The Tegan Chronicles 1

The New Kid Series 2

Kalma'Kipu

The planet was unimpressive to everyone so far, except to Daniel Jackson who was in awe of the ruins of the once inhabited planet. Despite Colonel O'Neil's grumbling they had entered an ancient temple and somehow ended up in different areas of the cavernous building.

"Wow, check this out." Daniel couldn't contain his excitement, although it was coupled with strains of fear.

"What is it?" Sam called over her shoulder, busy playing with a unique energy source to the planet, especially for one with no inhabitants. Well, at least no inhabitants for quite sometime.

"Maybe my theory about no inhabitants was wrong?" Daniel readjusted his glasses to get a better look.

"Spit it out Daniel." Colonel O'Neill kicked at a stray pebble in the old temple, while grabbing for his weapon, an almost unconscious habit.

"Well, I'm no expert, but this looks like…"

"A viable symbiote." Teal'c finished his statement.

The word symbiote was no sooner out of his mouth, before Tegan was standing between the thin archeologist and the massive Jaffa. Sam looked up to see complete awe written all over the Major's face. Of course looking at Jack's face, his expression was the complete opposite as he stepped into the room housing a large tank.

"Don't!" Colonel O'Neill ordered before the newest addition to SG1 did anything as stupid as sticking her hand in the tank. Not that she was heading that way. He just wanted to be sure she wouldn't.

"How could it live this long without a host?" Daniel asked.

"I do not know Daniel Jackson." Teal'c raised an interested eyebrow.

"Actually, Daniel when Osiris was found, it was kept in stasis in a chamber with an electrical current." Tegan recalled her knowledge from the reports she'd read.

"Right, and the symbiote it's self was sedated." Sam pointed to their current specimen. "This one, on the other hand is not."

"No, but there is an electrical current running into the tank." Tegan pointed to a small generator. It was basically a smaller version of the one Sam had been studying moments earlier. "We need to try and get this specimen back to the base."

"Whoa!" Jack's voice fluctuated on the word. "We won't do any such thing."

"I can't very well study it here," Tegan pointed out, on a frustrated sigh.

"Then we will just have to go back and talk to General Hammond, before we transport anything back to SGC."

"I'm not leaving it here to negotiate." Tegan tried not to sound too defiant, and failed rather miserably.

"If I order you back to the SGC, you will go, Major Kiser." Jack stated, surprised she would even suggest not following his orders. She didn't have so much as warning in her record to date, and defying orders would be a black mark. He should know, considering his file was full of them.

"We don't know how healthy it is." She looked from the tank to Jack and back. "I'm not going to leave it here to die while command hems and haws over whether to bring it back or not."

"And I suppose you are going to try and perform CPR on it if it dies in the meantime."

"I do not believe you can revive a Goa'uld symbiote, Colonel." Teal'c stated the obvious as usual.

Sam stifled the chuckle that bubbled into her chest. Some days she was sure Teal'c blatantly ignored the sarcasm in Colonel O'Neil's comments, rather then not noting it.

The next tenth of a second took place in extremely slow motion for the observers, but it was like all things that can't be prevented. Tegan reached forward and lightly placed her fingertips on the out side of the aquarium housing the symbiote. Colonel O'Neill opened his mouth to order them to return to the SCG to confer with General Hammond, in the same instant the symbiote took a lightening flash U turn in the tank. Tegan noticed the movement and stepped back, as the symbiote seemly sprouted wings and flew out of the tank.

Before Jack could utter a word, the room was filled with gurgling sounds as the symbiote penetrated the soft tissue of Tegan's neck. She choked and gagged violently as the symbiote slid effortlessly through the burrow it made. Teal'c, O'Neill and Carter all three pulled their zats, but none of them seemed to remember how to fire them. Sam finally yelled, "Wait! Don't shoot."

Tegan fell to her knees. Her eyes were glowing white, the way only a Goa'uld's can. The only difference was, they were blinking, and changing in intensity the way a dying fluorescent bulb does. Anguished moans rumbled past Tegan's vocal cords, before gurgling through blood and escaping through the hole in her neck.

"Carter?" Jack questioned.

"Something's not right."

"Duh? Kiser is turning into a Goa'uld." Had he not added the duh, Sam would have thought Teal'c was speaking.

"No, sir. If the symbiote were able to bond, her neck would already be healing, if not completely healed."

"Major Carter is correct." Teal'c's eye's never left the straining form of Major Kiser.

"Her eye's are glowing, that's all the affirmation I need." O'Neill raised his zat as the glowing reached it's intensity before flickering twice and completely dying. Before he could shoot, Tegan's upper body collapsed onto the floor.

Sam dropped to her knees beside the fallen woman, ignoring any protests the Colonel might have. "Daniel give me your pen."

"What?" Daniel questioned as Sam pulled out her pocketknife.

"Your pen. Take it apart and hand me the outer barrel."

"Carter?" Jack stepped forward.

"She can't breathe sir, she's going to die if I don't do something." Sam was already making a small x incision below the gapping wound in the younger major's neck.

"Have you ever done this before?" Jack asked, remembering she had never splinted a leg before they landed in Antarctica a few years back.

"No sir." Sam was hoping she remembered the emergency first aid classes correctly, as she took the barrel of Daniel's well-used Bic pen from him.

Colonel O'Neill was directing Teal'c to dial home and have a medical team on standby. Despite the fact he didn't exactly feel comfortable possibly taking a Goa'uld through the gate. As if reading his mind, Teal'c responded. "The symbiote is dead."
"Are you sure?"

"Of this, I am certain, O'Neill."


Janet waited nervously at the foot of the ramp. All she knew was SG1 had left three hours earlier, and they were already returning with a request for a medical team. The combination was never good. As long as it wasn't Sam… her thoughts were interrupted as Daniel and Sam stepped through the gate.

Sam's hands were bloody, but beyond that she didn't look injured. And considering she had walked through the gate on her own accord… Janet's eyes flashed up to see Teal'c and Colonel O'Neill step through right behind Sam. They were carrying Major Kiser in a two-man hold, between them and keeping her unconscious upper body elevated.

