Quinn's daddy owned a large plantation, and by default owned a lot of slaves. Rachel wasn't sure if this made Quinn a bad person, because her new friend thought slavery was okay. But Rachel turned a deaf ear when Quinn told stories about how the slaves broke something and their punishments, or how she got to pick her own personal servant on her tenth birthday. Where Rachel stopped talking to Quinn, the little Spanish girl began. Her name was Santana Lopez, and just like Quinn she lived on a plantation. Their fathers had done business together before the girls were born, but only recently had the Lopez family moved to Fairmont. The two girls had been growing closer over the past few weeks, and especially even more so now that they went to school together. Rachel wasn't too keen on this relationship. She had discovered early on that girls like Santana Lopez were mean and thought everyone around them should feel bad about themselves, but it only made Rachel feel sorry for her.
As Quinn and Santana grew closer, Rachel was once again left behind. She was the weird girl no one talked to. At first she had thought it was because unlike the other girls she didn't have pretty dresses or a big house with nice things, but neither did Brittany. This confused Rachel, because Santana had made it her sole goal to terrorize her whereas she coddled Brittany. Brittany was a sweet tempered girl with big blue eyes and a funny way of talking. She spoke broken English with words Rachel had never heard; Brittany called it her parents' language and Mr. Taylor called it Dutch. Brittany wasn't allowed to speak it inside the schoolhouse and so Santana often times spoke for her. Rachel felt that her and Brittany could have been friends if Santana didn't make a hissing sound every time Rachel tried to talk to the blonde.
Rachel could talk to a brown-headed boy that had to sit in a special chair though. His name was Artie Abrams and he knew a lot about things that didn't matter. Rachel liked that because when Artie said there were animals bigger than Santana's house in the ocean, she felt less lonely. But not always could Artie cheer Rachel up.
"My daddy won't let the slaves sing." Quinn was smirking at Santana as she tried to beat her friend at their little game of who had more money. The game though had a taken a turn to find out who had the best father. Rachel had caught the tail end of the conversation as they girls walked past her, and her ears were suddenly hot. It had been two years since her friendship with Quinn had unraveled, and now at nine years old she tried to understand what had turned the pretty blonde so mean.
"That isn't nice, Quinn."
Santana whipped around, and Rachel swore she heard the girl crack like lightning. The snarl was already pulling the girl's lips back, but before she could spit venom, Brittany wrapped her arms around Santana's arm and tugged her. She whispered something into the other girl's ear and Santana took a step back towards Brittany, her attention was diverted but her body remained aggressive. Rachel was Quinn's problem, and Quinn wasn't going to let Rachel try and call her out. Santana had warned Quinn about Rachel's upbringing. It had been towards the beginning of 2nd grade by the swings, the year that Quinn had decided Rachel was no good.
"Q you have to stop hanging out with that weird girl."
"She really isn't that bad, Santana. Yeah, she can be a little crazy but she means well." Quinn swung her legs out, wishing she could fly far away from here. She liked talking to Rachel. She was sweet and had pretty eyes like Brittany, but Quinn looked forward to seeing Rachel everyday. It was a different kind of wanting to be with Rachel then it was with Santana and Brittany. She kept her secrets away from the twosome, but she wanted to tell Rachel everything. Sometimes Quinn wished that Santana had never moved to Fairmont. Secretly, Santana wished the same.
"Quinn stop it. You know the man she lives with isn't even her father, right? He's her uncle. She's an orphan. She lives in a shack! And they only have one nursemaid, and she's like Rachel's mom! It's gross. You can't be friends with her." Santana had jumped out of her swing and was now standing in front of Quinn who had stopped swinging. The two girls stared at each other before Quinn sprung up.
"You don't get to tell me what to do, Lopez. It doesn't matter about Rachel's home life, she's my friend."
But Quinn did stop hanging out with Rachel. She stopped talking to Rachel. She stopped being friends with Rachel. There had been other children that Quinn didn't care about to acknowledge that could become Rachel's friends, but as she got older she realized they wouldn't be her friends. There was only one boy that talked to her, but Quinn never said sorry. She never explained to the doe-eyed seven year old as to why she stopped talking to her. Instead, Quinn had focused on schoolwork and becoming the prettiest girl in the class. As a nine-year-old Southern girl she took great pride in her appearance, and her mother had already groomed her older sister into being a Southern Belle, and Quinn was next.
