"What the hell?" Were basically the only words that could sum up my feelings at that time. This was not my apartment. This was not an apartment at all. I didn't even know what it was. To be honest, the first thing I thought was that someone, as a cruel joke, had slipped drugs into my shower water. The whole of New York City was probably high right now. Tripping on some form of drug that they had been exposed to on account of the water. I figured I'd role with it. I mean if you're going to hallucinate, you might as well play along, right?

Well, anyway, I was surrounded by stone walls. Behind me was a doorway which led into some sort of medieval- looking bathroom. Bathroom is the exact right word to use here because there was literally only a bath. Nothing else. In front of me was a long ass hallway. One that, to me, seemed to go forever. I did the only plausible thing and walked down it. About twenty steps down there was a huge staircase on my right. I decided to go up it. This hallway seemed pretty deserted anyway, and, to be honest, I was hoping that upstairs would be more exciting. I was hoping for a Willy Wonka's chocolate factory sort of setting or candy land. I mean, this was my hallucination. No such luck, however. Instead I found more stone walls…and a beaver.

I looked at the beaver for a while and he looked back at me. I think we were both thinking the same thing at that moment. Something along the lines of, "Who the fuck is this?" Though in the beaver's mind there probably wasn't swearing. I don't know, maybe beavers do swear, but he seemed pretty straight edge…for a beaver. I did something strange then. I told him hello. Then he told me hello back. I was pretty happy about this situation. Partly because he was a talking beaver and that's awesome, but also because I figured he was some part of my conscious that was going to explain why I was having this particular hallucination.

So I asked him, "Who are you?"

"Who am I? Who are you?"

"I totally asked you first."

"I'm Mr. Beaver. I work here. Your turn."

"You work in my brain? Cool. I'm Macy. I'm the brains behind this whole hallucination."

"Hmm..okay. Well, do the Kings and Queens know you're here?"

"Dude, there are Kings and Queens too? Is this like a castle or something? That is so much cooler then candy land."

"I think you need to come with me."

"Okay. You're in charge here."

He just gave me a look then and gestured me to follow him. I didn't have anything better to do so I went. We walked through a few corridors and up a few flights of stairs. It took a while, this was a fucking castle after all. Finally, we came to two huge doors. They were about four times my height and spanned the length of the wall. I looked down at Mr. Beaver. I really wanted to see how he was going to manage opening them, but then he cheated. He went through a tiny door that was built in the big doors. This door was about half my size. It was the perfect size for him. I was suddenly reminded of the door in Ghostbusters. I was super confused. Should I follow him? Should I wait? What was behind those huge doors anyway? Probably the Kings and Queens he was talking about earlier. I had never met royalty before. We don't really have any of that in New York. I was suddenly struck with the realization that if I did want to go in I would have to either go through the tiny door or try to open the big doors that probably weighed ten times as much as I do. I decided to wait instead.