Do not own Harry Potter. Regulus View.
Note made up the poem/song/whatever hopefully not too bad.
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The minute we were on the train Sirius walked away from me and I do not know anyone really well on this train. Sure I know all of the pureblood names and faces, but it is still not the same. Someone wearing green oh must be Slytherin said to me with a smirk "Your brother is a stupid blood traitor."
He was mocking my brother and mocking me for Sirius being a so called blood traitor. I will not lose my cool and control. I stated flatly to him "Well you are clearly a moron. For one is he is not stupid, and he is not a blood traitor."
Then I smirked, but then added mockingly "Ever heard of keeping your friends close, but your foes closer. Ever heard of gathering information, blackmail, finding weaknesses, finding out everything first hand and using it against them. Well have you? Never ever say that about my older brother unless you have some hard cold facts. It can mean danger will occur if you say my brother is a blood traitor. After all I read a lot."
He yelled "You skinny little smartass! I'm a second year Slytherin! Respect me!"
I stated "Oh, Just one year ahead bet you do not read often. I'll be in Slytherin and the day I respect you... Will be never happen and don't hold your breath waiting for it."
He was stuttering with rage and I left him quietly after all I do not want to get into trouble. I found an area with no one in it, I changed into my uniform and then I opened up a book to read. Before I knew it the train arrived at Hogwarts and time for everyone to leave the train. I did not gasp in amazement like most of the other first years for I just smiled to myself. We were walked into the Great Hall and are names were being called.
"Black, Regulus."
I noticed the people around Sirius looked a bit 'like what on Earth'. I smiled bitterly for I know why then I put the hat on. Bet he didn't tell them that he had a younger brother and he must feel so ashamed.
Hm where to sort you
Quit messing around hat
Bad mood. Now let's dig deeper. Oh very smart and still loyal to your brother? You are sly, good at acting, and good at controling yourself.
Just sort me
Oh be that way Regulus Black and straight to the point.
The hat yelled out "Slytherin!"
No one clapped and I didn't care. I walked over to the Slytherin table and I only ate a little amount of food. So I'm in Slytherin just as I thought and I will not let them call Sirius a blood tratior. Yes, he may hate me, but he is still my brother. I still love him even though he is being cold to me. I can see he is having fun with his friends and laughing. Our parents told us to be called a blood tratior is the worst. I won't let anyone trash Sirius's or the family name. Soon it was time to go to the rooms and I changed into my sleep clothing. My roomates did not comment about being able to see some of my bones and I looked in the mirror.
I thought to myself 'Great now I'm too skinny. I look like death has warmed and Sirius didn't notice. I have to slowly gain my weight back and I'll mail order for some books on this subject. I can not rush it or else I'll get sick.'
In the morning time at breakfeast I only ate an apple and I saw my brother walk over. Maybe now he'll say something to me and maybe tell me what is wrong with me. However Sirius just grabbed my wrist, I mentally winced and I knew it would bruise. I saw his friends, the ones who took him away, and maybe the reason why he didn't write. I felt a little anger boiling up, but I bottled it up. At least Sirius finally noticed me and might talk to me.
Sirius didn't look at me, but stated "This is my younger brother Regulus. Regulus this is James Potter, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew."
A pure blood tratior, half blood, and another half blood. It didn't matter what kind of blood they happen to have to me. I dislike for the fact that they can talk, write, and be repiled to by my brother. Yeah I'm a pure blood, his brother, known him, and everything, but yet he hardly ever talks to me and he lives with me. I was jealous of them and I felt envy burning up. However I did not down right hate Sirius's friends and I notice my housemates were staring. Now I notice Sirius still has a grip on my wrist like I'm going to run away.
I stated flatly "Hello. Now can you let go of my wrist. I think I'm starting to bruise."
I muttered "You could have just told me to come along and I would have Sirius."
I walked away, glancing down at my wrist I noticed a forming of a bruise, and I just sighed.
I started to tell them "I had to say hello-"
Then the same second year from the train said to me smugly "See your brother is a blood tratior. Hah, look at his friends."
I smirked then calmly said to him in a mocking way "Ever heard of playing pretend? Ever heard of fake kindness, love, and friendship? Along with those big fake smiles, talking to whom you despie, but yet being oh so polite. Now then kindly shut your mouth."
The second year was flushed with anger, but then I went on to say "Oh, cool down sweetie. Your oh so scary and manly."
Of course the second year screamed "You bitch! Your mocking me!"
I stated "Oh, dear making a scene how shameful."
I was having a bit of fun with mocking the second year named Len McCoy even though I'm a first year. I noticed my brother looking at this table and I almost smiled for at least he notices.
I added "Oh and McCoy you are rather hotheaded. Darling maybe you are a lion instead of a snake?"
McCoy yelled quite loudly "Regulus Black I hate you!"
I repiled mockingly "Oh, Love you too. Heh, that temper will land you in some trouble."
McCoy tried to grab me, but I grabbed his arms then told him "Witnesses, witnesses everywhere, and you will be in trouble. For a note just for you, Muggle style fighting is a no no unless you lost or broke your wand."
The second years told McCoy it is not worth it and my year which is first year was impressed, but not openly of course. I was the last one to leave then Sirius's friend Lupin walked toward me. What could he want was my only thought.
Lupin told me "You look unhealthy. You should go to hospital wing."
