This was insane.
Ridiculous.
Some fucked up dream.
I mean clearly, she was passed out in the middle of the road and had slipped into some sort of coma because how else could you explain the fact that she was suddenly standing in her old bedroom in her slightly younger-but-still-beautiful-as-ever body.
"Kitten, what's the matter?"
Jackie had been so busy freaking out that she didn't even hear her bedroom door open, her father looking at her curiously, after all she did just scream the house down.
"Daddy…"
Jack Burkhart took a step closer to his little girl, worry starting to pool at the strange look in her eyes "What's wrong? Did you see a spider? Jackie, why were you screaming?"
Blinking herself clear of the fog in her head Jackie just nodded "Spider."
In all honesty she hadn't feared spiders in years, she lived with Eric for god sake, so if she didn't man up neither of them would have been able to ever use the bathroom again.
With a sigh of relief Jack kissed her on the head "I'll get Daniella in here to get it. I have to head to work now Kitten, I'm not sure what time I'll be home and your Mother's going to the country club so be good, alright? I love you."
She didn't get a chance to mutter out an overly excited 'I love you too, Daddy' like she once did before he'd walked out the room, door closed behind him.
She fell to the floor, her knees crushing into the soft pink carpet. Her mind was going a mile a minute… then out of the corner of her eye, she saw Fluffycakes, the overly stuffed pink unicorn Michael had bought after taking her virginity and then spending a week flipping a coin on whether to dump her.
Reaching out she dug her perfect nails into the seems and started ripping it apart, after all she had done pretty much the same thing to the offending unicorn once before.
It was strangely therapeutic at the time.
Now though, as white stuffing started to fall around her like snow, it was barely a frustration release.
She didn't understand what the hell was happening, she only knew one thing… she needed Eric!
So, digging through her clothes, most of which she had tossed years ago, she found some semblance of an outfit, and raced for the door after quickly brushing her hair. She thanked god that she was so pretty and the makeup she wore was only to highlight that… imagine if she had to go outside without makeup and be ugly!
The horror.
No, really!
She raced through the streets like a mad woman, she hadn't been behind the wheel of her Firebird since she sold it for rent money while living with Fez.
She was half way to her and Eric's apartment before she turned around, realizing in this stupid dream world he wouldn't be there.
He'd be home.
She let herself into the kitchen and practically threw herself into Kitty's arms "Oh my god Mrs Forman, it's just so horrible!"
"well now, honey it can't be that bad." She smiled at her, a real smile filled with sweetness and light just like Jackie remembered.
"It is, I need to talk to Eric. Is he here?"
"Last I saw he was in the basement I think… do you need to talk? Maybe we should call your mother?" this Kitty didn't know that Pam Burkhart was a dead-beat mom in designer heels, so Jackie just kissed her cheek as she stormed towards the basement door "No, I just need Eric!"
Kitty watched after her with a slight frown, wondering what could bring the little bossy girl to have so much fear in her voice. She only hoped her Eric could help his little friend.
"ERIC! Eric are you here?" Jackie pleaded as she took two steps at a time, but the basement was deserted. She couldn't do this, couldn't even think it… Eric would know what to do, he was the smart one, the reliable one, he would…
"Man, it's like 9 am what are you even doing here?"
A bucket of ice had been dropped on her head, she couldn't move, she was sure even her blood stopped circling because just…NO!
"Hello, earth to Jackie? Anything in there besides cotton candy and radiation?" her body moved without her say so, turned to find him stood there.
Sunglasses tucked into a band tee, those mutton chop sideburns and he was looking at her; those beautiful blue eyes were just looking right at her.
Steven.
"Jackie, man, are you okay?" he took a step forward to her step back, her arm reaching out to stop him coming any closer. She wasn't sure if she could keep breathing if he came closer.
But his voice, oh his voice was warm with that sweet concern that Jackie hadn't heard in years.
This was a trick, a cruel, cruel trick.
Hyde looked her over as she stared bug eyed at him. She looked like she'd seen a ghost, like she was about to shatter into a million pieces; her face was a pasty white colour, her big brown eyes watery and it took him a second to realize she wasn't wearing makeup.
Jesus Christ, what had happened?
Hyde was so busy wondering what could be so bad that Jackie would actually leave the house without her perfectly applied makeup to notice her hand, shaking as it inched closer to him, because she had to know, she had to know if this was some illusion her head had invented to torture her.