"You know what else isn't nice? Your smell. Go home, Rachel. Oh wait, a barn isn't a home."
Tears sprang into Rachel's eyes as Quinn's mouth pulled back like Santana's. It had been the first time Rachel had allowed herself to cry in front of her tormenters. Quinn wasn't supposed to be mean. Rachel bit her lip, her brows furrowing as she tried to understand Quinn's new iciness. She wiped her tears as she stared at Quinn's cold eyes. Where had the angel face gone?
"No, Quinn. You can't talk about people like that. You can't just say mean things!"
"Or what, gnome? Gonna go tell your parents? No, can't do that, can you? In account of the fact that they're six feet under." This earned snickers from Santana, and the boy with the shaved head, Noah. Rachel wished she was six feet under, anywhere but here. Quinn was different this year: she was cold, withheld, and missing. Rachel almost hesitated, but instead surged forward and wrapped her tiny body around a stiff Quinn. She didn't cry, or feel angry in that moment for Quinn's cruel jibes. She felt sadness like when she looked at Santana. Quinn had forgot how to love.
"Goodbye Quinn Fabray." It was whispered into Quinn's shoulder, Rachel wanted it to seep into the blonde's body and staple her to the ground. Quinn shoved her off and Rachel fell into the dirt. She looked up at the other girl with hurt written in her eyes. She thought she saw something flit across Quinn's face, maybe sadness or maybe it was just the dust because in the next moment the stone cold mask was placed back. Then Quinn was walking away. Santana turned and gaze a last glare at Rachel, before a sad looking Brittany pulled her away.
Elementary school had been painful for Rachel. She had grown close with Artie, and had also made friends with Sam. Another boy named Kurt had come to the school during 4th grade, and he had made a great best friend, but Rachel missed the first girl that had been nice to her. Quinn made it a point to tear Rachel down with everything she was worth, and Quinn was worth a lot. Starting in 3rd grade on Tuesdays and Thursdays, black ink would be poured on Rachel come rain or shine. Noah had to restrain Kurt when Rachel was about to be inked on the first Tuesday that Kurt was there to witness it. The taunts soon began to be directed at Kurt, but Rachel was still prey to the hungry beasts.
She still secretly watched Quinn from the corner of her eye during school, and sometimes she swore she caught Quinn staring at her. One time Rachel caught Quinn singing as she sat on the foot of the stairs, waiting for her maid to pick her up in the white buggy. It sent goosebumps across Rachel's skin as she picked up the words. It was something pretty, one of the songs from the slaves. It surprised Rachel because she thought Quinn would have been singing a prayer song. Like one from the chapel down the road. Rachel had never went to there before since she was Jewish, but one time she and her father had passed by it while the choir was signing. Rachel sang too, but she did it when she milked the cow, or rode her horse, or when she walked through the woods, or when she thought no one was listening. She had only sung with her father and Susan and they had praised her voice, but they had also told her she was pretty and none of her schoolmates agreed with that. So Rachel had kept it to herself, and let her voice flourish in the shadows while Quinn hid hers behind the other children's at church. Rachel thought Quinn shouldn't hide her voice.
"Poor Caesar, poor boy;*
Rosy broke my poor heart,
Heav'n shall-a be my home.
I cannot stay in hell one day,
Heav'n shall-a be my home;
I'll sing and pray my soul away,
Heav'n shall-a be my home."
Rachel liked this song. Sometimes she would sneak to a nearby plantation house where Susan had told her that her niece lived. The girl was named Mercedes, and Rachel liked to talk to her in the field. They sang together, soft sounds weaved through the cotton, and Rachel felt at home with these people. She started whispering the words under her breath, and soon her voice was weaved with Quinn's.
Quinn didn't bother to turn around or stop signing, the only difference was a slight hilt to her voice when Rachel chimed in, but then her voice evened out. Rachel liked singing with Quinn; it was like when they were six and Quinn didn't have ice to her voice. When Quinn sang it was as if she put her thoughts and feelings into it, but instead of talking with words she talked with rasp of her voice and the hitches and hiccups that cut holes in her song. Rachel sat down on the stairs with Quinn, and put her hand over the other girl's, and went silent.
"I don't know what the people want of me,
Heav'n shall-a be my home."
Rachel decided Quinn was a very lonely girl; lonelier than her.
Poor Rosy – Slave Song of the South
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