Well, this took a while, sorry about that.

Wanted it perfect, so I reread and analyzed "The Lost Hero" again before writing this.

Disclaimer: I don't own "Percy Jackson & the Olympians".


It was a wonderful, spectacular, frighteningly perfect new day. For everyone except Piper.

Nope, she was still perfect.

Really, she had tried everything. She had cried, rubbed her face, mussed her hair, but her eyes didn't go red, her makeup wouldn't run, and her hair always returned into proper place. How long would this last?! Was she going to be stuck as a Cherokee Barbie for the rest of her life? And in this dollhouse?

Great, she actually was living in a dollhouse. With a bunch of snobs, losers, and fashionistas. And nightmares.

No, this was a nightmare, and it was only worse when she actually got to sleep. Snakes, fire, the voice, her dad and those chains holding him to the rocks...

Another knock on the bathroom. And another.

"Is she okay?"

"I don't know, this is a really thick door-"

"Hey! Open up new girl!"

Piper started to wipe her face, then realized it didn't matter because she still looked gorgeous no matter how much she cried, cussed quietly and ran some water. Splashing the lukewarm water around in the sink for effect, she called out to the others, "Almost done!"

Weird enough, they seemed pretty patient when waiting to use the bathroom. The rest of the Cabin. Her... good God... no, gods, that's what it was now apparently. What..? Oh, yes.

Her brothers and sisters.

Piper had brothers and sisters, and they were probably exactly like the posers and the wannabes she had to deal with at school, at the Wilderness Camp, and now she was stuck with them instead of with Jason...

This was the worst. And she couldn't even be free to look as bad as she felt.

"Sorry, just... I'm sorry, had to do something." Lame excuse. The Barbies and Ken's seemed to buy it though.

"Like what?" One asked, cocking her head. Which was... a good point.

There wasn't much that could be done, this blessing made hair, skin, even the way clothes fell around her all perfect. It was unnerving waking up looking ready for a photo-shoot in your pajamas. Which reminded Piper, she still needed to change-

"... where are my clothes?" Her backpack was gutted, in a style reminiscent of a carcass left behind by army ants or piranhas. And that's when she noticed all her new dollhouse brothers and sisters rifling through and inspecting her wardrobe, her toiletries, her... oh gods, her underwear-!

"Are you poor?" One girl blurted.

"Oh by mom, Karol you can't just ask people if they're poor!" Another girl elbowed her fiercely.

"We had to burn the gimp-jacket." Another boy grimly explained when Piper continued to search in vain.

"Th-That was a ski-jacket!" Piper objected, blushing furiously.

Winces all around. One girl actually took Piper's hand, like a grandmother making a show of sympathy. "oh... oh sweetie..."

Piper pulled away, looking around wildly. "What's wrong with my clothes?"

"Oh where to begin..?" The girl (Karol? Why did Piper instinctively know to spell that with a 'k'?) shook her head. "Let's start with the 'ski' coat-"

"Nope, let's scatter those ashes across the sea and never speak of it again." Another snapped, shaking her head.

"Fair point. Right, besides 'It-That-Shall-Not-Be-Named'-"

"Nice on the 'Harry Potter' reference!"

"Thanks!" Karol beamed. Clearly she wasn't complimented enough for her literary know-how. "Right, besides that... none of your underwear matches, half your socks had holes in them, your gym shorts were baggy, you don't have a single thing pink, you didn't pack even one dress or skirt, your gloves looked like you cut the fingers off with a hacksaw, your scarf was spastic, your deodorant was for men, you only had two pairs of shoes-"

"Boots and sandals." Another girl corrected.

"Thank you Sydney." Karol nodded graciously. "Two pairs of 'footwear', which were boots and sandals. Honestly."

"'Honestly', they were comfortable. All my stuff was comfortable and, and durable, and this was an invasion of my privacy that I do NOT appreciate! You destroyed my stuff!"

"So? We'll give you new clothes, and accessories, and- hey, where are you going?!"

