A/N: I didn't put a disclaimer in the last chapter cause I'm kinda new to this so…

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT own Starkid or the dialogue or the music. I wish I did, but I don't.

A Very Potter Sequel

Lyrics and Dialogue

Act 1 Part 2

Harry: Excuse me, sir! Can you tell me how to get to Platform 9 ¾?

Conductor: Platform 9 ¾? There ain't no such thing! You're the 700th kid to ask me that today and I still refuse to believe that it exists.

Harry: Sir, you gotta help me. I just ran away from my mean aunt and uncle. They keep me under some stairs. Listen, you gotta believe me. I got this letter from Hogwarts school of Witchcraft, WAIT SIR! LISTEN PLEASE, A BIRD GAVE IT TO ME...Yeah, right. Hogwarts.

Mrs. Weasley: Oh! Hurry kids! We're gonna miss the train! Come on Weasleys! BILL!

Bill: Yo, yo Ma

Mrs. Weasley: Charlie!

Charlie: Hi Mommy.

Mrs. Weasley: Percy!

Percy: Hello Mother.

Mrs. Weasley: Fred & George!

Fred: But I'm George.

Mrs. Weasley: Nice try. You got an "F" on your shirt dumbass.

Mr. Weasley: Oh boy! Real muggles! Everybody say "Chocolate frogs!" I THINK I GOT IT! Oh boy this is silly.

Mrs. Weasley: Oh Arthur. Stop fiddling with that muggle picture maker.

Mr. Weasley: Alright dear.

Mrs. Weasley: Where's Ron with your sister?

Ron: Did somebody say Ron?

Mrs. Wesley: Ronny, hurry, you're gonna miss your train!

Ron: Well, I'm tryin' to go faster but I got this idiot little sister!

Mrs. Weasley: Oh Ronny, apologize to your idiot sister!

Ron: NO!

Mrs. Weasley: Oh, you're gonna get it!

Mr. Weasley: Alright gang, Alright! It's picture time! This is Ronny's first day at Hogwarts, so here we go!

Mrs. Weasley: Oh it's so cute!

Mr. Weasley: Alright, smile now and…I GOT IT! This'll be a good one!

Harry: Excuse me, sir?

Mr. Weasley: Yes, my dear boy?

Harry: I couldn't help but overhear you say something about Hogwarts, can you tell me how to get to Platform 9 ¾?

Mr. Weasley: Platform 9 ¾? Why, it's right through that brick wall!

Harry: What?

Mrs. Weasley: Oh…Arthur. He doesn't know, must've been raised by muggles.

Harry: Wha-what's a muggle?

Mr. Weasley: WHAT'S A MUGGLE? Why it's a wizard who doesn't…I mean…It's a wizard who can't…he doesn't know what a moogle is.

Mrs. Weasley: A muggle is non-magical person. I'll tell you what, you stick with Ronny over there, it's his first year at Hogwarts too. ALRIGHT WEASLEYS IN YOU GO!

Mr. Weasley: Alright gang. Come on!

Mrs. Weasley: Ginny dear, Ginny dear, you come with me. Ginny, leave the boys alone. You can go to Hogwarts next year.

Ron: Yes, at last, FREEDOM! God, I hate my stupid little sister! Ugh! She's just such a…such a…

Harry: Butterface?

Ron: Hehehe, You know what kid? You're alright! I'm Ron Weasley. Hey! Do you want a delicious Red Vine?

Harry: Absolutely

Ron: Well, hey. Here you go, good buddy!

Harry: Red Vines. There like my favorite snack in the whole world.

Ron: Oh my god, me too, alright…favorite Aimee-Man song on three. 1…2…3

Both: Red Vines.

Harry: Favorite color vines other than green.

Both: Red Vines.

Ron: Favorite way to say "red wines" in a German accent.

Both: Red Vines. OH MY GOD!

Ron: Where have you been all my life?

Harry: Oh! In a cupboard under some stairs!

Ron: That's so cool. Alright well, come on friend. Let's go to Hogwarts. We just gotta go through that brick wall.

Harry: That sounds kinda scary.

Ron: Hey, it's okay. We can do it together. Wanna hold hands?