Then her fingertips lightly brushing against his jaw, the light stubble scratching at her soft tips "S-Steven…" her voice was barely a broken whisper, but he heard it.
"Hey, Jackie…" he didn't get a chance to finish his thought before she was in his arms, her fingers clawing into the back of his shirt as her other hand buried into his curls, scratching at his skull to pull him closer and her face was shoved hard into the crook of his neck.
He could feel her trembling against him, hear chest rising a touch to quick as she sobbed and breathed him in.
Pot, cigarettes and burnt sugar.
Jackie never wanted to breath any other scent again.
Hyde was starting to panic because, yeah, there was a hysterical cheerleader clinging onto him for dear life.
"hey, hey it's okay, everything's fine." He tried to calm her, gently rubbing the small of her back and hoping this wouldn't end up weird like when she bought him those boots.
Grabbing her elbows Hyde managed to pry her off him with a gentle push, only for her to start touching his face.
She was looking at him like he was freaking baby Jesus or some shit and honestly it was starting to freak him out.
Jackie was at a loss, her eyes scanning over every inch of him, the small scar on his chin, the slightly cause skin of his cheeks, the wrinkle of his brow, the brilliant blue of his eyes. She could hear him speaking to her, but the words didn't seem to make sense, all she knew was that his lips were moving, those beautiful lips that she remembers kissing, that voice that could make her cry or smile, or squirm in lap.
God how she missed his voice.
Steven was here, and Jackie wasn't sure if she should cry, scream, or just hold him to make sure he never went away again.
"You're here… you're really here."
"Jackie man your freaking the crap out of me! What's going on? Did you take something? Pill's? bad 'shrooms?"
The warm, annoyed concern in his voice snapped her back to the fact she just had a break down all over him. It hit her then, this wasn't her Steven, this Steven had never loved her, never hated her… never drank himself to death like a selfish asshole.
"Sorry… sorry. I just, I heard… someone said… I thought, but…" she wasn't sure how she was meant to explain it, he looked so much younger, so alive. She still had a fist full of his shirt, scared to let go of him just in case he disappeared, but she still needed to explain to him why she was such a mess "… I needed… just some pills…"
Hyde let out a sigh of relief, a bad trip was something he could deal with, something he could handle; for a second there he was scared someone had died or something.
Freaking cheerleader scaring the crap out of him!
It was that moment that the basement door flew open, a skinny rake of a boy walking in, mumbling to himself until he sees the unlikely pair in his basement that had been flooded with an unfamiliar tension.
Eric's eyes darted between the two and he raised a questioning brow to ask what was going on but didn't get a chance as Jackie threw herself into his arms with a large lungful of relief "Oh Eric, thank god!"
Her arms wound tightly around his neck, standing on the tips of her toes as a wave of hope coursed through her, Eric was here, he'd know what to do, even if it got even more screwed up he'd fix it, that's was his thing, after all.
Mess something up, fix it.
Hyde shared a look of confusion with his best friend over Jackie's shoulder, this hug was different to how she'd held him just moments ago; her hands hand been desperate and eyes pleading but the moment she saw Eric everything seemed to shift, and she was now relaxed in his arms.
Like her hugging him was one of the most normal things in the world.
Like it would keep her safe from everything… she'd hugged Hyde like that a few times, usually thanks to some screwup of Kelso's.
Was this hug an indication that her little crush had moved onto Forman or was it the effects of whatever was pumping through her system?
Not that Hyde really cared… obviously.
"…Eric, everything just got so strange and I didn't know what to do and I was scared and alone, I mean my dad was there, but you know, useless, and I didn't know where else to go."
Hyde realized then that she'd started blubbering on the second she started hanging off Forman, Eric just nodded, looking very lost and a touch scared before smiling "Okay… now, hum, what's going on?"
"She's just on a bad trip, man." Grabbing at her shoulders Hyde gently moved her to the far end on the sofa, closest to his seat. Taking a knee, he searched her eyes, pulling her cheek down slightly with the pad of his thumb to get a better look "Okay, doll, what did you take and how much?"
"Um…" she couldn't seem to focus because now he was touching her, god she hadn't felt his touch for so long… even before… wait right, she's high, okay "some pills… I don't know, Kat Peterson gave them to me."
