-whoops i realized i forgot to state that this is really a relationship story not a case story so if you're into that then great(:-

Will

My heart sinks a little bit, but not because of what she did. She did something wrong, and she sprinted back home, bounded up the steps, tucked our child into bed and then confessed her sin.

I didn't even have the balls to man up and confess what I did.

"I'm so sorry," she cries.

I take her hand and we sit down on the edge of the bed.

"I cheated too, JJ," I say quietly.

It doesn't come as a shock to her. After all, she was a profiler.

"I know. Thrice. With that girl at the coffeehouse."

I swallow uncomfortably. We sit in complete silence and I wonder if this was going to be the end of our marriage. She rests her head on my shoulder and I sling my arm around her waist.

We fit together so perfectly, so how can something so perfect go so wrong?

And it wasn't that we didn't love each other. I did. I loved her more than anything else in the world. I have never and will never ever stop loving her – of that I was a hundred percent certain.

Then why couldn't we find comfort in each other's arms? We both knew we loved each other, so what was the problem?

It took me a really long time to figure this out, but love is not knowledge. Love is feeling. And we were so caught up in our own lives that we forgot how to feel.

"So is this how we end?" she asks hesitantly.

"Jesus Christ I hope not." I say.

"You know it will be so much simpler if I didn't love you," she says, half-laughing.

I chuckle.

"Yeah, that would be a hell lot easier."

I look at her for what seems like a century. I have caught glimpses of her over the past few years – her hair flying across the doorframe as she left for work; half of her face tucked in her pillow when she was fast asleep; when her head was slightly tilted as she kissed me.

But I haven't properly looked at her for a really, really long time.

And boy was she beautiful.

I forgot what I fell in love with.

"It doesn't have to end this way, JJ. It doesn't have to."

She's looking at me and there is so much hope in her eyes. She is almost begging me to give her a solution. I don't have a solution. But I have her. And I'm not going to let her go. Ever.

Her eyes slowly turn dreary as the silence wears on.

"I don't know a lot of things. But I do know that I love you and I know that we don't have to end as a sad story. I don't know how we're supposed to get through this but let's start with this," I say quietly, pausing at the end.

I lean down and kiss her gently.

"I love you."

And it was as simple and as complicated as that.

The next morning, she lies and calls in sick, something she hasn't done since she joined the squad, really.

We sent Henry to school together – a new first.

Then we just spent time together. We really spent time together, instead of the usual – her crouched in the corner, her forehead creased as she flipped through pages and pages of documents and me slacking on the couch, humoring Henry.

I have come to realize that spending time together doesn't mean being in the same room together.

We visited the park, we had a sit down proper lunch, we went shopping – she told me about her work and I told her about mine. Well, the unclassified parts of it.

It was a really nice day. And we hadn't shared days like this in a long time.

I can't remember how and when but it just slowly stopped. She couldn't make space in her schedule for me and I didn't work hard enough to deserve her time. We co-existed in harmony but that was all.

I can't remember when we stopped fighting. But I remember how much I missed those fights. I missed the way she used to push me away after we fought. I missed the way she threw out the pillow and made me sleep on the couch. I missed the way she would come out in the middle of the night and cuddle with me on the couch before sneaking back into our room. I missed the way she apologized – so softly, almost as if she hoped I didn't hear it. I missed the way she fought for, with and because of me.

And I missed the way she used to come home – worn out, unwilling to speak – and all she wanted and needed to do was hold me and all I needed to do was tell her that she was loved. Now all she does is crumble on to the bed or drink.

I missed all those things. I really did.

I can scratch my brains trying to find all the good memories we had but I can tell you easily all the bad ones we shared – the bad ones we made it through.

So I have no idea why I started flirting with the barista at the Starbucks down the street. I have no idea why I asked her for her number. I am even more clueless as to why I called her one night and went to her place. Thrice.

Maybe I just forgot how love was supposed to be. I forgot the chase. I forgot the sweet nothings and the flowers and the balloons and holding her hand as I walked her home. I forgot the nights under the stars and I forgot what it feels like to be so alive. I forgot how fast my heart beat every time I laid eyes on her. I forgot the butterflies in my stomach when she leaned into me.

Maybe that's why I tried to relive all these things with another girl. I don't even know her name. I slept with someone to try and get all these feelings back but I couldn't.

And I think I know why.

Because that girl isn't JJ.

And I don't want that girl.

I want JJ.

*read and review please* :D