Isenóre…

(Mine)

Chapter 02

~~~…~~~

I remember clearly it was a fine day to ride. The air was crisp, but the winter chill was gone and the promise of summer was on the air. We leisurely walked our horses after we tore from Meduseld, much to the amusement of the gate guards and the Queen and her ladies. They insisted on tying on favors and cheering us. We had participated in this game before - the King's éored was used to it, as was the queen, but never had I used the system set up so carefully. At least there were no questions and no one insisted on joining us. So once we were long out of sight of the city, we would stop and walk discussing things best kept secret.

"All is well in the east?" Although no one was within leagues, Éomer's voice was quiet.

"Aye." My answer was short. Not the answer he was expecting.

We walked a few more yards. "She is well?"

She. That's what he named her, called her. It was if he was terrified that if he said her name aloud, she would materialize from the air.

"Best I can tell."

The wind whipped our horses' manes and tails, the long horsetail of Éomer's helmet thrashing about wildly. The breeze matched my mood and my horse sensed it. The King waited until the wind died down to continue. "She has found someone?" It was hopefully asked.

"No."

Éomer's shoulders drooped, his earlier, temporary happiness evaporating. "I have ruined her, destroyed her life." He shook his head once.

"Sire, you cannot blame yourself."

"Yes, I can!" He shook an accusatory finger at me. "If anyone deserves happiness in this world, it is my wild briar rose." He did not appear to realize his slip. For a time, the very air between us was charged, the electricity almost violent.

Truthfully, I was shocked he still referred to her, thought of her as such. His. Mine. The rare times he discussed her, it was She. That he called her by the beloved pet name he used so many times, so many years ago, told me she laid much closer to his inner heart than I even suspected. This was going to be much harder than I feared.

"No," I continued quietly, trying my best to appear completely unbothered by my sovereign's outburst "you cannot. You had no idea what the world would bring when you aided her in repairing her home." Éomer's furious glare was heated and if his eyes truly shot the flame in them, I would be burnt to a cinder crisp. "No one can foretell what the heart will do."

Éomer looked off, far off into the distance. "I should have stayed away that Yule night. I should have left her in peace."

"But you did not and that brings us to the problem at hand."

Éomer's head jerked. "Something is wrong?"

I sighed. This was going to be so very difficult. "No. Nothing is wrong. There is a problem."

"And the problem is?"

I hesitated and this upset him. Patience was something Éomer always struggled with, continuing for years after he became king. This was not going to be easy. "There is a child."

Éomer stared me. "Say again?" His voice was hoarse, a whisper.

"There is a child," I repeated clearly.

"She has had a baby?"

"Yes."

Éomer had the good sense to look confused. "But you said she had not found any one."

Considering the look he gave me, I must have seemed as if to ponder a great mystery. "The child was born the summer after she left Aldburg."

Éomer blinked. Twice. "She was pregnant when she left."

"It appears so."

Éomer was filled with apparent self-loathing. "The child?"

"A boy. There is no doubt he is yours. Anyone who knows you and saw him would make the connection, see the resemblance."

He did not stop to ponder, to think. "He is healthy?"

"Extremely."

It didn't seem Éomer was breathing. Finally, "Wait here." With that Éomer rode off a ways, before stopping. He jumped from his horse, throwing the reins over the pommel and then threw his helmet into the dirt. Apparently that wasn't enough, because then he went and kicked it. He kicked it several times, in fact. Even from the distance, I could see the tenseness, the anger exploding from my king's body. After several minutes of kicking his headgear in the dust, Éomer retrieved it and motioned for me to join him. I took my time.

"Tell me." His teeth were gritted together, his words forced from between them. He made much of brushing the dirt from the metal and horsetail. "Tell me how this happened and you did not know for seven summers," his voice rose in fury, "that I have a son out in the far reaches of the Eastenmet!"

There was a stream and a few trees nearby, so I nodded towards it. I dismounted and began to lead my horse to it, knowing Éomer was beside me. "Over the years, I have taken great pains to not be seen by Wudurose."

"I do not wish for her to run again." Éomer had made this clear several times in the past.

"And I have no desire to track her again, but I would at your command." We arrived at the stream and my stallion made a beeline towards it. I loosely tied the reins around the pommel of the saddle. Many times, I suggested he let her go, truly set her free and the thought to suggest that again crossed my mind, but with the newest revelation, I realized that would never happen. He had always refused in the past and now…

"I would command it. You know that." Firefoot joined my horse and Éomer withdrew two flasks from his belt, offering me one. We sat against a tree, able to see the horses and the surrounding countryside. His knee bounced erratically, an obvious sign of his current state of mind. "How did you find out about my son?"

I noted with trepidation his automatic acceptance of the boy. I told him of circling the town, as I always did. It was mid-sized with several shops and a blacksmith. Commerce trading took place in a farmer's stall setting and there was a thriving pub that served a hearty fare that my men and I enjoyed many times. Several times, I had traveled through with a contingent of riders, asking the blacksmith, who appeared to be the headman, of any irregularities, how the townspeople and surrounding farms fared, their needs. He knew his settlement, its citizens well, and a few times, he mentioned Wudurose by name; especially that he worried of her being a single, widowed woman alone out on her homestead. Her child was never mentioned.

This last trip, however, rather than ride through, as we did in the past, Ceorl's horse threw a shoe and mine developed a stone bruise. Fixing Ceorl's shoe was not a problem, but mine had to rest several days. It left me in an awkward position.