The medics helped them place her on a gurney as Sam explained rather briefly what had occurred, including the emergency tracheostomy. Janet didn't have time to worry about her friend lying there, she had to stay professional and get Tegan through this crisis.

Five hours later Janet stepped into the briefing room. SG1 had long since finished the post mission debriefing with General Hammond, but none of them had been able to move from their seats. Sam's hands and uniform still had dried blood on them.

Every eye was on Janet the second she opened the door. "How is she, doctor?"

"She's stable General, thanks to Sam's quick thinking in the field." Janet closed the door, looking extremely pale and emotionally drained. "Teal'c was correct, there is no longer a symbiote present in Major Kiser. Evidently it has already decomposed and has been absorbed by her body. Although I'm not sure why she isn't dead herself."

"The symbiote was unable to bond with her, not that it didn't try." Sam couldn't erase the pain on Tegan's face from her memory.

"It is possible the symbiote was in failing health to begin with." Teal'c offered.

Janet nodded.

"Are we even sure it was a symbiote?" Jack asked, not wanting to sound stupid, but wanting to know for certain.

"The naquada levels in her blood would indicate that it was." Janet confirmed.

"How bad was it doctor?" General Hammond inquired.

"We took her into surgery and repaired what we could of the damage. We had to put in a semi-permanent trach, because of the swelling from the trauma. She also has aspiration pneumonia from inhaling a fair amount of blood. We've got her on IV antibiotics.

"She hasn't regained consciousness. Most likely a combination of the trauma, and anesthesia used during surgery.

"I do expect her to make a full physical recovery. Mentally, I guess we will just have to wait and see."

"Mentally?" Daniel spoke for the first time since she'd arrived.

"We all know what Sam went through after her experience with Jolinar."

"Can I see her?" Sam asked.

Janet shook her head. "Not right now. You need to get cleaned up first."

Janet returned to Tegan's room, they'd put her in observation one to keep a closer eye on her. Not that Janet planned to leave her side anytime soon. She had already made arrangements for Cassie to stay with one of the nurses who worked day shift, she had a daughter Cassie's age and they were close friends.

"Hey," Sam stepped silently into the room, her hair still damp from her shower.

"You should get some rest," Janet admonished.

"I couldn't sleep if my life depended on it right now. How is she?"
"No change." Janet glanced up at the heart monitors, even as she placed two fingers over the pulse point in Tegan's left wrist. It wasn't that she didn't trust the monitors, but she liked the personal touches that went along with medicine. She believed even the simple act of tactilely checking a pulse was more healing for the patient. Besides it made her feel better. "You did a good job Sam. She wouldn't be here if you hadn't put in that airway."

Sam shrugged. "She wanted to bring it back through the gate, wanted to study it."

"I'm not surprised."
"Colonel O'Neill didn't think it was a good idea. She all but told him she wouldn't leave it behind. He was getting ready to order the entire team to come back when all hell broke loose."

Janet nodded.

"I don't know why it couldn't blend with her, but it was hurting her."

Janet could read the pain and fear on Sam's face as she spoke.

"It was healthy Janet. It was swimming around that tank like crazy."

"That doesn't mean there wasn't a defect in the symbiote it's self."

"I know. But…"

"We'll never know for sure." Janet finished. "You need to get some rest, it's getting late."

"So do you." Sam knew sleep would be elusive at best.

"I've got some things to finish up here." Janet made an excuse, knowing full well she wouldn't get much sleep until Tegan was out of the woods.

For the next 36 hrs Janet stayed at Tegan's side, leaving only long enough to grab a shower and a cup of coffee on two occasions. Sam spent almost as much time in the room as Janet, except when Janet said she had to go try to sleep. Teal'c stood sentry in the hall, stepping in on occasion to see if there had been any change in Major Kiser's status. Daniel came in every two to three hours while he wasn't sleeping to check on things. Even the Colonel was at her side for several hours on more than one occasion.

Janet had just managed to get Sam to leave for the night, after having argued with Teal'c on why he needed to do his kelno'reem. She was finally alone again, with only Tegan's quiet breathing and the beeping of monitors to keep her company. She flipped Tegan's chart shut and hung it on the foot of the bed. After straightening the sheets on the bed, her fingers gently found the pulse point on her patient's left wrist. They had only been there a few seconds when Janet felt Tegan abruptly pull her wrist away. She looked up to see pale green eyes staring at her. "Don't try to talk, you've got a temporary trach in."

Then I hope you know sign language. Tegan quickly signed.

"I do." Janet gave her a small reassuring smile.

Good. Tegan looked around her. How'd I get here?
"SG1 brought you back. Sam had to put in an emergency trach in the field."

She did good. I'm still alive.

"Do you remember what happened?"

A little too vividly. Tegan's signs were slowing slightly.

"How are you feeling?"
Fine.

"Some how I doubt that."

All things are relative. Tegan turned her head to the doorway several seconds before Major Carter stepped through.

"Sorry, I couldn't sleep." Sam looked at Tegan. "You're awake."

Tegan nodded, a puzzled look evident on her face.

"It's the naquada in your body. Basically means, Teal'c, Cassie and I can't sneak up on you."

Tegan nodded again, this time fighting back the pain that shot through her neck.

"You'll get use to it." Sam reassured.

Tegan closed her eyes frustrated over the language barrier. Even more so, she was angry over what had happened, despite the fact she was covering it well.

"You need to get some rest." Janet offered.

How long was I out? Tegan watched Sam realizing she didn't know sign language.

"Just over forty hours."

Then I don't need to rest.

Janet wasn't sure whether the comment was sarcastic or not. "You're body has been through a significant amount of trauma."

You don't need to tell me that, Doctor. The title was one Tegan had recently dropped when talking to Janet. I went to medical school just like you did.

"And graduated at the top of your class, I'm well aware of that fact. But I am your doctor."

Sam stood there confused at the one sided conversation, or at least the side she could understand.

Then maybe you should leave so I can rest.

"I need to do your trach care first." Janet insisted although she had done it two hours ago. Of course Sam knew better than to point this out.

Are you the only one on base who knows sign? Tegan stepped into calmer waters, feeling guilty for having been rude.

"I suppose Daniel may, other then that I'm not sure." Janet turned to Sam. "Do you know if there is anyone else on base who knows sign language?"
Sam shook her head.

