Author's note: Plot bunnies rule. I thought this would take me a lot longer to do. Includes spoilers for SWAK, Hiatus (I think), Requiem and Heartland, as well as teensy ones for Young Frankenstein. A million thank yous for all the wonderful reviews and alerts! The usual disclaimer applies… the characters aren't mine, I'm just borrowing them. The story is mine, and I take full responsibility for all mistakes. The GSS is definitely mine.
This is most likely going AU after Obsession. I doubt that I'll want to incorporate the current story line for the rest of season 7.
Chapter 2: Getting Some Female Perspectives
Tony and Abby
Tony surveyed the living room: beer, check. Plates, fork, napkins, check. Music Abby might like, check. Volume turned down to a level he might tolerate, check. Relaxed mental state… no check. Tony wasn't sure what he would say to Abby, he just knew he needed to talk to someone. Life had gotten strange fast.
The doorbell rang; Tony ran a hand nervously through his hair. He wished he'd gotten a feel for whether or not Gibbs would object to him talking to someone about all this. Best thing he could do, most likely, would be to dance around the truth. He could do that - he was good at it.
He opened the door to find his favorite Goth standing laden with bags of Chinese take-out. Tony gave an extravagant bow and waved her into the apartment. Abby flashed him a bright smile, handed him the bags, and somehow managed to toe off her knee high heavy boots, leaving them at the door. She followed him into the living room and helped him unload the bags onto the coffee table. They both sat on opposite ends of his large couch, loading the plates up with food. Abby grabbed chopsticks out of one of the bags, while Tony grabbed the fork. They shifted into position with the ease of long practice, each leaning against one arm of the couch, facing each other like bookends, sock-covered feet up on the cushions.
Tony looked up at Abby after surveying his plate. "Hi, gorgeous!"
Abby grinned at him, and shot back with "Hello, handsome!"
Tony smirked at her, then asked, "So, is Abby normal now?"
"Oh, I love that movie! Gene Wilder is the bomb. 'Werewolf?! There wolf!' Can we watch it later?"
Tony smiled. "Sure, Abs, but you have to answer my question… all de-Caff-Powed?"
Abby rolled her eyes. "Would you believe Gibbs tried to give me another before he went up to MTAC tonight? I swear he does it on purpose."
Tony agreed. "I think he keeps us around because we amuse him. He just doesn't like to show it. So what was the final score on the GSS for today?"
Abby chewed and swallowed, frowning. "Ducky called me up with the weirdest data set. Then McGee e-mailed me a 1.9 when you and Ziva left for the day."
"Ducky? Somehow I'm not surprised. So does that make things more or less hinky?"
"I don't know. It's still going to be a higher daily average than usual. I'll have to see what happens tomorrow. You know, I was thinking – that 8.7 is a record."
"How high does the scale go?"
"Up to 10. But a 10… that would be like the Holy Grail of the GSS!"
"You know, Abs, I may have seen one, that time we were in Stillwater and Gibbs drove his car for the first time."
"Really?! I wish I'd seen it… must have been amazing!"
It was.
They ate for a little while in companionable silence, occasionally having a foot fight when someone's legs strayed too far over to the opposite side of the couch. Finally, after second helpings, the plates were left on the coffee table. Abby settled back into her corner and sipped her beer.
"Alright, Tony-love, talk to Dear Abby. What do you need advice about?"
Tony sighed. "Well… you know I haven't been dating much lately, right?"
Abby gave him a sympathetic look. "So, what's the problem? Is Don Juan DiNozzo really asking me for dating advice?"
Tony gave Abby a mock glare, and poked her leg with his foot.
"Not really. Just want a woman's perspective on something."
Abby made a show of getting comfortable.
"Alrighty! Shoot."
Tony fidgeted a bit, suddenly restless.
"Abs, how come you haven't settled down with someone?"
Abby smiled. "That's easy! I haven't found the right guy yet."
"Sooo… you're waiting for your soul mate?"
"Tony! Are you? Or have you found her yet?"
"Sort of… it's just hard to be sure. I really don't want to mess this one up."
"Tony, this is so exciting! Who is she? How long have you known her? Don't worry, soul mates click. You'll just know."
