A/n: The formatting was a little wonky, and ffdotnet didn't let me upload any new chapters to replace the wonky one so it had to wait. Anyhoo, I'm really proud of how this turned out. I hope you guys liked it too.
Part 2/2
The sliding doors of the balcony to Ritsuka's room were shut, as if to drive out the biting wind. Soubi knew though, through all his experiences, that Ritsuka would still be cold despite the attempted trappings of heat. He expected Ritsuka to be at his computer; it was where he spent most of his time when at home. He ignored the little voice in his head that said the window had been shut ever since that night.
What he didn't expect was a silhouette of another person. Much too short to be Ritsuka; and much too curvy. But, much too flat to be Yuiko altogether, he observed a little snidely. It was another girl, an unknown to Soubi.
He should know who it was- he knew all Ritsuka's friends. He had befriended all of them too, and knew each name by heart. Ritsuka's little collection of friends had grown from two to about five hundred. Soubi figured there was only so much resistance one could have against a cute, still cat-eared, sixteen year old.
What could the girl possibly be doing in his Ritsuka's room? Given the circumstances, and the still very unstable mental-state of his mother, no one was ever allowed to visit Ritsuka at his house. He went to their houses, they stayed away from his. Soubi had the freedom of the sliding doors.
His lip curled a little at the thought of someone else touching Ritsuka where previously, only he had the access. Ritsuka's room was as familiar to him as his own house, and he didn't appreciate the fact that someone else might be trampling all over his territory.
Fine, Ritsuka's territory.
Then, just as he was about to go up to the balcony to see just who this person was, another silhouette came into view.
He recognized the fellow as Yayoi, from the way his ears twitched every three seconds, and the animated hands. The furious pumping of his heart slowed down to its normal, calm state. Probably a late-night discussion for a project or something. Soubi also assumed that Mrs. Aoyagi wasn't home; Ritsuka wouldn't have risked his friends in the house if she was.
Now relieved that Ritsuka was safe and sound in the comfort of his own room and his friends, Soubi turned to leave.
He felt a little pang in his heart, when from the corner of his eyes, Ritsuka appeared visible on the sliding door. He had pushed apart the curtains to look out. Soubi ducked behind a bush, just in case, but Ritsuka didn't seem to notice. A lingering glance or two later, he disappeared behind the curtains, leaving them to swish to a stop. There was a foggy mark on the glass pane where his breath had left it.
It seemed years ago since Soubi had been there, though it was probably only a month and a half.
I still need you… even though you don't.
Soubi picked a dry leaf off of his coat, and with a flick of the wrist turned it into a snowflake.
Perhaps Ritsuka had felt him, which was why he looked out the doors. Their bond, which was unbreakable only a few months ago, was now fading. Ritsuka could call him, and Soubi could feel it instantly, but now, it was a miracle that he still managed a few faint wisps of Ritsuka's presence whenever he tried to communicate to him. It would not bode well to either of them, should danger occur. If the other Fighters knew of this, that the bond between Loveless and Beloved was unraveling, it wouldn't take long for them to show up and issue a challenge. Soubi wouldn't mind, but the thought of Ritsuka facing them on his own was enough to shake him.
It was part of the reason why he couldn't leave Ritsuka alone.
The other part… well… Soubi only smiled darkly to himself.
The cell phone rang, a default tone that Soubi set to everyone else that was in the phone contacts that wasn't Ritsuka's. He glanced at the screen, and answered the call without bothering to say hello.
"What do you want?" he asked, every bone in his body heightened to awareness.
"It's been so long, Soubi, and not even a hello?" The silky smooth voice of Ritsu-sensei cut through him like glass.
"That was my version of hello."
"Ah, I was wondering what you thought about the present I sent you."
"You mean the pair? I dealt with them. They're dead. I'm surprised sensei, you're certainly better than that." He pushed back his sleeves to look at his watch. This was usually the time when Ritsuka came out from his house to go to school.
"Did Loveless and you kill them? Or did you and Beloved?"
"Does it matter?" He looked at the door. It looked back at him with silent animosity. Any time now, Ritsuka would be trudging out of the door, with sleep-induced mutterings, and half-hearted paces.
"It would serve as most important as to whether or not I've achieved my purpose, Soubi."
"Your purpose? Your mission failed."
He must have overslept. Smiling, Soubi went up to Ritsuka's balcony and peeked through the glass. The bed was empty, and neatly made. There was no sign of Ritsuka.
"Ah, but it didn't, Soubi. You see, I trained the pair to be so good, that they can only be defeated by Beloved. Not one half, but two halves of a whole. And now you're telling me that they're dead. It is good news indeed." The laugh at the end of the sentence was cheerful, almost jubilant.
"You sent a pair to be killed by Seimei and I? What is that, some kind of experiment?" He frowned, more concerned about where Ritsuka went. Surely he couldn't have taken his words he said the night before seriously?