Will I be able to sing?

Janet thought for a minute. "I don't know, could you sing before."

Tegan nodded in the affirmative, while reminding her self to keep her head still in the near future.

"Then I think you should still be able to. There was no visual damage done to your vocal cords."

Guess I should be thankful. Tegan reached for the small dry erase board on the bedside table. Janet saw what she was going for and handed it to her. She quickly jotted a note to Sam. ::Thanks for saving my life, I owe you one.::

"I didn't save your life." Sam brushed the comment off as Tegan erased the last statement.

::Wouldn't be here now if you hadn't put in an airway.::

"I didn't do anything you wouldn't have done."

::I don't know about that. :: There was a quiet knock on the door before the Colonel entered.

"I see you made it back to the land of the living, Major."

::Yes sir.::

"How long before you remove that tube and she can talk doc?" O'Neill glanced at Fraiser.

"Maybe by the end of the week."

What day is it? Tegan signed to Janet.

"Now that's just not fair." Jack whined.

"I don't understand it either." Sam agreed with her superior.

"It's Monday."

"0200." Jack piped up.

"Which means you two should be in bed," Janet sighed.

Teal'c

"I sent him to get some rest, he was standing sentry outside you're door."

No, I think he is back.

Janet raised an eyebrow and walked to the door. Sure enough, when she opened it there stood Teal'c. "You can come in for five minutes Teal'c and then you all are to go to bed. I think I am going to have to enforce visiting hours around here."

"I am not yet visiting Doctor Fraiser."

"You know what I mean Teal'c."

"Indeed." He raised his eyebrows in such a way it almost looked like a smirk on his face, before stepping into the room. "Major Kiser, it is good to see you awake."

::Thank you::

When Daniel stepped in, Janet told him he could only say hi before she ushered the walking and talking SG1 members out of the room. Tegan was already asleep when Janet returned. Or at least she appeared to be sleeping. Janet wasn't entirely convinced as she noticed the tension in the younger woman's face.

Monday evening, Janet finally retired to her quarters on base and slept through the night. Feeling better knowing that for now, Tegan was out of the woods. When she returned to the infirmary to check in with her staff before checking on Major Kiser the next morning she found a slightly flustered Nurse Copley slamming stuff around.

"Airman, what's the problem?" Janet addressed her formally to let her know she didn't approve of her behavior.

"Major Kiser is trying to pull rank in her care." Julie bit back on a growl.

"How so?"

"She insisted that I draw her blood so she could check it out under the scope. I told her she wasn't supposed to be out of bed yet, and she told me if I didn't do what she told me to do, she'd write me up for insubordination."

Janet knew Tegan was strong willed, but doubted she would follow through on the threat. "So what'd you do?"
"I told her I would give her the insubordination form myself." Julie smiled.

"I'll talk to her." Janet returned the smile, before heading down the hall to find out what other problems she was causing.

When Janet opened the door she found Tegan with a tourniquet around her upper left arm and a needle in her ante cubical vein. Janet saw her dilemma and decided to stand back and see what she would do, rather then offer to help. She could either leave the needle hanging uncomfortably from her arm to remove the tourniquet or she could pull the needle out first and end up with a big nasty bruise. She decided to go with the later.

Janet waited until she had pulled the needle out of her arm before she spoke. "What do you think you're doing?"
Tegan looked up and wrinkled her brow. She pulled the tourniquet off before signing, getting a blood sample.

"Airman Copley told you that you needed to stay in bed."
I didn't get out of bed.

"So the lab supplies just walked over to your bed." Janet asked incredulously.

No. Tegan would have huffed if she could have.

"That's what I thought." Janet picked up the vial of blood and tossed it in the sharps disposal along with the needle Tegan had used.

What are you doing? Tegan fiercely stared at the shorter woman.

"By the time you are able to go to the lab that blood won't be any good."

Fine. Tegan made a face, not unlike a disgruntled teenager.

Janet checked her vitals and double-checked the dressing around the trach to make sure it had been changed correctly before returning to her office.

Tegan waited until she was pretty sure Janet wasn't coming back. She got up and found a curved Kelly clamp, which she used to fish the vial of blood back out of the sharps guard. Her neck was hurting with the exertion required to complete the tedious task.

Janet looked down at her watch as Sam came into the office. She'd been working on paperwork for just over an hour.

"Where's Tegan?"
"Should be in bed." Janet looked up at the confused look on the blonde's face.

"She's not."

"Damn it," Janet threw her pen on the desk. "If she's in the lab, I going to…"

Sam was glad Janet didn't finish the statement, as the much shorter woman stormed past. She decided to follow at a safe distance in case she needed to step in and save Tegan's life and Janet's career.

"Major!" Janet bellowed as she threw the door open to the research lab Tegan claimed as her second home.

Tegan looked up from the microscope she'd been peering in. She was just about to call it quits when the interruption came.

Before Janet could ask her what she thought she was doing, she turned several shades of pale. Finally settling on gray pasty shade, she wavered slightly on her feet. Janet and Sam both saw her body start to plummet toward the floor and rushed to her side. Janet just managed to grab the taller woman with enough strength to slow her momentum before she hit the ground.

She felt for a pulse, and found it a little rapid, but definitely strong. Sam was already on the phone calling for medics to report to the research lab.

Janet was concerned when Tegan didn't come to immediately, but felt it was in part do to her exhaustion. When she did come to twenty minutes later she was in a bed in the infirmary, and General Hammond was standing there having just finished getting the run down from Janet.

"How are you feeling?" Janet asked when she noticed the Major's green gaze.

Better.

"That's good."

"Major, lucky for you Dr. Fraiser isn't willing to file a complaint on your blatant disregard of her orders. But I want you to know that what she says goes until you are discharged from her care. Any further discount of her orders until that time will be treated as if you defied an order that came directly from me. Is that understood?"
Tegan gave a slight nod of her head, knowing that anything more would hurt too much. Nothing she could sign or write would make a difference anyway.

"Good." General Hammond turned to Janet. "If she gives you any more trouble I want to know about it."

