A/N: So, here we have a second chapter. I'm usually pretty good with grammar, but all of the interrupted dialogue I've written this time round has turned my brain to mush. Please excuse any glaring errors. I'll catch them on another run through.
Also, there will be citrus soon. I only deny you now to provide something better later. Enjoy!
Misaki was entirely unsure if he was making the right decision. The prospect of what he was about to do made him feel ill with worry. He only knew it had to be done, despite what he possibly stood to lose. Trying to find some solace, Misaki reminisced on the series of events that had finalized his decision to go through with it.
...
Unsure and more than a little insecure, that was the best way to describe Takahashi Misaki. At least until a few months prior. A simple shift, something new, and it were as if he finally wore a pair of shoes that fit. The change was subtle at first, tentative, then became more prominent as the weeks passed.
It began with a small growth spurt and notice of his department posting at Murakawa. While he was filled with utter joy, it also imbued the boy with more insecurities. Returning home from a meeting at the publishing house he immediately found himself encased in the strong arms of his own author.
"Mmm," Usagi purred into his ear, "Welcome home, Misaki."
"U-usagi-san!" Misaki struggled, unsuccessfully trying to pry himself from the iron grasp.
"What's the verdict?" Usagi asked, running his hot tongue along the rim of Misaki's ear.
"Nnn,- - t-the Emerald Division." Misaki panted in reply.
Usagi held Misaki out at arms length, a bright smile plastered across his face. "Congratulations, Misaki."
Misaki blushed, and lowered his head at the unabashed display of pride, "It's not a big deal," he muttered, "I already knew I would be a full time employee after I graduate."
Usagi waved a hand dismissively. "Nonsense. Now it's time to celebrate."
Expecting another barrage of sexual advances, Misaki was surprised when Usagi went to the kitchen and produced a few bottles of wine. He poured two glasses and returned to Misaki, handing one to him. "Don't hold back. Tonight is for you, Misaki."
...
Misaki shuddered, remembering the hangover 'don't hold back' had induced. Gathering his books, Misaki made his way from the lecture hall, bidding farewell to Professor Kamijou as he went. A man he would never have willingly engaged before.
Weaving his way through the hallways of Mitsuhashi University, Misaki continued in his thoughts. He had entirely too much wine that evening, and given that he was a lightweight in the first place didn't help matters.
...
"Takano-san is a well respected editor in the publishing world, Misaki. I'm certain you will accomplish great things under his tutelage," Usagi said with confidence, taking another sip of his wine.
"Nooo," Misaki whined. "People are fine, just-that's not the issue." He had splayed himself across one of the pink couches, scratching his stomach, the skin partially exposed. It was a wonder Usagi-san hadn't completely ravished him several times over already.
"Then what is the issue, Misaki?"
Sitting up with some difficulty, Misaki slouched with his elbows resting on his jean clad knees, head hung low, "Shoujo manga," he muttered under his breath.
"Sorry?"
Snapping his head forward, Misaki spit the words out, "Shoujo manga, Usagi-san! Girl's stuff! I don't know the first thing 'bout it!" The last bit of the sentence found Misaki pouting before reaching for his glass and taking a large swallow of wine.
Usagi snickered, apparently unable to help himself despite his young lover's distress. "You should have plenty to go by, Misaki."
"The hell?" Misaki asked, cocking an eyebrow over an unfocused eye.
"Aren't we lovey dovey enough, Mi - sa - ki?" Usagi smirked, purposely drawling out the syllables, then pausing to take another long sip of wine. "Especially the fucking. Yes, you have lots to go by there."
Misaki picked up a book off the coffee table just so he could throw it down in frustration, "No, Usagi-san! I'm not a girl! I'm EVERY bit a man as you! I could romance a girl if I wanted to. Hell, I could romance you!" he shouted, standing now and pointing Usagi down, not caring if his words had anything to do with what Usagi said. The implications were enough and Misaki's insecurities came flying out in a flurry.
