Rampage
I ain't never had no fancy house or car when I was growing up in Texas. Everything we had was either borrowed or stolen. I remember that shitty house we called home that looked more like a shack. It sat on the edge of town where nobody dared to go. Momma and I always had to beg the neighbors for food 'cause there was nothing in the house and her paychecks weren't enough. She used to pay them back by doing odd jobs for them like their laundry or ironing. She always used to tell me not to take unless I could give back, but I knew she was full of shit.
On the days she worked, my third cousin Danny and I would run over to the old churchyard and get lost in the tall grass, it was the only place Danny and I could find solitude. The church had been closed down for a while, the yard was overgrown with wild yellow grass that grew over our heads. I remembered the look in his eyes when he would ask me if I had eaten. Too proud to tell him I hadn't eaten in days, I would always say yes. But he was always sympathetic and suggested we eat at his mommas house. He was my only friend. Being with him was like an ice cold drink on a hot day. He had this optimism and hope in everything we did. When I felt the walls close in around me he was there to ground me. He used to say that life ain't no candy store, it's not sweet or always pretty, but could often be hard and sour.
And when God took Danny and my momma away from me I cursed him. I had never asked nothing from no one, except to live peacefully in a world where my momma didn't work like a dog for less than minimum wage and Danny hadn't die of Polio.
But life wasn't like a candy store.
That year my life turned to shit. I was transferred to six foster homes and nine group homes because I was dubbed a troublemaker. I was arrested six times for assaulting each parent in the foster homes I was sent to. Those fuckers couldn't keep their hands to themselves. When I was transferred to my last group home, out of state in Oregon, I knew there was something different about that place. The day I walked in I knew I would own the house and everybody in it. There were few people who could resist my charm and those people usually felt my wrath. After God took momma away I had decided that I was going to take whatever I wanted by any means necessary. So I started building an army. One by one I collected the strongest boys out of the bunch and made them into my very own soldiers. Those boys lived, breathed and eat everything I told them to.
Ain't nothing like having a group of people who would always have my back no matter what. When I first arrived at the home that fucker, Darcy, called me Angel. He said it was because I was so damn pretty and reminded him of a cherub. Lord knows Darcy had a thing for the little boys in the group home. I told Darcy that I would kill him if he ever tried anything with me. I knew he didn't believe me so I waited until he fell asleep, took the sharpest pencil I could find, then grabbed his dick and, when he woke up I threatened to take off one his balls if he ever touched me.
He never did.
I had the entire house wrapped around my finger until Masen fucked everything up. I always knew that kid would destroy me. The day he left the group home my whole fucking world crumbled. I don't know how he did it but, there ain't a day that goes by when I don't think about him. After Danny, I swore that I would never have another friend, just soldiers. The thing I liked about soldiers is they are mindless and do what they are told, no questions ask, but Masen was different. I remember the day he came to the home. That scrawny motherfucker was a fighter, he walked right in like he owned the place and started a fight with anyone who looked at him cross-eyed. Peter and I enjoyed kicked the shit out him because he was just too easy. I knew that by beating him up I was making him stronger. He would thank me for it.
Without a doubt he would be one of us. It was only a matter of time before he crossed over to the dark side. I took a liking to his ill tempered nature. The way his emerald eyes pierced my body every time he looked at me was downright unnerving. It was like he could see right through my facade and call me on my bullshit. I trained him to be a soldier, only to realize that he was the one training me.
When he left he took my whole world with him leaving me to clean up the mess. It's been six years and his face still haunts me.
A hard tap on the shoulder pulled me out of my euphoria state.
"Sir, we are arriving at our destination," a women said her eyes wandering up and down my body before turning and walking away. I ran my hand through my curls and then over my scruffy jaw. My hand automatically fiddled with the cross I had on a necklace around my neck.
"Next stop Forks."
A voice boomed over the intercom. Zipping up my leather jacket, I threw my duffel bag over my shoulder and once the trained stopped I got off.
"Jas!" A voice called as I stepped on the platform. Looking around the first thing I noticed was his dark brown, nearly black hair falling into his eyes.