Hyde's face fell, he knew Kat, girl was all butter wouldn't melt around her rich friends but in the shadows, she was a freak! Which is fine until she starts handing shit out like lollipops to squares like Jackie "Seriously? She could have given you anything."
"Same could be said for you there, buddy." Eric smiled at his own lewd joke; trying to get rid of the heavy setting.
"Get bent Forman! Stay with her I'm just going to get her something to drink…"
Jackie grabbed onto his hand like a vice, but Hyde was calm, sweetly brushing back her hair and looked her dead in the eye as he spoke "it's okay, doll, everything's fine, just wait here with Forman okay? He's going to look after you for a sec."
He spoke like he was trying to reassure a child, a very stoned child, as Eric squeaked "I am?"
Earning him a glare from Hyde that forced Eric to chuckle nervously "I am! I mean yeah, I've got you, Jackie… you're… totally okay."
Hyde knew how a bad trip could screw with you and he figured this was more than likely Jackie's first, they had to just watch her and made sure her stupid cheerleader brain didn't start leaking out of her nose or something.
Her eyes were glued to Steven's boots as he took the stairs two at a time out of the basement. She could feel her heart smacking ferociously against her chest plate, this was all just so… real…
She was grateful she'd remembered all that gossip about how Kat had got busted by her parents for all the drugs and stuff she did, which Steven had once confirmed to her was true. That hadn't happened yet though, Kat hadn't been shipped off to some fancy private school/rehab, not yet anyway.
Rationally she knew this had to be some sort of delusion, I mean for gods sake she was in a car crash. Oh god her hair probably looked awful in the real world, all tangled and sticky with blood.
She felt like she might be sick at the idea.
Focus, Jackie, focus. Car crash plus head injury equals life like hallucinations.
But she could smell him, touch him, watch him breathe and blink and just be fucking alive!
"Eric…"
He looked like a deer caught in headlights, funny considering that's what got her into this mess "What?"
"Am I dead? …I just, I don't know what's happening. This is crazy!"
"Jackie, you're okay… you're in my basement, I don't know why, but you're in my basement and you're fine."
She watched his eyes, this Eric couldn't read her like one of his precious comics, he couldn't fix her with a look and know exactly how to make it all better.
This Eric Forman wasn't her friend.
It would have broken her heart… would have, except he had this worried look in his eye she knew so well.
He'd always had that, that caring streak, that compassion for everyone around him, even the annoying girl he couldn't quite stand. That's one of the things she'd always found so special about him.
Eric cared about her, even now.
Her head fell against this chest as she smiled sadly, because he didn't just wrap his arms around her, squeeze her slightly, no this Eric didn't know what to do, so fidgeting awkwardly he ended up patting her on the head "There, there. Good Jackie."
She couldn't help but laugh, a small giggle.
Eric Forman. Her hero.
While all this was happening, Hyde was making a sandwich with some of the leftovers from breakfast, Jackie had to eat something, food usually helped… also he was pretty hungry.
It was strange, she didn't seem high or trippy, she seemed more freaked out, confused and scared shitless. But there was no other explanation for her behaviour, yeah sure ever since he took the wrap for that pot she's been kind of clingy, but the way she was looking at him…
He'd never seen real fear in her before, all mixed up with stuff he didn't know but still.
It was unnerving, not that he actually cared or anything, but he'd seen his mom and his 'uncles' go through enough bad trips to know it could get ugly.
"Hey. Eric around?"
Hyde gave a brief nod to the tall redhead as she closed the kitchen door then went back to the sandwich "He's downstairs with Jackie."
Donna offered him a crinkled brow of confusion "Jackie's here? She said had some cheerleader thing today…"
"I don't know about cheerleading, but I do know she showed up here tripping like a pro. I mean who the hell would give that chick anything stronger than a hit of weed?" he could hear the anger in his own voice.
It's not because he cared or anything it's just that now he'd end up spending the day looking after some stupid girl who didn't even know what was coursing through her veins.
Man, it was going to be a long day.
"Jackie? Jackie Burkhart? God, I have to see this!" Donna's face split into a grin at the prospect of seeing the cheerleader in the mist of loosing her unicorn addled mind.
Normally Hyde would be following Donna's lead, hell he'd usually have bought the first ticket to the show, but she hadn't seen her… it was just different.
"Donna man, leave it alone, alright? We can burn her about it later, but right now if you stay, you stuck looking after the ice princess, like the rest of us!" he shoved an empty glass into the girl's hands and she just gave him this look, a quirk of her brow and a slow nod "um, okay… so she's pretty messed up?"
