Author's Note: This chapter and the first were originally one and then I broke them apart because it was a little bit long. I'm posting at the same time so you can read them at once or when you have time.


What If

"Hey Donna," CJ said walking off the television set. "What did you think? I don't think I did anything to incur too much of Josh's wrath."

"You did great," Donna affirmed. "Josh will be relieved."

"I have no doubt," CJ laughed.

"Donna, I'm going to need those notes on education before I go on," Helen Santos said as she passed by hurriedly.

"Hello Mrs. Santos," CJ said.

"Hi CJ," Helen said in passing. "You did a wonderful job. Franklin Hollis is really gunning for that Nobel Prize this year."

"Thank you, it's just another award to add to his collection I suppose," CJ said as she turned her body to follow the direction of Helen. As soon as she turned she felt that same head rush that she felt in the afternoon. She wobbled a little on her feet.

"Are you okay?" Donna asked noticing that CJ reached out to grab a nearby AV cart to steady her.

"Is it hot in here?" CJ asked absently.

"CJ?" Donna asked rushing closer to her and putting her hand on her back.

CJ looked at Donna and she could see that her mouth was moving, but no sound came out. All she heard was a high-pitched ringing before she was absently aware of her legs buckling from under her before the room went black.

"CJ? CJ can you hear me?" Donna asked.

CJ opened her eyes slowly and found that she was on the ground surrounded by ten people all staring at her.

"It's okay, she's awake," someone yelled.

"CJ, are you okay?" Donna asked. CJ could see the panic on Donna's face and it took her moment before she realized what had happened.

"I fainted?" CJ asked.

"Yeah," Donna said helping her to sit up slowly. "Are you okay?"

"I feel a little funny, but I'm fine," CJ said trying to stand. The crowd started to disperse from around them, but a few stragglers stayed near to watch and listen.

"No, don't stand," Donna said keeping her from getting up. "They're getting you some water."

"Donna, this is ridiculous, I'm fine," CJ protested.

"It's best if you take a moment ma'am," said the security guard on the set.

"What are you a doctor?" CJ asked.

"I'm a trained EMT," he said. "Just take a minute to get your bearings."

"Here Donna," a woman handed her a glass of water.

"Just sip it slowly," Donna said.

"I really don't think I fainted because I was dehydrated," CJ protested.

"Have you been feeling okay lately? Josh mentioned that you looked tired," Donna said.

"Not this again," CJ sighed sipping the water.

"Do you want to go to the hospital?"

"No, I'm really okay," CJ said.

"Let's call Danny and have him pick you up," Donna suggested.

"Danny is in Chicago," CJ said suddenly wishing he weren't. She wasn't sure what was going on, but she was starting to get worried.

"Oh right. I really think you should see a doctor though," Donna said worried.

"I will. Tomorrow," CJ said handing Donna the glass of water and standing slowly.

"How do you feel now?"

"Embarrassed," CJ said. "Suddenly I'm one of those women in a Harlequin romance novel who swoons when it gets too warm. How many people saw that?"

"Not many," Donna lied. CJ gave her a hard look knowing that she had not told her the truth. "Okay, probably about 30."

"Great," CJ sighed.

"Are you sure you're okay? You fell pretty hard," Donna said.

"Yeah, I kind of felt that," CJ said rubbing her arm, which had taken the brunt of the fall.

"I think you should stay with someone tonight," Donna suggested.

"Donna," CJ started to protest before Donna cut her off.

"No excuses," Donna said. "Danny is out of town and you're coming to my hotel room tonight. I'll take you to the doctor tomorrow."

"I'm sure Josh will be thrilled," CJ commented.

"Josh isn't staying with me. We can have a girl's night. It'll be like the one we had when I first came back to D.C. only this time we'll have a mini bar."

CJ wanted to protest. She wanted to tell Donna that she was a big girl and that she could handle herself. However, between the constant lethargy and the fainting she knew in her heart that there was something wrong. She didn't know what it was but going home alone didn't seem like the smartest choice.

"Fine," CJ sighed. "But why don't you just come to my place? I have plenty of room."

"And I don't want to hear about how you can take care of this yourself because you just fainted," Donna continued.

"Donna I said okay," CJ said.

"You did?"

"I did."

"Wow, that almost never happens," Donna said. "I've heard stories about you giving in, but I've never actually witnessed it."