"Pfft!" Usagi hid his grin behind a large hand as though trying to contain the raucous laughter that could escape any moment.
"What? Whaaat?" Misaki whined, stomping a foot.
"Like hell you could. You can't even kiss me properly."
"I can so!"
Usagi shot him a serious glare, and Misaki knew the challenge was very real. "Prove it."
...
Misaki sighed as he stepped out into the university courtyard. He flushed despite himself. That night had been nothing short of disastrous. He never understood until that moment the pressure involved in physically pleasuring someone he cared for so much. Turning away from the University Misaki checked his phone to make sure he was still on time for the meeting with his brother. Seeing that he was ahead of schedule Misaki took a deep breath, heading in the direction of the chosen cafe. Hoping he could keep his courage up, Misaki distracted himself by continuing to reminisce.
...
Misaki sunk back down into the couch, arms folded and pouting. He thought Usagi-san would say something more, to egg him on in some manner, but nothing came. The author just closed his eyes and tasted his wine, savouring the robust flavour. 'What is he playing at?' Misaki wondered suspiciously.
Usagi opened his eyes and reached for the wine bottle, pouring himself another glass. He paused after setting the bottle down and regarded Misaki with a gentle smile, "Do you like the wine?" Usagi turned the bottle so he could read the label, allowing it to grate against the glass table. "I believe 1982 was a good year for this wine," he said. With a happy sigh Usagi leaned back and tipped the glass to his lips. For some reason this enraged Misaki.
"What the hell?!"
Violet eyes blinked in surprise, "Is something the matter?" Usagi looked to his wine glass then back to Misaki. "Hmm? Do you not like it? I have some '86, if you'd prefer. Though I'd like to let that one age a bit longer."
What was with the frivolous conversation? Had they not just broached a serious subject? Misaki watched as Usagi shrugged and set down his wine glass, then made to stand, no doubt to retrieve a different bottle of wine. Did he have such little confidence in Misaki that he'd already brushed off the notion? Misaki felt his blood boil, and as the author walked past Misaki shot to his feet and grabbed him by the forearm causing him to turn abruptly. Forcing all rational thought and protest from his mind, Misaki leaned forward and pressed his lips to Usagi's.
The kiss was short lived and sloppy, but he had done it. Misaki parted from the author's lips panting furiously. Turning his head to the side, Misaki covered his mouth with a hand as a deep heat crawled to the very tips of his hair. He stood like that for a moment, anticipating a response. Receiving none he slowly brought his eyes up to meet the radiant smile that beamed down at him.
"You did it," the author whispered gently, something akin to relief in his tone. He reached a hand to Misaki's shoulder and squeezed lightly, appreciatively. Misaki's eyes opened wide in realization. Had Usagi-san been waiting all those years for a simple kiss? Was Misaki's reciprocation, or lack thereof, a source of pain and insecurity for the rabbit? He felt his blush fade away and a tightness crawl into his chest. He didn't want his Usagi-san to feel that uncertainty. He wanted Usagi to know that he was capable of loving him.
Apparently satisfied that Misaki's kiss was all the confirmation he needed, Usagi let go of his shoulder and turned back to his previous task. Seeing this Misaki gripped his hand desperately before he lost all of his inebriated nerve.
"What is it?" Usagi asked in concern.
Misaki looked to where his hand clamped around Usagi's larger one. "I-I'd like to do more," he said around the lump in his throat. He peered up at surprised violet eyes and stuttered, "T-that is if you want to."
"Misaki, of course I-"
"-just not here," Misaki mumbled, looking around the lower floor of the flat. It was too bright, and sounds traveled too easily, he knew. Raising his eyes to the stairs he continued, "your room."
...
"Misaki!"
Misaki looked up, torn from his thoughts at the sound of his name, seeing his brother waving and jogging down the street toward him. Misaki's heart lept into his chest in a nervous knot. But his smile belayed none of this. Today was it. He would tell his brother outright, pulling no punches, that he would be staying at Usagi-san's side. Misaki gulped as his brother drew closer. He could do it, right?
