A/N: I know Jacob is a bit OOC here but one of my favorite things he said to Bella in the series is "Maybe even then..." and this was just me trying to re-imagine how things would be post Breaking Dawn if that statement ever came into play. Granted, if I could go back and rewrite this, I might change Jacob's reactions a bit more but I figured when I wrote this, Jacob has had plenty of time to get used to the Cullens by now, especially Bella, thanks to the imprint. Still, Jacob probably would have reacted differently so please forgive the OOCness. Warning, major fluff and saccharine sweet dialogue lies ahead.
In going over this part to edit it a little bit, I noticed two things. One, I think I said here that Claire is eleven and I'm not positive but I think Claire was two when Quil imprinted on her in the books, wasn't she? So if Nessie is 9 here, then Claire should be 11, right? *full body shudder* Yikes. Anyway, I hope I got that right. And secondly, the dialogue during Jacob and Bella's scene that becomes a bit broken up, I know it reads kind of ridiculously but I'm not very good at showing when someone is speaking while out of breath and Jacob's meant to be in some pain when saying those things so I hope it comes across okay despite the ridiculousness.
Listened to this song while writing beach scene: Unchained Melody - Sarah McLachlan
Disclaimer: Everything belongs to Stephenie Meyer, the creator of Twilight.
Part 2: Always
Jacob sighs as he looks out over the water. The moon is high in the sky, reflecting its brilliance over the waves back at him. He checks the watch on his left wrist. Any minute now. She said she'd be here. She promised.
He had rushed home after she went back to the house. He jumped into the shower, scrubbing extra hard and lathering a few more times than was necessary. He didn't want to smell like he had earlier. That would just make this harder. For both of them.
He was...happy. Just to see her. Just like he used to feel back in the day when she would drive over to see him. He couldn't stop smiling.
His father saw him moving from room to room, eyeing him warily. The grin still plastered to his face, Jake stepped out into the hallway. "Do I look okay?" Billy nodded wordlessly and Jake's smile grew bigger. He rushed Billy and grabbed him in a huge hug. "Thanks, old man. I owe you one."
Billy stared wide-eyed at his son who laughed and hurried out the door. "See you later, Dad."
Billy shook his head and smiled himself. He hadn't seen Jacob that happy in years. The imprint must be doing wonders for him. It was about time his son was able to find some happiness.
-STB-
Jacob checks his watch one more time. She was supposed to be here fifteen minutes ago.
He paces the sand, repeatedly inserting and extracting his hands from his pockets. He forces himself to take another deep breath, closing his eyes. No. She said she would be here. She promised and she would.
He had set it all up. Sam had been the furthest thing from understanding but he acquiesced. On the condition that Quil and Embry would escort her to Jacob and Jacob would escort her back across the line. Jacob had readily agreed. Sam had stared at him, almost knowingly, but did not question why this "meeting" needed to take place over the border. And Jacob never provided an explanation.
He runs his hand through his hair, rubbing his head as he walks back and forth. What could be keeping her?
Jacob freezes. Oh no. What if she wasn't going to keep her promise after all? What if she had only told him what she knew he wanted to hear? What if she never had any intention of seeing him? His heart hurts at the thought, right beside the pain throbbing in the other half because he wants to see her and not his imprint.
He glances down at his watch. Twenty minutes. She's not coming.
He knew she wouldn't choose him but this was worse. She didn't even want to see him. To hear what he had to say. Not when he was still desperately in love with her. Not when he gave away something that was supposed to be hers and hers alone.
Jacob groans in frustration and kicks a rock, sending it flying into the crashing waves. He places his head in his hands and lets a single tear trickle down his right cheek. Why is he doomed to love this woman for the rest of his life? Why is he made to sit around, watching her be happy with him, when really she's supposed to be his? Why? Why is fate always knocking him to the ground and kicking him when he's down? Why? Why can't she love him back? Why can't he be enough?
The burning scent curls under his nostrils and crawls its way inside, nearly choking him in the process. He drops his hands and turns towards the source.
She's here. Giving him that smile. With two very perturbed wolves at her side.
Jake can't help but grin the widest he ever has in his life. He's so happy to see her.
He hears a slight growl and catches eyes with Quil. He clears his throat and puts on his Alpha mask. "Okay guys, I'll take it from here. Thanks."
