Chapter 2

About desire

For some years now, Rin has been living with Kaede-sama, the old village priestess. She saw Sango and Miroku have their first child, and Kagome's return. The joy of those moments had made her a little envious. Love was triumphant in this village. Kagome was pregnant and she walked around with her belly, her eyes sparkling with joy. Inuyasha seemed just as happy and did not leave her an inch when she left in the mountains to gather some herbs.

Rin sighed. Life was sweet here, but she missed Sesshoumaru-sama. She saw him from time to time. Each time, he brought great presents. She made all the women of the village jealous with her kimonos of the purest silk. And it was nothing! If they had seen the jewelry she kept in her room! But her greatest gift was a blanket, made with the same fur Sesshoumaru-sama wore. It smelled like him. Every night, she covered herself in its mild flavor and she recovered to face another day. Another day without him.

With the exception of Kagome and Sango, she had no female friends here. But she had an easy contact with the village boys. Since she started training with them, she knew them better and better. They were friendly, but none had the presence of Sesshoumaru-sama. For Rin, they were just friends.

At first, Inuyasha had opposed her decision to train with weapons. He believed that Sesshoumaru would disapprove such an exercise. And if she got hurt, his brother would never forgive him. It would be even worse for the one responsible for hurting her. Sesshoumaru would kill him! But Kagome had supported Rin, saying she knew it was for defense. It was certainly Kagome who understood her best. She immediately caught that her greatest wish was to return with Sesshoumaru-sama. And that time, she would not be an embarrassment to him.

The exercise of the day had left her with sweaty and sore muscles. She was trying to handle two short sticks and they often escaped her. She had bruises all over her arms and legs. She needed to take a cool bath to relieve the pain.

Rin went to a small pond she knew well. The water formed an elbow and a beautiful waterfall allowed her to wash her hair.

When she arrived, she felt a familiar tingling in her neck. Sesshoumaru-sama was there. But he came no closer. Maybe he was just passing through? Rin slowly withdrew her kimono and she entered the cool water.

She swam in the pool before getting up in the river, under the waterfall. She still felt the presence of Sesshoumaru-sama. Rin let a brief smile coming to her lips, imagining that he was perhaps looking at her. She raised her arms toward the source of the small waterfall and felt the water caress her skin, raining down her face, her thick hair completely wet. The hypothetic gaze of Sesshoumaru-sama did not bother her. Quite on the contrary, it made her feel pretty. Rin lingered in her bath for a long while. When she finally emerged from the water, Sesshoumaru was gone.

-xxxxx-

This morning, it was Miroku and Kirara's turn to train with Rin. They tried to show her how to feel the youkai s energy, the jaki.

- Well, Rin. Don't trust what you hear, concentrate on what you feel, on your instincts. Kirara will approach you, point the direction.

Kirara walked slowly to the right, but the finger of Rin rose to the front.

- Once more.

The exercise was difficult. Feeling jaki was not given to everyone, but Rin wanted to try to develop this ability. Since she already knew how to guess the presence of Sesshoumaru-sama, maybe she could feel the other youkai. This could be very useful to be aware of the dangers when she would return with Sesshoumaru-sama.

She felt something behind her, turned and pointed in that direction. But then she recognizes the aura of Sesshoumaru-sama. She opened her eyes. Sesshoumaru looked at her, eyes narrowed, interrogative. He talked to Miroku:

- Repeat.

Kirara came and Rin tried to point at her. She did not succeed. Miroku said:

- Can you point at Sesshoumaru-sama?

Immediately, Rin's arm raised in the right direction.

- Try again to point at Sesshoumaru-sama, Rin, asked Miroku.

She moved slightly to the left and pointed vertically towards the top of a tree. Sesshoumaru frowned. Rin opened her eyes and stared at him directly. He descended from the tree and approached.

- You know where I am. How?
- I can feel the aura around Sesshoumaru-sama. Since a very long time.

Sesshoumaru's eyes widened in surprise for once. Another thought crossed his mind and Rin saw the anger in his eyes. Sesshoumaru turned and left into the forest. Miroku seemed surprised, but then he saw an uncomfortable Rin quickly running to the village, in the opposite direction. This raised some questions for Miroku, but he said nothing and returned to join his family, accompanied by Kirara.

-xxxxx-

Rin found the way to the river. When she left the trail, the scene left her motionless for a few seconds. The waterfall flowed smoothly from the mountains over the rocks and the sun lit up the crystal clear water droplets. A rainbow appeared above the blades of grass and flowers on the shore. The place felt so pure, as if it was waiting only for her. She took a deep breath and let the wind play in her hair. Sitting on a large rock, she dipped her feet in the water. She closed her eyes and let her thought wander.

Sesshoumaru-sama would surely have understood by now. She could guess from the glance he gave her that he seemed irritated by her actions, but Rin had no regrets. As absurd as it could sound to him, that was the way things were. After all, Sesshoumaru-sama could be there whenever he wanted. Even when she was bathing. As he was everything to her, no time seemed too private when it came to him.

She had felt warm inside when she understood he would not leave the riverside, that he would continue to watch her. Suddenly, every gesture had become full of meaning. She had cleaned her hair, picturing his slender hands brushing through them. She had cleaned her skin, her shoulders, her chest, as she imagined his gaze following the same path down her body. The presence of Sesshoumaru-sama had made her happy. Maybe she was beautiful enough for him to look at her again?

Her movements had become slower; she wanted to capture his gaze. Sesshoumaru-sama had remained hidden, but it was easy to feel his powerful aura. She always knew when he was there, felt his comforting presence.

