One of the Cool Kids ch.2

By: firefly

Note: Yayz, it's Hidan's turn to give an initiation test! Hope you guys like this chapter as much as you liked the first. Oh, and, reviews would be LOVE.

One of the Cool Kids

Tobi spent a few minutes wandering the winding hallways, opening doors and peeking inside rooms.

So far he'd found a weight room, an entertainment room that included a ping pong table, a room that contained one armchair facing a window, a laundry room, three beautiful bathrooms, some linen closets, a room full of spare cloaks, and all the dorm rooms.

"Excuse me, Itachi-san," Tobi said, sticking his head into the Uchiha's room. "Could you tell me where I could find Hidan-san?"

Itachi lowered the book he was reading, staring up at Tobi from where he was reclining on his bed.

"Keep going down the hall till you get to the last room," he answered tonelessly.

"Oh, okay. Thanks for your help." Tobi turned to leave but stopped when Itachi spoke once more.

"Where is Kisame?"

Tobi scratched his head sheepishly.

"Throwing up in the washroom."

"Oh. Okay," Itachi said carelessly, resuming his reading.

Tobi gently closed the door behind him before departing down the hall. He chanced a glance in Hidan's room but only found Kakuzu there counting money. The masked man pointed him in the same direction Itachi did.

Somewhat curious, Tobi hurried along the hall and stopped before the very last door. He knocked.

"What?" a muffled, irritated voice came from the other side.

"Hidan-san? It's Tobi. I'm ready for my initiation test!"

Silence at first, then a muffled curse.

"Come in."

Tobi cautiously opened the door and cautiously took a few steps inside. What he found was a tad alarming.

"Are you all right?" Tobi said in concern, finding Hidan lying flat on his back on the bloodstained floor, impaled with a metal pike.

"What the hell do you think?" the silver-haired man answered, struggling to sit up. Tobi hurried forward and gave him a hand, carefully depositing him into the nearest chair.

"Umm, what were you doing, Hidan-san?" Tobi asked a moment later. "If you don't mind me asking."

"Ritual thing," Hidan said shortly, reaching for the calendar tacked to the wall. "In addition to offering up my blood after every kill, I still have to do it once a month anyway."

Tobi retrieved the calendar for him and watched in curiousity as Hidan ran a bloodied finger down the page.

"Hmm…monthly bloodletting…check. Lamb slaughter…check. Hm, did I do that cleansing ritual? Oh yeah, I did. Heh. Anything else…?"

Tobi cocked his head to the side when Hidan's pale face suddenly went paler.

"…shit."

"Shit? Tobi echoed innocently.

"Shit," Hidan repeated, eyes wide. "I forgot this one."

Tobi leaned in closer to get a look at what Hidan was pointing to. He squinted at the scrawled, tiny writing.

"Virgin sacrifice?" Tobi said aloud.

Hidan suddenly shot to his feet, dropping the calendar. A second later, he lost his balance by slipping on the puddle of blood and went crashing into a desk. Tobi watched in dismay as Hidan fell solidly onto his rump, cursing up a storm.

"Damn…blood…" he gasped for breath, his hand against his chest as he struggled to stand.

Tobi helped him up, depositing him back into the chair.

"You don't look too good," Tobi commented, watching Hidan's face slowly go from pale to stark white.

Hidan grimaced, his voice dripping with sarcasm when he spoke.

"Oh no. Seriously?"

"Yeah," Tobi nodded somberly. "I think you need to see a doctor."

Hidan grimaced again, shaking his head before looking forlornly at his bloodstained calendar.

"I'm screwed."

"Umm, Hidan-san," Tobi said hesitantly. "I don't mean to sound insensitive…but are you going to give me an initiation test soon?"

Hidan's right eye twitched and just as he opened his mouth to retort, a thought occurred to him.

This guy…Tobi. He didn't seem too smart. Nor did he seem very cruel or powerful or cunning. Surely, he would fail all the other tests and die in the process. Was it necessary that he, Hidan, give him a test so trying and difficult when there were still five tests remaining, one of them being the Leader's?

No, Hidan realized. It wasn't necessary at all.

Tobi brightened considerably when a smile slowly replaced the grimace on Hidan's face.

"Listen," Hidan said, voice dripping with honey as he gestured for Tobi to take a seat. "I'll give you your test here and now."

"Really?" Tobi said brightly, plopping himself down in a chair. "What is it?"

"I'm in a bit of a tight spot," Hidan confessed, gesturing to the bleeding stab wound in his chest. "Because I need to complete one more ritual before midnight."

Tobi nodded exuberantly.

"What do you want me to do, Hidan-san?"

"Normally, I'd do this myself. But seeing as how I'm a bit"—Hidan suddenly went into a violent coughing fit, choking on the blood in his mouth.

"—incapacitated," he continued hoarsely. "I need you to do this for me."

