A/N: Thanks to the few readers who subscribed and reviewed this story. This chapter is for you. Hopefully I'll have another up within the next few days.
Regina turned the shower nozzle to hot as she stepped in allowing the still cold water to cascade over her body. What was I thinking? The brunette thought as she placed her hands on the wall and leaned into the spray. Her body began to shake as tears collided with the water. How could I have been so stupid? She had done this overnight escape before but had never been caught. She was afraid to admit it but she was beginning to think she had a drinking problem.
It all started when Emma came to town. That's when her life had been turned upside down. At first she had despised the blonde but after everything they had been through she began to respect the sheriff. She saw how much Emma cared for Henry and how happy she had made him. How could she go on hating her when she made Henry so happy? So she tried to be civil and eventually the two had formed a sort of understanding with the other. There were moments when Regina swore she had finally made a friend and others where she wanted them to be more.
She'll never like you back. Regina thought dejectedly as she went to turn the shower nozzle off. She hadn't completely washed up but the water was enough to sober her a little more. She had to go out and face the day. She already knew that she would call out of work, but she hoped that Henry had been able to make it to school.
When Regina exited the bathroom she expected to find an empty house. What she found was Emma standing there, arms crossed, glaring at her.
"Oh, Miss Swan." Regina feigned surprise. "I thought you were taking Henry to school."
The sight of the brunette in nothing but a towel momentarily froze Emma but she regained composure very quickly.
"I called Mary Margaret and she was able to swing by and pick him up on her way in." Emma explained before taking a small step towards the still drunk woman. "Regina, we need to talk."
Regina sighed in defeat as she realized that Emma was right. They did need to talk.
"Let me just put some clothes on first, all right?" Regina took in her appearance and looked back towards the blonde. She could have sworn she saw Emma checking her out. This softened her a little.
"And Emma?" Regina added as she trudged her way to her bedroom. The blonde looked up to meet her eyes. "I'm really sorry you had to witness this. I can explain…I just…" The brunette trailed off not sure what to say. What could she say really? That she had a drinking problem? That she had left Henry alone before? That all she could think about was Emma joining her in her bedroom right now?
Emma could see the confusion and sadness in the brunette's eyes. It broke her heart to see her so deflated.
"Just go change and we can talk." The blonde managed to say before turning around to wait downstairs. She wasn't sure what had drove Regina to that point but she was going to try her best to figure it out. She cared for Regina despite the brunette's attempts to keep her away.
XXX
The smell of coffee assaulted the brunette as she made her way downstairs to where Emma was waiting for her. Rounding the corner she saw Emma relaxing in a chair with a coffee mug hugged between the palms of her hands. She looked at home. Regina signed at the domestic situation wishing that she could come downstairs to this every morning.
"Hi." Emma said as she noticed her new companion. "Feeling better?"
Regina made her way over to the coffee pot before pouring herself a cup. Since she was out all night she hadn't been to sleep yet. A yawn escaped her lips at the thought.
"Yes." Regina replied formally as she took the seat opposite the blonde. "I don't have an excuse for what I did last night. I know that I shouldn't have left Henry alone." Her shoulders slumped. She was over fighting this battle alone.
"Can I ask you something Regina?" Emma reached out a hand and placed it upon the freshly washed arm of the brunette. She noted how soft her skin was. It made the hair on the back of her neck stick up but she didn't let Regina know this.
"Yes." Regina exhaled the breath that she had been holding since Emma had placed her hand on her. Her body tensed but she could feel the coffee begin to take its effect.
"What made you go out to drink? You have plenty of alcohol here. Last time I was over I saw it all stashed in your liquor cabinet. You can't tell me that you went through 4 bottles of tequila and cider yourself."
Regina looked guilty. She had gone through 4 bottles by herself in the span of a week. That's what drove her out the night before. The desire to drink away her feelings and the inability to do so with her lack of alcohol.
"I don't have any more liquor in the house." The brunette sighed, afraid of what Emma might think of her. She studied her face to see her reaction but if Emma had one it was only internal.
"Oh." Emma put her coffee mug down and ran her hand through her blonde locks. "Are you okay Regina? I mean, you look okay and all during the day but I don't know what you get into at night." The sheriff took the direct approach.
