscience? Which one should I follow? My mind or my heart? My mind tells me to let go, for the sake of our job. My heart says to let him be and kiss him back. He chose his heart, should I also do the same?
A tear fell from my eye once more. He felt it and pulled back slightly. "First, what's wrong? Why are you crying?" He stroked my cheek, wiping away the tear.
"I couldn't hold back as well." I sniffed. "I'm fighting with my own conscience. I'm so confused, General. I don't know what to do." I tugged on his shirt and gripped it tight.
"We'll fight it together. Is that okay with you?" He murmured. I placed a hand on his and pressed it against my face.
"What's with this embarrassing conversation?" I chuckled while tears continued to stream down. "I'll shoot you later, I swear. You'll receive punishment for making me immortalize my tears in front of you." I whispered to him with a hint of threat.
"Should I burn them away?" He laughed. "I brought my gloves, right?" We laughed together.
Without warning, he kissed me again. I pulled back slightly with shock. "Woah there. Hey hey hey what was the second one for?"
"I just felt like it." He said honestly.
I suddenly stood up and ran to the flower patches, leaving him behind.
"Hey! Where did you go?" He bellowed from afar.
"Somewhere you'll never find me!" I bellowed back then I laughed. I lied down on the bed of flowers and stared up at the sky. Everything seems very peaceful. I felt guilty about leaving the blind man behind but, he deserved it. He kissed me without warning so I left him there. He should be thankful I didn't pull out my gun. I grinned to myself and closed my eyes.
After a while, my eyes shot open when I felt a flower stem slide through the top of my ear. I saw eyes gazing down on me. He was sitting just near the top of my head and crouched down to my face. How is this even possible?! In just a short time?
I sat up abruptly, causing our foreheads to bump hard. "Ah! Ouch. Why in the world would you suddenly sit up like that?" He groaned in pain, clutching his forehead.
I clutched mine as well. "Well it's your fault for sneaking up on me like that- ouch." I sighed. "Anyway, how did you find me in such a short time?"
"I just thought of where you might head to, then I placed myself in your shoes. I just know that you might direct to the flowers so I tried to smell the scent of flowers and true enough, I found you lying here." He said proudly.
"Well, whatever." I breathed. "And what is this flower that you placed on my ear?"
"A violet." He said. "I smelled the smell of violets and I thought it might suit you. Violets are blue, aren't they? They match the color yellow, which is also the color of your hair." He tucked my hair behind my ear to give enhancement to the little blue flower. Again, like back at the car, he stroked my hair. He was frowning as he was doing it.
"Is... There something wrong?" I asked. He lowered his head so much that I could only see the top of his head in front of me. "General, what's wrong?" I was shaking his shoulders. Slowly he looked up, tears were streaming down his face again. "G-general?"
He held my hand with his right, his left on his eyes to suppress the tears. "I can't..." He shook his head.
"You can't what?" I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion.
"I can't.. I can't see you.." He sobbed. "I want to see you, First. I want to see you so bad.. So so bad it hurts.." He sobbed harder. "I want to see you smile. I want to see you laugh. Everything. I just.. I just want to see you so desperately.."
My heart fell so hard. He gripped my hand tight as he expressed his feelings. "I wouldn't even mind if I wouldn't be able to see the world.. But if I would also lose the sight to see you then... I wouldn't be able to take it.." He sighed. "Hearing you, feeling you and smelling you is not enough, First." He shook his head.
I let go of his hand and hugged him. It felt awkward but I still did. I'm really not the hugging type of person but this time is just an exception. "It's not something to be sad about, General." I assured him. "You may not see me, but as long as you know that I'm here then that's enough, right?" I patted his back. He returned my embrace. "Be strong. You're General Roy Mustang. You're a leader. You've said this before, 'my fall is their fall', right? Then show them how strong you can be. Things like these can't bring you down. This is the time where you can prove to them what you can do, and that you have achieved more things than people who have no obstacles have."
He pulled back then nodded. "Hmn. You're right, First." He paused and hesitated. "But.. Does it also mean that I'm picking my job over my feelings?"
I stared at him. "The answer relies on you now. It's up to you which road will you choose." That line left a bitter taste on my mouth.
"Will you.. Grant me a favor?" He pleaded.
"What is it?"
"Could we just have a deal instead?" He breathed. "Like during our job, we won't be like this especially in front of others. But if we're by ourselves, can it still be possible to be close to you like this?"
I blinked twice. "You do know that if that were to happen, sooner or later someone will definitely find out."
"But as long as someone hasn't found it out yet, then it's still safe, right?" He smiled, hoping.
Again, I'm confused. I don't know what to answer. "But, general.. It's still violating the rules, right? It's the same as hiding from it."
"Well I can't just simply choose one over the other." He said. "Can you?"
I winced. "N-no."
"See?" His face was smug. "Then it's settled. We'll go through with my deal."
"By the time we're find out, I'll put all the blame on you." I slitted my eyes at him.
"Fine by me." He smiled. "Anyway, don't run away again, please."
"Huh? Why not?" I looked at him in confusion.
"Because," he pulled and kissed me again. "I feel like doing this again."
I twitched and threatened him with my gun. He heard the gun click and he backed off immediately. "You dare.." I pointed my gun at his face. "You really dare.." I glared at him.
"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" He raised his hands up in defense. "You can't just point your gun at your general, right?"
I showed an evil grin. "Ho... And you can't just suddenly kiss your subordinate, right Mr. General?" I thrusted my gun on his left chest.
He held my wrist and pushed it down carefully. "Wouldn't there even be a time when you would allow me to do that to you?" He frowned.
"Oh shut up." I took my bag and stuffed my gun back inside my bag. I turned my back from him, not wanting to see his face somehow.