"Peter," I breathed and nearly tackled him. Wrapping my arms around his broad shoulders I inhaled his clean scent. I hadn't seen Peter since we left the group home at eighteen. Once Peter and I got out I went to Texas for a while to see if I could find any family, when I found none I came back. We formed a new gang and wreaked havoc in Salem. The boys we recruited were no older than sixteen or seventeen. I taught them to never give-only take.
The ends always justified the means.
We began to loose ourselves in training and recruiting boys to use their instincts when they were on the streets. On the rare occasion if the boys got out of line I would need to beat them into submission. Peter would always object but he never understood the power of fear.
Soon after I built the prefect army I was arrested for robbery. One of my soldiers named Aro needed some food. He was scrawny kid and Peter immediately took pity on him because Aro reminded him of his own childhood. I knew Peter ain't never been good at robbery so when the cops closed in around him I knew he was going to get caught, so I did what any lieutenant would do in a situation like that. Once I was sure Peter had the money and was safely away I beat the store clerk to a bloody pulp and stuffed whatever I could in my pockets so it looked legit. When the cops found me I looked like I had robbed the store and beaten a man half to death just for the hell of it. I was sentenced to three years in prison but, because of my age they took off a few months if I did two years of probation.
"Damn, you're skinny as shit!" He exclaimed his brown eyes dancing in amusement. "What the hell did they feed you in there?"
"Ya know the same ol'shit. I ain't had a steak in a long time," I said smiling at him.
"Well, good thing I'm here because I happen to know a diner just down the street." Peter said throwing an arm around my shoulders.
"Lead the way," I said. We talked and laughed all the way to the diner, it was just like I had never left. Peter was one of the few people I had trusted in the group home.
We were seated at the diner and a waitress came over to take our order.
"A steak for my man here," Peter said, grinning at me. "And I'll have a burger with the works." She nodded and took our menus.
"So, how does it feel to be free?" he asked.
"It feels damn good. I'll tell ya one thing, dead or alive I ain't never going back."
"Good, now I got a job at the limber yard so I work most days," Peter said. "But you can stay with me until you get on your feet."
Nodding, I didn't bother thanking him because he owed me. All those nights I had spent protecting him in the home and taking jail time for him undoubtedly made him my slave for life. Whatever I needed, he would see that I got it, no questions asked.
Peter was a good little solider.
We quickly ate our food and Peter told me about life in Forks and how incredibly shitty the weather was. I laughed when he told me he was actually seeing someone and was planning on getting married soon. It must be love 'cause he had a stupid grin plastered on his face.
"Yer shitin' me?"
"Yeah..." He said looking away from me. "Her name is Charlotte and I love her."
"That's great! I'm happy for ya. I know how hard it is with ya and tha ladies. What with that limp in all," I joked.
"Shut up asshole,"
"Well, I'm fuckin' glad ya got a girl. It's about time."
"Yeah, she's everything I will ever want," Peter said his eyes locking with mine and I knew there was some underlying meaning there. Quickly glancing over him I noticed he had grown up a bit. His hair was thicker, his muscles more define in the thin t-shirt he was wearing and his jaw was angular covered with in blanket of stubble.
I looked away feeling slightly uncomfortable with the way he was staring at me. I toyed with the cross on my necklace until the waitress came back with our food and we ate in compatible silence.
"So what are your plans now?" Peter asked, trying to remain casual. I knew he was really asking if I planned on going back on the streets.
"Now that I'm outta the system things are gonna be bigger and better for us. I know things aren't the same anymore, and that's okay, because now that we're older we will have more influence on the streets. Trust me when I say I've seen a lot of fucked up things in prison, but those things have made me stronger than ever."
Peter was silent for a long time before he spoke. When he glanced up to look into my eyes I knew that his days on the streets were over.
"Look, I know I have a lot to make up for but I can't do that forever."
"Whatcha mean?"
"Jas, we were kids back then. You can't honestly expect me to go back to running the streets with you. I've thank you over and over again for saving my life, and without you I don't know where I would be. The way you looked out for us...me, I could never repay you and I am truly thankful. But, I have a life now."