Tobi nodded once more, patting him consolingly on the back.

"I need you to get me a virgin," Hidan said brusquely, all traces of honey gone from his voice. "Preferably a girl. They struggle less."

"Virgin?" Tobi echoed. "For what?"

Hidan opened his mouth to answer but then reconsidered, eyeing the naïve, masked man warily.

"My brother is getting married," Hidan lied. "We need a virgin to perform the rites during the ceremony."

"Really?" Tobi gasped. "Your brother's getting married? If I pass your test, will you invite me to the wedding?"

Hidan stared at him in disbelief.

"Uh…sure."

"Great!" Tobi stood up, stepping over the puddle of blood on his way out. "One virgin, coming up!"

Hidan stared after Tobi when he departed, wondering how the hell he managed to pass Kisame's test.

Tobi found himself having to explain his situation to the Leader when he was stopped on the way out.

"Where do you think you're going?"

"To complete Hidan-san's task!" Tobi said proudly.

"…you passed Kisame's test?"

"Yes, sir!"

The Leader stared at him, slightly impressed.

"Fine. You may go, but Zetsu must follow. If you reveal our location to anyone, I will have your head."

"Okay," Tobi said airily, waving goodbye. "I'll be back soon!"

Tobi left the Akatsuki headquarters and headed into town, wondering where he should start looking. He was vaguely aware of Zetsu's presence as he wandered the streets, but focused more on the task at hand.

He had to try extra hard for Hidan-san, seeing as how the poor man was practically sick with anemia.

Tobi emerged onto a busy street, blissfully unaware of the strange looks he was getting as he passed through the crowd.

Then, a group of young teenage girls caught his eye and he confidently walked over to them.

One of them noticed him as he was nearing and Tobi wondered why she went from looking happy to looking terrified.

The other girls saw her expression and turned around, eyes widening when Tobi stopped and towered over them, his orange, swirly mask glinting in the sunlight.

"Hi," he said in a friendly voice. "Do any of you happen to be virgins?"

A second later, all five girls ran screaming onto the busy street, leaving Tobi to wonder what he'd done wrong.

An hour passed as Tobi wandered from store to store, stopping random women on the street to ask them if they were virgins. He didn't understand why they ran away or attempted to slap him, since he was asking very politely.

It was all very vexing.

A few women actually nodded in response to his question, one of them being a nun. But when he politely asked them to follow him, they also tended to turn tail and run.

Tobi wandered the streets for hours, beginning to worry a little as darkness fell. He had to find a virgin and fast. Time was running out.

He emerged onto a busy street, somewhat awed by the bright neon lights and bustling public. Couples were strolling around eating ice cream and holding hands and practically all the old people were missing.

That would increase his chances, most definitely.

He asked a few more women, sighing when they backed away from him or ran for their husbands or boyfriends. Fortunately, Tobi's height and mask seemed to intimidate the men and no one questioned him.

Finally, he crossed the street and walked towards the red lamps glowing on the street corners. He stopped when a heavily made-up woman caught his eye. She was leaning against the wall next to an alley and was smoking a cigarette.

Tobi stopped before her and scrutinized her, almost tempted to pull on that big bush of blonde hair to see if it came off. The woman exhaled a plume of smoke and looked up at him, quirking an eyebrow.

"Yeah?"

"Hello there," Tobi said, in his most gentlemanly voice. "I apologize if this comes off as rude…but are you a virgin?"

The woman stared at him in silence. Then she grinned. Then she began to howl with laughter.

Tobi stood there patiently as she giggled hysterically.

"Ma'am?"

"Honey, if that's what you want, then sure. I can be a virgin," she said with a chortle.

Tobi was thrilled.

"Oh, really? Hidan-san will be delighted! Will you follow me, please?"

The woman's brow furrowed.

"Don't you wanna know what I charge?"

"Huh? Charge? For what?"

The woman stared at him in disbelief. Tobi shuffled his feet impatiently before reaching forward and taking her hand.

"I'm sure that Hidan-san will give you whatever you want," Tobi told her, tugging her arm as he started walking. "He's really nice."

The woman shrugged and followed.

When Tobi returned to the Akatsuki headquarters, he headed straight to the prayer room. He found Hidan sitting in the chair with his rosary, looking paler than ever.

"Finally!" he said in relief, tucking his rosary into his cloak. "What took you so long?"

Tobi shrugged sheepishly.

"They kept running away from me, Hidan-san. It was a really hard test but I managed to find one."

"Where is she?"

"Waiting outside the door."

"Good. Turn off the lights and tell her to come in. You stay outside. Interrupt me, and you fail."

Tobi nodded.

"Right. I'll go get her."

The lights were turned off and the woman went to meet her maker. Tobi waited patiently outside the door, whistling to himself.

Half an hour later, Hidan emerged from the room looking relieved, finding Tobi sitting with his back to the wall and plucking at carpet lint.