"Funny," CJ said sarcastically. "I'm gonna go sit over there."

"Okay," Donna nodded. "We'll go to your place after this. I have to go get some notes for the First Lady."

"Yeah, don't worry about me," CJ nodded. "Hey Donna, thanks."

"You're welcome."

Helen's interview was over in about a half hour and then Donna and CJ were on their way. It had been years since they'd spent time together. Just as CJ's career in the White House was winding down, Donna's was gearing up. CJ and Donna would talk occasionally, but their relationship wasn't as close as it used to be. Of course no one who worked on the Bartlet campaign was particularly close anymore. They had all gone their separate ways.

"I really appreciate this Donna," CJ said as they entered her place.

"Don't mention it," Donna said sincerely. "I'm sure Danny wouldn't want you staying alone tonight."

"Probably not," CJ agreed.

"You should probably call him," Donna said.

"Yeah," CJ said. "Knowing Danny he'll probably want to fly home."

"Maybe he should," Donna said.

"No, he shouldn't. I'm sure it's nothing. My body is probably just going into atrophy from lack of use. I haven't been eating that great and I don't workout as much anymore. It would make sense."

"Sure," Donna said skeptically.

"You don't agree," CJ said picking up on Donna's tone.

"It could be nothing," Donna said.

"So why call Danny home for nothing?" CJ asked.

"CJ, you fainted," Donna reminded her. "I'd say something is going on, even if it's a small something."

"So I should call Danny home for a small something?" CJ asked.

"He'd want to be here if you got a paper cut."

"I guess it wouldn't kill me to call him," CJ relented. "The guest room is the first door on the right. There are some extra pajamas in the dresser."

"Thanks," Donna said.

CJ waited until she heard the door to the guest room shut before she reached for the phone to call Danny. She knew that he would be immediately concerned and she didn't want to worry him. Most likely there was nothing to be concerned about. However, deep down inside she wondered what was wrong. She dialed Danny's cell phone number and waited impatiently for him to answer.

"Hey beautiful," he said.

"You know this is your wife and not your girlfriend calling right?" CJ teased him.

"I know," Danny replied. "Besides, I made sure my wife and my girlfriend are both stunning. What's up?"

"How did your lecture go?" CJ asked.

"One down, three to go," he replied. "It went well."

"That's good."

"How was the interview?"

"The usual. I made my case and managed not to irritate Josh."

"That's my girl," Danny said. "Are you okay?"

"If I had a dime for every time someone asked me that today we could retire," CJ said.

"What's going on?" Danny asked. She could hear the concern in his voice. He could vacillate between banter and concern so well.

"I don't want you to worry," CJ started.

"What happened?" he asked even more alarmed.

"I finished the interview and I was talking to Donna," CJ said. "I felt a little light-headed and I ended up getting a little warm and I swooned a bit."

"You swooned a bit?" Danny asked. "You passed out?"

"I wouldn't classify it that way, but other people seemed to think--"

"You fainted?" Danny asked more forcefully.

"Yes," CJ sighed.

"Did they take you to the hospital? Are you alright? I need to come home. I'll cancel the talks and reschedule them for another time."

"No, Danny, I don't want you to do that," CJ said. "I'm okay now. I feel fine. I was with Donna and she offered to stay with me so I'm not alone. I'm going to see my doctor tomorrow."

"I knew there was something wrong," Danny said. "You've been so tired lately and then you were sick last night. I'm coming home."

"Danny, don't come home," CJ insisted. "You've had this scheduled and there's no reason to come if it's nothing. Can you imagine canceling these talks and then it turns out I have the flu or something?"

"Is that what you think it is?"

"I don't know," CJ said. "I'll be okay."

"You know we're married now," Danny said. "We're supposed to do these things together."

"I know," CJ said. "I'm not being independent and head-strong, I promise."

She waited a beat before she added, "Well maybe I am a little, but I promise if I thought there was anything terribly wrong I would tell you."

"But you're not a doctor Claudia Jean," Danny reminded her.

"Uh-oh the full name," CJ said. "Am I in that much trouble?"

She was trying to use humor as she had so many times before, to diffuse the seriousness of the situation.

"This isn't funny," Danny said seriously.

"I'm not laughing," CJ replied.

"Fine," Danny sighed. "Let me talk to Donna."