"I guess." Donna bit into her lip feeling kind of bad for wanting see Jackie messed up, if Hyde was worried about her, admitting it or not, Donna knew it wasn't the time to poke the bear.
So, she just grasped a root beer out of the fridge and started pouring it into the glass.
The basement was pretty quiet when they got down there, except for TV Eric had turned on, trying to break up the strange silence. He and Jackie were sat on opposite sides of the sofa, Eric looking awkward as hell, but Jackie seemed relatively calm, curled up in the corner, almost zen in comparison to the mess Hyde had left down there.
"Here, eat this." Hyde dropped her plate into her lap and took his usual seat, taking a bite out of his own sandwich.
"Thanks." Jackie didn't even take a questionable sniff or make some bitchy comment.
"yeah, whatever." Hyde mumbled around a mouthful of food, sneaking a glance through his aviators to see the strange sad little smile on the brunette's face as she took a bite of the sandwich.
Jackie was grateful for the sandwich, she didn't realize how hungry she was until Steven had dropped it into her lap, hallucination or not she hadn't eaten since that morning, the real morning… before her brain had malfunctioned on her and she woke up in bizaro-dream-land.
"Hey, Jackie, you okay?" Donna had waited by the stairs, wanting to see how bad her friend actually was tripping, she seemed okay; but then Donna had spoken, and Jackie's head whipped around like a spooked cat.
Jackie looked at her, Donna, red hair and all… she hadn't spoken to Donna since the screaming match at Hyde's apartment, it was freaky, but that seemed to be the theme of the day "I got you a root beer."
Jackie took the glass, eyeing it questionable "I'm guessing the arsenic is to add flavour?"
The redhead recoiled slightly, both boys staring at Jackie, because hey, that bitchy comment was meant for Hyde… right?
"Jackie, what the hell?" A wash of guilt hit her when she saw the shock in Donna's eyes, eyes that hadn't hardened at the sight of Jackie, that lacked that edge of hate she's grown used to…
Jackie ducked her head slightly, needing to get out from under everyone gaze. I know, Jackie Burkhart not wanting to be centre of attention, who'd have thought?
"Yeah, sorry, just… sorry."
"Donna, don't worry about it to much, she's been acting nuts since she got here, like before, she said she was glad I'm here, straight face and everything and I'm not going to lie… it frightened me." Eric gave the redhead one his goofy smiles, god it had been so long since she'd seen him smile like that.
Jackie watched her 'friend' sit down and eye her a little wearily, she couldn't help it, Donna had ripped their friendship into confetti, she become some sort of bitch-monster now here she was like nothing had ever happened.
… because nothing had ever happened.
As the day went on everyone kept sort of staring at Jackie and she was kind of staring back because this was some fucked up time warp she couldn't grasp.
Her quietness seemed to throw everyone off; she just sat in the corner like she was waiting for something to happen.
I think it's how quiet she was is what threw everyone off, she just sat in the corner, like she was waiting for something to happen.
When Kelso came down the basement stairs, bragging about how he got Laurie to do it on the water tower; everyone had expected Jackie to go a little nuts but she just sat there a different smile on her face. In her mind this was funny as hell… she knew Michael enough to know he wasn't thinking as he spoke and sure she remembered how much he'd hurt her with Laurie, but that was so long ago; it was a dull ache in the beautiful memory of their relationship.
She just couldn't help but be happy to see him, relaxed with a fond smile.
While everyone was looking at her like she was crazy, except Hyde, he seemed almost proud.
She was Zen, man… mostly because if she wasn't then she'd probably have driven herself nuts trying to tell everyone she was in a car crash in 1983 where Donna's a bitch, Michael's a Dad and Stevens dead!
She hadn't seen Fez that day, she was hoping she would before she woke up from her coma. Yeah, she almost firmly believed she was in a coma at this point.
She had to tell herself something!
It was later that night, with a stomach full of Kitty's sausage casserole, and the moonlight blanketing the Forman's patio and Jackie was a touch more certain of her own mind; provided she wasn't completely losing it anyway.
"are you sure you're okay to drive, you still seem a little spaced?" Donna was sweet, Jackie didn't know how to handle that, it'd been a very long time since Donna had worried about her. Jackie tried to remember the last time… was it before Chicago? Before Eric left?