Damnit all this Lupin I just met noticed what my own brother did not even noticed. I felt like yelling and crying at the same time. I just can't stand it and questions were going through my mind. Why did Lupin notice? Why did Sirius my own brother did not notice? I'm in a bad mood and I notice Lupin looking a bit under the weather.
I snapped "You look unhealthy too Lupin. Is it a crime?"
Lupin repiled "I can see your bones cle---"
I walked away quickly and started my way to class. The day seemed to fly bye quickly and it was time for dinner. I saw my brother making some kind of a joke, I remembered back when he told me jokes, and I would laugh. I wish I could go back to those times before Sirius went to hogwarts. Then I noticed the second year Snape was starting to change color and everyone else in Slytherin expect me. Must be the food since I did not have a bite of it for I did not feel hungry. Almost everyone was laughing, this must be the joke, and it is on Slytherin. I was not laughing not because it was on Slytherin, but because I was not told of the joke.
I saw Sirius and his friends plus many others smiling also laughing. No one noticed me not like it mattered to me. Snape and the other Slytherins were enraged at the color gold and scarlet. Then McCoy yelled "Hey, what about Regulus Black!"
I stated "I simply did not feel like eating for I do not feel good."
Then my brother decided to notice me and he cast a spell at me. Now I was in a pink dress and I did not feel rage. I turned it green and did not bother yelling. I simply walked away and some were stunned at my lack of outrage. Sirius's friends are the problem and they are the reason as to why he is like this now. I express what I feel when no one is around or it is to someone whom I trust. The hall was empty and the air was cold. I went to the window and did not wimper as the tears ran down. Why is my brother acting this way? What have I done? I remembered how Sirius use to be semi nice to the house elf, but then when he got back. He was no longer nice to the house elf. Am I like the house elf in that sense? Sirius have you abandoned me? NO NO NO, he would never ever do that to me!
I sighed then I muttered "Sirius, Would not ever abandon me."
I did not bother to wipe my face and I was back in my bed in Slytherin. I almost forgot to undo the spell, I knew Sirius knows how to change clothing into dresses after all we were taught spells by our parents. Of course without a wand and it was mainly reading/saying. My belly was growling and it did not matter to me as I went to sleep. I awoke early and as I was walking I saw Snape. I know Snape is a half blood after all I did research during the summer on all pure bloods and half bloods. Yes everyone expect me knows that Snape is in fact a half blood. I do not care for not everyone in Slytherin is a pure blood and the other houses assume Slytherin means it only has pure bloods.
I sat down at the great hall and Snape for unknown reasons decided to come over.
Severus Snape told me "I hate your brother."
I said to him "Yes, Along with almost everyone in Slytherin."
Snape asked me "Regulus Black do you hate your brother?"
I repiled calmly "No, but it seems he hates me."
Snape asked me "Why?"
I did not want to think about it, but the question 'Why' always appears in my mind. Also Snape seems not to have many people to chat with at all. On top of that who would believe Severus Snape?
I answered "Last year, I wrote to him often, but he never repiled or even wrote to me. During the summer time he writes letters to his friends almost every day, does not even talk to me or even notice me. I tried to gain his notice, but it failed. My brother seems to wish that he was from some other family. I know that mother yells, screams, and throws things. Why is it that he wishes to be away from me. I never yelled, scream, or hurt him. I was nice, covered for him, but yet it is not enough."
Snape was about to say something, but my brother showed up. Sirius scoffed at Snape and said to me "Regulus, Never knew you were so desprate to find friends. To think your are friends with a greasy haired git."
I snapped ""He is a good listener unlike you Sirius. You use to listen to me."
Sirius glared at me then asked "What?"
I couldn't stand having him glare at me and I did not like feeling hated. Sirius use to listen to me and have the answers.
I repiled calmly "Sirius, you are not good at hearing people out."
I noticed Sirius's friends coming over and I saw Snape sneering at them.
Sirius told me "You are such a--"
Potter asked "Sirius, what is the problem?"
I noticed Snape bringing out his wand, but I didn't take out my wand. Sirius answered Potter with 'Snape being alive', I felt a pang of pain for I think Sirius wished I was not ever born, and that I never existed.
I stated "Sometimes I wished I was never born, but guess what I was born."
I walked away and I knew they were confused expect maybe Snape.
-With Sirius, Remus, James, Peter, and Snape-
Sirius answered James by saying "Snape being alive."
Regulus stated "Sometimes I wished I was never born, but guess what I was born."
Regulus walked away, James raised an eyebrow then asked "What was that all about?"
Sirius rolled his eyes then repiled "Being a drama queen."
Remus started to say "I think--"
Sirius coughed then stated "Anyway who cares about that drama queen."
Snape was able to walk away before anyone noticed and left.
-Back to Regulus-
I decided to go to hospital wing for something to help with this dizzyness I'm feeling right now. Madam Pomfrey decided that I needed a check up or something like to find out what is wrong with me. Turns out I was underweight and I have to take potions every day for about a month. I went to class and it was quite dull. It was painfully easy and before I knew it I was sleeping. I had a nightmare and it was about Sirius leaving me to live somewhere else. I won't be left behind by myself and Sirius will willingly talk to me.
Sometimes I get these nightmares,
It's about you leaving,
It's about me being left behind,
You not caring,
I won't believe it.
I want to believe,
One day you will talk to me,
That you will listen,
That you'll understand,
For I believe in you.
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