A/N: Like I promised, chapter 2! ;)
Disclaimer: *sigh of resignation* ..well, y'all know the drill: I don't own any of the characters of the Hobbit (wish I did though!) all rights go to Tolkien&PJ!
-Chapter 2-
Regaining control of my trembling body I was about to say something to break the more than awkward silence but before I could the hobbit made a weird gulping sound and slammed the door in my face. I stood frozen on the spot as I heard him taking deep steadying breaths, mumbling something to himself in a nervous way, floorboards creaked in protest suggesting he was pacing up and down, and with the speed of light by the sound of it. Then the creaking stopped and so, I assumed, had he. A second later the door swung open again. He whimpered at the sight of me and slammed it shut again in what I could only guess was a desperate attempt to make me disappear. The third time he opened the door very slowly poking his face carefully around it and upon finding me still there he sighed as if in resignation then let out a determined hum and opened it wide.
He squared his shoulders as if bracing himself, pulled the sash around his waist even tighter though it made no real difference in his appearance and said with a polished politeness that I felt was nothing short of miraculous at that moment, "Good evening. Bilbo Baggins, at your service." He made a rather stiff bow but a bow nonetheless and then, before I had time to copy the gesture and introduce myself, he went on in a formal yet somewhat exasperated tone, "I am sure I am honored to make your acquaintance, though I cannot help but wonder why I have that honor all of a sudden."
His more than justified apprehension as well as the questioning look he threw me, not piercing merely curious it seemed, had me stutter an unintelligent "U-uh.." before I quickly closed my mouth again. I followed the hobbit's gaze to my left arm still raised and ready to strike. Realizing it was about time I laid down my weapon, I cast a glance at the object in my hand and let the not so clean toilet brush drop unceremoniously to the floor in unmasked disgust. A frown creased Bilbo's forehead and he wrinkled his nose in thought.
"May I ask how exactly you came to be in my bathroom-" His inquiry was drowned by the sound of a doorbell that suddenly rang loud and clear through the long and winding tunnels of the hobbit hole.
"If you will excuse me for a moment." Clearly surprised but bravely trying not to show it Bilbo made another small bow. Turning around he hovered for a moment as his eyes found the poker he had wielded earlier as it stood resting against the curved wall. Fingers sprawled his hand reached out in its direction as he considered taking it with him but then, apparently thinking the better of it, he left it there and hurried down the hallway.
Something about staying behind made a sharp sense of panic flare up inside me and it urged me into motion so I ended up cautiously setting out after him. I left a trail of wet footprints behind but I hardly noticed it now the smial I walked through had changed drastically. It was in no way similar to the one I had rented for my holiday. This one was real.. Wait.. Was it? How could that be? I was in New Zealand, staying in a resort for Tolkien fans that did not include a meet and greet with the actors of The Hobbit.. Nor did they offer a stay in an exact replica of Bag End that looked (and felt) this authentic. So.. Did that mean I had slipped on a bar of soap, hit my head and that all of this wasn't happening at all? My confused thoughts were abruptly interrupted when there was the scraping and screeching sound of hinges followed by wood creaking and grunting as Bilbo up ahead pulled open a round, green door.
"Ha! Why, I never…!" I could hear the hobbit exclaim in genuine disbelief, evoking four loud and happy 'Goodevening's in response followed by a voice I could only describe as sounding both scratchy and velvety at the same time when it remarked with the hint of a strangely familiar cheekiness, "It's been too long, Mr. Boggins."
As boisterous laughter filled the hall I felt goosebumps erupt all over my skin at that last word I'd picked up. Impossible.. It couldn't be.. Then again, if Bilbo was here, why wouldn't the dwarves be? But even if they were, if the hobbit had obviously already met them, how could that dwarf be here.. I briefly shook my head, not wanting to revisit those heart wrenching images of the two brothers and their uncle being cruelly killed during the battle for the Lonely Mountain. Clutching my stomach that almost heaved at that particularly saddening memory I carefully peered around the bend in the hallway. Next thing I knew my still wet feet slipped on the tiles and as I stumbled forward I practically tripped over a thick carpet before recovering my balance (not my dignity, there was no hope of ever getting that back) and I ended up standing hunched and shivery like a frightened rabbit in the middle of the entrance hall. At that moment Bilbo had just jovially invited his old friends to enter with an endless repetition of "Come in! Come in!" though all the lively chatter and mirth died a horribly painful death as the dwarves noticed me. I had never felt so awkward in my life. And that was saying something. I couldn't be more out of place as I had become an unwilling witness to the reunion I was pretty sure I wasn't supposed to be a part of.
