"Chris, could you suck it in a little more? We have to go to a planner for your father's funeral," Lois whispered sadly.
"Mom, why did Dad have to die?" Chris asked.
"Because we're real now, and real people can die. Now go upstairs and put on that sweater from your grandfather. I have to go help Meg with her dress. I'll follow you up though," Lois whispered.
"Okay, Mom," Chris whispered sadly. The two walked up the stairs sadly, but Lois turned into Meg's room. She was wearing a new dress and sitting on her bed staring at two different pairs of shoes.
"What's the problem, honey? We have to leave soon."
"One pair doesn't match the dress, and the other does. One pair is from Dad and the other one is from Grandpa. I can't decide which one is better," Meg sighed.
"Your father would want you to wear his at the funeral. This is only a planner, but I want you all to look nice. Put on the ones from my father and meet us downstairs. Cleveland is taking us there and Joe is helping with the meeting."
"Is Mr. Quagmire going to be okay?" Meg asked.
"Honey, a coroner arrived there in the middle of the night. I think he succumbed to his illnesses," Lois replied sadly. "He was a good man without the outrageous sex drive, and I think he learned his lesson, though it was the hard way."
"But he died," Meg cried. "Everyone dies now!"
"We're real, honey, and sometimes that's how real life works. Now come on, Cleveland's waiting for us."
The family piled into Cleveland's car, but no one said a word until they were at the funeral home. Lois thanked Cleveland, and then she and her family were met by Joe and Bonnie. Bonnie waited with the children while Lois spoke with the coordinator, who informed her that she didn't have the money for the funeral. An application would be sent for a financial aid company and they would call with the results. Until then, Peter would be on ice since they didn't want an autopsy. Lois and the kids left uneasy, but everyone reassured them that everything would be alright. Everyone had their doubts.
"Only a few more hours, children," Miss Frizzle whispered. No one responded, and many were napping. Miss Frizzle turned back to the panel of buttons.
Lois and the children opened the door and went into the living room. All of them sat on the couch, side-by-side, silent. The only sound was of passing cars the next street over, and a few dogs barking. Brian was one of them. He was in the backyard. Stewie started to cry, startling Lois. She had forgotten to feed him before she left, so she hurried into kitchen. When she exited to go up the stairs, Meg and Chris complained of hunger, so Lois made them go upstairs to change.
Lois grabbed Stewie from upstairs and fed him in the kitchen. He threw up everywhere, so Lois set him in front of the television. Brian wanted inside, so he joined Stewie on the couch. The television began playing the theme song for 'The Magic School Bus'. The children were then seen sitting on the bus, tired and without enthusiasm. Miss Frizzle was staring at her watch.
"And five…four…three…two…one," she counted. She then pressed a button. Everything began to rewind. The theme song played backwards, and Lois went back through the horrible feeding, then through Peter's horrible death. Meg went through her horrible job and then through her makeover. Everyone met at the stairs and rewound from there, leaving them in their previous positions.
"Miss Frizzle! According to my research, there's a portal here of some sort of energy particle. It's currently unnamed! We could live forever in science!" Dorothy Anne exclaimed.
"But only if it works," Miss Frizzle grinned. "Fasten your seatbelts kids!"
"Oh no," Arnold groaned.
"What now, Arnold? Afraid it's a one-way portal?" Carlos asked.
"Is it?" Phoebe questioned.
"There is no research on the subject. I think we shouldn't try it. Let's go to the zoo instead," Dorothy Anne tried. She sounded different. Everyone sounded different, like they knew some horrible truth.
"I agree. Fasten your seatbelts, kids! We're going to study the walrus!" Miss Frizzle smiled. She then whooped and the kids were off to the zoo.
"Look at those damn kids. That's no a magic bus, that's some magical crack right there, and not crack corn, I mean crack cocaine," Stewie whispered.
"We get it, Stewie. Just watch the damn show to make Lois happy," Brain said back.
"Why would I want to make that horrible wench happy?"
"Because she's your mother, and… Peter. Why are you home so early?" Brian asked.
"I…can't explain it. Lois! LOIS!" Peter screamed. Lois ran from the kitchen.
"Oh, Peter," Lois whispered. "Did you have the same horrible dream?"
"Only the worst dream ever. Kids! KIDS! Come here and listen to me for a second!" Peter called. Everyone met at the bottom of the stairs. "Your mother and I had a horrible dream, and I want to say that it taught me something. I need to cherish all of you, and our lives. I died in that dream. Can you imagine how weird that would be for me to die? And Meg, never change your appearance. You're fine just the way you are."
"Thanks, Daddy," Meg smiled, hugging her father. Everyone hugged, except for Stewie and Brian.
"What the deuce? That damn dream made them forget about us. Those ingrates. Hey! Hey you! Yeah you, with the face! What the hell are you still reading for? The story's over, damn it! Now get back to your little fun and games and get the hell out of our lives! Yeah you! GO!" Stewie yelled, punching out the camera and making everything go black.
'The Magic School Bus' theme plays, ending the fanfic