Regina needed to decide now if she was going to cave and spill all her secrets to the blonde or if she was going to go her normal route and put up more walls. She was good at protecting herself and knew exactly what to say to assure the blonde this wouldn't happen again. The only problem though was that Regina didn't want to do this. She didn't want to go her normal route. Look at where it had gotten her. She was ready and willing to open up to another human being. But could she trust Emma? Emma was the sheriff and also the daughter of her arch nemesis. Would the blonde go running back to mommy and daddy and tell them all about weak old Regina?
Emma noticed the inner turmoil in the brown eyes and pressed more firmly on her hand resting on Regina's arm.
"Hey Regina, it's okay." Emma reassured her. "I'm here if you want to talk about it."
Regina looked up with unshed tears in her eyes. How could this woman in front of her provide so much comfort with only a touch of her hand?
"I don't know where to begin Emma." Regina was finally opening up. "I just can't stop drinking." The brunette hiccupped uncomfortably as the remaining alcohol was working its way out of her system.
"You can stop Regina. You have all the tools at your disposal. You have me and Henry who will be here for you." The blonde offered a weak smile as she saw the unshed tears begin to finally fall. Before she knew it the brunette across from her had placed her head in her hands and her shoulders began to shake.
Emma didn't miss a heartbeat. She removed herself from her chair and immediately went over to kneel next to Regina. Once she found her opening she launched her arms forward and hugged the woman until she felt her sobs begin to ebb. She wasn't quite sure why Regina was having such a reaction but who was she to judge? She had done some pretty messed up stuff in her days. She had seen plenty of people addicted to alcohol and knew what it did to them. She beat herself up a little for being so blind to Regina. How could she have missed the warning signs? Yes she usually saw Regina with a drink in her hand late at night but she assumed it was always just a nightcap. She wasn't aware that it never stopped at just one.
"I don't know what forced you to drink but I do know that I will help you overcome it." Emma cooed into the brunette's ear as she rubbed her back in comfort. That only caused the former queen to start up crying again.
"You." Regina managed to get out between her first few cries. She was too far-gone and didn't care of the consequences. It was all or nothing with the blonde. She had held this secret inside of her for too long.
"What?" Confused about Regina's answer Emma continued to rub her back. "What did you say Regina?"
"I said that I drink because of you."
Emma's hand immediately stilled as she took in the words from Regina. How was she to blame for this? What had she done?
"I…I don't understand." Emma let go of the brunette and begged for her to look up at her. "What do you mean you drink because of me? How am I to blame?"
Regina buried her face further into her hands refusing to give Emma the satisfaction of seeing her so broken. She decided that she had spoke too much. It must still be the alcohol talking.
"Please go." She mumbled in between deep breaths to steady the stream of tears. She was nearly all cried out but was embarrassed to look upon Emma's face.
"Regina please, talk to me. I can help." Emma reached her hand out to take hold of one of Regina's own. She didn't care that the hand was moist and more than likely covered in a combination of tears and mucus.
The brunette looked over and saw the determination in Emma's eyes. It infuriated her and excited her all at the same time. She didn't know whether to hate her or lean over and kiss her soft lips.
"No one can help. Especially not you." She shook her head as she tried to sit up and gain a little bit of composure. If the old Regina was here she would fireball herself into oblivion over being so needy and helpless. She was better than this. She didn't need anyone to help put her back together.
"Regina…" Emma began but was cut off when the other woman stood abruptly from her chair.
"I said leave my house." Regina pointed towards the door. She was tired of feeling weak and had decided that she had given away too much. She cursed herself mentally for needing comfort in another person, especially the person who caused this problem in the first place.
Emma stood immediately and leveled a glare at the once evil queen. There was determination in her eyes.
"You can kick me out Regina but I won't give up. I'm going to get to the bottom of this." She turned to leave and before she made it to the front door she looked back to see the brunette with fire still in her eyes. "If I get another call from Henry at 4 in the morning you are going to wish you had taken my help when you had it."
And with that the door to her house had shut leaving Regina alone once again.