"It seems that young Aoyagi-kun has thrown you away, isn't it? Ah, to be discarded by choice by his own Sacrifice, Soubi, I feel for you. Whoever has heard about a Fighter being abandoned by not one, but two Sacrifices?"
"I still don't see how that fulfills your mission. We've won the battle, sensei."
"Oh, but I've gotten the prize. Aoyagi-kun doesn't trust you anymore, my dear Beloved, and a severed bond between a Fighter and his Sacrifice is what I have achieved."
Back on the front porch of Ritsuka's house, Soubi sat himself on the front steps and and talked into his phone. "I'm really sorry," he said pleasantly. "I have to make a really important call. We can chat later tonight, sensei, if you haven't slept yet. Meanwhile, if you'd like to collect your toys, they are lying by the swings in the park by the river."
"Goodbye, Soubi," the other voice said just as pleasantly. "By the way, I was just thinking, Loveless seems for apt for you, don't you think? Instead of Beloved."
Soubi ended the phone call.
He dialed Ritsuka's but it forwarded to his voice mail. Worried, he set off to Ritsuka's school.
It was getting tiring, talking to someone who never replied.
Is it just as tiring, listening to someone who never shut up?
Soubi was silent today. A cigarette dangling off his mouth, he walked alongside Ritsuka, who was engrossed with his camera.
Lots of pictures taken the day before, it seemed. Ritsuka's picture board and refrigerator should be almost full by now. Maybe Soubi's pictures were taken down, to make space for his other friends.
Ritsuka coughed slightly beside him. He glanced at Soubi's cigarettes before looking away. Ah. Yes. Ritsuka hated them.
He'd forgotten. "Sorry," he apologized, before taking the stick and threw it into the nearest trash can he saw.
Ritsuka just coughed again, and returned to his camera.
There were many questions and cheerful tales on the tip of his tongue. Did Ritsuka have fun the night before? Who was there? Kio pecked Soubi on the cheek in his drunkenness and decided to dance before Soubi threw him out of his apartment. Well, only for two minutes. Then he took him in again and tucked him into bed.
He was beginning to think that maybe it wasn't worth it because it seemed that everything he said bounced off Ritsuka, like he wasn't there.
He'd rather he give him orders and control him than ignore him like that.
Soubi………
Soubi was startled. He didn't let it show on his face, but every sense in his body pricked.
What was it?
He knew this person's aura.
He glanced at Ritsuka walking slowly beside him, engrossed in his camera. He didn't feel anything. There was a little smile on his lips, as he scrolled the buttons and viewed all the pictures he'd probably taken the night before.
Couldn't be. Just another memory of what his aura felt like.
Soubi would definitely know if he was there.
Still, he was sure he felt something.
"I felt something," he said, breaking the silence.
If it was another pair of fighters, it would be their first fight since Ritsuka officially decided to ignore his presence.
Without waiting to see whether Ritsuka would react, Soubi instantly darted to his right, an alley amidst the rows and rows of houses. "Go on to school. Should be nothing."
Wait, Soubi, where are you going?! I'm coming too!
The feeling was so much stronger here, and even more familiar.
Zero? Yohji and Natsuo?
Couldn't be.
Frowning, Soubi pursued, his instincts leading the way.
There was nobody in the alley, so he ran in the middle, feeling the blood roaring in his veins, and liking the feel of the wind.
His heart seemed to pump faster and faster each step he took. His body knew this aura very very well, though it's been years. He still knew it, like how he knew the expression on Ritsuka's face every time he got mad.
He reached the park and stopped. It was quiet at this time of day. The top of the slides and the swings were laden with snow, like no one had sat in there for ages. He stopped in his tracks, his feet having made fresh imprints in the snow, as if tainting it.
It was too quiet.
"Seimei," he spoke out.
It was as if the noise broke out all at once right after. All at once, he couldn't breathe. The aura was overwhelming him, his head was filled with past memories and his vision a vast canvas of white.
He shook away the blurry vision and looked at the emerging figure in front of him.
"Long time no see," Seimei said easily.
His god.
He looked as good as ever. Devastatingly good. Like the sharp edge of a knife, and the smoothness of polished steel. Dangerous.
"Have you been protecting Ritsuka like I told you to?" He walked, closer and closer, and yet, Soubi thought, he was so far away.
"Yes."
"Good."
Now, Seimei frowned, and Soubi thought, it looked better on him than when he'd smiled. A more honest expression. "Now, Soubi, we fight."
Eh?
The wide-eyed expression on his face must have amused Seimei because his frown changed again easily into laugher.
"We fight, Soubi. I have a new fighter, didn't you know?"
He didn't. He had not noticed the other figure standing behind Seimei, as if enveloping him. His stomach twisted at that sight.
Seimei held out a hand, his eyes flashing. "System initiate."