Quil growls again and turns, sprinting back into the woods before someone can see them, never looking back. Jacob understands. Even though Claire is only eleven, Quil is happy. And Quil is anything but stupid. Quil knows him all too well. He knows what that smile means.
Embry is more forgiving, though. He whines and Jacob gives him a grateful smile. "I'm fine. Thanks for doing this, Em. I appreciate it. We'll be out of here soon. Let Sam know, will you?"
Embry whines again but shakes his massive head. Embry turns to leave, glancing at Bella one more time who smiles over at him, and he sprints off after Quil. Bella watches him go and Jacob watches her.
She turns back to find him smiling at her. She smiles her smile in return. "You look rather well-dressed for a talk, Jacob Black." Her smile turns into a smirk as does his.
"So do you, Bells."
She takes a step toward him, shaking her head. Jacob has on light khakis and a white button-down shirt. She smiles adoringly at him when she sees it's untucked. "Are you dressed for a date, Jake?"
His smirk is so wide, he can't deny it even if he tried. Instead, he stares at her. "Are you?"
Bella's wearing a dress that stops two inches below her knees. It's a darker shade of blue, making her look elegant yet simple in the light dancing off the moving water. Her straps are thick but not too thick, showing her perfect pale shoulders as well as the slender curve of her neck hidden behind the curtain of soft chestnut curls flowing down her back. She almost looks the same as she did back at her…..prom. Almost.
She shakes her head again, chuckling. "Oh, Jake." She sounds sad but she smiles.
Jacob extends his hand to her and she takes it, stepping into his arms. He releases her hand and places his underneath her hair, gently clasping the back of her neck as his other hand gently strokes her left cheek. It reminds him of how he had wanted to touch her at that prom he had crashed to deliver his father's far-fetched (what he thought at the time) warning so long ago.
Their smiles are gone now, fading when the icy flames surge through them at the contact. Her eyes close and her breath is shallow as she leans into his touch.
Jacob watches her sadly, wishing he could do this every day for the rest of his life. Just this. Just this touch. Touching her. Feeling her underneath his skin. Ignoring the cold marble perfection. Just her.
He feels her frigid lips press lightly against the skin of the inside of his wrist. A kiss of reverence. A kiss of love. The purest kind. A love that will not change over time. That will not fade with other people or other supernatural destinies. This is the real thing. He's always known it to be. Always known it was this way between them. Always known that their love would stand the test of time. No matter how many decades will pass. No matter how many generations. He will always be hers.
His hand begins to tremble with the pain running through his veins. Her eyes open and she cradles his shaking hand in hers. "You're in pain."
He smiles faintly. "I always am when it comes to you."
Bella looks at him sadly and kisses his hand. "I'm sorry." She lets out a deep breath, closes her eyes tightly and hanging her head in regret, keeping their hands to her cheek. "For everything. I never meant to put you through all of this. I just..." She sighs and her lids clamp down tighter and then she opens them to look up at him, pleading for his understanding. "I just couldn't be without him."
He lowers his eyes to the ground. He does understand. It's the way he feels about her.
"And I still can't." Jacob closes his eyes in pain. "Just like you can't be without her."
His eyes flip open and snap to hers angrily. "Wrong. You're the one I can't be without."
Bella frowns and gazes at him in pain. "Jake, she's your imprint. You said it yourself. That it's like gravity moving, that nothing matters more than her."
Jake pulls his hand out of hers which is still shaking heavily, but now with anger instead of pain. "And I also said that I would never see anyone but you. And I don't. I still don't. You're the only one I see, Bella. God!"
He stalks off to their tree and sits down, his head in his hands, grabbing at his hair frantically. He lifts his head and drops his hand, looking over at her. "Why, Bella? Why, for once, can't I just be enough for you? Why?" He hears his voice catch on the end but he can't stop. "Don't you have any idea how much I love you? You're supposed to be with me and you know it. But you fight me on it tooth and nail every time. I'm stuck in this soulless hell of a reality that is my life now thanks to you. I hurt every goddamn day that I have to see that bloodsucker kiss you and hold your hand and God, even hear him at night when you're both-doing-THAT! Christ!"
He winces and looks away, feeling the tears drip slowly onto his russet cheeks. He makes no effort to wipe them away or hide them from her. "I just..." He sighs and closes his eyes. "I love you, Bella. You're the one. Not her. I've tried. I really have. But no matter what, she'll never be you. I love you. And I just wish I was enough." He whispers his last statement to her.