A few jaws dropped as five pair of eyes gaped at me and my less than formal appearance in a tense silence that stretched uncomfortably long. They weren't the only ones that had a reason to stare though. I knew these dwarves. OK, so I hadn't met them. But I knew them. And while I recognized each of their faces, they looked undeniably different. Oín had apparently managed to trim his wild gray hair and it looked far less unkempt and messy, as did the two curled up braids in his beard. Most notably though, was the shiny and undented ear trumpet in his hand that gleamed just as bright as the neat row of buttons on the tunic he wore. Ori still possessed his innocent and cute looks with his fringe and knitted mittens but the cardigan that reached all the way to his knees seemed made out of a fine and expensive looking fabric that I could only refer to as classy. His brother, Nori, was all sparkling and glittering, there was hardly a finger left that didn't have a fancy ring shoved on it, even his collar and boots had been inlaid with rubies, diamonds and gems and I could swear the beads at the end of his three-braided beard were made of pure silver. In contrast, Bofur wore a simple, long-sleeved cotton blouse with an unadorned leather belt strapped around it and his trademark hat still sat a little lopsided on his head. It was hard to pinpoint but his clothes seemed less patchy and baggy, and newer somehow.
Hanging back a little from the rest was the last dwarf I had expected to see. To see alive that was. And yet, here I was, staring back into two eyes a warm hazel color that observed me from under furrowed brows and through strands of his untamed hair. The intensity of his gaze alone took my breath away. In everything Kíli looked the same and yet completely different. He was wearing a long, sapphire blue overcoat the lapels of which were black, leather bands studded with metal squares tilted to look like diamonds and covered in a layer of deep, dull gold. The arm and chest guards he had on were the same, thick leather though there were intricate, geometrical patterns etched into it. And lastly, his long, straight hair, a dark shade of brown, framed his handsome face that was smooth safe from the casual stubble on his chin. He was definitely the Kíli I knew. And yet.. Some of his youthfulness seemed missing, as if someone or something had stolen it from him and a sad gravity had momentarily taken its place..
Before I could make sense of anything though, or fathom that unsettling sensation stirring in my stomach, Bilbo finally swiveled around to face me when he followed his guests' line of vision. He lifted a finger as if he needed to point at me to be reminded of our earlier meeting, however brief and inconclusive that may have been.
"Oh! Yes. Um.. Forgive me my bad manners. May I introduce.." His voice trailed off, obviously also remembering now that we hadn't come to that bit yet.
"Your wife?!" Nori was quick to seize the opportunity Bilbo's sudden loss for words provided, filling in the blank himself.
"Bilbo!" Ori joyously clapped two hands together, while Oín only added to the confusion by muttering grumpily, "Knife?! Why would he want a knife?"
Bofur took off his floppy hat and placed it over his heart, a broad smile splitting his face, "By Durin's beard you married! Why didn't you invite us to the wedding?!" He sounded both pleased and indignant, something that could not be said for Kíli who practically gulped and then mumbled a soft and embarrassed "Congratulations" before Bilbo stuttered in protest, his face as red as his prizewinning tomatoes. He shook his head and flapped his hands in denial, eventually raising them as if in surrender.
"No, no, no! You've got it all wrong." He stammered in a high-pitched tone, desperate to correct them, "That is not my wife! We are not married!"
"Then who is she?" Bofur asked, not masking his confusion and looking from Bilbo to me. The eyes of the other dwarves were cutting back and forth between the hobbit and me too as if they were going to find any clues or solve the mystery that way.
Bilbo opened and almost immediately closed his mouth again when no answer came readily to his mind, then cleared his throat as he threw me a puzzled look.
Feeling as if I had just got singled out in class when I hadn't actually prepped for it -a sensation I wasn't wholly unfamiliar with- I stupidly pointed at myself though I didn't honestly think feigned ignorance wasn't going to save me now, "Me? Oh.. Um.. I-I'm.. I'm Robin."
"Just Robin?" The hobbit queried as nonplussed and curious as his guests.
"Taylor. It's Robin Taylor." I quickly provided my last name, not sure how it would help but figuring it wouldn't hurt to introduce myself properly.
"Bofur at your service, Miss Robin." The miner took off his hat and bowed while Nori next to him tilted his head, eyes openly traveling over me and especially the parts my small towel didn't cover which before long earned him a smack on the head from his neighbor.
The thief winced in pain and shot Bofur a glare before dipping his head in a reverent bow too, saying, "Nori, at yours, Miss. And same goes for my little brother Ori." He unceremoniously pulled Ori down with him by grabbing a fistful of his sleeve. The youngest Ri brother in his turn blushed bashfully and stared at his own feet as he made a strange courtesy in my general direction.
"Oín, honored to meet you I'm sure, Miss Taylor." The healer said reluctantly, shielding his eyes with his ear trumpet, muttering under his breath to himself about propriety and shaking his head instead of bowing. There was only one dwarf left to introduce himself. My breath hitched instantly the moment my eyes found his again. He took a tentative step forward, looking torn between wariness holding him back and curiosity that urged him on. His lips parted and he had placed one hand on his chest, getting ready to bow formally, when I stupidly messed things up and spoke before I could stop myself.
"Kíli.."
He wasn't the only one to stiffen at hearing his name coming out of my mouth and not his. He straightened, narrowing his eyes in something close to both distrust and fascination. Figuring it was too late to fix my mistake I simply opted for apologizing as the only form of damage control I possessed, "I'm sorry, I just.. I didn't think you'd be here.. I mean you can't be here.."