"Nii-chan!" Misaki said, mustering his new found courage, trying to rein it in for his use. "You didn't have to run." He said with a frown at his brother's crouched form as he sought to catch his breath.
Righting himself Takahiro replied, "I didn't want to keep you wai—Ah!" he suddenly gripped Misaki by the shoulders taking in the boy's appearance, "You really did grow!"
Misaki shook his brother off and complained with a huff, "Only a few centimeters. And, it's been six months since you last saw me!"
Takahiro scratched the back of his head and laughed easily, "Ah, haha. Gomen, gomen."
"No, it's ok," Misaki replied, feeling bad that he'd snapped at the aloof man. It wasn't how he wanted to start the conversation and his nerves were already getting the best of him, "you have work and Mahiro." Looking to a nearby café, their agreed upon meeting spot, Misaki gestured toward it hoping to move away from the unnecessary unease he felt mounting. "Let's go inside?"
"Sure," Takahiro beamed, patting his brother on the back.
Choosing a table near a window, they took their seats. They spoke easily of school, work, and Mahiro's antics. Their waitress eventually returned to refill their tea and to take their order for desserts.
"And will this be on one bill, sir?" the waitress asked, her attention set on Takahiro. Takahiro opened his mouth to respond but wasn't able to when Misaki answered her first.
"Yes, please," Misaki said.
"Oh, certainly, sir," she replied, now smiling at Misaki, and went to fetch their desserts.
"Misaki?" Takahiro inquired.
Knowing full well where this conversation was headed Misaki interjected. " I've been working, Nii-san, and you know Usagi-san won't allow me to pay the rent, so let me treat you today."
"Ok," Takahiro smiled, taking a sip of his tea. A terse silence fell between them for a moment and Misaki felt the weight of the impending conversation heavily bearing down on him. Misaki waited for the inevitable 'speaking of which' and 'when are you moving out?' but it never came. The waitress returned to set their desserts in front of them and left. Misaki stared at it for a long moment, wringing his hands beneath the table. Taking a deep breath he decided to venture forth with the conversation of his own accord.
"Um, Nii-san?" Misaki looked up to his brother only to find the elder looking back at him thoughtfully, a gentle, knowing smile on his face.
Seeing the boy's hesitation and tribulation, Takahiro urged him on, "Yes?" He picked at the dessert in front of him, attempting to appear neutral.
Misaki frowned in confusion. It seemed as though his brother were in on some secret he didn't know about. The knowing look on Takahiro's face threw him off, it seemed so foreign on a man Misaki knew to be almost exclusively an airhead. Misaki pulled himself back together and continued.
"Uh, Nii-san. I want to talk to you about after I graduate."
Takahiro set down his spoon and nodded for Misaki to continue, giving the young man his full attention.
"I-I-I," Misaki grit his teeth and cursed himself. He was stronger than this. So he looked Takahiro dead in the eye and blurt it out, "I want to continue living with Usagi-san!"
Takahiro regarded him blankly for a moment, then asked something Misaki was not entirely prepared for, "Why?"
This tiny word set Misaki's mind on fire. He had expected an argument, a protest, but not this, this thoughtful questioning! His face flushed red and his eyes darted around the room, unsure where to settle, certainly not on his brother, so they rested again in his lap, at his shaking hands.
"Ah, haha…well," Misaki mumbled, feeling as though the room were engulfing him. In a way he suddenly wished it would. Had he been wrong in doing this without Usagi-san? He had, after all, wanted to help Misaki with this conversation. He sorely missed his rabbit's presence now. Usagi's cool, calm voice. His way with words…
"Misaki?" Takahiro implored gently, "What is it?"
Misaki squeezed his eyes tightly shut, "You see-I lo— umm…Usagi-san, he's…"
Not able to handle his brother's suffering any longer Takahiro cut in with a sigh, "Your lover, right?"