"Oh, now ya got a little gal ya think yer bigger and better than me?" I asked glaring at him.
"No, no, it's not that. It's just I know our childhood was fucked up. Nobody understands that better than me but now we have a chance to make it right. Now we can live life without fear."
"What the fuck are ya takin' 'bout? Our life is in the streets. When the hell did ya become so fuckin' soft?" I accused.
"Jesus, it's time to grow up Jasper! My life isn't there anymore." Peter snarled at me.
I barked a laugh. "Tell me somethin' Peter, would yer girl still be with ya if she knew all the shit that we've done? The bodies that now lay in the ground because of us? How 'bout if she knew that ya robbed a store and I was the one who took the jail sentence for ya? Or what if she knew 'bout all those kids we pushed into the streets that are now selling drugs, whoring themselves, or doing God knows what out there," I challenged him.
Peter stared down on his half eaten burger.
"I didn't think so." I spat at him. "You don't leave the streets until I say ya do, got it?"
He sighed before nodding.
"Now, tell me more about that pretty girlfriend of yers." I said cutting a piece off of my delicious steak and popping it into my mouth.
After we left the diner Peter suggested we go back to his place so that I could get settled. We walked down the street until we came to a nice apartment building. Taking the elevator up to the ninth floor, Peter walked ahead of me to his room and opened the door. Next to a jail cell, this place was fuckin' huge. The living room was spacious, there were two bedrooms and one bathroom. Next to the kitchen was a little balcony with a very nice view. I got myself acquainted in my room and unpacked some of my clothes before Peter came looking for me.
"Are you all settled?" Peter asked stepping into my bedroom.
"Hell yeah. I ain't never seen a room this big before," I grin at him. I was so excited I was nearly bouncing off the walls. It felt so good to finally have a place of my own.
Peter chuckled. "Well, make yourself at home. By the way I'll be at work tomorrow so maybe you can go around town and hand out your resume. You know, start looking for a job."
Talkin' about getting a job killed my buzz. I ain't no fool, I knew nobody was willing to hire a convict, but so I could pull my share of the rent I had to try. I knew if I didn't I would end up back on the streets, where I belonged.
"Yeah, alright,"
"I'll see if I can get you a job at the lumberyard with me,"
"Thanks," I muttered.
"Anytime fuckface," Peter said smiling at me. He turned and walked out of the room leaving me to my thoughts.
Sighing, I changed out of my skinny jeans into boxers and a t-shirt. Looking down on my duffel bag I decided to unpack the next day. My body ached as I stretched out my tense muscles. Jumping onto my queen size bed I felt my body relax as I breathed in deeply. It was the start of a new life, my new life. Maybe Peter was right, maybe it was time to finally join society and be a working class citizen.
I chuckled at the thought.
Jasper fuckin' Whitlock, a working class citizen. Closing my eyes I tried to imagine my life as a businessman with a great job and a prefect family, but all I saw were my own demons lurking in the shadows waiting for me to mess it all up. Pulling my knees into my chest I tried not to think about my own demons, but images of anemic boys screaming in agony and begging me for help plagued my thoughts. My heart thundered wildly in my chest as I willed the images away. Clenching my jaw I felt the familiar anxiety creep up my spine and spread like hot fire, scotching its way through my bones. I had to remind myself that I was safe and Peter wouldn't hurt me, but soon I heard the voice of the devil himself calling me to him. Whimpering, I felt the shadows lay beside me and embrace me as one of their own. I clutched the cross on my necklace, silently praying for the courage to brave Satan and all his legions.
The worst thing about the nightmare was I hadn't fallen asleep yet.
I was hit with rapid images of the kids I had beaten nearly to death in a fit of rage, their eyes forever haunting me. I still remember Darcy's smoldering corpse as Masen and I ran just as the fire alarm went off. All the horrible things I've done and the people I've corrupted twisted in my chest like a rusty knife as their pain became mine.
"Jasper!" Peter called, "Jasper!"