"Yes sir." When the General left the room Janet turned back to her patient. "You kind of screwed yourself there. I wouldn't have gone to him. But when he heard there was a medical emergency in the research lab he came to check things out. I didn't tell him about your treatment of Airman Copley, but be advised she may."
Thank you, Janet.

"Whatever." Janet turned to check the reading on the heart monitor when warm fingers wrapped gently around her wrist. She turned back to face Tegan, who let go.

I'm sorry. Tegan signed. And I didn't think you 'told' on me.

Janet couldn't help but return the smile Tegan offered. Even though it wasn't her big ice-melting smile, it was still contagious.

Janet spent the majority of the rest of the week on base, going home in the evenings to be with Cassie. She spent most of her time in the mountain compound in an area where she could keep an eye on Major Kiser, even after they moved her back into the main infirmary so she couldn't sneak out on them.

Sam spent several hours a day entertaining her and occasionally getting beaten at chess. Not that Tegan used any mathematic equations to play the game. Sam told her she was just lucky. When no one was in the infirmary Tegan wrote her thoughts in a journal, and even wrote what she could remember and was willing to share with SG1 in a letter to Sam, regarding her experience with the symbiote.

Sam,

I know you are dying to know, as I am sure are the rest of SG1, Gen. Hammond and Janet. So I will tell you of my personal experience with the symbiote here, so I don't have to tell the masses once I am able to speak again.

I remember the conversations prior to the symbiote jumping from the tank. I had leaned forward and touched the tank, at which time I felt something akin to a static charge. Which was strange considering I was touching glass. Of course I didn't have time to process that thought before I saw the symbiote advancing through the air, and felt the tearing of flesh in my throat. It actually wasn't as painful as what was going on inside my body. I could hear a deep voice yelling at me that I was killing it, which leads me to believe that all theories of the symbiote being in some way damaged are moot.

It felt like an electrical shock was being sent through my brain, and I did not think I would survive the ordeal. I guess, had I been allowed to stay behind, I would not have. For that I thank you. In the midst of the discomfort I was experiencing, it was like several lifetimes flashed before my eyes. It was a like being in a movie theater, with no chance of escape. Only the visions were far too real and horrific to be shown in any horror film, regardless of the rating. It is something I would just as soon forget, as I am sure you are already aware of from your own experiences. Please feel free to share anything you see of value here with our aforementioned colleagues.

Tegan

Friday morning Sam shared the entire letter in a meeting with the General, SG1 and Janet, feeling they needed to know what the Major had gone through. Although she and Janet imagined it was much worse than Tegan would ever let on. Even the rest of SG1 had their own musings on the subject, having witnessed the event. In the same meeting Janet announced that the trach would removed that afternoon, and assuming there were no complications Major Kiser could be discharged into the care of someone else on Monday. Once that happened she and SG1 were given a weeks mandatory leave, during which time General Hammond made it clear they were not to be seen anywhere on base.

Janet stayed behind once they were dismissed from the meeting to talk with the General about her concerns. She expressed that although she couldn't be certain, she doubted Major Kiser was sleeping at all. General Hammond assured her that a full psyche evaluation was to be completed before he would allow her to return to active duty.

That afternoon Janet removed the trach and covered the wound so it could close on it's own.

"That's better." Tegan's voice cracked and was rough. She tried to cover the extreme discomfort in her throat that accompanied talking, but Janet caught the slight wince.

"It's going to take a while for your voice to get back to one hundred percent. And I suspect it will be a while before you can talk with out a good deal of discomfort, just like the discomfort you have with swallowing."

Tegan nodded.


Monday morning rolled around and Tegan decided to try her magic on Dr. Warner. Janet had left specific instructions that she not be discharged unless it was into the care of some one. Tegan explained to Warner that she had a medical degree and was capable of taking care of her self. She didn't even have to beg. His only contingency was that one of the airmen drive her home.

She was only home two hours when the phone rang. She decided to play it safe and let the machine pick it up. She didn't feel like talking to anyone, she just wanted to be alone. She hadn't been sleeping and she hadn't had any real time to herself to deal with what happened. Of course if she knew Janet, she wouldn't get much alone time. Thinking of Janet… the answering machine picked up. "It's Tegan, I can't make it to the phone. Leave a message."

Beep!

"Major its Janet, pick up." Janet paused. "I know Airman Peters drove you home. Now pick up. I'm pulling in your drive way."

Tegan went upstairs to hide in her bedroom, despite how inanely childish she knew it was. She hoped if she didn't answer the door Janet would just go away. Of course she should have known she'd have no such luck. After twenty minutes of near incessant pounding and three phone calls, Tegan looked up to see both Sam and Janet standing in the doorway. She didn't have to think twice to know Janet had called Sam over to pick the lock. Of course she mentally kicked her self for not throwing the chain. Not that it would have stopped them. "I don't care who you are, coming into my home without a warrant is against the law."

"You disobeyed my orders." Janet's hands were on her hips, and her nostrils flared as she tried to keep her anger in check. She'd already chewed Warner up one side and down the other, which left her with little satisfaction.

"You weren't there, and Warner released me."

"You knew darn well you were supposed to be released in to someone's care. Both Sam and I offered to let you stay with one of us."

"I didn't want to inconvenience either of you."

"The inconvenience is me standing here right now, after trying to get you to answer the phone or the door for half an hour, not knowing if you were still alive, conscious or what."

"It was twenty minutes." Tegan threw out dryly, hazarding a glance to the quiet Major Carter.

"All you had to do was bat those pretty green eyes at Warner and he let you walk right over him."

"I didn't have to bat my eyes." Tegan shot back, the effort to contain her voice causing her entirely too much pain. "I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself, and my medical knowledge got him to let me go."

"Ok Doctor Kiser, what would you do if the roles were reversed? Or if Sam were in your position and you were in mine?"

Tegan folded her arms across her chest. She hated it when Janet asked those stupid questions, because she already knew what the answer would be. Not to mention the smug look that flashed in those brown eyes.

"You've got two choices. You can pack a bag and go home with me, or I can call for an MP to escort you back to base, and I will lodge a formal complaint with General Hammond."

"Devil's advocate," Tegan mumbled. She was beginning to think Jack's nickname hit the nail on the head: Napoleonic power monger.

"What'll it be Major?"

