Previously:
"Soooooooooo," Grace said "who exactly are you lot?"
"We are the Fellowship." A tall, ruggedly handsome (but somewhat grubby) man answered. He looked like Aragon, Grace realised.
Two coughs sounded behind him.
"And assorted individuals."
Cat groaned "Oh boy."
"We're doomed!" Grace agreed.
"And here I was thinking I was going to have a normal Christmas holiday!" Lizzy sighed. "Bugger!"
Chapter 2 - Bath-time fun.
The three friends looked startled at the news that the fellowship was in Cat's house and stared at them. The fellowship looked at them oddly when Grace said she was doomed. The girls stared at them. The fellowship stared back. No one spoke. No one blinked. Deathly silence followed, until Lizzy looked at them closely, and felt the need to break the now slightly awkward hush.
"Hey! If you are the fellowship, then where are Gandalf and Gimli? Why are there two extra Men? Where is Legolas? Why have you got a young elf instead? Who are the two men? Why do they sound like Eomer and Faramir?" Lizzy cried, each question melting into the next. Realisation dawned across her face. "Y-y-you're Faramir and Eomer, aren't you?" she said point a shaking finger at them "A-a-and you're Legolas." She whispered her voice trembling. She looked on the verge of collapsing, so much so that the Eomer-voice-alike rushed forward to steady her.
"Why yes we are, milady." Faramir said, confused at her reaction "Is there something wrong with us being here?" he looked out of the window "Where is here?"
"Arrgh!" What kind of witchcraft is this?" Boromir shouted, gazing out of the window and into a modern day town. He drew his sword and pointed it at Cat.
"Speak, witch, or I will slit her throat!"
"Wooah! Down boy, down boy!" Lizzy said, putting her hands up in a universal gesture for peace, practically hitting Eomer in the face with the back of her hand. He hadn't moved from his position after steadying her from her near-fainting spree. Boromir kept his sword at Cat's throat, who was trembling and turning an alarming shade of paper white.
Grace decided that she out to intervene about now. Putting on her best Denethor voice impersonation (the one that made Cat wet herself she was laughing so hard the first time she heard it) she boomed:
"Boromir what is this nonsense? Put that sword down and step away from that young lady NOW!"
Boromir started so hard at hearing who he thought was his father behind him that he dropped his sword, which Lizzy quickly snatched up and hid in an empty cupboard with a fitted child lock, and spun around only to see the entire fellowship, save Legolas and Aragorn, hysterically laughing. Pippin and Merry were rolling on the floor whilst a young girl with blonde hair smiled innocently up at him. Too innocently he realised, Faramir had tried the same thing on him too many times and he could spot attempts of the same foolery anywhere!
"Where" began Boromir, his eyes darting round the kitchen and its modern-day appliances and landing on the blonde girl once more.
"Is my father?"
"Errrrrrrm, your father isn't here." said Cat as she backed away from Boromir and went and hid behind Legolas, the latter look rather confused as to why he was being as what Lizzy so eloquently called a 'meat shield'.
"What do you mean my father is not here? I heard his voice! What kind of witchcraft is this?" Boromir cried.
"Again with the witchcraft thing." Grace sighed from where she leaned against a black granite counter-top. She turned and looked at the person closest to her.
"Is he always like this?" she asked him.
"Sadly, yes. My brother does seem to have an obsession with witchcraft." He replied.
"So you must be Faramir." Mused Grace "This is really happening, the Fellowship of the ring is really standing in my best friend's kitchen. How strange."
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While Grace was chatting with Faramir, things weren't going so well with his brother, Boromir. It appeared that he could not grasp the facts that:
A) Witchcraft didn't exist.
B) That the world he saw out of the window was real and not witchcraft.
C) That Grace had done the Denethor impression without witchcraft.
While Lizzy and Boromir were arguing about the existence of witchcraft, Boromir was incredibly stubborn and refused to accept that it didn't exist, Cat began to show the remaining people from the fellowship, and extra people who had come with them, around.
She had just finished showing them how to work the TV, Wii, DVD player and Blu-ray when an electric fan blew the body odour of the fellowship towards her.
"What is that smell?" She said whilst gagging. "It's like each of you has a dead cat, one that has been dead for a long time, under your shirt and have rolled around in animal dung for an hour each day!"
There wasn't a reply. She looked up to see a blushing fellowship shuffling around and scuffing their boots on the floor.
"Come on" She sighed, she had been sighing a lot in these past few hours. "I'll get you cleaned up."
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When she had finally got the middle-earthians, Lizzy and Grace in one room, Cat assigned each of the three girls a group to clean.
Lizzy had Faramir, Boromir and Aragorn; Cat had Legolas, Pippin and Merry, whilst Grace had Eomer, Sam and Frodo.
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Lizzy P.o.V
I turned away from Grace and Cat and led my group towards the second guest room's bathroom (the second guest room was my room in Cat's part of the house). I wasn't sure if Cat had shown them a modern day bathroom when she did the impromptu mini-tour of her house but my doubts were soon answered when they started shrieking like wild geese at the sight of the shower.
"Oh boy, this is gonna take a while" I muttered under my breath. Farimir (who had only gasped upon seeing a shower for the first time) smiled apologetically at me.
"Want a little help?" He asked.
"Please!" I breathed.
He produced a smaller version of Boromir's horn and mimed putting his fingers in his ears. I got the message and firmly plugged my ears; Faramir put the horn to his lips and blew. Wow. For such a small thing it sure can make a lot of noise, I almost felt sorry for Boromir, who was the closest to us. Almost. He deserved it after the witchcraft thing.
Once there was silence from Boromir, who was lecturing Faramir about the correct use of his horn, I began to explain the use of the shower.
"This" I said, motioning toward the shower "is a shower. It is basically a bath where you stand up but it is much quicker than an actual bath. I will start the water and then you can take turns using that shampoo and shower gel" I explained pointing to the shower gel and shampoo with my back towards the group. "Is that all clea-"I had just turned to face the three middle earthians and was greeted with the sight of them all buck-naked. Inner peace, Lizzy, inner peace.
When Faramir, Boromir and Aragorn had all finished showering and were squeaky clean and smelling of seasalt and lemongrass and were clothed in dressing gowns I went downstairs and met Grace. It turned out that the shower-fiasco had gone the same way for her minus the wild geese rendition.
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Cat P.o.V
I had just finished hearing about Lizzy and Graces' shower-fiascos (mine had been similar except Legolas didn't strip in front of me) when I realised that we had nothing for them to wear. Being an only child, I didn't have any men's clothes around the house.
"Lizzy, I need a favour in the form of theft and fashion advice for men."