Misaki stood up immediately, nearly knocking his chair over. "What?!" Noticing the other patrons staring in wonderment, Misaki slumped back into his chair. This was not at all expected.
"Minami was right," Takahiro closed his eyes, and crossed his arms, letting out an exaggerated sigh this time. "I'm going to owe her so much money when she finds out."
Misaki shot forward and slapped his hands down on the table, "You were betting on it?!" he hissed.
Takahiro smiled broadly and raised his hands in mock defense, "Gomen, Misaki," he let out a quick laugh. "Minami told me a year ago that she suspected you two may be in a relationship. I thought it was so unlikely that I staked money on it."
Misaki frowned and clasped his hands tight in his lap, looking off to the side. His face a lovely shade of scarlet. Here he had been so nervous and all for naught.
"But, Misaki," Takahiro's voice was even now, serious, and Misaki looked up tentatively, " I thought about it a lot, and the more I did, the less preposterous it seemed. That's why I stopped harassing you about moving out."
"And I know I've talked a lot about the importance of family, and I really want you to have that, to know that love and connection, have children and a wife." Takahiro took a bite of his cake, his eyes looking to the ceiling as he chewed, a habit Misaki knew meant that his brother was thinking about something important. He waited patiently for him to continue.
Swallowing and setting down his spoon, Takahiro continued thoughtfully in a quiet tone, "Usagi never had much of a family, as you know I'm sure. And I love Usagi, he's my oldest friend. And I love you, Misaki, you're my precious little brother."
Misaki blushed furiously at the ridiculously earnest words, but continued to pay attention, sensing the importance they held for his brother.
"I realized that maybe you could be a family to each other! We can all be a big family!" Takahiro exclaimed brightly, gathering a handful of amused and perturbed stares from those nearby.
"Nii-san," Misaki said in wonder. It was such a simple conclusion to come to, but Misaki could tell it bordered on epiphany for Takahiro. It held with its weight such unconditional acceptance, Misaki felt tears sting the corners of his eyes.
Takahiro caught a glance of his watch and jumped up with a sudden exclamation, "Ah! I have to pick up Mahiro!" Grabbing his jacket from the back of the chair he threw it hurriedly over his shoulders, shoving his arms into the sleeves. He slowed for a moment before departing, "Misaki. Thank-you for talking to me. Don't worry about anything," Takahiro smiled again and took his leave, waving over his shoulder. "Thanks for the treat!"
Misaki could only manage to stare after him. For as many times as he had wondered what he was worrying about in the past months, he wondered it again.
Misaki took his time finishing his dessert and paying his tab, letting the conversation that had transpired truly sink in before deciding he should head back to prepare supper. Misaki smiled to himself. Though the conversation had gone much smoother than he had planned, he couldn't help but feel a sense of accomplishment. He had done the impossible and had freely admitted his relationship with Usagi-san to someone so important to him. He had taken another crucial step on his own and hoped that it would help Usagi-san further understand how much Misaki desired him and wanted to be by his side.
On his way to the train, Misaki took a slight detour, finding himself in a delightful mood. The street he found himself on hosted a variety of specialty shops, and among them Kaoruko's new pastry shop. Misaki had, admittedly, frequented the shop more than a few times since its inception only a few weeks earlier. The sweets were expensive, but the prices were certainly justified, not that Kaoruko ever charged him despite his insistence on paying.
Misaki knew a certain red-head editor that would love Kaoruko's cream puffs.
*That's all for now. The next chapter is in the works. Thanks very much for the reviews, they were very thoughtful and I'm happy that he story has been enjoyed so far. As for concerns about Misaki seeming OOC, yes this story runs that risk but I do want to avoid it as much as possible. Hopefully this chapter felt a little more like the Misaki we know and love. Next chapter has both of them interacting so fingers crossed it will make the most sense and clarify how they got to their current state. Cheers and thanks for reading!