"Fight me, Soubi! It's an order!" His face glowed with an eerie light which had nothing to do with the sun's effect. There was an animalistic glare in his eyes, and his lips were etched in a snarl that Soubi knew all too well.
Even so… even if it's an order…he…
"I've waited so long." Seimei circled Soubi, one slow footstep after the other, like a lion about to devour its prey. His stare bore daggers into Soubi's back, and sent chills up his spine. "They say we're the strongest pair around, you and I."
An arrogant laugh. "But who is the stronger of the two?" Seimei asked in an almost teasing tone.
He would not fight against Seimei. Seimei was his everything. His God. He would not hurt him. He gritted his teeth, as Seimei continued taunting him, stopping short of actually touching him. He was so close though –so very close- that Soubi almost reached out if only to just touch his cheek. The wind blew from behind, and whipped his long hair around his face.
Seimei's hair remained cool, and unmoving to the weather.
Soubi's heart beat only to one thought; one singular word.
Ritsuka, Ritsuka, Ritsuka, it echoed.
When had the duty of fulfilling Seimei's wish to love Ritsuka shed its shackles and become an embodiment of his own free will? He hadn't noticed. He hadn't thought he would be capable of that- to be able to love someone, without orders, without boundaries.
"Having fun while I was gone, weren't you?" Seimei's voice was soft, and dangerous.
His fighter stood just beyond the edge of their circle Seimei had made, silent and waiting for further instructions. Soubi thought his face looked just like him, expressionless, cold… and dead.
He stared at the person with a surge of hatred. Disgusting, absolutely despicable. He wanted so much to scar that person's perfect face, if only to look for a sign that he was alive. His own face was calm; he didn't let any of his emotions show on his features.
"Fight me," Seimei said once more, slowly. His eyes hardened. There was a cold fire in them, blazing blue and bright.
Always, always protect your Sacrifice
Does it still apply if the Sacrifice has found himself another fighter?
Does it matter if Ritsuka found his bonded fighter?
Soubi smiled to himself. He knew the answer before he even questioned himself.
"Do you need your Sacrifice here to fight?" Seimei emphasized the word 'your'. When Soubi flinched, he smiled. "Is that it? Shall we call him? I'm getting bored already, Soubi."
No, Ritsuka cannot see Seimei like this. It would shatter his heart.
Even if he had to lose, Ritsuka must never see.
"What if I told you that your duty is complete?" Seimei asked casually, taking one step forward so he was now only a few inches away. Soubi could feel his breath on his face, warm and inviting in the cold winter air. An illusion, he thought.
"What would you do?" He reached out and fingered Soubi's hair.
Soubi froze. He hadn't thought of that.
"I'm giving you a choice. You never had one. Now you do." There was no need to explain any further.
If Soubi refused to return, then they fight. He had no doubt Seimei had his means of letting Ritsuka know of his presence regardless of not whether Soubi wanted to fight alone. But if he returned to Seimei, than Ritsuka would never need to know. Soubi was certain he did not want Ritsuka to fight against Seimei. He already succeeded in planting a faint picture of the Seimei Ritsuka never got to see in his mind. In many ways, regardless of just what kind of a person Seimei truly was, he wanted him to remain the loving, kind, and gentle brother that Ritsuka knew and loved.
No matter the price.
"You are Beloved. Ritsuka is Loveless. It was never meant to be," Seimei sighed. He placed his hands on Soubi's neck. For a split second, he imagined Seimei tightening his grip as his eyes hardened into flint, but his fingers were the softest feather of a touch as he traced the scar that was engraved into his flesh underneath the bandages. Pain and a torment Soubi had ceased to remember returned under the pads of Seimei's fingers.
He knew that the scar was beginning to bleed.
Beloved. Shouldn't it be the other way around? Ritsuka was Beloved.
Would it be better if he returned to Seimei? Certainly, it wasn't a prospect he had looked forward to, but for the betterment of Ritsuka's well-being, perhaps it would be the right thing to do. Between a choice of Ritsuka's feelings, and Ritsuka's inherent survival, Soubi knew it wasn't a difficult decision to make. Ritsuka's feelings were void by now though, he mused a little bitterly. It shouldn't matter.
And yet, it did. Ritsuka's very fears, his doubts and all his insecurities about Soubi would come true if he went back to Seimei. It would not be something Soubi was so desperate and determined to prove Ritsuka wrong any longer.
Already, the bond between them was left to a single thread of hope; even then, it was wavering, the lingering resentment in Ritsuka fraying the string day by day. Soubi wasn't sure if he was ready to completely snap it into two.
"A shame," Seimei sneered. He cupped Soubi's chin and tilted it so he was forced to stare into Seimei's eyes. "Ritsuka never believed in you."