Harry: I'd love that.

Ron: On the count of three.

Both: 1…2…3…AHHHHHHH!

Ron: That's a big brick wall!

Percy: All aboard gang! Hogwarts Express!

Ron: Alright, let's go get a seat pal!

Harry: You got it!

Ron: Hey, pal, that's a pretty cool headband you got there.

Harry: Aw, thanks. I wear it to cover this gross scar I got when I was a baby. I was in the car with my parents when we crashed…into a crocodile…my parents got eaten…but then the crocodile took out a knife and gave me this scar. At least that's what my liar aunt and uncle told me, so.

Ron: Well, that sucks. Can I see it?

Harry: Uh, yeah, sure. There it is…what?

Ron: Oh my god, your Har…your Har-Har…

Seamus: Bloody 'ell! It's Harry Potter!

All: YAY!

Seamus: Seamus Finnagan, Mr. Potter. I'd say meeting like this is a real treat?

Dean: Yo what up man, my names Dean Tomas. You want some bubblegum?

Neville: Will you sign my Harry Potter poster, Mr. Potter?

Harry: Uh, yeah, sure. Uh, okay, who should I make it out to?

Neville: Neville Longbottom, sir.

Harry: Okay, Shlongbottom.

Cho: Ni hao Harry Potter, my name is Cho-Chang. You should visit the Ravenclaw house sometime.

Harry: Ron, What is going on? Everyone is treating me like I'm famous or something.

Ron: But Harry, YOU ARE!

Harry: What?

(Singing)

Ron: You're Harry Freakin' Potter!
You don't understand
you're a legend, man,
to us all!

Every son and daughter—

Ron & The Kids: [spoken] "SAFE!"

RON:
... From You-Know-Who,
all because of you!
You were small,
but I wonder if you can recall...

[CHORUS: Oooo...]

Ron:
Long story short,
this guy,
[whispered] "Voldemort"
was super cruel...

Harry: [spoken] "Voldemort?"

The Kids:

[GASP!] "SHHH!"

Chorus: Oooo...

Ron:
... Tried to kill you & your parents,
and this is where it gets intensely cool...

Even though you were a tiny little boy,
you shoulda died but you survived and then destroyed
this evil guy and it's story we enjoy to tell...

Ron & The Kids:
You're Harry Freakin' Potter!
We don't prefer Gandalf,
Merlin, or Oz,
You're a whole lot hotter!
With that lighting scar,
you're a superstar to us all!
If we're in trouble we know who to call!

(Dance Break)

Rita Skeeter:
You're Harry Freakin' Potter!
I wouldn't wince at all,
you're invincible to all harm!

Like betty crocker-

Rita Skeeter & The Kids:

[Oooh!]

Rita:
... I wanna eat you up!
No one'll beat you up
with that charm!
Remember, Harry, kid,
you're the Boss,
you're the King,
you're the Bomb!

(Spoken)

Harry: This is all too much to take, I mean this is all so unreal!

Ron: No it's not! You're Harry Potter! You're the coolest goddamn kid in the entire world! Everything's awesome for you, so you better get used to it!

(Singing)

Harry:
But this is all so sad,
I mean, my Mom and Dad
were killed, long ago...

The Kids:
[Long ago they died!]

Harry:
... I wanna be psyched,
but being unliked
is all I know...

Chorus:

[... All he knows, that's why-]

Harry:
I never thought I'd be a part of such a fate,
an opportunity eleven years late...
I guess it's time for me step up to the plate
and show 'em that I'm something great!

I'm Harry Freakin' Potter!
I'll do what I can
if what you say I am is true!

I can't be bothered
by my awful past,
I've found at last
something I can do,
so it's time I knew
exactly who I am...

I'm Harry Freakin' Potter!

The Kids:
You're Harry Freakin' Potter!

Harry &The Kids:
I'm/You're Harry Freakin' Potter-

Harry:
... And I'm the Man!

The Kids:
[Ahhhhhh]

Harry & The Kids:
[spoken] "HARRY FREAKIN' POTTER!"

A/N: Seven pages and 1,249 words. Wow.