Tony wrinkled his nose at her.
"Seems a little overly idealistic, Abs."
"No way! It's true, you'll know!"
"But what if that person is someone you aren't sure you're physically attracted to? Can you click with a soul mate but not want to sleep with them?"
"Of course you can. But odds are you'll eventually become attracted to them. It's the person on the inside who's really important… the rest is just window dressing."
"Huh. But how do you recognize your soul mate?"
"I don't know if you can generalize it, because soul mates are different things for different people. Maybe an example…" Abby took another swallow of her beer and looked around the room for a minute, bopping her head to the music as she thought.
"Oh, I know! Take you and Gibbs!"
"Me and Gibbs?" Tony was the picture of innocent confusion.
"Sure. If one of you was a woman, you'd be the hottest thing since Brangelina! With fewer paparazzi."
"What makes you say that? I mean, Abs, it's Gibbs!" Tony shifted around in his seat.
"Come on, Tony! Talk about clicking! You guys were joined at the hip since day one. One minute you're with the Baltimore PD, the next you're on Gibbs' team. He never, ever called you by the wrong name like he did with Stan for years. Years, Tony! You two can carry on an entire conversation just by looking each other in the eyes. Gibbs worries about you more than he does anyone else, even me. He's very protective of you – you should have seen him when you had the plague. He yelled at me! You always have his back, and he always has yours. You're the only one besides Ducky who consistently stands up to him and calls him on his mistakes. You've had some rough patches, but you worked through them, and you trust each other now as much as you've ever done. You two are as close to soul mates as I've ever seen. If things were a little different, we'd have been at your commitment ceremony years ago. Of course now you could legally get married… I could help you plan the wedding!" Abby gave Tony a wicked grin.
"Thanks, Abs. I guess I just have to find a female version of Gibbs, huh."
"If you ask me, no one will measure up to the original, but since you're both het, you'll have to settle."
"What if I can't find her? Do I go for Gibbs? Can someone just add to their sexual orientation?" Tony tried to make it sound like a joke; he wasn't entirely sure he'd pulled it off.
"Oh, Tony! You'll find her, I know it. You're totally awesome. You know I'm here for you, right?"
Abby launched herself at Tony, pulling him into a hug. He hugged her back. Part of him wanted to tell her the truth, to push for an answer to his question. The rest, he had to admit, was panicking a bit. He decided he'd better leave it alone, at least for now.
"Thanks, Abs. I'll keep the faith. Ready to watch Young Frankenstein?"
Abby gave a squeal and squeezed him harder. She released him with a quick kiss on the cheek, then scrambled off the couch and started to clean up. He moved to help, but she shooed him away.
"You set up the movie, I'll take care of this."
She disappeared into the kitchen. Tony walked over to the shelves containing his DVDs. He put the movie in the player, pausing as he caught sight of a reflection in the dark surface of his flat-screen TV. His own troubled face stared back at him.
I promised Gibbs I wouldn't freak. I'm freaking.
"Abby!!"
Abby came running back from the kitchen.
"What, Tony? What's wrong??"
Tony stared at his reflection a moment longer, then turned to face her. Taking a deep breath, he met her eyes.
"It's Gibbs."
"What?? Did he just call you? What happened? Oh my god, he's in the hospital!" Abby sounded panicked.
"No, no, nothing like that! I'm sorry. I mean – it's Gibbs. My sort of soul mate. The thing I don't want to mess up. It's him. Me and him. Us. Maybe. I think… we haven't talked about it enough…"
Abby stared at Tony, jaw literally dropped, eyes huge.
"TONY!!"
She ran to him, crushing him into bear hug, knocking the air out of his lungs.
"Oh. My. GOD. This is amazing. It's incredible. It's the best thing EVER. You are so perfect for each other. We've talked about it, I mean me and Ziva and Tim and Jimmy, but we didn't think either of you would ever go for it… wow, wow, wow, WOW. Can I be your best person?! Have you kissed yet? Are there pictures? Please tell me there are pictures. Video would be awesome. WOW. Do you realize this explains today's GSS rating? I love it when the anomalies make sense. Science rocks. But seriously, how did it happen? You HAVE to tell me, Tony!"