I jolted up into a sitting position, my whole body trembling as I stared at him. My t-shirt was damp, my hair sodden with sweat as I tried to catch my breath.
"Just a dream," Peter whispered, his warm hand resting on my shoulder."Still having those nightmares, huh?"
I nodded, unable to speak.
"Just like when we were kids." Peter's hands started to massage the muscles in my back. I relaxed into his touch and let his strong fingers work their magic.
"Stay with me," I breathed. It had been so long since I felt the companionship of another human being. With Peter I knew he would do whatever I asked him to and it wasn't because he owed me, it was because he wanted to.
"Always," Peter whispered, his arms wrapped around my waist as he pulled me to his chest. We had done this many times before when we were living on the streets, both of us thinking nothing of it. We were like family, so when I felt Peter's erection poke at my backside I ignored it. Feeling completely safe and relaxed, I curled into a ball and fell into a deep sleep.
The next day I woke up only to the find the bed empty. I rolled over and found a note on my pillow.
Gone to work. I'll see you when I get back.
Always.
-Peter
Rubbing the sleep out of my eyes, I swung my feet over the bed and went to the bathroom. After taking a leak I jumped into the shower and stifled a moan as the hot water ran down my back. I knew I should start looking for work. I tried to be optimistic and not think of all the people who would turn me down once they found out I was a convict. I scrubbed myself using some of Peter's body wash while making a mental note to buy my own. Once I was done, I dressed in simple skinny jeans and a band T-shirt. Peter had given me a key, so I locked the door and went to the local library. Peter had given me directions to almost everything I would need to find there.
Staring at the pavement as I walked, I followed the road to the sidewalk and quickly made my way to the library. I ain't never been to a library before so when I walked in I had no idea what to look for. I knew I had to make a resume and Peter had said the library could help me out.
"Can I help you sir?" A pretty girl with glasses and chestnut hair asked. She was sitting behind a desk with her hands folded neatly in front of her.
"Uh, ya, I am just wonderin' if ya'll can help me with makin' a resume," I said walking towards the desk.
"Sure," She said smiling. "We have a workshop on resume making today at noon,"
I glanced at my watch and I realized I was just in time.
"We hold all our seminars in room 201, just down the hall sir," She said pointing towards a door with the number on it.
"Thank ya ma'ma," I said, then turned to walk toward the room. I pushed the door open and took a seat in the empty chair waiting for the session to begin. Glancing around I saw that the room was nearly empty except for a few students sitting up front and an old lady knitting in the back. A man came into the room and began talking about how to build the prefect resume.
By the end of the workshop I had printed off a ton of resumes and was ready to start job hunting. Wandering around Forks applied to any places that were hiring, looking for the whatever I could get. A few people who took my resume called me in for an interview. I was feeling good and I nearly skipped all the way back to Peter's house.
"Hey," Peter greeted once I came through the door. "Where have you been?"
"Out job huntin'," I said, grinning wildly.
"Any luck?"
"Yeah, I got a few interviews for tomorrow."
"You'll get the job trust me, they would be crazy not to hire you," Peter said sincerely.
"Thanks asshole," I smirked at him. "So what's the plan for tonight?"
"Well, I'm meeting Charlotte soon for dinner. Would you like to come?"
"Nah, ya'll go have a good time,"
"Are you sure?" Peter asked, his eyes staring longingly into mine.
"Yeah, go be with ya girl," I said, looking away and walking towards my room. Once I was inside my bedroom, I collapsed onto my bed and let much needed sleep find me.
"It's been three fuckin' weeks Peter and nobody will hire me!" I screamed at him. Every interview I had gone to it's was the same thing. They either told me point blank that they wouldn't hire me or they said we'll call you.
Peter wouldn't get off my back about it. We stood facing each other in the kitchen, my heavy breathing filling the silence.
"I know it's tough, you've just got to keep trying," Peter said softly.
"Keep fuckin' tryin' when there ain't nobody gonna hire me! What's the point? I'm not smart, I don't know numbers and stuff like ya do."
