Wow. Brand-new story, 58 visitors already. I love you guys! Although only three of you reviewed . . .

Anyhow, moving onto fail number two.

If you like this, you might want to look at my other fic- In Truth, None of it Was Fiction.

That's all. Moving on!

-o_o-

2) Mistake Red Water for Red Wine . . . and Drink it

In the tiny town of Xenotime:

"Brother, I don' think doing this again is a good idea!" Alphonse cautioned his reckless older brother.

"Nonsense, Al! That's exactly why we're doing it!" Edward told him, peering around the corner of the old brick building.

That isn't exactly comforting, Al thought dryly.

They were trying to sneak into the workplace of the fake Elric brothers once again. Ed had ignored the fact that they had easily been kicked out the first time, and had dragged Al back once again to try to infiltrate the place. It was easier said than done.

A small clang rang out clearly into the crisp night air as Al shifted. He was quickly told off with a loud "Shhhh!" from his brother.

You put on a seven-foot suit of armor and try to be silent, he mentally grumbled, It isn't as easy as one might think!

Ed clapped his hands and made to transmute a hole in the wall, but Al quickly stopped him.

"Idiot! Brother, transmutations make light! We'd get caught even faster than last time!"

"Oh, right," Edward said dumbly. "Okay, fine. Follow me!"

Clang, clang, clang, clang, went Al's armor as he ran after his brother. If the fake Elrics' mansion hadn't been so far removed from the town, he thought he would've woken everyone up! As it was, he had probably already alerted the fake Elrics to their presence . . .

The two stopped at the front door.

"Okay, Al. Here's the plan. I'll climb in through one of the windows, and you can wait out here for the signal. When I give the signal you-" Ed was cut off short. "What are you doing?"

Alphonse had moved forward, placing one hand on the doorknob to the mansion. Tentatively, he turned it. Feeling no resistance, he pushed gently on the door, which swung open.

"We could just try the front door," he suggested.

" . . . Or we could just try the front door," Edward lamented sheepishly as he followed his brother inside.

The two made their way up to the fake Elrics' workroom without encountering anybody. To their surprise, a small tea table had been set in the middle of the room, accompanied by two chairs.

"Brother?" Al asked, "I don't like this . . ."

Ed walked further into the room. When he got closer, he could see that there was a bottle on the table as well as two glasses.

"Al, look! I think that they were just having a drink!" he exclaimed, pointing to the setup.

I don't trust this, Al thought. He watched as his brother poured a red liquid out of the bottle and into one of the glasses.

"It looks like red wine!"

"Brother, I don't think it's-"

Alphonse looked on in horror as Ed took a small sip from the glass. He wrinkled his nose, coughing.

"I don't think I like alcohol all that much."

"Brother! Have you forgotten what these people's research is about?"

"Well, yeah! It's red . . . water . . ." he looked at the small glass in horror. "You mean to say-"

He couldn't finish his sentence as another coughing fit hit him. And another. And another. He dropped the glass to the floor, where it shattered. He began gasping for breath. His eyes widened, before rolling to the back of his head as he passed out.

"Brother! Are you dead? Please don't be dead!" he exclaimed. He was relieved when he heard small, rasping breaths coming from his brother.

"Gleepbor . . . Flaphingoid . . ." Ed mumbled breathily. "Allash . . . klarmyn dallash . . ."

"Oh, thank God," Alphonse said, although puzzled at the gibberish that his brother had answered him with. He would be okay.

-o_o-

Meanwhile, outside the door, there were two very unhappy identity thieves.

"Damn!" Russell Tringham swore softly, "If only he had drunk more! Then we could truly be the Elric brothers!"

"But . . . Alphonse didn't drink any, so it would still be a lost cause," Fletcher pointed out. "Face it, brother. Assassination attempts just aren't the way to go, and we just wasted a bunch of red water!"

"Shut up!" the elder Tringham snapped. "I'm still mourning my failure here!"

"Your loss. I didn't have anything to do with this idea," Fletcher told his older brother. "That makes Me: 1, You: 0."

"Don't rub it in," Russell said sullenly.

After recovering, whenever someone offered Edward a glass of red wine, he vigorously denied the offer and watched warily as everyone else drank. He was often labeled a creeper at many parties . . . but only behind his back.

-o _o-

I don't know if this one is as funny as the other one, but still . . . it's kinda an epic fail. Originally, I was gonna have Ed die . . . but I wasn't really heartless enough to do that . . .

Next up is number three, dealing with . . . one-ton weights.

Reviews keep me going. If people don't review, then I think people don't like, therefore updates are few and far between.

Sayonara!