"Um, I'm good thanks."
"Yeah, Jackie I mean, you're not even wearing any makeup, in like public!" Kelso had blurted out and was still in deep shock about that little detail.
Jackie leaned against the hood of her car, arms folding with a eyeroll at her ex's little comment "Michael we've been over this, makeup is a beautiful girl's highlighter and an ugly girl's mask. Thankfully my beauty is naturally highlighted anyway."
"There she is! The conceited annoyance we all, for some strange reason, put up with." There was no malice in Hyde's voice, he was smiling at her, playful and teasing like she remembered… she was starting to wonder if those memories where dreams, but then this was a dream… maybe.
God this is confusing!
Not to mention terrifyingly insane!
"I should get home. Thank you, all of you for taking care of me today."
"Sure you don't want a ride?" she kissed Eric's cheek in answer, shaking her head lightly "you're sweet, but I'm okay."
Donna hugged her before Jackie had a chance to pass her, it was awkward and pretty awful and Jackie actually felt bad about wanting to shove the girl off. Kelso smiled at her as she passed him to stand in front of Hyde, leaning into kiss his cheek much like she had Eric's but she lingered, enjoying the feeling of her lips on his warm skin.
She investigated his eyes, through those stupid beloved sunglasses and smiled at what she saw "Thank you Steven."
"It's cool."
She bit back a sob at that, his Zen was in play, perfectly aloof and she didn't want to go, she wanted to crawl into his arms and his warmth and listen to him go on and on about some conspiracy theory or a new song he was into.
She couldn't though.
This maybe her dream, but even this various of him wouldn't have allowed that… that came later, or before. Oh, forget it.
They watched her taillights as she headed out, Donna scowling slightly "is it just me or did that trip seriously mess her up?"
"Yeah, she didn't even glare at me once… hey maybe she wants to get back together!" Kelso's hopeful tone was shot down by Hyde frogging him in the arm.
"She had a bad trip, not a brain transplant!"
Hyde wasn't sure why the idea pissed him off so much, he just didn't like the cheating, had watched his dad do a lot of that to his mom, no one deserved that crap. That's one of the reason's he was always trying to get Kelso caught, plus it was funny as hell.
"Well I'm just happy this day is over… quiet Jackie is freakier than the Omen and now my house needs an exorcism. Mom, call Pastor Dave!" Eric half joked as he headed back into the house.
Yep, it had been a strange day.
What wasn't strange was Jackie arriving to an empty house, well it was because she hadn't really lived alone in years, first Donna, then Fez, and Eric, but growing up with her parents had been another story.
The house was deserted, her parents' god knows where and all the servants having gone home for the night. As she made her way up the stair case Jackie realized she hated this house, the echo-y halls and unused rooms. She wished Michael had burned it to the ground that day he'd ruined her party.
Opening her bedroom door, she couldn't help but hate that too, it was like a time-capsule. Things and dreams she'd thrown away years ago. If she hadn't been so tired she might have started ripping things off the walls and trashing the place.
Instead she kicked off her shoes, shrugged out of her clothes and fell against the welcoming cool of her old sheets.
Earlier that day she made a pact with herself, while she watched Steven and Michael fight over something stupid while Donna and Eric cuddled up and laughed at them.
She's enjoy that day.
Even if it wasn't real, even if it was some cosmic trick. She'd enjoy it; and she did.
She watched some of the people she loved most in a time from before they were cruel, angry, hard or cold.
She watched them, and it broke her heart because it couldn't be true, it was a beautiful memory her dying mind had conjured to comfort her.
But what if it wasn't, what if it was real?
What if somehow, her fairy godmother had been watching over her and given her a chance, it's a beautiful thought.
She just couldn't believe it, Jackie Burkhart didn't believe in magic and fairy tales anymore.
However, as her eyes got heavy, exhaustion taking hold she remembered her pact; she'd enjoy that day and if by some miracle by the time morning came she didn't wake up in a hospital room or a morgue but again in that room, in a world before everything fell into ash and dirt, a world where HE was, then she'd believe.
She'd believe, and she'd fix it.
Fix everything, she could.
But beliefs for tomorrow…
*KNOCK* *KNOCK*
"Miss Jackie, time for breakfast!"
Shooting up in the same bed she fell asleep in, the same room she once loved, the poor little rich girl sat in awe.
"Well…. Fuck me!"