"What?"

"I want to talk to Donna."

"Why? Because I'm her convalescent ward?"

"CJ," he said warningly.

"I can take care of myself you know," CJ said forcefully.

"I don't doubt that, but I'd like to speak to Donna," Danny said keeping a level head.

"Fine," she said walking to the spare bedroom and knocking on the door. She handed Donna the phone without a word once she appeared.

"Hello?" Donna said.

"Hi Donna, its Danny."

"Hey Danny," Donna said.

"Is she okay?"

"She looks okay. She says she's okay," Donna replied.

"I really appreciate you staying with her," Danny said.

"Don't mention it," Donna said. "When she said you were out of town it was the first thing I thought of."

"You're taking her to the doctor tomorrow?"

"First thing," Donna told him.

"Donna," Danny said seriously. "I know she's strong-willed and independent, but will you call me after the appointment?"

"I'm sure CJ will," Donna said.

"Yeah, she'll call me and tell me that everything is fine even if it's not," Danny said knowingly. "She doesn't want me to worry or cut my trip short."

"That's probably true," Donna agreed.

"So, will you call me?" Danny appealed to her.

"Sure," Donna said.

"Thanks. So now that I've forced her to let me talk to you what do you think my odds are that she'll get back on the phone to talk to me?" Danny asked.

Donna looked up and saw that CJ was leaning against the wall with her arms crossed over her chest. She looked tired and irritated by the fact that Danny had insisted on talking to Donna.

"Well I'd say you might have a 60-40 chance," Donna said biting her lip. "CJ, Danny wants to talk to you."

"Gee I don't know if I should lift the phone to my ear," CJ groused. "I'm a frail woman after all. It could cause me to pass out again."

"I may have overshot when I said 60-40," Donna informed Danny.

CJ decided to relent and she walked over to Donna and held out her hand. Donna quickly said good bye to Danny and placed the phone in her hand.

"What?" CJ said grumpily.

"Nothing," Danny said. "I just wanted to tell you that I love you and I miss you and that you better call me tomorrow after you're done at the doctor."

"I will," CJ said.

"I mean it Claudia Jean. Don't mess me around," Danny said forcefully. It wasn't often that he put his foot down. He usually allowed CJ to be who she was, but this was different. He was worried and anxious and he needed to know she was going to be okay.

"Okay," CJ suppressing a smile.

"Are you laughing?" he asked detecting the smile on her face.

"No," she lied. "I'm smiling. You make me smile."

"You make me want to do a header off the top of my hotel," Danny said brightening. "But I love you anyway."

"Me too," CJ said. "I promise to call you tomorrow."

"Okay," he said. "Get some rest."

"Goodnight," CJ said.

"'night," Danny replied.

CJ hung up the phone and glanced over at Donna. She pretended to be busy going through her bag, but CJ knew better than to think she hadn't listened to her side of the conversation.

"He's worried," CJ said after clicking the phone off.

"Well he's far away," Donna pointed out. "He loves you and he's worried."

"Yeah," CJ agreed rubbing her hands over her face. She waited a moment before she said anything. "Do you think there's something seriously wrong?"

Donna looked at CJ. She was holding it together and playing the usual, strong CJ, but Donna could see her eyes. She was worried. She was frightened that there was something seriously wrong with her.

"I think going to the doctor tomorrow is the best thing you can do," Donna said. "Aside from the fainting do you feel okay?"

"I've been tired lately," CJ admitted. "I was chalking it up to being lazy, but now I'm not so sure. I was sick last night. Danny and I had some Chinese food and I got a little sick. In fact my stomach has been very unsettled lately. I think I'm falling apart. I thought leaving the White House was going to be good for my health."

"I'm sure you're fine," Donna said. "It's probably nothing."

"Yeah," CJ said taking a bite of her sandwich. "I'm gearing up to do some lobbying for the midterms. It's probably nerves."

Donna nodded and looked over at her friend. She hoped that CJ was right, but somehow she didn't think so.


"Hi CJ," Dr. Wilson said not gazing up from her chart.

She breezed into the room in her usual fashion, which put CJ at ease. It wasn't often that CJ was at the doctor, but when she was it always made her feel better to know that her doctor was always slightly preoccupied with something more important than her. It somehow made her feel that there was nothing terribly wrong because if there were something wrong her doctor would give her undivided attention.