"What's one black mark on my record?" She shrugged, but before Janet could move to call she continued. "I'll go home with you."

"Don't sound so excited."

"Oh trust me…" Tegan couldn't finish the statement as fire tore through her neck.

"When's the last time you took something for pain?" Janet's demeanor changed quicker than a flash of lightening.

On base. Tegan supplemented her speech. But I don't need anything.

"I can't make you take anything, but I think you should."

Tegan shook her head.

"What can I pack for you?" Sam offered, finally breaking her self-imposed silence.

"Anything you want." Tegan leaned her head back against her headboard and closed her eyes.


The first two nights Janet came in every couple hours to check on Tegan. She kept the bedside lamp on all night, if Janet hadn't known better she would have thought Tegan was afraid of the dark. Of course it was because she wasn't sleeping, and Janet suspected she didn't want to sleep and was using the light to stay awake.

Around ten o'clock on the second morning there was a knock on the guest room door, where Tegan had basically secluded herself since her arrival. She would leave only long enough to take care of her most basic needs. "Yes?"
"It's Sam," Major Carter's voice was muffed through the door.

"Come in," Tegan sighed.

Sam opened the door a crack. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm good," Tegan reasoned in her head that if all things were comparable, she was good compared to death. "A little bored."

"Mad at Janet?"

"Not nearly as mad as she is at me." Tegan's hand drifted up to the gauze covering her throat.

"She's not really that mad at you," Sam confided. "She's upset you didn't follow her instructions, and she's mad at Warner. But, she understands you wanting to sleep in your own bed, and have some alone time. I do agree that isn't the smartest thing for you right now, if not for the same reasons she does."

"You think I'm not mentally stable?" Tegan let her hand drop back to her lap.

"I know what I went through with Jolinar. I know how it still bothers me. So I'm not going to lie to you and tell you it's going to just go away."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"The dreams, the memories that aren't yours."

"I can differentiate between my memories and its."

"That may be true, but it doesn't make it any easier to deal with."

"I'm dealing just fine."

"I don't think you are," Sam countered. "Sure you didn't shut down like I did. But you're not the same person you were before we stepped onto P4C-278."

"Each jump changes us a little bit. Every experience we have shapes who we are."

"You haven't changed just a little bit, and you know it."

"Sam, I don't want to have this discussion." Her voice wavered with warning and pain.

"You need to talk about it."

"I need to rest."

Sam nodded, "You're not sleeping at night."

"It's hard to sleep with Janet popping in every couple hours."

"You can always stay at my place," Sam offered. "I'd let you have your space."

"The only place I want to go is home," Tegan stared out the window. "Could you do me a favor?"

"What's that?"

"Get Janet to drop you off on base and pick up my bike. We can throw a tarp over it or something. I'd just feel better knowing it's here, and not on base parking when I'm not there."

Sam jumped at the opportunity to drive the custom built Ducati.

When Janet said she didn't want to leave Tegan alone, Sam called Daniel to take her to base. When she got back she parked the cycle in Janet's garage raving about how smooth it rode. Tegan put her helmet on the desk in the corner and tossed her keys in her duffle.

While Sam had been gone Janet had removed the dressing and sutures from Tegan's neck. What remained were several jagged and red angry scars. "Beautiful huh?"

"They don't look too bad." Sam offered.

"Yeah, if you're blind." Tegan growled softly.

Sam thought it was strange, she didn't think Tegan was the slightest bit concerned about her appearance. Not that she didn't dress in the latest fashions when she was in civilian clothing, but Sam just hadn't thought Tegan had a vain bone in her body. "They'll fade over time."

"When did you go to med school?" Tegan bit back.

"Why don't we talk about what's really bothering you?"

"I'm home!" Cassie announced as she came in the front door. "Sam are you upstairs?"
"I'm in Tegan's room." Sam managed to answer a few seconds before the young girl bounded in throwing her arms around the blonde.

Cassie pulled away and looked at Tegan, completely oblivious to the scars. "How are you feeling?"

"Great."

"You're a bad liar," Cassie stated bluntly.

"Really?" Tegan challenged lightly.

"You may have everyone, including Janet snowed, but you can't fool me."

Tegan shrugged as Sam looked oddly between the two.

"I guess I should get my homework done before 'mom' has a stroke." Cassie dropped back into the role of a normal teenager with ease.

"Need any help?" Sam offered.

"No Sam, I'm not taking calculus yet." Cassie grinned. "Besides, I've got a paper to write for English. I don't think you could help me much there."

"No, but Tegan minored in English." Sam pointed out.

"You did?" Cassie raised her eyebrows, knowing Tegan was a medical doctor like her mom.

"Four majors, two minors." Tegan blushed lightly. "I'd be glad to help if I can."

"How about I let you proof me?" Cassie was hopeful.

"How about you stop thinking you can call my bluffs that don't exist, in return?"

Cassie looked at her for a moment, and shrugged. "If you want the world thinking you're just fine it's no skin off my nose."

Tegan gave a slight nod before the teenager bounced off down the hall.

Janet had caught the last part of the conversation before stepping into the room. "What was that all about?"

"Tegan's going to help Cassie by proofing her English paper, if Cassie will stop playing mind reader."

"She is pretty good at that." She raised an eyebrow knowing the girl was more intuitive than most adults Janet knew. Of course she and Sam were already well aware that things were not as good as Tegan would have them believe. "Are you staying for dinner?"

"If I'm invited," Sam smiled.

"Standing invitation, and you know it." Janet looked over to Tegan. "Are you going to join us in the dinning room tonight?"

Tegan surprised her by nodding. Her throat was sore from talking.

"Are you actually going to eat?"
"I'll try." And she did. She managed to eat two helpings of mashed potatoes, leaving everything else clear of her plate not wanting to tempt fate and cause her throat to hurt any more than it already did.

Janet was concerned with the fact Tegan's throat wasn't healing quite to her satisfaction. She would have thought by now most of the discomfort would be gone. She had to remind her self that a Goa'uld symbiote did tear through muscle and soft tissue to gain access to her body.

