(1st of all, thank you for the reviews people, and to those of you that added the story to your favourite etc. :D)
This is Jace's response to the news. I really enjoyed writing it but would really like to hear what others thought of it so please R&R. I don't really know where the story is going if it is going anywhere so feel free to tell me some of your ideas. I hope you like it. xxx
Declaimer: I do not own any of the characters or anything to do with the Mortal Instruments.
She must have been sleeping lightly because the light pressure on her forehead woke her strait away. She opened her eyes to see Jace's neck, level with her eyes. She reached up and stroked his cheek, he removed his lips form her forehead and looked her in the eyes. He looked exhausted. She pushed him back so that she could sit up and without saying anything she looked him up and down. He was a mess. Blood, dirt, gung, everything. He was plastered with everything you could think of and didn't smell too good either.
"Are you-"
"I'm not hurt." He said. "Not my blood, I was careful, like you asked." He said with a small crooked smile. His smile vanished with his next question. "How are you feeling?"
"I'm ok." Clary said. Then, instantly she made her mind up. "I need to talk to you though." She almost regretted this when she saw his expression. He looked as though his stomach had taken a turn. His face fell and turned bone white and all of a sudden he looked much, much older and sadder. He looked and breathed as though he was having a panic attack. "What about?" He made as if to sit on the edge of the bed.
"Wow, as glad as I am that you were careful, and I am, you're not coming in here like that. Shower. Now." She said. He forced a laugh and started to the bathroom, walking quickly yet sagging slightly. This was not a good start.
She didn't really care about the mess he was in. She needed some time to sort her head out. It could go either way. His reaction could make her even happier than she'd been this last seven years; it could destroy her and everything in her life, which was her relationship with Jace. It was odd to think of her and Jace as a 'relationship' as that entailed two people; she'd gotten used to thinking of each other as two halves of one thing.
After a few minutes, she got up and went to stand in front of the mirror at on the wall opposite to the bed where she'd stood looking at herself in the mirror when Jace had walked in earlier. It was the same this time, like a De Ja Vu, only he was topless now, wearing only pyjama bottoms, and from a different door. In the faint light of the lamp she took in his beauty, his lean strong and scarred body, his wet golden hair, and his beautiful honey golden eyes. The face she loved so much was lined with worry and confusion and most of all, nerves. She could almost hear his loud heartbeat from where she still stood in front of the mirror, harmonizing with her own speeding heart, always harmonizing.
He stood by the door expectantly, waiting for directions. This formal behaviour was odd for them, like they'd missed a beat and weren't sure what was going to happen and what was going on. The future, for the first time in seven years, was unclear to them. Clary felt as though she'd missed a step going down the stairs as she looked at him and she had to turn around and found herself staring at her own tense expression in the mirror.
"You'd better sit down, this is… big." She said in a small voice. She didn't turn around from the mirror as he quietly sat down on the bed, facing her though her back was to him. She didn't want to see his expression. When she could avoid it no longer, she took a deep breath and turned around to face him. His face was hard, he thought he was preparing himself for something. Did he guess what was going on? If so, his expression was not a good sign nor was it encouraging. If not, then what was he expecting?
She tried to ignore herself and the stupid evaluations and assumptions and pushed the words out of her mouth. "Do you notice anything different in me, Jace?" She asked, spreading her arms wide and letting her olive green robe open to show her short white nightgown underneath.
He looked confused. "Should I?" he asked, his voice uneven, despite his obvious effort to keep it normal.
"I don't know. I suppose not. I didn't notice, until yesterday." She said, wondering if he'd get it.
"Is this 'outer change' supposed to be a metaphor for your inner feelings?" He asked, sounding faintly angry. "Because if it is, I'd appreciate it if you'd cut it and tell me what you're feeling." His voice was clipped, as though he was afraid to trust his voice to talk too much.
"Not a metaphor Jace." She said. "Physically, do you notice the extra weight?"
He sat up straighter. "This is about self image? Self esteem issues? Clary-"
"Of course not. Jace, there is something different. In me. It will change things. Personally I couldn't be happi-"
"Clary, please, just tell me."
This was getting ridiculous! "I'm Pregnant Jace" I wanted to say, it got stuck in my throat.
"Clary, it's you and me. Whatever it is-"
"It wont just be 'you and me' for long Jace." She burst out. She stood in front of the bed where he sat for a few long, silent moments. Jace stared at her, shocked. His eyes trailed sown from her face, down her body and fixed on her very slightly swollen belly.
"By the Angel. Clary, are you- Is –Are you telling me that, what I think you're telling me?" She couldn't decipher his feelings through the shock. He got up and walked towards her, arms extended. He took her in his arms, trailing his hands across her back, her waist, her belly and exclaimed in a small gasp. He stared down at her before slowly looking up and into her eyes. She was shocked to see that his golden eyes were swimming, causing his eyes to look like pools of flecked honey. He looked beautiful, a small part of the back of her mind noted.
"Clary…" He took her face in his hands and kissed her. Her Forehead first, then her eyelids, her nose and her cheeks, her jaw, her neck, her lips, her lips. The kiss deepened as it got more and more passionate. She didn't' realize that she was crying until she let out a gasp against his lips. She felt them tilt into a smile as he whispered something over and over. "I love you." He repeated. They were both gasping when she leaned back, too eager to see his face. She was shocked to see that his face, like hers, was wet. He was smiling as brightly as he had at the river when everything was over and they knew their love was no longer forbidden. As brightly as he had when he realized that she'd asked the angel for his life, that he was all she wanted. As brightly as he had when they declared their love for each other for the first time without it being wrong. The times they'd spent together, fighting, loving, laughing, killing. All those precious moments in his life that they'd shared was like this one. Obviously one of the happiest moments of his life.
"Jace." She said, smiling at him.
"I can't believe it Clary. I just can't. How can one person be so happy? Surely it's not fair is it?" he was breathless.
"No, it doesn't sound fair, especially when you tie it with me. But Jace, life isn't fair. Isn't that what they always say?"
He laughed at this, his eyes narrowing from the shockingly wide they'd been a few seconds ago, causing more tears to escape his eyes and fall shamelessly down his flushed cheeks. She kissed them away. He laughed again, a breathless laugh. He picked her up and, hugging her close to his body, took her to the bed and laid her down carefully, as though she was a fragile little girl. He laid down next to her and they stared into each other's eyes, their bodies fitting closely together like pieces of jigsaw.
"When you behaved as you did today, during supper, before I went, telling me you didn't feel well, didn't feel like going, I thought it was bad. Really bad. When you said you needed to talk, I nearly drowned myself in the shower to avoid hearing something that made you behave like that!"
"I'm sorry. I was a little freaked out, I suppose."
"Why?" He asked. Of course, he didn't know what I was worrying about.
"I didn't know how you'd react." She said quietly, as though she didn't want him to hear.
He looked dumbfounded. "How I'd react?" He asked in disbelief.
"After everything you've been through, I was…a little worried, that's all. I didn't want you to feel…" She trailed off, not sure how to continue.
"I see where you'd get that from. But, for the same reasons as I'd…feel…differently about this, I feel the opposite. I'm going to do it right. Be the father I didn't get. Our child is going to be the best. I'll do everything I can to be a good father, I'm excited by it. If I didn't get a good father in my young life, then I'll create one now." He smiled widely at her.
"You," she said, kissing the scar on his chest, "Will be an excellent father. I have no doubt about that." She said.
"I think you're right." He said, his voice muffled as he pressed his face into her hair.