"Hello," CJ said nervously. She unconsciously tugged at her necklace.

"So," Dr. Wilson said reading the chart. "It says here you fainted yesterday."

"Yeah," CJ affirmed.

"Was that the first time that happened?" the doctor asked as she took a seat on the small stool in front of her. She put down the clip board and gave CJ all her attention.

"Yeah," CJ said swallowing hard. She was suddenly nervous. "I felt kind of funny earlier in the day, but it passed and then later I passed out."

"You say you felt funny? How?" Dr. Wilson pressed.

"Um, I was sitting at the kitchen table. I stood up to clear some dishes and I felt kind of dizzy I guess."

"Okay," Dr. Wilson said. The doctor listened to CJ's heart for a moment. She then proceeded to examine her glands. The doctor made small talk while she went about the examination.

"How's Danny doing?" she asked.

"He's doing very well," CJ said. "He's in Chicago lecturing this week."

"Married life agreeing with you?" she asked.

"Surprisingly, yes," CJ smiled.

"That's good," Dr. Wilson said as she finished up her physical exam. "So the nurse tells me you've been lethargic lately."

"Well, tired," CJ allowed. "I'm not sleeping all the time. I just kind of feel a lack of energy. Is it serious?"

"Well you haven't been out of the country lately so I think we can rule out African Sleeping Sickness," Dr. Wilson said with a chortle.

CJ, not in the mood to joke, just stared at her.

"I'm kidding," Dr. Wilson clarified. "Anything else I should know about?"

CJ almost laughed at the question. There was a time in the not-so distant past where the question 'anything else I should know' and 'anything else I need to know' were a very big deal.

"I was sick yesterday too," CJ replied. "Last night. And also last Tuesday. I think it might have been some bad Chinese food or nerves. I thought I might have the flu at first but I haven't been running a fever. Things have been a little crazy at work lately."

The doctor picked up CJ's chart one more time and gave it a glance. "I'm going to take some blood and we'll see what comes up. At this point…wait a minute."

"What?" CJ asked alarmed. It had seemed as if Dr. Wilson was going to give her some sort of preliminary medical opinion before she read something on her chart.

"Well I know what test I'm running first," Dr. Wilson chuckled.

"What? What test are you running first?" CJ pressed.

"Last date of last period," Dr. Wilson read. "December 12."

"Yeah?" CJ asked.

"I'm running a pregnancy test CJ," Dr. Wilson said simply. "It's March 13."

"I'm not pregnant," CJ scoffed.

"You've missed at least two periods," Dr. Wilson said. "You didn't think that was odd?"

"I'm 46 years old," CJ replied. "I figured it was menopause."

"Why would you assume that?"

"I'm 46 years old," CJ repeated.

Dr. Wilson chuckled slightly. "I understand, but you're still a healthy woman CJ. You haven't experienced any symptoms of menopause. If you suspected it why didn't you come to see me?"

"I don't know," CJ said. "It wasn't like I was disappointed to miss a period or two."

"Well I'll get Violet in here and we'll run the test, just to rule it out," Dr. Wilson said a little patronizing.

"You think that's what it is, don't you? You think I'm pregnant," CJ asked almost as alarmed as when she thought she had some dread disease.

"If I had to put money on it," Dr. Wilson said. "I'd go all in."

"Well you're wrong," CJ insisted. "Pregnant women don't faint."

"How many kids have you had?" Dr. Wilson asked.

"None," CJ admitted.

"Then how would you know what pregnant women do and do not do?"

"I…I don't know," CJ said feebly.

"Let's run the test and go from there," Dr. Wilson said.

"Okay," CJ said still in shock.

"The lab is a little backed up today," Dr. Wilson told her. "We'll take the blood, run the test and I'll give you a call as soon as I know anything."

"I have to wait hours?" CJ asked. "Can't I just go to the drug store and buy a test?"

"Sure," the doctor agreed. "If you have to know now you can, or you can wait for me to confirm it, or you can do both."

"Great," CJ said plastering on a fake smile.

"I'll give you a call later tonight," Dr. Wilson told her as she opened the door to the exam room.

The nurse came in and drew some blood. CJ sat watched as she walked out of the room with the vial that contained the answer to the most important question of her life. She took a moment before she gathered her things and walked out of the exam room.