Tegan turned in around eight and when Sam checked on her before she left, she thought she might actually be asleep. At twelve Janet peeked in on her and from her breathing pattern was fairly certain the young redhead was finally getting some much, needed rest. Janet could swear she'd just fallen asleep when a piercing scream tore through the house. In reality she'd been sleeping for two hours. She ran into the hall, and was relieved to find Cassie was also in the hall, which meant it hadn't been the young girl who'd screamed.

There was almost an eerie silence in the hallway before a second louder scream ripped into the stillness. Janet told Cassie to go back to bed, before going into the guest room. The light from a full moon filtered through the window illuminating a pale Tegan lying in a tangle of sheets, sweat pouring off her forehead as she struggled with unseen forces. Janet placed a firm hand on her shoulder, shaking gently. "Wake up Tegan you're dreaming."

When she didn't respond and continued to struggle, Janet shook her harder. "Major Kiser, wake up!"

That seemed to do the trick, and Tegan's eyelids flew open.

"You were having a bad dream."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you." Tegan offered an apology.

"Don't worry about it." Janet smoothed her wet bangs off her forehead. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"No." Tegan shook her head. She tried to hide her fear, but Janet could sense it in the shifting green pools of her eyes.

"Are you sure?" Janet reached for the bedside lamp and flipped it on.

"Yeah."

"Would you talk to Sam about it?" Janet questioned lightly.

"No, I'm sure Sam has enough demons to deal with."

"Memories from the symbiote?"

"Its name was Kalma'Kipu," Tegan responded. "Even though I've read the reports, it's hard to believe that something so evil can exist."

Janet nodded. She'd seen enough to know that it did exist.

"Not that I want to access the memories, they are so horrific. But… I can't consciously bring them up. They come in flashes when I least expect it, and haunt my dreams."

"That's what Sam said about Jolinar. She'll have feelings or memories that she knows aren't hers."

"This is why I didn't want to stay here." Tegan confessed. "You and Cassie don't need to deal with my nightmares."

"So you haven't slept since…?"

Tegan shrugged. "It all depends on if you call the periods of unconsciousness sleep?"

Janet nodded her understanding, watching as Tegan pulled her knees up to her chest and rested her forehead on them. "I don't want this on my medical record."

Janet sat quietly for a minute. "Technically you're off, so if we can get these nightmares under control before you come in for your physical to return to active duty, I will keep it off the record."

"You can't do that." Tegan sighed, not lifting her head.

"I can, and I will." Janet reassured. "Cassie can stay with Sam for the rest of the week, and over the weekend, she'll think its Christmas time again."

"I can't ask you to disrupt your family."

"You're not asking me to do anything, and if I have to I'll make sure you accept my help."
"By blackmailing me?" Tegan looked up.

"I like to think of it as using my leverage," Janet smiled wryly.

"I guess I really don't have a choice." Tegan pushed herself off the bed, and pulled her wet t-shirt away from her body. "I'm going to grab a shower, it'll be a while before I sleep again."

"Actually, I'd like to give you a sedative to help you sleep. I think if you can get some quality rest it may help you deal with this better in the long run. Not to mention help your body to heal."

Tegan shook her head. She knew the sedative would only make it so she couldn't wake up from the ghastly scenes that plagued her sleep. "Let's not and say we did."

Janet watched as she grabbed a clean pair of black cotton shorts and a gray t-shirt with a blue Air Force insignia on the front. Once she had closed the bathroom door, Janet stripped the damp sheets from the bed and put clean ones on it. She then took the old sheets down and put them in the washer, before checking in on Cassie who had easily fallen back asleep.

Tegan dried off and ran the towel through her hair, leaving it still slightly damp and standing on end before returning to the bedroom. Janet was sitting on the foot of the freshly made bed. She pointed to a mug on the nightstand. "I made you some chamomile tea. My mom used to give it to me, to help me sleep. The warmth might help soothe your throat as well."

"My throat's fine," Tegan insisted.

"And that's why all you ate tonight were mashed potatoes." Janet shook her head. "You know, admitting you're in pain doesn't make you weak."

"I know." Tegan picked up the mug and cradled it in her hands, inhaling the steam. She took a sip and nodded towards the bed. "You didn't need to change it, but thank you."

"Not a problem." Janet smiled at the sincere thanks in her tone. "Can I do anything else for you?"

"Yeah, tell me how I can repay you for all you are doing."

"We're friends Tegan, you don't need to repay me."

"Friends," Tegan mumbled unconsciously as she turned the word over in her head. It seemed she had so few of those in her life at any given time. The few people she had allowed herself to call friends over the years had to earn their way into her small circle of trust. It was no small task, and most people gave up on trying to be the 'nerdy girl's' friend long before she decided they were worth letting in. Somehow Tegan realized Janet and Sam were standing there peering through the holes in her wall as they slowly tore it down, one brick at a time. The surprising part was how natural it felt for them to be so close to her, even if she hadn't completely let them inside.

"Yeah, it's what friends do they help each other." Janet broke into her musings. "Try and get some rest?"

"Thanks Janet." Tegan nodded, letting Janet know she would at least try. She climbed under the crisp white linen, the smell of Tide rising to her senses.

Janet watched from the door way as Tegan put the mug on the nightstand and flipped the light back off. In the moonlight she could see the younger woman close her eyes and pain immediately crease her features before her eyes flew back open. "Do you want me to stay?"
"No." Tegan hoped her voice sounded more convincing to Janet than it did to her.

"If you need me, you know where to find me." Janet didn't want to leave Tegan alone, thinking she reminded her of a frightened child. At the same time she didn't want to push her luck and cause Tegan to throw up her steel reinforced walls in light of her recent progress.

Neither woman slept for the remainder of the night. Janet waited for any indication Tegan needed her presence. While Tegan was afraid to return to a world she had no control over. When Janet's alarm went off she went through her morning ritual of dragging Cassie out of bed and getting her off to school. Like most teenagers, she was not a morning person.

Tegan joined them in the kitchen while Cassie inhaled a bowl of Fruit Loops. She apologized for waking Cassie in the middle of the night.

"Must've been some dream?"

"Actually, I thought I saw a spider on the ceiling." Tegan laughed lightly.

"Something tells me a little eight legged arthropod wouldn't scare you." Cassie raised an accusing eyebrow. A habit she'd picked up from Janet. Although she had to practice a little more before she'd be as intimidating with it.