Tony tried to hang on to Abby, tried not to fall over, tried to process her words, and tried to speak. The latter was really difficult without oxygen.
"Can't breathe…"
"Oh, sorry!"
Abby released him and stepped back. The joy on her face was almost blinding.
"Speak!" she demanded.
Tony recovered his balance and stretched his neck a bit, checking for muscle strain.
"Woof?" he said.
"Stop that!" Abby reached out and punched his arm. "How could you possibly justify trying to snow me on this? This is way too important for you to keep it to yourself. You need my advice!"
"Well, yeah, Abs, that's why I asked you over to dinner."
"So why were you letting me think you were talking about a woman?"
"Because I'm a bit freaked out by it all, Abs. It's Gibbs. I can lose him by screwing up, and god knows I've screwed up enough relationships in my life. And this one is so important to me. Yeah, there's all that stuff you said before, but that doesn't necessarily translate into a relationship, like a romantic one, complete with the sex thing… can I do the sex thing? With a man? With Gibbs? What if we try, and I'm a disappointment? What if he doesn't want that? Things were so good, and I had to open my big mouth…"
Abby put her hand over Tony's lips, shutting him up. She looked into his frantic expression; her own was calm.
"Tony, you won't lose him. He loves you. Whether it can be a romantic love or not, he does love you. And you definitely love him. I just didn't know it really could be the forever, buy matching rings kind of love. But I just know you two will work it out. You've talked a little?"
She lowered her hand when Tony nodded.
"Yeah… Gibbs said we'll figure it out. He wanted us to talk some more tonight, but he had to be in MTAC. We promised each other not to freak out… but I'm freaking out."
"Is it mostly the sex thing? 'Cause the you and Gibbs thing, you'll be fine. But I could see the sex thing being a problem… not in the execution, but in the anticipation. You've never really thought about being with a man, have you?"
Tony shook his head.
"No, and Gibbs said he never has either. But we've both kinda admitted there's something there."
Abby grinned.
"Hey, that's a start! So what do you know about guy sex?"
Tony felt the blush coming on and tried to suppress it. Unsuccessfully.
"Not much. Had some friends in college, they used to talk about it sometimes… but that was a long time ago, and I wasn't exactly taking notes."
Abby nodded decisively, grabbed Tony's hand, and pulled him toward his desk, where his laptop was sitting.
"Forget the movie, Tony. You and me, we're gonna do some research. To the internet!"
Tony followed along obediently, not that he really had that much choice. Suddenly his brain registered something important… "What do you mean, you all talked about it?!"
Gibbs and Shannon
Gibbs made his way over to the jars and bourbon, but once he got there he hesitated. Sometimes the bourbon was just something to enjoy, sometimes it was to help him forget. He didn't want either tonight. The MTAC op had been a success, as far as it went. There would be more to do tomorrow, but the timing would be better; he should be done with it, if all went according to plan, by late afternoon, and he could have that time with Tony in the evening. He'd thought about Ducky's advice on and off, when he could give it some attention. He agreed with his friend; he and Tony needed to talk more, and soon. They'd both promised not to freak out tonight, but Gibbs thought maybe they should have planned to meet up despite the late hour. If he knew Tony, his friend would get worried about messing things up, about making things difficult at work, about disappointing Gibbs. Gibbs knew that he, himself, was already worried about what he'd told Ducky: the last thing he wanted was to lose Tony. He didn't have so many friends that he could afford to lose one, and if he were honest with himself, Tony really was more than a friend already. He definitely didn't want to mess that up any more than Tony did.
Gibbs moved over to a drawer in the workbench, opened it, and pulled out a picture. It was one of Shannon that he treasured. A close up of her smiling, happy face, eyes sparkling at something he'd said just before he'd captured her on film. Kelly had just turned three, and Gibbs was home from a tour overseas. It had been a wonderful time with his girls. He closed his eyes; if he tried, he could hear her laughter, smell the light, clean fragrance that always seemed to accompany her. He would forever associate her with sunshine and fresh air. Opening his eyes, he looked down at the picture again.