In a flash, she's next to him and he feels her cold fingers trailing after a tear rolling down his cheek. "You've always been enough, Jake. Always. I was a fool to never admit it to myself, for not realizing it sooner."
His eyes open and snap to hers, widening in shock.
Bella strokes his cheek gently with the back of her index and middle fingers. "It was me. This is all...me. Never you. I chose this. I chose him and them. This is me. I did this. To us." He doesn't say a word and she sighs and sits down next to him.
She threads her fingers into his hair and massages his scalp as he looks at her. "You're my one regret." Her whisper cuts through him and rips his heart to pieces again.
Jacob swallows thickly and chokes out a whisper back to her. "Because you met me?"
She shakes her head slowly but remains silent, staring at him as she continues her tender ministrations on him. She leans in gently and kisses him. He kisses her back with everything he can muster from the remnant of his heart that's for her and her alone.
In the blink of an eye, she's straddling him, kissing him passionately, and tangling both hands in his hair and pulling him closer to her. Their kissing is ardent, full of need and desire, yet remains tender and pure, full of the love and devotion that's been between them all this time.
Bella breaks the kiss and leans her head back so he can kiss her neck and he does, each brush of his lips a silent worship of the girl he's loved since he was fifteen. Since before he met her. Since before he was born. Just like it was supposed to be.
"I love you." He pulls back to look at her and she stares at him through half-lidded eyes. "I've always loved you."
Jacob swallows again and lifts up a hand to her face, brushing his thumb gently across her lips. "I love you, Bells." He smiles regardless of the tears making their way out of his eyes.
She kisses his thumb and then moves in and kisses the tears away before bringing her lips back to his. She fists his hair tightly and kisses him deeply, moving to be even closer.
One hand grasps her neck gently, pulling her closer to him as well. The other clenches and unclenches repeatedly in the small of her back.
The breathing through their noses becomes harsh and urgent but never do they break apart. Jacob wouldn't dare pull away from her now and Bella doesn't need to; her breathing is more for dramatic effect but he can't care less. All he sees, hears, and feels is Bella. Everything else ceases to exist. Even the pain burning in his body is no match for the hold Bella has on his senses. On his heart. So he doesn't hear it when it happens. He doesn't see it. He doesn't feel it until it's already done.
In a flash, Bella has him out of his pants and is taking him inside her. They both gasp when she fully sits down on him. His mouth is open in shock but his eyes are half shut with the passion this amazing feeling is producing in him.
Bella smirks and knocks him to the ground, separating them momentarily. She pushes him back up against the tree and straddles him again. His hands grip her hips and hers grip his shoulders as she fills herself with him once more.
They gasp again in chorus at the incredible feeling. She places her forehead against his, not moving, with both of them breathing heavily.
Jacob's trembling hand reaches up and brushes her hair back over her shoulder before cupping her cheek gently. "B-Bells. Are you s-sure?"
She nods and leans in to kiss him. She whispers against his lips, "I love you."
He feels a twinge of guilt and hears the angry roar of the wolf inside him but it's all overshadowed by her. "I love you, too." He smiles and so does she.
Bella kisses him again and begins to move ever so slowly, sliding up and down.
Jacob watches her in awe and moans quietly while grasping at her hips. He doesn't move, he doesn't need to. She's making love to him. Just like he never thought would happen but always hoped it would. Just like it was supposed to be.
She's biting her lip and moving her forehead against his, moaning every now and then. Her fingers are like small knives in his shoulders with their iron grip but he doesn't care. He doesn't care about anything right now. He just cares about her. And the way she's making him feel. The way they fit together perfectly. She's not warm but with his high body temperature, there's enough heat for the both of them.
He notices that she tightens down on him each time she sits down and it makes him groan and grab her harder. "Unngh-Bella-ungh..."
"I love you, Jacob," she whispers to him and removes one of his hands from her hips and intertwines their fingers and pushes their hands back behind them, pinning them to the tree.
He shuts his eyes and his mouth opens, pushing against her forehead, in a very pleasurable pain. "I-I-l-lo-ungh-love-Bellaa-ungh-y-yo-u."
She's moving faster, only a smidgen, still slowly but he feels himself tightening. "Yes," he hears her whisper at a barely audible pitch that only his supernatural hearing could pick up. "Jacob…my Jacob…."
