Chapter 2
Kisa had a few options for what he could do after work that night: he could just go home, he could go to a bar and find a man to sleep with or, as he observed when he passed by a bookstore that was between Marukawa and his apartment, he could stalk Yukina Kou. The man was going into Marimo Books without a care in the world, and Kisa couldn't help but be curious as to why a famous singer was lurking among the lowly middle class.
He wouldn't call himself a stalker; in fact, this had to be the first time he'd ever been interested enough in a man to follow him like this. Yukina didn't seem to notice Kisa was tailing him, so at least Kisa could feel less guilty as he followed Yukina right into the shoujo manga section. Kisa couldn't help but be puzzled, but Yukina finally looked his way and Kisa bolted behind a shelf before he could be seen.
"Yukina-kun!"
Kisa knit his eyebrows at the honorific. Using "-kun" seemed entirely too familiar. Kisa had been into Marimo a lot since he started working for Marukawa, and he was sure he would've remembered seeing someone like Yukina Kou. He wasn't someone you missed, let alone forgot.
He peeked around the shelf and watched as Yukina talked to the clerk. He had picked up a copy of the newest Emerald Monthly since Kisa last looked. He was chatting away about one of the titles, and when Kisa actually listened, it seemed he was going on about the last chapter of Girls Master.
Girls Master was, of course, one of Kisa's titles.
Kisa could feel himself blushing when he realized that Yukina liked more than one of his titles. He liked the Strawberry series obviously, since that was the one he had said he loved and got all the tankobon for. Then again, if he was getting the entire magazine, didn't that just mean he liked shoujo manga? Perhaps he had realized Kisa was also the editor of Girls Master so was paying special attention to it.
Kisa shook his head. Why was he making a big deal out of this, anyway? It wasn't like he'd ever talk to this man again. Perhaps he went in to Marimo to buy copies of Emerald Monthly instead of subscribing to it for one reason or another, but that didn't mean it was automatically easy to figure out his schedule or anything.
Not that he was trying to figure out the man's schedule or anything. It would probably be easier to find a curious and tipsy man at a bar than to try to seduce some young, pop idol heartthrob into his bed. He probably wasn't even into men, and why would he be? He had plenty of opportunity to date women, given his position.
Kisa sighed and was ready to go home when Yukina finished talking to the clerk. Unfortunately for him, Kisa was still right in plain sight, and instead of ignoring him, Yukina actually went over with a smile on his face. "Your name is Kisa Shouta, right? We met at the studio…"
By this time, Kisa was looking for a way out; there was no way this encounter could end any way but badly. They were also getting stares, considering everyone seemed to know who Yukina Kou was and were rightfully wondering why the hell he was talking to this random guy. Of course they could have also been wondering why he was in this bookstore in the first place.
"Uh, yes, right," Kisa said, because Yukina was quite obviously not leaving him alone until he said something. "What are you doing out here?"
"I used to work here at Marimo so I like to support them when I can," Yukina answered, holding up the issue of Emerald to demonstrate. "Kawano-san says if I want a magazine I should get a subscription so I don't have to go out whenever there's a new issue, but that's not as fun."
"…you used to work here?" Kisa asked, honestly curious. He had only a rough idea of how old Yukina actually was, but it made sense that he hadn't always been a singer. If he was fairly new at it, he could have had a mundane job like bookstore clerk.
"Yes, until a couple years ago," Yukina answered. He didn't seem to be aware that people were openly staring at them at this point. Then again, since they were in the middle of the shoujo manga section, there were mostly teenage girls and they were his demographic, after all. "When I was nineteen I was scouted as a model and there wasn't exactly time for it anymore, between that and still going to university."
Kisa resisted the urge to say that it was fairly easy to believe that he had been scouted as a model. Even though Yukina wasn't aware of the girls staring at them, he was probably very aware of just how good-looking he was. Kisa was sure people told it to him all the time, at any rate. "Ah, I see," Kisa said, averting his eyes. Yukina was smiling brightly at that point, as if he were the happiest man alive just because he was there, talking with Kisa. He couldn't imagine why, but then, Kisa wasn't so easily pleased.