Donna saw CJ exit the exam room and she stood up immediately. CJ looked like she was in shock and Donna prayed that the news wasn't bad.

"CJ," she said as she approached her. "Are you okay?"

"I'm," CJ thought a moment. "I'm, uh, I'm a little stunned right now."

"Stunned?" Donna asked. Stunned wasn't a word she would use to describe a deadly disease and figured CJ wouldn't either.

"Donna, I hate to ask you this," CJ said. "Would you mind stopping at the drug store on the way back to my place?"

"Do you need to get a prescription?" Donna asked as she threw on her coat and began to walk behind CJ out of the office.

"No, I need a pregnancy test," CJ said as the door closed behind them.


Donna sat outside CJ's bathroom door and waited. She couldn't quite wrap her mind around the concept. CJ certainly wasn't too old to have children, but it was clear to Donna that she had never really thought seriously about having any.

"Well," CJ opening the door. "I guess we have about three minutes."

"Are you sure you don't just want to wait for the doctor to call?" Donna asked. "I mean, I realize it's probably too late now, but they're doing the test too."

"Their lab is backed up and I can't wait to find out for sure," CJ said. "How is this even a possibility?"

The question was more rhetorical than not, but Donna didn't pick up on that cue and she began to answer CJ.

"Well you and Danny had to stay apart for a long time," she began. "I'm sure you were just making up for lost time and the amount of sex you were probably having in conjunction with the odds of getting pregnant were probably just too much to overcome."

CJ gave Donna a look and it was then that she realized that the question wasn't meant to be answered.

"Sorry," Donna said with a small sheepish grin. "You probably knew that."

"I can't believe this is happening," CJ said.

"You'd probably rather have Danny here," Donna said.

"Actually I think Danny has done quite enough," CJ quipped.

Donna suppressed a giggle until she noticed that CJ looked even more concerned than before.

"CJ?" she said.

"I'm fine," CJ lied looking away.

"CJ," Donna said sympathetically.

"It's just that now was supposed to be my time you know?" CJ said. "I'm a selfish person. I gave up my life for the last eight years and this was the beginning of my new life just being able to do whatever I wanted."

CJ's eyes began to well up slightly, though she expertly made certain that the tears didn't roll down her cheeks.

"I'm too old for this," she continued. "I'm 46. Danny and I have never even talked about kids. It never even came up."

"It'll be okay," Donna said putting her arm around CJ's shoulder. "And you're not selfish. It's not selfish to want to have time to yourself. Everything will work out. "

"I almost killed Gail," CJ said suddenly thinking of the numerous times she forgot to feed her fish, or of the time she knocked the fish bowl off her desk. "If Carol hadn't been around I would have forgotten to feed her. How can I have a kid when I could barely feed a fish?"

"I don't think you can forget to feed a child," Donna pointed out. "They have enormous lung capacity for just that type of occasion."

"Yeah," CJ replied. "I guess they do."

CJ wiped her eyes with the back of her hand and sniffed. "What if I am Donna? What if Danny doesn't want kids? We never talked about it. Not once."

"I think that if you are pregnant that Danny will be ecstatic," Donna said supportively.

"Can you just imagine a kid with Danny's red hair and my laugh running around town?"

"I can," Donna said with a small smile.

"It'll probably have freckles," CJ said as if she were now seriously thinking about it. "I had these awful freckles when I was little. Thankfully I outgrew them eventually."

"I think freckles are cute," Donna said supportively.

"I guess if it's a boy, he'd have a pretty good shot at making the basketball team," CJ joked. "Although if he inherited my coordination I suppose it might be a challenge."

Donna just smiled supportively, unsure of what to say. CJ went from freaking out about the possibility of being pregnant to ruminating on what her baby might look like. Overall Donna took that as a very positive sign.

"I guess it's time?" CJ asked.

"Yeah," Donna replied after checking her watch.

CJ walked into the bathroom and gazed at the tests sitting on the counter. Donna, unsure whether she should follow CJ into the bathroom, hung back for a moment before entering. She surveyed the three tests on the counter.

"You took three?" Donna asked.

"I wanted to be sure," CJ admitted.

"And?" Donna asked.

"It turns out I'm pregnant," CJ confirmed.

Donna stepped up to the counter and saw all the assorted tests came up positive. She glanced at CJ out of the corner of her eye and she was smiling.

TBC