He opens his eyes halfway and looks at her. The flush she should be sporting if she still had a beating heart is noticeably absent. But she's watching him adoringly through her own half-closed eyes. He grabs her and kisses her, moaning into her mouth.
Bella grinds against him harder in response, drawing more moans from his lips, but continues to move slowly.
He feels as if something big is about to happen, as if he's about to combust, break down and just die. He knows he's close but it's not connected to this feeling sitting inside his chest, getting heavier and heavier with each of her thrusts. Almost as if his body is about to give out, his own lungs choking him, refusing to let in air. It's so severe, it overtakes the pain, the pure pleasure she's giving him.
It worries him, thinking that this is it, Bella is really going to kill him just like he always knew she would someday. But he can't stop himself. If this is how it's going to happen, he can't imagine any other way he'd want to go. What better way than his soul mate, his real one, his love, making perfect heavenly love to him against their tree on the land he grew up on and protected well until his death?
Jacob feels it and it's crushing him. He's having trouble breathing. He breaks the kiss to gasp for air that he knows isn't coming.
Her hands work their way into his hair again and she once again places her forehead against his, staring into his eyes as she moves.
He grabs her face, wheezing helplessly, and pushes into her forehead more. "I-I-l-l-love y-you B-Bells-s. D-Don't y-y-ou ev-ver for-rget-t i-it. I-I ch-choose y-you. Al-ways. Alw-a-ys." He kisses her, making sure to give her his last breaths. He feels it, it's more painful than the actual imprint pain itself. It's so severe it makes him grunt loudly into her mouth. She tries to pull away but he holds her fast. He can't breathe, he's dying. This is it.
Bella's stopped moving, struggling to get free to see what's wrong. She can hear his heartbeat pounding out of control, he knows it.
He hears the wolf roar in fury and a deafening plea for self-preservation. He ignores it. He was hers first. Way before the wolf ever took over. He belongs to her. And that's how it will stay. That's how it will end.
He growls into her mouth, holds her tight and thrusts up into her repeatedly, each one a little harder than the last. She's screaming into his mouth but he knows it's more from her worry for him and struggle to get free than it is her pleasure. She knows something's wrong, knows something's happening.
Jacob can feel his heart pounding even faster as the weight crushes his chest, almost as if a 6 ton elephant is sitting on him. His lower body begins to tighten even further, still experiencing the pleasure amidst his life being snuffed out. He thrusts faster, holding her, keeping his lips glued to hers. She pushes back against him but he holds her. He feels the beginning pulse and the weight encapsulates his chest for good.
This is it. "I-I l-lo-lov-ve y-yo-u-u B-Be-lla-a." He covers her mouth with his one more time and thrusts up into her deeply. Then it happens. The final pulse. The pulse he was always meant to feel inside of her. The pulse that was always meant to be for them and them alone.
He needs to give her this last part of himself before he ends. Even though it won't come to fruition he just needs her to have this one last piece of him. She has everything else.
Jacob will always be hers. Always. Not even death will take that from him.
He spurts deep inside her, yelling into her mouth, a roar almost turning into a scream and the weight comes to claim him, stealing his breath and he swears he can hear a final sickening crack as it crushes him completely. Like a loud crack of thunder.
And just like that, the darkness engulfs him, overtaking him, and he's gone. He doesn't even hear her screaming his name or feel her grabbing his face. His limbs slacken and give out and he falls on his side to the ground, everything going black.
-STB-
Jacob awakes to a melodious tinkling of bells, his new favorite sound. "Jacob! Oh please! Jake, come on! Please wake up! Please!"
His eyes slowly open to find Bella hovering over him. He sees the evident worry on her face, her golden eyes flickering at every movement of his. He reaches up a hand to touch her face in reassurance. "Bells?"
"Thank God! Jake, I thought I lost you," she whispers in his ear as she engulfs him in a hug, nearly breaking his ribs, and holds him to her tightly.
He hugs her back and kisses her hair softly. "You're not getting rid of me that easily." He chuckles but she doesn't. He pulls back, caressing her cheek, searching her face for answers. He sees nothing but fear. He had really scared her. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you, honey. Come here." He pulls her to him gently and kisses her.
And that's when he notices it. There's no pain. No trembling. No wolf growling inside of him. Nothing. His eyes pop open and he draws back, gaping at Bella.
She stares at him in confusion. "What is it?"
"Bells, I need you to kiss me. Really kiss me. Right now. Kiss me like your life-er, my life depends on it. Kiss me."
