A/N: All ShiraiFu oneshots will be posted here from now on. They are all, unless otherwise named, challenges from rage-chan. And also, none of these oneshots take place in any particular time or order.
Summary: Fuji contemplates starting a family with Shiraishi, with Chitose as the children's godfather, Oishi as the godmother, and Jirou as the perpetually sleeping tooth fairy. Yes, chilren.
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When Fuji, out of the blue one day, says, "I want children," Shiraishi does what is normal, that is, running away and hiding behind a chair in the hopes that Fuji is joking, Fuji better be joking, and if he isn't, Shiraishi will simply crumple up and spontaneously combust.
But Fuji says, "I'm not kidding," and he smiles his eerily beautiful smile, the one that Shiraishi always falls for when they've gone drinking and either of them are too drunk to understand anything going on around them. It is the smile that Fuji smiles to get him what he wants. Shiraishi counters,
"No. You're joking. You have to be," he says, still hiding half his body behind the chair, and he wonders why there isn't a biosphere surrounding Fuji so his presence is hidden and mysterious to the public. Then, he realizes that Fuji would be hidden and mysterious even if he wasn't in a biosphere, but by this time, the brunette had taken a step closer to Shiraishi, and he doesn't look like he's joking.
Shiraishi involuntarily gulps.
"I think Chitose would be a good godfather, don't you?" Fuji readily says, and his fingers reach over and trap Shiraishi's left hand in a tightening grip. He wonders if Fuji is going to rape him.
He nods because it seems to be the best action to take. The (relatively) safe one, at least.
"And Oishi," Fuji pauses. "Oishi could be the godmother. Who wouldn't want Oishi to be their godmother?"
Not Shiraishi, of course. He tries to pry his hand away to safety, but Fuji is stronger than he looks. Perhaps he has been working out lately, Shiraishi thinks. Or maybe it's steroids. But a quick glance to Fuji's calming face solve neither of his two questions.
"Oh. By the way, I've been following Atobe's gym workout. It works wonders, you know." The way Fuji says this, from the fake surprise to the satisfied grin at the end makes Shiraishi thinks that Fuji is secretly a physic. How else would he be able to play tennis with eyes closed?
Shiraishi then wonders if his will includes the new clause that he had thought of earlier. Or would it be too late to get it in?
"Jirou." Fuji says the name with almost venom on his tongue. He has taken to stroking Shiraishi's hand, and never, Shiraishi thinks, had such an innocuous act made Fuji seem so much like a pedophile. He almost jumps out of his skin.
"What about Jirou?" Shiraishi says, mainly to keep the conversation going so the attention is kept on Jirou and not him. Fuji (finally) stops stroking his hand, but his grip has not lessened one bit. Shiraishi thinks that it might be time to start Atobe's gym workout.
"He could be...our perpetually asleep tooth fairy," Fuji finishes, and for the first time, he has opened his eyes. "For the children."
"Oh," says Shiraishi. "Oh." A quick search of names through his memory brings him to Akutgawa Jirou, the regular from Hyoutei who always seemed to prefer sleeping to tennis. The blasphemy.
"Yes," Fuji agrees. "It would be perfect, no?"
Whether this is a rhetorical question or not, Shiraishi is not sure. He would like to think it is -- because truthfully, his answer is no, it would not be perfect at all.
But he nods anyway so he can treasure the wonderful act of breathing air, if only for a few minutes more. Ah, breathing. Crisp oxygen. And then he remembers a very important word that Fuji has said, and that is 'children'.
"Wait," Shiraishi says slowly, "you said children?"
"Yes. Children." And the relaxed look on his face is definitely not what Shiraishi wants to see at this moment in time.
"As in," he clarifies, "more than one?"
"Of course. Children is plural. So yes, more than one." Fuji smiles, but it is not a beautiful smile, Shiraishi thinks; this is the smile a venus flytrap would smile before it engulfed its next victim. "Is there a problem?"
There are many problems that Shiraishi can think of, but Fuji's grip is still strong. So he says, "No."
And Fuji replies, "Good. I didn't think there would be." And then he smiles.
And then Shiraishi begins to list everything he is thankful for, and he wonders if he remembered to leave his tennis raquet in his will to Chitose and not Kintarou.
END