"The first time I kissed you, you didn't push me away." He shifted himself forward and hugged me from behind.
"Since when were you the flirty type?" I asked monotonously while fixing the insides of my bag. He leaned his head forward on my shoulder as he clasped his fingers together. He remained quiet.
"General," I sighed. "You should know that this is one of the most awkward experiences I've had ever since I was born." Still, he stayed silent. This guy makes me want to pull my gun out again.. "General!" I shouted and he flinched.
"What? Wha- huh?" He said in shock. SO... he was sleeping. "I'm sorry, First. It's just that I feel so calm and happy right now. Just minutes ago, we were both crying- especially me. But right now I suddenly felt happy and also, I felt calm when I hugged you." He yawned.
"You're like a child." I finally smiled. I held onto his arms that were circled around me.
It took us until the sun sets before we could even consider going back.
"General, it's already sunset." I whispered.
"Aaah, I wish I could see it too." He breathed.
"Let's go." I released myself from his arms and stood up. Somehow I felt sad about leaving the place.
"I really don't want to leave yet." He said. I looked down at him. He was staring at the direction of the sun setting.
"Why not?" I frowned.
"Because by the time we go back, we have to act the way we were before." He sighed.
"You were the one who made this deal, General. Stick to it."
"Ne, First. Will you really protect me?"
"Of course." I crossed my arms. "It's my job, isn't it?"
"Could you promise me that?" He raised his head.
"Definitely. I've been protecting you all this time."
"Could you promise me something else?"
I furrowed my eyebrows. "What is it?" He stayed silent. I sat next to him again. When he noticed this, he immediately circled his arms around me. He seemed desperate and sad. I couldn't leave him like this. He buried his face on my neck, I just tugged on the front of his shirt.
"By the time tomorrow comes and we'd be back to how we used to be, could you promise me to stay?" He looked up at me. "Promise me you'll be here. Promise me you'll never leave me. Promise me you'll stay. Promise me we'll still gonna be the same as we are now."
I just stared at his pained face. He was really feeling lonely, and I felt bad. "I'm blind, thus I can't see. You're the only hope I have, and you're the only sunshine I see. If you were to leave, then I.." He trailed off. I didn't want to hear any more of that. I bit my lip to refrain myself from saying anything. "If you were to leave.." Stop it. I don't want to hear it. I'm not gonna leave, General. I just can't bring myself to say it. It's not my character at all.
He breathed deeply. "If you were to leave, then I won't-"
I silenced him by kissing him on the lips. I just didn't want him to think that I'll leave him alone. My actions told him something with which my words cannot express. Since I couldn't bring myself to say it, I just let him understand it, through actions. He caressed my cheeks and kissed me back. I'm pretty sure he got shocked when I was the one who tried to kiss him this time. He placed his hand on the back of my neck, pulling me towards him even more. I had my eyes shut tightly as I respond to his kisses. Little by little, I calmed down and let my mouth do all the work.
I pulled back a little, and he kissed me once more. "Don't say I'll leave you, General, because I won't. Don't you ever. Ever think that way again." I said sharply.
"Yes ma'am." His face was smug. "Finally, huh?" He chuckled.
I glared at him. "Please say nonsense when you're asleep."
He leaned forward and pressed his lips to mine another time. This time, I didn't stop him. He pulled back and grinned a really big smile. "Oh, what's this? Is it already allowed?" He whispered teasingly.
I placed both my hands on his chest and pushed him back with all my might, causing him to fall on his back on the ground. He rolled to his side and looked at me with pure confusion. "What? What did I do this time?"
I stood up, took out my gun and.. bang bang bang "Just" bang bang bang "stop" bang bang "that." I hissed through my teeth. He sat there extremely stiff with wide eyes. I sighed. "Be thankful that I left you alive."
"Why are you so worked up?" He panted with a hint of fear. "You're using your gun to shoot me to hide the embarrassment? What a scary girl." He exhaled deeply. "Riza Hawkeye," he exhaled again. "Your love is difficult to understand." He breathed deeply, clutching his chest.
I stuffed my gun inside my bag and slitted my eyes at him. "Stand up. We're going." I turned my back and started walking away.
He was right. I'm just not used to being exposed to these kinds of things such as love and embarrassment so I have not idea how to react properly. Then I resort to take out my gun and let out the feelings I don't understand with every shoot. I was raised like a warrior, I'm used to holding vicious things and deadly weapons. I have not the slightest idea how to be delicate. Today I have been placed in a situation that I'm an alien to. Love, is this what it really supposed to be? Is this really a path I can fit in? Human hearts are very delicate and fragile. If I become in charge of general's heart and feelings, sooner or later I'd lose control and break it easily.
After a while, I felt a hand squeeze mine. My head shot up. General was beside me looking tired. "First, really. Don't leave me like that."
"What's this?" I squeezed his hand to tell him that I was talking about it.
"Can't you even let me hold your hand? How cold, First.." He frowned. "One, I can't see. Two, I don't know the way. Three, I want to hold your hand because I know I won't be able to do this tomorrow and onwards." He sighed. "Please let me do this, First."
I could already see the car coming to view. "Just for today." I interlocked our fingers and smiled to myself. I may not understand what this thing called love is, but General is here willing to show me and make me understand its real meaning.
"Promise me you'll be here. Promise me you'll never leave me. Promise me you'll stay. Promise me we'll still gonna be the same as we are now." Of course, you idiot. I promise. I looked up to the sky and saw a few stars showing up. I promise to the stars.
We continued to walk until we reached the car. General, I'm really not used to these kinds of things but today I learned something I can be really sure of. I may not know its true meaning but.. General, I may have really loved you.
Please wait for the next chapter! :) please let me know your insights.
