Disclaimer: Code Geass and Warhammer 40k belong to other people. I've got a few other disclaimers sprinkled throughout to avoid spoiling the (rather predictable) jokes.
A/N: These were kind of meant to silly ones, and I've added them both to one chapter due to their short length.
Fun With the Emperor's Tarot
The Ecclesiarch wasn't sure what compelled him to draw another card, but he did so anyway. His faith ensured protection from the Ruinous Powers, and his fortress guards exhaustively searched anyone entering and leaving the fortress. Was the Emperor trying to communicate a message to them? Was it a message so profound that it necessitated altering the Tarot?
He was given quite a few looks when the card was turned over. The Inquisitorial representative looked like he suspected heresy, and the others looked like he was crazy. Turning the card so he could see it, the Ecclesiarch saw red. Whoever did this was going to pay.
Depicted on the card was a human male, perhaps twenty or thirty, with short orange hair. With a black-and-white striped sweater and a dark-colored jacket, the human was motioning in front of a microphone, moving his arms in gestures that probably passed for dancing on some hive world or another. No whispers in the back of his head told him the identity of this card.
Taking a closer look, the Ecclesiarch was nearly shocked unconscious when noise emanated from the card. It was some happy, upbeat tune that he found strangely catchy. He began to bob his head to the music, and the other High Lords were joining in. The Cardinals looked on in confusion, unsure of what to do. Then the singing began, spouting some nonsense about never giving one up.
The head-bobbing suddenly stopped. All the High Lords had a feeling some huge joke had been played on them.
Meanwhile in the Warp, three Psykers of incomprehensible power devolved into uncontrollable laughter. They just stood there, leaning against one another for mutual support as the hysteria passed through their systems.
"Just as planned," Tzeentch remarked while rubbing his hands together, being the first to recover, before devolving into villainous cackling.
"I've wanted to do that for years," the Emperor added, still laughing hysterically as he wiped a tear from his eye.
The Guardian chuckled, "I knew you had a sense of humor, Tzeentchie."
The Emperor immediately stopped laughing, turning towards the Chaos god with a raised eyebrow, "Tzeentchie?"
Tzeentch looked horrified, "Not as planned! Not as planned!"
Disclaimer: Never Gonna Give YouUp also belongs to other people.
Another Familiar Face
The Imperial and Eldar fleets were thrown into high alert as a fleet of Dark Eldar warships appeared on their sensors and approached from high speed.
"Lower your weapons! We mean no harm!" the flagship announced on an open channel.
The combined fleets held their fire, but kept their guns pointed at the approaching Dark Eldar ships nonetheless. Their counterparts approached with their weapons powered down, dispelling some tension amongst the human and Eldar crews alike.
"The Supreme Archon, Mistress of Commorragh, sends her regards and has ordered that all Kabals immediately deploy for the defense of Terra!"
It took Nunnally, Suzaku, and Kallen broadcasting straight from the Golden Throne to break the stupefied silence.
"I can't say I'm not grateful," Nunnally ventured, "But wasn't your ruler male the last time we checked?"
The Dark Eldar captain wove an unbelievable tale. A stranger, neither Dark Eldar nor Half-Born, had appeared one day at the Port of Lost Souls. With naught but a sheet of paper folded over itself several times, she kept opportunistic Dark Eldar slavers at bay while simultaneously establishing a reputation throughout Commorragh. Hosting one of her parties, considered hedonistic even by Dark Eldar standards, soon became a status symbol amongst the elite. Word of the stranger and her exploits eventually reached Asdrubael Vect. Outbidding all others, he invited her to his palace and wrote her a blank check to throw the grandest and most decadent party her imagination could conceive.
"Few accounts of the party remain, and even fewer survivors," the Dark Eldar captain concluded, "Asdrubael Vect himself was found dead the next day with a Voidraven engine, seven magazines of Astartes bolter shells, three Banshee Masks from three different Craftworlds, a dozen Commissar caps, two Warscythes, a bandolier of Photon Grenades, seventeen thousand unique flavors of the confection known as 'cotton candy,' and a feathered cap scattered on the floor around him. The stranger was found sitting on the throne of the Kabal of the Black Heart, and nobody could muster the courage to challenge her claim."
"From her latest orders, I take it that this stranger had ties with us?" Nunnally asked, intrigued.
"She claims to have met you before. About this," the Dark Eldar captain raised his hand about one and a half meters off the ground, "tall. Blonde. Constantly followed around by some lovesick blue-haired idiot…"
A crash echoed through the communications channel as all three present Black Knights leaders face-faulted.
A/N: If you're curious as to what actually happened to Milly, worry not! That question will be answered!