"Don't lose confidence in yourself, you can do it. Look," he reached into his back pocket and pulled out a flyer. "Forks High is hiring for a new custodian. Call the school board and apply for the job, I'm sure they could give you something."
I ran both hands over my face feeling like a complete failure. If I didn't get this job I knew I would be back on the streets. I needed to stop fooling myself into thinking that I could live a normal life. I was born from nothing and I would always be nothing. If I left now I could return to Salem and see if our old crew was there.
"Whatever you're thinking, just stop. I'm not going to throw you back on the streets. We will figure something out trust me." His hand found its way to my neck and he rubbed it gently. When I leaned into it he jerked his hand back like he had been burnt. Awkwardly he shoved his hands in his pockets before excusing himself.
Shrugging his behavior off I called the school board and went in for an interview that same day. It turns out that Forks High was desperate and so they hired me on the spot. I wasn't stupid enough to make the same mistake twice so when they asked me if I had been convicted I lied easily. The next day I went over to Forks to meet the Principle there. Strolling over to the administrative office I asked to see the Principal.
"He'll be with you in a moment sir," The sectary said. I wrung my hands in nervousness. What if it didn't work out? What if they realized I was less than garbage? The thoughts whirled around my head until I was called into the Principal office.
"Hello, I'm Mr. Anderson, please to meet you..?" A man with salt and pepper hair and kind eyes said. We shook hands and he gestured to the chair in front of his desk.
"Jasper Whitlock."
"So, Mr. Whitlock, what brings you here?" he asked, his lip curling over his pearly white teeth. His soft face and laugh lines made me feel at ease.
"Sir, I uh, well I was hired as the new janitor."
"Hm, well to tell you the truth you are our only applicant and we've had the flyer up for a few months now. I'm glad you got the job," Mr. Anderson gave a hearty chuckle. "So when can you start?"
"Tomorrow," I said, my lips forming into a grin.
"Great! I will get the paper work for you." He stood up and shuffled some papers on his desk. Once he found the necessary documents he smiled at me before handing them over. When I reach out the grab them he snatched it back quickly, a faded smile playing on his lips.
"Sorry about that Mr. Whitlock, but I just need you to ask you a question. It's mandatory and I'm afraid we can't get around it."
I nodded.
"I know you have filled out applications that have asked this question and I'm sure the school board has saw that you have a clean record. However, I just need to go on recored to ask you one more time, if you don't mind Mr. Whitlock."
I shook my head.
"Have you ever been in jail or do you have a criminal record I should know about it?"
"No,"
"Well, of course you don't or else you wouldn't be here." He laughed. "Just sign these and we will get someone to show you around." Mr. Anderson smiled while he handed me the papers.
After I signed them I got a full tour of the school and went home to tell Peter the news. It wasn't like I enjoyed lying, I just needed this job and I knew he wasn't going to give it to me if he knew my past. I got back to the apartment nearly dancing and singing show tunes. Lord know's I ain't never been a singer, so the thought of me trying to belt out a song made me chuckle.
"Peter," I called once I entered the apartment. Looking in the kitchen I didn't see him, but I saw his keys in the glass bowl so I knew he was home. Walking towards his bedroom I raised my hand to knock, but froze when I heard voices.
"You can't keep going on like this, just tell him!" a women hissed.
"I can't Charlotte," Peter whispered back.
Ah, so it was the mysterious women who had captured Peter's heart.
"I'm worried about you. It's not right for you to keep living like this. Trust me, babe, the truth will set you free,"
Turning away from the door I walked back to my own room. I was not sure what they were talking about, but I knew something or someone was making Peter sad. I lay on my bed thinking whoever the fucker was if he ever crossed my path he would surly be dead. Yawning loudly, I figured that I would tell Peter what happened the next morning before he left for work. Setting my alarm I got ready for bed and fell into a peaceful sleep thinking about how exciting my new job would be.
I rolled over just as my alarm went off, six-thirty blinking rapidly in red light. Pressing the snooze button I tried to get my nerves under control. My stomach was in knots as I showered and dressed for my first day at work. Packing a lunch I went into the kitchen and scribble on note of a piece of paper telling Peter that I would be at work today. Grabbing my keys I walked out the apartment, shivering as the morning air blew against my skin. I made a mental note to get a coat soon because the temperature was starting to drop. Wrapping my arms around my waist I continued my walk towards Forks High.
