He can't show his face at breakfast the next day.
He doesn't think he can face the music this soon, so he lingers behind in his dorm until it was time for class and when he arrives to the dungeons, he sees her, her face in her hands and he thinks she's crying, although he doesn't hear her sobs.
He retreats quietly back to the corridor and runs away, a coward at heart.
He buys time by going to the bathroom and washing his face, but by the time he comes back, the class has started and she's the only one left without a partner.
He can barely look at her, and his heart feels like it's going to jump out of his chest, and he can barely speak more than a couple of words to her, his throat clogged up.
He accidently bumps into her hand while adding ingredients to the potion and their eyes lock for half a millisecond, and it's the most horrific millisecond in his life, because her eyes are filled with tears and her hair is frizzy, and he can't help the guilt gnawing at his chest.
When the bell rings announcing the end of the period, he's out of his seat faster than she can say 'sorry', with a quick 'bye' thrown at her back.
His friends are glaring at him throughout lunch and it was all he could do to ignore them.
She's sitting as far away from him as possible and he's grateful for it.
He leaves the Great Hall with Emmeline Vance.
-&-
He's an idiot.
A stupid, selfish, hypocritical idiot.
There are no other words for it.
There's a nagging pain in his chest, and as he watches Emmeline's face swoop down to kiss him, he closes his eyes tightly because all he can see and feel is her, the image of her broken face burned on his retina.
"James, can you help me a little out here?" Emmeline's voice seems so far away and her hair is a dull blond, and her eyes a pale blue, and all he can see is red and green.
He blinks up at her and clears his throat. "I'm sorry, I-I have to go." He scrambles up and grabs his clothes, almost tripping on his shoes.
He pauses when he reaches the door and looks back at her confused face, a hand running through his hair. "I'm sorry," He mumbles again, and he wishes he can say it to her, and if he does, if she would even hear it.
-&-
He's taken to staring at her again.
He hasn't spoken a word to her since Potions two weeks ago, and he can tell how unnerved she was by his staring.
She'd shift in her seat, blow at her bangs, roll her eyes and complain to Alice, and it amuses him.
He finds her a couple of days later in the Library, on a Saturday, as always, and he takes a seat right across the room from her. He stares at her again and he can feel uneasiness radiating off of her, and it pleases him to know he still makes her nervous.
He writes the words "I'm sorry" on a paper airplane and sends it her way, busying himself with a piece of paper when she looks his way suspiciously.
The moment she opens the paper, he chooses to disappear.
-&-
He's sleeping when she finds him.
He's surprised to see her and his heart is beating madly against his chest, because she's there, and her eyes are so bright and green and he can't look away from her face.
"I'm sorry," He whispers, brushing his fingers against hers. She looks down at their hands and he slowly links them together, and he's hoping she doesn't pull away.
"I don't – I don't know why…" He mutters, pulling her against him and running a hand through her hair and brushing his nose against hers, and he doesn't know what he's saying. "I was such an idiot, I don't know why I did this to you, I can't-" He's panting and his lips are pressing against hers and he's speaking into her mouth, nonsense to his own ears, and he can feel her trembling and kissing him back, climbing into his lap and wrapping her arms around him. "I can't believe how stupid—" She keeps cutting him off and he doesn't think she wants him explaining himself.
Her hands are on his face and his are in her hair and her breaths are coming out in small gasps against his skin, and her skin, it was so soft and delicate and he can't stop touching her.
His fingers are dancing down her back, kneading her mound and pressing her against his erection, and his lips are tasting her neck and biting at the gossamer flesh.
"I've missed you," He whispers in her ear, before nipping at it and she shudders, moaning deep in her throat, her hands tugging at his shirt, pressing him closer to her, and he feels like she's still too far away.
It somehow feels like the end, when he rids her of her undergarments and her body is suddenly so close and warm and yielding, and he groans deep in his throat.
"I've missed you," He whispers again, this time against her lips, the slow torturous movements of her hips against his and her soft gasps in his ear. "So much…"
He hugs her tightly against his chest, kissing her deeply and languidly, and she's that girl he fell in love with again, her heart beating against his, and he thinks, it will always be her.
-fin-
A/N: So here it is, finally, the sequel to "her". I hope you like it. I personally don't, because it's "him" all over again, but I guess that's what you get from writing the same story in a different POV. I did like that it was in a guy's perspective however. I find it a good change. Anyway, I await your reviews! Lots of love.