"Hey swirl-face, good job."

Tobi looked up at the sound of his voice, scrambling to his feet.

"Does that mean I pass?" he asked excitedly.

Hidan nodded tiredly, wincing when Tobi let out a loud whoop and jumped joyously on the spot.

"Yeah, yeah. Congratulations. Do me another favour and call Zetsu. I'm too tired to get rid of the corpse," Hidan muttered, rubbing his forehead.

"Sure thing," Tobi chirped, then added, "I can't believe my luck, Hidan-san. I was about to give up but I finally found a lady who said she could be a virgin."

Hidan nodded unconsciously.

"Yeah, they're hard to find in this day and age"—he stopped, suddenly, brow furrowing when he realized what Tobi had said.

"Wait, a lady who said she could be a virgin?"

"Yup!" Tobi nodded. "She also said something about a charge but I told her you'd take care of it."

Whatever little blood that remained in Hidan's face drained out.

"Tobi, where did you find that woman?"

"Quite far from here," Tobi admitted. "Zetsu-san told me the directions. Without him, I would've gotten lost."

Hidan trembled.

"Where did you find her? Which street?"

Tobi thought for a moment, then put his finger in the air when he remembered.

"The red light district!" he answered, proud for remembering.

Hidan stared at him, saying nothing. By now, his face had gone stark white. When he finally spoke, his voice came out painfully small.

"…you brought me a whore?"

"No," Tobi corrected, still holding his finger up. "A virgin."

Hidan's breath shortened. Then he began to hyperventilate.

"You…you…" he wheezed, clutching his chest as he staggered forward, eyes full of murderous intent. "You idiot!"

"Ah! Hidan-san!" Tobi cried when blood spurted from the man's chest and he stumbled, catching the wall's edge as Tobi rushed to help him.

"Damn it," he said weakly, sweat building on his forehead. "I must have hit an artery or something…seriously."

Then he fainted.

Tobi caught him, panicking when Hidan's head lolled onto his shoulder, skin paler than the white half of Zetsu's face.

"Kakuzu-san!" he cried, scooping Hidan up into his arms bridal style, sprinting down the hall. "Help!"

Kakuzu opened the door and was practically knocked down when Tobi rushed into the room, gingerly placing Hidan on his bed.

Kakuzu sighed as Tobi frantically tried to stop the bleeding.

"What are you so worried about? You don't even know the guy."

"Kakuzu-san!" Tobi cried, mortified. "He's your partner."

The masked man looked at him nonchalantly.

"So?"

"So…we have to help him!"

Kakuzu stared at him before sitting back down on his bed, a calculator and balance sheet in hand.

"Yeah. You do that."

"Don't you care whether he lives or dies?" Tobi cried, aghast.

Kakuzu shrugged.

"Not really. He's a pain in the ass and he was asking for it, stabbing himself like that. Besides," Kakuzu looked up, looking annoyed. "The bastard refuses to die. He'll be fine by tomorrow."

"Are you sure?" Tobi said worriedly, looking down at Hidan's ashen face.

"Positive."

"Okay then, if you say so," Tobi mumbled, subdued.

"Did you pass Hidan's test?"

Tobi thought a moment before answering.

"Well, he said I did…but then I told him something about the lady and he got mad. He fainted before he could say anything else, though."

Kakuzu looked up, somewhat surprised.

"Is that so? Then you've cleared two tests."

Tobi nodded, brightening somewhat at being acknowledged for his efforts.

"Kakuzu-san, I believe you're supposed to give me a test, next," Tobi reminded him.

The masked man nodded absently.

"Yes. Tomorrow. It's late now."

When Tobi didn't take that as a hint to leave, Kakuzu looked up, finding the masked man staring intently at Hidan.

"I told you, he'll be fine."

"I don't know…" Tobi said doubtfully, poking the unconscious man in the arm. "He looks really weak. Maybe I should…"

Kakuzu canted his head in curiousity when Tobi trailed off.

"Maybe you should what?"


Hidan woke the next morning, alive and feeling relatively well, or, as well as one could feel after losing three liters of blood.

He also found himself feeling unusually warm and comfortable, vaguely wondering how that was possible when his mattress was rock hard.

And, he noticed, brow furrowing. He felt dry. No blood. No metallic smell.

Hidan shifted, freezing when he realized he was swathed in a blanket, naked except for his black boxers.

His breath hitched in alarm when he tried to move his arm and found it pinned beneath something warm and heavy. He glanced up, and felt the blood drain out of his face.

Tobi stared at him, his masked face inches from his own as he spoke.

"Hidan-san!" he said brightly. "You're all right!"

He was in Tobi's bed. Tobi was in the bed with him. And Tobi was holding him.

Oh. Oh God.

Hidan took a few shuddering, gasping breaths, each growing shorter than the last before he reeled back and screamed bloody murder.


Note: Reviews would be lovely? XD