As the Simmons' family's disastrous Thanksgiving dinner came to a close, Robert could no longer contain his trademark optimism. Realizing that the situation between his four miserable guests could not get any worse, he spoke the three words nobody wanted him to utter. "Mom, I'm gay."

Peter gasped, spitting out his wine in a terrified manner.

"Well, Joy, I guess there's nothing more we can do," said Uncle Chuck between outrageously large bites of turkey. "Don't worry though; I'm sure there are plenty of interested men at your new librarian gig."

Joy winced. "You know, Dad, it's not men I'm interested in. And I think I know why your friendship with Robert's mom has remained platonic all these years." Without hesitation, Joy passionately kissed Mrs. Simmons on the lips, a shocking gesture which made all three males at the table blush.

"My, I haven't felt passion like that since before I married Robert, Sr.," remarked Mrs. Simmons, smiling for the first time in what was probably years. In a matter of awkward seconds, the two women were making out at the same time as Robert and Peter. Uncle Chuck shrugged his wide shoulders, and dug into the rest of the turkey like there was no tomorrow.