At this Kíli's frown morphed into a defensive scowl, "I am here.. The question is, why are you?"
He had me there. That really was the question. And I didn't know the answer. Not sure if I ever would find out either..
Bofur took a step forward to stand between me and Kíli, crossing his arms so he pointed at each of us, "You have met our charming prince, have you?"
I opened my mouth to answer but not a sound came out at first. Realizing Bofur still eyed me curiously I finally managed to hurriedly shake my head in denial.
"Where are you from?" Kíli pressed me, sidestepping his travel companion, his forehead still creased as he looked at me intently. I practically trembled all over under his piercing gaze and felt embarrassingly close to either burst out in nervous laughter or faint inelegantly on the rug in front of him. Did he know just how much he looked like his uncle when he did the whole drawing up to his full height and scowling thing?
This all started to feel more unreal by the minute and it took all of my self control not to scream and run away. If this was all really happening, and seriously it couldn't, then logic be damned but I knew first impressions could prove to be vital.
"I'm from a place far, far away." OK. Not the best of opening lines but it wasn't an all out lie and at least I hadn't said galaxy. A tense silence followed my vague statement. Obviously the dwarves and the hobbit were expecting a more elaborate answer. But how was I going to phrase this when I didn't have a clue myself as to what the hell just happened?
"And I'm lost." Was all I could come up with, though it was the truth. Ori gasped looking all compassionate and shocked, "Did you lose your clothes too?"
I instantly felt even more exposed now he had pointed this out though I could hardly claim to always go around dressed in nothing but a towel. His keen observation fortunately had a positive side-effect too. His question made Kíli take a step away from me and avert his gaze, dropping his intimidating stance in the process too.
"Uh, yeah. That's right. I lost those too." My gut squirmed at the realization I couldn't even begin to understand what was going on and perhaps even more so at the fact that it just had to be my luck to cross over into Middle Earth naked.
Always the cheery one it seemed Bofur helpfully remarked, "Well, we can solve that problem in a jiffy." He turned around, addressing the other dwarves in a booming voice, "All right lads, anything you can miss, c'mon, out with it!"
There was a moment of utter confusion followed by the usual bustle involved when dwarves came over for a visit it seemed for all five unslung their packs and started to rummage through them, calling out to each other for suggestions and grumbling complaints now and then. Bilbo at first was too flummoxed to move but then, remembering his responsibility as host and not wanting to be outdone by the dwarves, he scurried off only to return what seemed ten seconds later with a frilly dress, stockings and bonnet that smelled strongly of mothballs.
"There you are, Miss Robin, I hope they're a good size, belonged to my mother." The hobbit explained as I hesitantly gathered them in my arms. Something that turned out to be a tricky task as I was trying to keep my towel in place. Elbows clutched against my sides I mumbled my gratitude to him and the dwarves who one by one handed me whatever they had decided I could use from their spare clothing. I was about to make my escape with my bounty when I felt something I really didn't want to lose slip off and my towel landed with a unspectacular flop in a heap around my feet. Had there been awkward silences before, the one that fell now reached a whole new level of awkwardness.
"Tea!" Bilbo practically yelled in a panicky squeak, gesturing for his guests to go through to the kitchen and shepherding them like cattle on the loose. I simply froze, not daring to move and praying the bundle of clothes in front of me covered everything. Nori's smirk that flashed across his face did nothing to assure me of that but then he quickly eyed the ceiling and -both hands covering Ori's eyes- steered him in the right direction (which was away from me). Bofur was obviously straining himself not to grin, the twinkling in his eyes was enough indication of that, and pulled the rim of his hat further down over his eyes as he marched after the others clearing his throat along the way.
"Oh, Mahal.." Oín was pointedly looking sideways and walked like a blind man straight into the hat-stand as he attempted to follow his host, disappearing with the rest around the corner not long after. Kíli was the last to go, though he hovered a moment longer on the same spot before stirring himself into motion. Pretending to be or really being unaffected he casually sauntered passed me, picking up the umbrella that had clattered to the ground when Oín had knocked it off in his unseeing flight. He patiently hung it on a peg, remarking in an even tone although he did not look at me directly, "I suggest you change quickly, Miss Robin, for my companions and I have a reputation of pillaging the pantry faster than a pack of hungry wargs."
I could swear the corner of his mouth quirked but then, his face molding back into an unreadable expression that was in fact uncharacteristically expressionless, he left me on my own in the deserted hallway, wet hair and body dripping steadily on the tiles underfoot.
Abandoning my towel and forcing myself to move I took a few cautious steps sideways unwilling to turn my bare back even though they were all gone. I had almost congratulated myself on my belated yet successful escape from complete humiliation when, from the corner of my eyes, I spotted the large mirror I had been standing half in front of all this time.. Great..
A blush burning on my cheeks I sped up my sidling against the wall with one hand behind my back feeling it for the nearest door then turned the doorknob once I found it and practically fell inside before closing it with a resounding bang.
A/N: Thanks for reading, let me know what you think! :)