Suddenly, though, Yukina seemed to realize something. "Ah, have you had dinner yet, Kisa-san?"
"…no?" Kisa said, forming it in a question just because he felt like he had missed something in their conversation.
"I was about to go get something to eat. Would you like to join me? We didn't really get to talk in the studio…"
Kisa felt like he was going to choke at that, and Yukina looked at him with concern. Kisa nodded though, despite himself. There was a war going on inside his mind: on the one hand, he was being asked out by the most handsome man he'd ever laid his eyes on. On the other hand, even if it was kind of a date, Kisa still doubted that Yukina was gay and so it was a waste of his time when he could be out looking for men who'd actually sleep with him.
No matter what his mind was telling him though, he found himself following Yukina and waiting for him to pay for the magazine so they could leave the store. Kisa had a feeling Yukina would want to pay for the meal anyway, so who was he to reject free food, even if it didn't result in anything?
One part of the conversation came to the front of Kisa's mind, though, and as they were leaving Marimo Books (still being stared at by passerby, and Yukina still didn't seem to notice) Kisa said, "Wait. If you were nineteen two years ago, that makes you twenty-one." Yukina nodded. "And you're still in college?"
"Yes," Yukina said. "Kawano-san thinks I should drop out, since I already have a career but… my major has nothing to do with singing."
"Then you're in school for…"
"Painting," Yukina answered. "My focus is oil painting but I do other things as well."
By then they had gotten to a fast food restaurant, and Yukina seemed to think that was acceptable enough for dinner. Of course Kisa was always eating things like this so he didn't mind. He was mostly thinking about what Yukina. He was handsome, he seemed to be nice, and he was an artist. He was, in Kisa's eyes at least, the perfect man.
"Is something wrong, Kisa-san?" Yukina asked when he noticed Kisa staring at him. Kisa shook his head. "Anyway, what do you want?"
"…ah, whatever," Kisa said, glancing at the menu. "I'm not picky."
Yukina nodded, and as Kisa suspected, he pretty much just assumed that he'd be paying for all the food. Kisa took the opportunity to go find a table, one that was in a corner away from the large window that exposed the restaurant to the street. He'd gotten enough teenage girls staring between him and Yukina just on the way there. If Kisa had to say, he really didn't like drawing attention to himself. That may have seemed counterproductive when it came to picking up men, but Kisa was the first to admit that in situations like those, he exhibited a kind of confidence people didn't normally see in him.
Yukina ended up just getting Kisa a burger and fries, being afraid that Kisa wasn't as open as he said he was and would end up not liking it if he got him anything less basic.
"As a side note, though…" Yukina said, watching as Kisa tucked right into the burger. A bit of sauce trickled down his chin, and Yukina was tempted to wipe it away. He averted his eyes. "I probably won't be a singer long enough to call it a career. So college is a good idea, right?"
"Ha, yeah right," Kisa said despite himself. "You have the kind of face that could last a long time."
"What do you mean by that?" Yukina tilted his head and blinked, and Kisa was reminded of just how naïve this man really seemed to be.
"I mean that you'll have fans even as you get older, is all," Kisa said. "You're… really good looking and that appeals to people." He could feel his face going red, so he tried to hide himself behind the burger again.
Yukina seemed to consider this as he ate a fry. "Is that the kind of thing you like, Kisa-san?"
Kisa froze at that. He'd known this man for less than a day and he already seemed to be making correct assumptions about him. To cover up his discomfort, he said, "Ha, I don't know what I like. I've never had a serious relationship." He wasn't sure if that was the best thing to say, but it at least wouldn't be admitting he was gay to a man he barely knew.
"Well, there's plenty of time for you to find someone special," Yukina said mildly.
"…not really," Kisa averted his eyes and played with the straw in his soda. "I turned thirty this year. I kind of feel like I've expired." When he looked up, Yukina was just staring at him. "What?"
