I don't own CATS. Of course I don't. I do, however, own this piece of writing.
I'd also like to mention that I adore constructive criticism. Please leave some for me, as it can only help to make the story much more enjoyable.
I am starting this after having received 2 very generous reviews, praising me gloriously. If I could give those two a great big 'thank you' (you know who you are), and then follow that by dedicating this chapter to you both.
Oh yes, and please do be aware that everything that you read from the title down represents the FICTIONAL view of a FICTIONAL character. I may share the view of the character on a certain subject, but then again I may not. Bear that in mind while reading.
Now on with the story...
Pouncival's Tale
Chapter Two - The information is given
Now I will admit that I lied earlier. I do, infact, remember more than just the room going black. A fair bit more. When I say a 'fair bit', I do of course mean a 'freaking heckload'... if that term is accepted in conversation nowadays. In fact, if any of you readers do not like this term, or are otherwise offended by it, I would appreciate if you were to leave this fic alone right now.
Now that I've ridden of the first load (or the heck-haters, as I like to call them), I would like to mention to all that I do condone homosexuality. I have no displeasure towards them, and firmly believe that all that hate (or are otherwise hurtful in speech towards) gays and/or lessies should be hung, drawn, quartered, and then stamped on for a little bit. Not too long, mind... just long enough to get the point across. If they can still breathe, it's too little... whereas if they are actually so flat that they could be rolled up to make a large cigar, then it's too much. I know that this is common knowledge, but some of the lesser State Governments refuse to tell their people of these things.
Anyway.
I woke up in a pitch black room. Odd, because I'm sure that I fell in the early morning. Oh yes... I fell off of my chair. I'd bet my hat that someone is sitting on it right now... but then again, I don't actually have a hat. So that's a win-win bet for me!
I don't actually know where I learnt that phrase... maybe I heard a human say it, or something like that. Or maybe, in a previous life, I was a hat-obsessed human, who worked from 9 till 5 every Sunday in a little shop called 'BRACKENHAUSE', who said that quote every day because it was his job, and then maybe he could have had a really good-looking partner who he would come home to every night and say 'iiiiit's ME!' because that would be our thing, and... no, wait... I heard Munk say the hat thing yesterday. Darn... I would've liked those aforementioned living arrangements. I think I'll make a note of that.
NOTE TO SELF:- Become human and live with partner, and say 'it's ME!' every afternoon, but with 6 'i's instead of 1.
Right, now that that's out the way, I can continue.
So the room was dark. Really dark. I mean, you might think that it's dark under your duvet covers, but that's nothing compared to this. I mean it was so gosh darned dark, I couldn't even see myself think. No, wait, that didn't make much sense. I couldn't even hear myself think.
Again, sorry... I meant to say that I could hear myself think, but couldn't see anything in front of me.
At this point, I was honestly worried. Quite worried. Quite freaking worried. In fact, I was pretty much wetting myself with fear. I mean, it's one thing to wake up in a dark room but it's another to suddenly hear approaching footsteps, getting louder and louder...
At this point, I opened my eyes. Ah yes, that old chestnut. I must remember that for future reference.
NOTE TO SELF:- Open Eyes Ability to see.
I became a lot less worried at this point, when I saw Jenny coming towards me. "Good to see that you're awake, dear. You took quite a nasty little bump on your head. I did tell you that you shouldn't play on that chair." Jenny said, with a note of concern in her voice. I guess she had been worrying about me, but then again, who wouldn't?
"Yes... thank you..." I decided to reply, trying to sound as cool as possible... and absolutely failing in every single way. Oh well.
I think that this is a good point to pause the proceedings for a while. I can assure the esteemed reader that I shall continue my story later.. or else you will have the official right to thwack me upside the head with a lemon.