That moment had made her bold. She had felt the heat rise from her pelvis and a shiver on her skin. She could not decipher the emotions that were invading her, but there was no denying that she felt good. And to think that all of this was triggered only by a look from Sesshoumaru-sama.

However now was different. Sesshoumaru did not try to hide his presence. He walked quickly toward her and stepped into the river:

- You knew.

Rin looked at Sesshoumaru-sama's hair twirling in the wind. She fixed her gaze on his golden eyes. He was not angry. Sesshoumaru-sama was serious and there was even a little bit of amusement showing in his pupils.

- Why, Rin?

This question was difficult to answer. She did not really know herself.

- I wanted Sesshoumaru-sama to think that I was beautiful.
- Oh?

She did not know much about Sesshoumaru-sama's desires, but she had often seen desire for Kagome in the eyes of Inuyasha. She had heard them make love and whisper lovers' words. She had found that love and desire were probably related. And she did not doubt her love for Sesshoumaru-sama.

- I wanted Sesshoumaru-sama to desire me.
- Why?
- Because I love Sesshoumaru-sama.
- And then?
- That s all.

That's all, she loved him, she wanted him to love her, and desire her. This much was clear to Rin. Sesshoumaru-sama did not move, but his look told another story, as his eyes went slowly all over the young girl's exposed legs.

- Do you know what desire is, Rin?
- It... It is love?
- Not always.
- Oh.

Rin's voice was full of disappointment. Thus, desire was not necessarily love. Yet wasn't it desire that pushed Inuyasha to act, to initiate gestures of love with Kagome? Something was escaping Rin's comprehension.

- Do you desire me, Rin?
- I love Sesshoumaru-sama.
- But you do not know if you desire me.
- I do not know what it means!

And she smiled, quite innocently, without a second thought. Desire seemed like a complicated complex to grasp.

- If Sesshoumaru-sama wants to watch me, I hope so too. Otherwise, I ll be sad, but I'll understand.
- Really? And what do you understand?
- That I'm not good enough to Sesshoumaru-sama.

Rin smiled again. And Sesshoumaru, each time, felt his strength slowly melting away. The white skin of her neck attracted him like a magnet. He knew she would let him open her kimono and slide his hands over her tender body. She would not fear his claws, nor his teeth, and she would abandon herself completely to him. Hesitations were rarely the lot of Rin.

- You are beautiful, Rin, he said with a deep voice, looking at her very seriously.

Rin gasped when she heard this compliment. She felt as if the sun had fallen on her and her whole body was on fire. Her cheeks were red and her hands trembled a little when she undid her belt. Her kimono slipped quickly and fell in the water near the shore.

Sesshoumaru-sama, seeing the undressed body of the young woman, opened his eyes briefly. He felt the tension between them rise up a notch. Rin was naked under his eyes. And she looked at him directly, without saying anything. She was waiting for something.

- Okay. Let's see if you desire me, Rin.

He came closer, not really knowing if he had chosen to do so or if his own desire was too great. When his face was close to her, the wind sent his hair flying among a diamond dust of water droplets. He bent to kiss her. First, almost gently, like a caress, he placed his lips on the girl's. But quickly, the flavor of her mouth and the rhythm of her breath led him deeper as he took possession of her lips, her tongue, as if he meant to take her completely.

His arm went down the exposed back of the young woman. Rin leaned her head backward and sighed. Sesshoumaru sank his teeth in her white neck and he played with her tender skin, biting her lightly and sending shivers down her spine with his hot breathing. Rin could not help moaning from the sensation. Her hands went up to Sesshoumaru's head and she buried her fingers in his hair. Sesshoumaru's lip moved away slighly from her mouth.

- How do you feel, Rin?
- Sesshoumaru-sama I feel my body hot and I take great pleasure in your kisses.
- Oh And you'd like me to keep going?
- Oh! yes! And also, that you keep kissing me, everywhere. That you keep caressing me with your hands, that you let me touch your skin, that...
- Rin.
- Yes?
- That is desire.
- Oh...

Sesshoumaru kissed her chastely on the forehead and loosened his grip. With haste, he left her without looking back.

Rin was happy: Sesshoumaru-sama had kissed her, and told her that she was beautiful! But she also felt a twinge of sadness, as if his actions had only awakened the fire within her, without putting it out. Now that she understood very well what desire was all about, she thought it a very pleasant feeling indeed, but also quite a frustrating one. Her fire was still burning. Was it the same for Sesshoumaru-sama?

-xxxxx-

Sesshoumaru headed silently towards Jaken and Ah-Un. His clothes were soaked and the water still wet his face and his hair. But he did not care. He cast a glance behind him as he thought of the situation he had just left. Rin had offered herself to him. Rin, all his.

By sending her to live with Inuyasha, he had believed that her absence would have allowed him to think about something else. But now his concern was greater. His brother could not protect her as well as he could. Maybe she should return to his side?

What bothered Sesshoumaru was that Rin's image was haunting his mind, even when she was not near him. He could not help searching for gifts that would please her and bring joy to her eyes. He had to confess that their separation had not yield any result. In fact it was even worse now, he had become obsessed with these ever more frequent visits.

And the little girl had indeed matured into a very attractive young woman, which did not help the situation. Could not Inuyasha have been more discreet with her miko?, thought Sesshoumaru. But he suspected that things might have turned even worse if Rin had remained with him. Rin's smell cracked the ice of his mask and her joyful innocence gave him the wish to teach her all there was to know about desire.

He remembered Rin's fingers in his hair, her lips on his. Rin, who had already so much power over his will Rin, who never left his mind. How much longer could he accept that she was far from him?