"I did what I would normally do in that situation," I told the king. "I sent my group of Riders on, telling them to continue the inspection of the countryside and the next group of settlements on our rotation and then to return for me in a week."

Éomer nodded. "So, what happened?"

"The blacksmith – Tondhere – was kind enough to loan me a mount – an irascible nag who would just soon take a bite from my leg, rather than eat his feed." I took a swig of the flask Éomer handed me and immediately shuddered, much to my sovereign's strange delight. I knew better than to comment or complain. "I suspect the loan was to ensure I would not ride off with the worthless piece of horseflesh. I scouted the countryside, attempting not to put my nose in places where people would remember me. I was lucky and caught Wudurose out in her fields when I surveyed her home."

Éomer was not truly drinking; he had a far away look in his eye. "You got a closer look?"

"Aye. The homestead is well tended. The dwelling is sturdy, well built, bigger than her cottage in Aldburg." My king nodded, obviously pleased that the abode was in good condition and that she was able to afford to keep it that way. "The barn has recently been enlarged; she has plenty of farm stock. No horses however, save for Fléotigu."

"No horses?"

"None."

Éomer snorted. "We will see about that." He motioned with his hand. "Continue."

I told him of returning to the small town, passing time, gleaning information as possible. I did not tell him of going to the river to fish and enjoying the several days of downtime. Getting an off-day was bliss. Getting the extremely rare several days off must be like riding in the Halls of our Fathers! I discovered that Wudurose was known to hire young adults, preferring those in need of work for their family, young marrieds or those planning to marry. She had a reputation of being kind – Éomer nodded along enthusiastically – and generous.

"When did you see my son? Find out about him?" He was obviously becoming impatient and the sun was moving faster than I would like across the sky.

"Apparently, a young woman watches her son while she works in her fields. Acha came into town with her younger siblings and Edric."

"Edric? She named him Edric?" He smiled. "Edric. That is a fine name." I watched him swell with pride, much as he had when Elfwine was born.

"The girl was buying bone needles and I commented on how one so young could have so many little ones at her skirts. She laughed at me." I tried to sound affronted as such behavior, but I remember quite well the wholesomeness of her face and figure. Had I been twenty… twenty-five summers younger, I would have entertained thoughts a bit more lively. "She told me that all but one were her siblings and the other," I stopped to look at Éomer, "belonged to her neighbor, Wudurose."

"The girl named her?"

"Aye. And I had no problem figuring out which child was hers." I took another swallow of the burning liquid, hoping it would quell the nervousness in my voice. "I remember well when you were younger and still in Aldburg. You drove the household insane with your antics. Into everything."

"I was not that bad," he whispered. This was killing him, I could tell.

"You were wretched. Thank Béma you grew up!" I waited a moment, before continuing. "He is your guts, sire, both in looks and temperament. He is a joyous, happy child. Well behaved."

"If he is well behaved, he is not my guts." It was an attempt to be jovial. I hurt for my king. He was not only my lord, my ruler; he was my friend. But I was pledged to do his bidding, no questions asked, to lay down my life at his command.

"One of the children got in to something and I made haste to hide in the room I rented at the Inn until she left. I did not want… embarrassing questions. Luckily, it began to rain and my Riders returned two days later, so we left town with little commotion." I could see the muscle in Éomer's jaw working at a nervous tic.

"I need to see her."

"No, sire."

I was pinned with a look that terrified me to my boots. It took every ounce of courage to keep from groveling. "I need to see her. I want to see her!"

"No, sire. You must not."

"Gamling!" He shot to his feet. "She must think I have abandoned her, left her and Edric to fend for themselves!"

I got up slowly, dusting the dirt from the seat of my pants. "Éomer, she ran. She ran I suspect to hide this from you, to hide this from everyone. She sold her home and farmland and relocated so that no one would know, to get a fresh, new start. She left suddenly, with no notice. I cannot imagine how desperate she must have been." The time had come to be harsh and I hated it. "Your feelings for her are still raw, even after all these years." He drew up, shocked either from my rebuke or the fact I voiced it at all, I did not know. "How long has it been since you drank with your men? You cannot because you fear you will talk. Most men, kings, would have walked away, but you refused and now you cannot walk away because she has something precious." His look was mutinous so I squelched the human part of me and went for the merciless kill. "Do you not love your queen even a little?" That worked. "How would she feel if she thought for a moment, you still loved or had feelings for another?"

"I love Lothiriel, you know I do, it is simp-"

"Wudurose still holds a piece of your heart," I finished for him quietly. "There is a part of you, deep down, before the world changed, when you had choices and she was your choice." I remember shaking my head sadly. "The heart does not consider political responsibility and it is always what hurts the most." I went around him and retrieved my beast. "I too, have such a one in my past… if I could go back, do things differently, I would. I cannot. So I dream at night. But," I stopped him before he could respond, "I do not have a beautiful wife who loves me, to ease my pain."

We both mounted up and turned to return to Edoras. "Gamling, I cannot do nothing," Éomer was chewing on a bone and I knew him well. He would gnaw on it until he figured out the solution. "Edric is my son, just as much as Elfwine is."

"He is also your bastard. Openly acknowledged bastards often wish they were not acknowledged." I wanted to thrash myself for saying it.

I watched as Éomer's hands and jaw clenched tightly. I wondered if I would be returning to Edoras beaten black and blue or hanging over the saddle of my horse. After measuring his words, he spat, "It is unfair that she carry the burden of raising him on her own with no aid. We will think on this. There must be some way, some way to help her."

With that, he galloped off, leaving me in his angry dust.

tbc