Tegan was nice, and gave into the look. "You're right, it was a bad dream."

"What was it about?"

"Frankenstein," Tegan winked.

"You're not going to tell me are you?" Cassie pouted playfully.

"No, it's not something I think I'll be telling anyone about." Tegan mused quietly.

Janet watched as the protective barrier slid back into place. It was much quieter, and more efficient in it's movement than the iris protecting the SGC from incoming worm holes. While she was busy analyzing Tegan's walls, Cassie slipped out of the room. She reappeared with a well-worn teddy bear several minutes later and burning red cheeks. "Here, this will help."

Tegan took the stuffed animal that was being thrust into her chest from trembling fingers. "I can't accept this."

"I'm not giving it to you," Cassie clarified. "It's a loan. Sam gave it to me when I first came here, and it does help chase away the bad dreams."

"Thank you." Tegan bowed her head slightly, wishing she could have child-like faith in magic.

"You'd better get going Cass, or you're going to miss the bus." Janet looked at her watch, hating to break the touching moment, but not wanting to leave Tegan alone even long enough to run the teenager to school.

Cassie grabbed her lunch off the counter and waved over her shoulder as she ran toward the front of the house. Janet smiled after her.

"She's a good kid," Tegan looked at the worn nose on the dark brown bear.

"Yeah, when she's not acting like a teenager." Janet smiled, loving every minute the girl had been a part of her life.

"I'm going to go read or something." Tegan pulled back into her shell.

Janet picked up the phone after Tegan had retired to the guest room. She knew Sam would already be awake, and hoped to catch her before she started reworking the engine on her Indian. Of course she had, but was thoughtful enough to take the cordless into the garage with her. She said she would love to help out and let Cassie spend the remainder of the week with her. In fact if Janet didn't know better she would think Sam was happier than Cassie would be when she found out.

They talked about some other things for about an hour. When Janet hung up she heard a muffled scream from upstairs. She took the steps as quickly as her little legs would carry her, and stopped short in the doorway of the guest room. Tegan was lying on top of the covers with her back to the door. She was curled into a fetal position and Cassie's 'Sam Bear,' as the youngster so lovingly dubbed it, was hugged between her legs and chest. The head poked out giving Tegan the appearance of having two heads. Janet watched as fine tremors slid over the well-defined muscles of Tegan's back. Her gray t-shirt pulled tautly over her frame from the way she was wrapped around her legs.

Janet approached the tremulous form and sat gently on the edge of the bed. "Tegan?"

The younger woman made no attempt to acknowledge the doctor. Janet reached out a placed a steady hand over Tegan's shoulder blade. The muscles became even more rigid; despite the fact Janet thought it wasn't possible. Janet rubbed a small circle with her hand, as she felt the slightest release of tension. Her own mother had done the same to her when she was afraid of the monster living under the bed. Of course to a little child, a mother's touch was magic. To a grown woman, it wouldn't matter if Janet was a mother, a doctor, a friend, or a lover. There was nothing magical about her touch, and she was afraid it was more comforting to her than it was to her patient and friend.

Janet noticed the tremors had stopped and Tegan's body had relaxed considerably. She moved her hand away and started to reposition her numb legs and aching back when green eyes opened in fear. Janet saw Tegan pulling into a tight ball again, trying to make herself even smaller. "It's ok."

With a great deal of control, Tegan forced her body to straighten out to its full length. Her muscles opposed the change in position. She looked at her watch and realized she'd slept for almost three hours. No wonder Janet had moved, she was probably stiff herself.

"Are you hungry?"

Tegan shook her head.

"It's lunch time, you need to eat something."

"Did I ever tell you I hate doctors?"

"No. Is that why you became one?" Janet stood up and stretched.

"One of the reasons."

"How's grilled cheese and chicken noodle soup sound?"

"Don't go through any trouble."

"The chicken noodle is left over from the other night, when you didn't eat it. And it's no trouble."

"You're almost as hard headed as I am." Tegan looked oddly at the teddy bear still clutched in her grasp.

"Never," Janet smiled. "Now are you going to eat?"
"Yeah," Tegan stood up and followed Janet down stairs. She tossed the Sam bear haphazardly on the couch.

They sat at the kitchen table and ate in silence. Tegan managed to eat half a grilled cheese sandwich before her throat protested too much. She enjoyed the warmth of the homemade chicken noodle soup almost as much as she did Janet's culinary skills. "If that won't cure me, nothing well."

Janet frowned.

"It was a compliment." Tegan assured.

"Good, cause I was thinking of how bad some medications can taste." Janet cleaned up the dishes and sent Tegan into the living room.

She was lying on the couch with the overly loved bear cuddled to her chest, her eye lids already falling with the leaded weights attached to them. "Janet?"

"Yes?" Janet wasn't sure if she'd really heard her whispered name or not, when she entered the living room.

"Will you stay in here, with me?" Tegan's eyelids won the war over her brain.

"Sure."

"Thanks." She mumbled snuggling closer to the bear.

When Cassie came bounding through the front door, Janet held a single finger to her lips. Cassie looked from her mother to the sleeping figure on the couch, a huge grin pulling at her lips as she saw her Sam bear.

"You need to pack." Janet whispered.

"Pack?"

"You're staying at Sam's for the rest of the week."

Cassie squealed, forgetting the guest sleeping on the couch. Tegan opened one eye and looked from Cassie to Janet, smiled lightly and let sleep, take her back in its grips.

"Sorry." Cassie apologized to Janet before bounding happily upstairs to pack.

She didn't come out of her room until three hours later, when she found Sam sitting in the overstuffed chair Janet had vacated. "Are we staying for dinner?"

Sam nodded, pointing to Tegan.

Cassie frowned hoping she and Sam could order out tonight.

"I'm not asleep." Tegan mumbled opening her eyes. She'd woken up seconds before Sam came in, having felt her presence in the neighborhood.

"Good, 'cause we were starting to think we were going to have to bury you with my bear." Cassie joked.

"Very funny kid," Tegan shot back, tossing the bear to Sam. "She's gonna need that if she's staying with you."

"You can keep it while I'm gone," Cassie offered. "You need it more then I do."