Whether he'd imagined it or not, the experience of seeing and hearing them again when he'd almost died in the car trying to save Maddie had begun a healing process for him. He could think of both Shannon and Kelly without feeling the horrible pain and sense of loss he always had before. Somehow he felt he'd gotten the forgiveness he'd craved… absolution for not being there to protect them. Kelly telling him to go back, that it was alright, and from Shannon, not the words so much as the feeling. Love, acceptance, a certainty that they'd be together again.
The basement was Gibbs' place to connect with his girls. He'd not been entirely truthful with Tony when he'd said last night that without another marriage and divorce, there wasn't likely to be a boat. The boats had never really been about his ex-wives… they'd been his way to be with his family. He and Shannon had built a boat together, many years ago, before Kelly. After Kelly's birth, they'd started another one. Kelly had helped, when she'd been old enough. Gibbs sometimes felt his happiest moments had been in the basement with them, all working and laughing together. After their deaths, the boat and the basement had become his refuge as well as his self-imposed torture chamber, his way of connecting with his lost family. Sometimes he would talk to Shannon, imagining her answers, hearing her voice, feeling again that sense of belonging. He hadn't done that as much since the day Kelly, Shannon and Tony saved him from drowning. Not building another boat was really a way of moving on, continuing the healing process that had started then. He really should tell Tony that.
Gibbs looked down at the picture, tracing Shannon's face with his fingers.
"I still miss you so much, Shan. Always will. But maybe I'm ready to really let someone in, now. I wonder what you'd think of that."
You know exactly what I'd think, silly! I'd tell you it's about time. And then I'd smack you upside the head.
Gibbs chuckled.
"Yeah, you would. Wonder what the team would say if they knew the rules and the head smacks came from you?"
You needed those smacks. You were so angry at the world when I met you. I needed them, because it helped me get through to you.
"You cured me of that fast, Shan. And now it's Tony, Abby and Ducky who keep my head on straight."
I'm so proud of you for really talking to Ducky. You haven't been so open with anyone since I had to leave.
"He was so angry with me when he found out I'd kept you and Kells a secret. I didn't want to repeat that mistake."
You did a great job, Jeth. You need his advice, so don't shut him out again. You know, I can see some of Kelly in Abby. Don't you think they'll be great friends once we're all together some day?
"Kells will want to get tattoos, you know."
Of course. And you'll want to let her; you always had such a hard time saying no to her.
Gibbs could hear the smile in Shannon's voice.
But Ducky and Abby aren't really who you need to talk about tonight, right?
"Nope. What do you think, Shan? Am I crazy?"
You always were, you know. Tony is so good for you, Jethro. And you're good for him. I do approve. The two of you together? Oh yeah…
Gibbs could hear the slightly lascivious tone. He smiled.
"You always know exactly what to say. Think I can handle it? Let the walls down? Not be a bastard all the time? Love a man?"
Jethro, when could you ever not handle something? You've come close… when we were first gone, remember? You almost made a huge mistake with that gun. I was going to shoot you myself if you'd been that stupid. But I couldn't help you – I didn't know how. It was too soon. You saved yourself then, tried to move on… you handled that, and you've handled everything since… not always the way I'd have expected, but you've always been you. That's so important. You have a chance at love again. Take it. I've never wanted you to live with guilt for something that wasn't your fault. Kells and I were so happy with you, Jeth. Remember that. And if you're happy now, so are we. Kelly likes Tony, he's funny. I think she might even have a bit of a crush.
"Hey! He's mine."
Yes, he is! So go get him, will you? Be happy, Jeth, or I swear I'll find a way to give you some more of those smacks.
Gibbs smiled at Shannon's picture. He could hear his favorite sound – her laughter. It faded away, and the sense of her presence was gone. He wasn't going to think about what was real and what wasn't. He was going to feel damn lucky, that's all.
He brought the picture to his lips, kissing Shannon's face gently. As he put the picture back in the drawer, he suddenly imagined doing the same with a picture of Tony. He grinned widely… yes, it was time to talk to Tony, see what was possible. Tomorrow, he promised himself.
The smile stuck with him as he went up the stairs to get some sleep.
Bet Abs would call this one a 9.