"I know that," Soubi said quietly. A mistake. The grip hardened. Seimei's fingers were pressed tightly against his jaw. He was sure it would leave red welts later. The sneer quickly turned into a charming smile. Soubi hated it. It made his stomach churn to see such a dishonest expression. Fakeness.,
Perhaps it was spending four years with a boy who let his expression be read with a single frown, or a tiny quirk or a slight twitch in his eye; perhaps it was that he didn't use to mind or notice when people displayed such hypocritical expressions and now he did, whatever it was, Soubi wanted to wipe off that smile and replace it with a frown that fit Seimei better.
Seimei pressed their lips together. It was cold, colder than the snow that had begun to cease falling.
"I order you to stop loving Ritsuka." The words came down like a blade, and the bond between Loveless and Beloved were lost in that instant.
The silence that descended upon them was so loud that Soubi had to close his eyes to regain his ground. In his heart was a gaping chasm where the link to Ritsuka once was.
They were finished. The bond was broken.
It was over.
He hung his head. "Yes master." The voice did not seem like his own; cold, and emotionless.
When he lifted his head, and pushed the hair away from his forehead, all that was left was an empty playground. The snow was gone, the once grassy ground a barren brown, the swings unmoving, and the blackened branches unwavering.
His scar kept bleeding.
………..
Except…
Soubi whipped around as a barrage of fists rammed into his belly, pushing him back onto the ground.
He looked up in astonishment at Ritsuka standing before him, hair in his eyes, stuck to his face, beads of sweat running down the side of his cheek, and his shoulders heaving up and down in need of air. But what utterly devastated Soubi was the look of complete misery and betrayal on his face.
"It's over," Ritsuka said softly, composed and calm. "Just like I said it would happen, and just like…" his voice cracked at this point and his face fell. "Just like you wanted."
Soubi couldn't stand it then, when the words were out of his mouth. One hand on the gravel to support himself, he reached out for Ritsuka with his other arm and pulled him down with a fierceness he didn't know he had. Ritsuka cried then, sobbing and muttering unintelligible words into the crook of his arm.
'I'm sorry' was something he said when he had let Ritsuka down for the fiftieth time. It was something he said when he didn't pick Ritsuka up from his school like he said he would. It was something he said when he accidentally purposely dropped by Ritsuka's house in the dead of the night. It wasn't something he could say then. It was too big, and too important.
They lay there, sprawled on the ground for a long time. Ritsuka's sobs had died down by then, quivering into occasional sniffs. Soubi realized with a slight amazement that Ritsuka was actually pretty heavy. And lanky too. He had reached Soubi's shoulders in height. With a slight smile, Soubi thought Ritsuka fit his body better. The way all his boyish knobs and curves seemed to be in sync with Soubi's own was endearing. He hadn't dared to hug him ever since Ritsuka declared that Soubi was embarrassing him.
Kio's words came into mind. Don't be a pervert, Soubi!
Ritsuka finally sat up; arranging himself awkwardly all over Soubi's body so he wouldn't rest his weight on one singular place. He rested his palms on Soubi's stomach, and leaned close – Soubi realized there was a faint blush on his cheeks – to whisper a little shakily, "I'm sorr-"
Soubi sat up then, not wanting Ritsuka to finish that sentence. He silenced him with a finger on his lips, and bent so that their foreheads touched. "You are my most precious family," he said softly.
Ritsuka's eyes welled up in that instant, and he opened his mouth to say something else, but Soubi closed them with a soft kiss, sucking slowly and gently on his lower lip before making his way into his mouth. He felt that surely, this time, Ritsuka wouldn't protest.
He didn't.
The walk back home was heartwarming, filled with Ritsuka's easy laughter and noisy chatter. The one and a half months of solitude were quickly filled up as Ritsuka babbled merrily about his school, and the party he held in his room the day his mother was out of town. It was honestly fun, Risuka said earnestly, it was his first room-party ever.
They bumped shoulders every few steps, and Ritsuka's hand was locked with Soubi's own.
He didn't talk about Seimei.
Soubi wasn't sure if Ritsuka saw, or whether Seimei was real. The powerful aura he felt was as real as night, that he was certain, but whether it was evoked due to old memories or something else, he wasn't so sure. If it wasn't real, then was Seimei an illusion? Perhaps someone created it to break the bond between him and Ritsuka? If so, it had backfired horribly. The bond was stronger than ever now, an anchor of love deep inside his heart.
As they walked along the street, a single butterfly fluttered past Soubi. A beautiful viceroy, a clever mimicry of the monarch butterfly.
An old order passed into his mind.
"I order you to love Ritsuka."
Soubi smiled.
"Yes, master."
"So, Ritsuka," Soubi turned to Ritsuka, who was in the midst of grumbling about his latest math homework. He turned and waited expectantly. "Perhaps it's time we talk about those cat-ears of yours."
Ritsuka turned pink. His tail twitched.