"Good, morning, ," Mr. Anderson said as he met me at the school doors. "This man over here is Mr. Link." He gestured to a tall thin man with a receding hairline and a round belly, "And he will give you a uniform and show you how to use the floor buffer and other machines you might need."
I shook hands with Mr. Link and said my goodbyes to Mr. Anderson.
"So is this your first time in a cleaning job?" Mr. Link asked as we walked towards his office.
"Yeah,"
"Well, it's basic cleaning. However, the kids can be bastards sometimes," He chuckled. "But some of them are nice,"
We entered a door that said custodian on it. The room was average, it had a small table with a few chairs surrounding it. Mr. Link led me to the lockers and suggested I get a lock for mine.
"Here is your uniform, your shift starts at eight and your break is around twelve, then your back to work until six. Sometimes we may need you to work the night shift, but that's after two months of probation. I'll be in the other room in case you need me. You can start with the washrooms in the teacher's lounge."
I dressed in my uniform, pulled my hair into a pony tail and grabbed all my cleaning supplies. I emptied the wastebaskets, moped and disinfected the floors, cleaned the sinks and made sure the bathroom had all the necessary supplies; like toilet paper, paper towels, and soap. By the time I was finished the teachers were starting to come into the bathroom on their lunch break. I rolled my supplies out of the bathroom turned into the staff room. All the teachers were standing around speaking to each other. Thinking it would be best to be invincible, I kept my eyes down and casually tried to walk out of there.
"Mr. Whitlock," Mr. Anderson said waving me over to him. Sighing, I wiped my hands on my black pants and walked over to him. There was a pretty girl with brown hair and glasses standing next to him.
"This is a good student of ours. Her name is Angela Webber. She would like to know if she could use one of the mops for an experiment."
"Uh, ya, I guess," I mumbled.
"Great, Mr. Whitlock will show you where it is," Mr. Anderson said to Angela.
I ignored the girl as she followed me to the utility closet. Brusquely, I handed her the mop and went about my day. When lunch started all the students rushed out of their classrooms and towards the lockers. Once the hallways were clear I emptied a few of the wastebaskets and took out the recycling in some of the classes. Walking over to the nearest wastebasket I dumped it in the trash bag I carrying.
"Shit, shit, shit!" Someone cursed as they ran down the hall. A loud crashing sound and a string of curse words made me turn around, only to see a boy sprawled out on the floor.
I held back a chuckle as I realized the kid had tripped over broom I had lying next to my cart.
"Fuck, shit motherfucker, cock sucker," He muttered as he tried to get on his knees.
"Ya'll should look where ya walk," I chuckled, kneeling trying to help him to his feet.
"Don't touch me," He snapped at me, pushing my hands away from him. I tried not to take offense and I watched as the kid dusted himself off and stood to his feet.
"You've got a temper and there's no need for that. I was just tryin' to help ya out," I said standing to my own feet.
He snorted at me."What a fucking hillbilly is going to lecture me on temper? Learn proper English first before you even think about speaking to me,"
I felt my my face burn in embarrassment. My jaw clenched as my eyes remained glued to the floor.
"Do ya understand me?" The boy said mocking my voice.
I closed my eyes briefly and counted to ten before I looked at the boy who stood in front of me. My eyes wandered up his expensive shoes and khakis, and continued up his tight, white shirt. The boy was pale, lean and nearly as tall as me. Finally I stared at his face. The breathe was knocked out of me as I stared into emerald eyes, but what caused me to take a step back was his face. My stomach knotted and my chest tightened as I realized this was the boy I had spent half my life trying to forget. I memorized every line and curve of his flawless face for days and days on end.
Recognition showed in his eyes as he gazed at me with astonishment and wonder. His bronze hair was still the same, wild and windswept, his jaw was sharp and defined. I watched in amazement as his pale lips parted to speak.
"Angel?"
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