Her brows mash together but she nods her assent and leans in, taking his lips in hers. She deepens the kiss and clenches her fists in his hair once more, pulling him closer.
No pain. Nothing. Jacob dares to think the name, her name, and yet…..nothing. Absolutely nothing.
He hears his heart beating faster when Bella straddles him once again, hears his rough breathing through his nose so he knows death hasn't taken him like he previously thought. He's not one of the undead, a quick thinking action on Bella's part somehow miraculously ignoring his werewolf blood. His heart is beating. And it's beating with a newfound strength for her. So why is it that the pain is gone?
He pulls back, breathless, and stares into her golden eyes. "I love you."
Bella smiles that smile that is his and his alone. "I love you, too." She places her forehead against his.
Nothing, no pain. He conjures up images from earlier, from the last nine years, and nothing. Not an ounce of feeling, good or bad. The only images that seem to stir up something inside his chest are of her. And her alone.
He feels lighter, happier. Freer. If this is a dream, he never wants to wake, holding onto his dream world and dream girl in eternal slumber. Where everything is as it should be. Where everything is as it's supposed to be.
Jacob smiles at her happily and she grins in return, staring at him in puzzlement. "What?"
He leans in and kisses her. "Thank you."
Bella laughs. "Oh-kay. For what? Almost killing you?"
"Yes."
She sits up and the smile wipes off her face. "That's not funny, Jake. Not funny at all. What are you even talking about?"
He strokes her hair tenderly with one hand and caresses her cheek with the other. "I chose you."
Amazing. Her skin is flawless, impenetrable and smoothed out for all eternity and yet, she is still able to get that minute crinkle in her forehead when she looks at him like he's finally gone off the deep end. Just like she's looking at him now. "What?"
Jacob leans in and whispers to her lips, "I chose you. And somehow, someone somewhere let me."
Her eyes widen and she pulls back to stare at him. "What? Jake, what are you saying?"
He lets the tear that's been begging to escape make its way onto his cheek, her eyes watching its free-fall. "I'm saying I'm yours, Bells. Completely yours. Just like I was always supposed to be."
Bella maintains her confused expression for a minute, though he's pretty sure with her frighteningly fast vampire mind she's put it together already, and sure enough, it lightens with her realization. Her mouth opens in shock. "You mean...?" He nods and lifts her hand to his heart, staring into her eyes. "Are you sure?"
He nods again, leans in and kisses her sweetly before pulling back to lift her hand to kiss it gently. He places it back over his heart. "It's yours. Only yours."
She looks ecstatic and horrified at the same time. And he knows why. He tenderly strokes the side of her face. "Let's not overthink this, Bells. Can we just enjoy the moment? Enjoy my accomplishmenthere?"
She nods slowly, still staring down at their joined hands on his chest.
Jacob moves his hand down to her chin, cups it gently and forces her eyes up to his. He smirks at her. "So, on the first date, huh? I never thought of you as that type of girl, Bells."
She frowns and smacks his chest with her free hand, making him laugh.
He knows he's averted the emotional crisis for now. They can deal with it all later. Right now, he just wants to hold her in his arms. Right where she belongs.
"This was not a date, Jacob Black."
"Oh, really? And why not?"
Bella glares at him. "No food, no movie, nothing romantic. We barely had a conversation."
He pulls her into him and holds her tightly. "That's true. You did jump my bones pretty fast there. Hmm, I think you're right. Now that you've had your way with me, I believe you should buy me dinner."
She continues to glare up at him, her arms crossed.
Jacob shrugs, smiling. "It's the least you can do." She smacks his arm and he laughs, kissing her forehead and hugging her tight.
He's done it. He can't believe it. He's actually done it. He feels a small twinge of guilt for the girl that will be heartbroken after this but he doesn't love her anymore. Not like that. He loves her. She belongs in his arms; not her. She belongs with him; not him. He feels the truth of it, the certainty, right down to the depths of his soul. There's no other way this could've happened. He just wishes it could have happened before he and Nessie had been intimate. That way she could avoid the heartbreak and pain that was sure to come later tonight when he tells her.
Regardless of whether Bella chooses him right now or not. He can't live a lie. He won't. It's not fair to her or him.
And Bella will choose him. It's only a matter of when. And he'll wait for her, even if he has to wait a few more decades, however long it takes. Because he knows. That's how it's supposed to be.