"I appreciate the offer. But I can't have you not sleeping because I've got your bear."

"I don't need it to sleep." Cassie wasn't a very good liar, and everyone in the room knew it.

"I'll make you a deal." Tegan glanced at Sam. "You sleep with it tonight, and if I can't sleep, I'll let you know tomorrow that I need it back."

Cassie made a face, as Tegan pushed off the couch and went to see if she could help Janet in the kitchen.

"Actually dinner is almost ready." Janet declined any help. "How are you feeling?"
"Better. Thanks."

"I didn't do anything."

"You stayed in the living room until Sam came over."

Janet wondered briefly how she knew she hadn't left. "You weren't asleep?"
"I was, until naquada central came in." Tegan joked as Sam walked in.

"I think we've got the same levels present in our blood." Sam retaliated.

Tegan shrugged. "I wouldn't know; someone won't let me into my lab on base to get any research done."

"Dinner's ready." Janet ignored the comment directed at her, as she put the broccoli casserole on the table.


At ten o'clock the front door opened. "It's just us."

"Sam?"

"Yeah," Sam stepped into the living room with Cassie in tow.

"What's wrong?" Janet stood up.

"Nothing, Cass wanted to drop something by." Sam moved to the side.

"It's a school night, and past her bedtime."

"It's one night, Janet." Sam's blue eyes twinkled as Janet gave in.

Tegan was pretending to be caught up in the medical text she was reading, not wanting to get into the middle of an argument over Cassie's up bringing.

"Tegan?"

"Yeah Cass?" Tegan looked up, noticing the teenager was hiding something behind her back.

"You were right, I do still sleep with my Sam bear." She admitted shyly. "So, I got you this."

Tears formed in Tegan's eyes as the girl pulled a foot and a half long stuffed frog out from behind her back. He was dark green with neon green eyes, and light green pads on his bead stuffed feet. His lower jaw and chin matched the pads on his feet. The material was a soft chenille. His head was stuffed to keep its shape, leaving his trunk and limbs only lightly stuffed and floppy. Tegan took the proffered gift. "He's cute. But why a frog?"

"Cause you don't look like a teddy bear person." Cassie smiled. "Besides, he's got your eyes."

Without thinking Tegan pulled Cassie into a one armed hug, and whispered in her ear. "Thanks kid. Now maybe we can both sleep tonight."

Cassie pulled away when Tegan's arm dropped, a smile plastered on her face, "Our secret."

Tegan nodded. "You'd better let Sam get you to bed, before you're mom grounds both of you."

Cassie hugged Janet and gave her a quick peck on the cheek before she and Sam slipped back out into the night.

At midnight Janet closed the book she'd been reading and looked over at the couch. Tegan had fallen asleep with the frog under one arm, the boring text on autoimmune blood markers lying across her chest where it had fallen when she'd drifted off. Janet put a place marker between the pages before closing the book and placing it on the coffee table. She then pulled an Afghan off the back of the couch, and settled it over the sleeping shape.

Janet was surprised when she awoke the next morning to the sun filtering through her blinds. She looked at the clock. It was after ten. She stumbled out of bed and into the shower, thinking she smelled the aroma of coffee drifting up the stairs.

When she stepped into the kitchen she found a full pot of hot coffee sitting in the coffee maker. She walked into the living room to find any traces of Tegan's night spent there gone. She was about to check the guest bedroom when she spotted someone moving around in the back yard.

"How'd you sleep?"

Tegan jumped. She was too buried in thought to hear the sliding glass door open. "I actually slept."

"That's good." Janet noticed a glass of grape juice in her hand. "The coffee?"

"I woke up at nine, figured you'd be up soon."

"Thanks, but you didn't have to."

"I wanted to." Tegan smiled. "So when do I get to go home doc?"
"One night of sleeping through the night doesn't convince me you are better."

Tegan nodded.


"Well?" General Hammond asked as Janet entered his office the following Tuesday.

"I don't see any reason why Major Kiser can't return to full active duty immediately." Janet couldn't believe she heard herself saying this, but after Cassie had given Tegan the stuffed frog she'd stopped having the nightmares. At least she'd stopped screaming until she woke up everyone in the house. With the added sleep, her body was able to recover a great deal from the physical trauma she had endured. Janet was sure she was still having some discomfort, but since she denied it, there wasn't much she could do about it.

"She passed her psyche evaluation with flying colors yesterday." General Hammond pointed out. "I'll let her start back tomorrow. Thank you Doctor."

"You wanted to see me?" Major Kiser stepped into his office almost immediately after Janet left.

"Yes, as of 0800 tomorrow morning you are cleared for active duty. SG1 is meeting in the debriefing room at 1400 tomorrow to discuss an upcoming mission. I expect you to be there."

"Yes sir."

"You're dismissed Major."

"Thank you, sir." Tegan disappeared into her lab for the remainder of the day.

Janet called Tegan's home number before she left the infirmary. There was no answer, so she ventured down to the research lab. A light soprano voice floated out of the cracked doorway as Janet slipped her head in. "Someone must be feeling better."

Tegan flushed crimson, and stopped mid-note. She kept her head buried in the microscope. She irrationally hoped that if she couldn't see Janet, Janet couldn't see her.

"You don't have to stop singing on my account." Janet added as she completely entered the lab. "You do have to stop working though. You're not released to return until tomorrow."

Tegan finally pulled away. "It's not work related."

"If it's your blood on that slide, it is. Come on, I'll ride up to ground level with you."

"I think I'm just going to stay on base tonight." Tegan looked at the clock. "I hear the mess is serving hamburgers."

Janet frowned. "You can stay on base, but you are not to come back in your lab."

"And you'll notify security of my orders, just to be sure I follow them." Tegan rolled her eyes, cutting the light on the microscope off. "Sam's staying over night too, I'm sure she'll check up on me for you."

"Tegan…"

"Look Janet, I know you're looking out for my best interests. But what difference is twelve hours going to make?"

"Just promise me you will stay away from here and rest tonight?"

"Fine, you have my word." Tegan walked to the door leaving her paper work behind. She wasn't making any leeway anyway.

"Thank you." Janet stepped into the hall.

"Don't mention it." Tegan locked the door before heading down to her quarters.