"You're how old?" Yukina asked, eyebrows raised up into his hairline.
Kisa sighed and produced his ID, a move he'd gotten used to over the years since he pretty much stopped aging at twenty. "How old did you think I was?"
"I don't know," Yukina said with a sheepish smile, handing Kisa back his ID. "I thought you might have just been really good so they hired you early…"
"Yeah right," Kisa said, rolling his eyes. "I've worked at Marukawa for years but they seem to enjoy reminding me that there's only so much I can do."
"But you did such a good job with Strawberry," Yukina said, his voice earnest.
"Yeah, and I worked equally hard on Girls Master, Choco Kiss, Mushroom's Bamboo Mountain…" Kisa trailed off when Yukina started giving him a strange look, and he shook his head. "The old sayings are wrong, you know. Just because you work hard doesn't mean you get further in life."
"But those are my favorites!" Yukina said, still earnest. He actually leaned forward a little, and Kisa leaned back, afraid Yukina might actually jump over the table at him. "You'd consider yourself a success if you sold a lot of copies, right?"
"I guess." Kisa cringed. He hated himself for bringing this up with this man he barely knew. Usually the complaints about not selling tankobon and going nowhere with his career were reserved for his internal monologues, but there was something about Yukina that made Kisa just keep talking. And that wasn't exactly a good thing if he was going to establish that he wasn't sleeping with this man. "But that's not happening."
"Well… the Strawberry series sold a lot because I mentioned it in an interview," Yukina said. "They asked my hobbies, and when I said I read manga, they asked me which ones I like."
"You're suggesting that just mentioning any of my titles would make your fans go out and buy them," Kisa said, his voice deadpan. When Yukina nodded earnestly, Kisa said, "I honestly can't imagine having that kind of power over people. And why would you do something like that in the first place?"
The sparkly smile was back on Yukina's face, and Kisa was tempted to squint. "Because now that I know all my titles are by the same person, I feel like I should help out!"
"Then why not promote the mangaka?" Kisa turned away and started fiddling with the straw again.
"Well… it would be helping them out too, of course," Yukina answered. "But… I always felt like those titles had the same kind of atmosphere. The stories and characters were all different but there was just something about them all that I liked. And now I know it was because you worked on them all." Yukina's smile grew even brighter. "If selling copies would help you, Kisa-san, I wouldn't mind at all."
"Probably wouldn't be much use to tell you not to," Kisa said, sighing. And why would he? Yukina was offering to make his fans aware of Kisa's titles, and if he really was as famous as Kisa suspected, that could potentially be a lot of sales.
"And anyway, I like you," Yukina said. When Kisa looked alarmed, Yukina continued with, "You talk to me normally, like you don't care that I'm famous. The only people I manage to have decent conversations with regularly are Kawano-san and the woman who comes in to clean my apartment for me."
Kisa ducked his head; he hadn't even thought about it that way, just that he'd been talking with Yukina about various things and couldn't seem to put the filter on his mouth that was usually there. Before he could comment on this, though, his phone went off. He half-expected it to be Takano, saying that he needed to get something or other done.
He narrowed his eyes when he saw the number, though. Yukina looked concerned as Kisa dismissed the call. "Is something wrong?"
"No," Kisa muttered, turning his phone off. That particular man had been calling a few times an hour for a week now, and he was getting sick of it. He had blocked one number but he had somehow managed to call from another. "It's just… this person who wants to go out with me. I keep saying no, but I don't think they take me seriously."
Kisa stared down at his food as Yukina remained silent. He'd managed to not include gender in the explanation, but he still felt like Yukina was somehow judging him. He had finished his burger in his attempt to pay attention to anything but Yukina, so he picked up his fry container and said, "I should probably get home, though. I have work tomorrow so…" He bowed and didn't give Yukina a chance to reply, just running for it.
Well, Kisa thought as he stopped running after he turned a corner, he was nothing if not consistent when it came to the prospect of lasting relationships.