"Out of here!" Maybe it wasn't smart, or mature, and she was still in her pajamas, but Piper couldn't stand being around these people. She had to go on that Quest, she had to get away from them, to be with Jason-!

... and her father. She needed to save him, but telling people she was having dreams? Dreams with her father being held against his will by an enormous flaming-snake giant? No, it was bad enough she was the new girl who glowed and turned into a model, she wouldn't get people saying she was crazy on top of everything else.

Of course she would run straight into Drew, toweling off her hair. "Ow! Watch it, Dumpster Queen!"

"Sorry, just please move, please." Piper tried to move around the taller girl. But Drew barred her way, suddenly interested, like a cat that finds that the mouse has a little more life in her than expected.

"Shouldn't you be getting dressed first, hon?" From this close, Piper could smell peppermint and cocoa butter. Drew smelled like a very expensive Christmas cake.

"Personal space, please." Piper stepped back, trying not to think about cake. "And I can't get dressed, because all my clothes are burnt. What is wrong with all of you?"

"Well hon," Drew simpered, long nail gingerly brushing one of Piper's choppy bangs. "If you're going to be with us for a while, might as well learn how things work around here."

Like Hell... or, whatever, Hades. "I am not going to be here long, I'm going on a quest."

"Oh?" Drew raised a perfectly plucked eyebrow in mock surprise, to the tune of her posse of sycophants giggling. "I thought I remember everyone voting for me? You know, better qualified, better looking... you know, just better. Maybe that's why mom gave you the blessing, so you wouldn't look quite as bad in comparison to moi."

"I didn't ask her to do anything." Piper snapped. "Get out of my way."

Drew ceased to be amused. "I think you should sit down and listen to how things are supposed to be-"

"Think again." Piper shouldered her way past Drew. There were gasps from inside the Aphrodite cabin. Bunch of melodramatic losers.

And Drew was the one going on a Quest? Where was the fairness in that? If she couldn't handle someone having a mind of their own, how was she going to handle monsters like Dylan? Actually, Drew was just Dylan's type, even if he was a weird wind monster.

"Hey! Hey wait up!"

It was a new voice, so Piper didn't see the harm in facing this new person. He definitely looked like one of... the people who lived in Cabin Ten, if a bit more miniature than the rest of them. Chestnut, no, auburn hair... NO, brown. He had brown hair, and what was wrong with her thinking in all these specifics? One night sleeping in Cabin Ten and she was able to tell who dotted their 'i's with hearts and rattle off different shades of brown?

Too freaky.

Whatever, point was this boy had brown (auburn) hair, neatly combed, flawless skin, perfectly crisp clothes, and a skinny build that didn't resemble any of the more active campers. Definitely one of the Ken-dolls.

"You just stood up to Drew, didn't you?" He asked, jogging next to her.

Piper shrugged. "Wasn't that big a deal, really."

The boy clutched his hand to his heart like he was going to faint. "'Not a big deal'? Do you know what Drew can do?"

"Wasn't sure she did anything except try to bring back eighties hairdos." Piper muttered.

"She can- that's hilarious by the way- charmspeak." Mitchell waited for Piper to react. Maybe a gasp and swoon. Then he remembered she was new, even if she was older than him, and sighed. "It means she can make people do what she says. Like, mindcontrol. Hypno-speech."

And that got Piper's attention, stomach feeling like it was turning into granite. "Like... she could make someone giver her something if she asked to 'borrow' it?"

Mitchell shuddered. "Don't give her anymore ideas. It's bad enough the way it is."

"Right," Piper looked away, stomach still feeling queasy. "It's pretty messed up... wait, if Drew could just convince everyone that she was supposed to go on the Quest-?"

"She tried." Mitchell nodded.

"... oh." Well, that was obvious.

"It didn't work though. And then you got blessed by mom." Mitchell nodded confidently. "She's in your corner, definitely. And if mom's siding with you instead of Drew, than you definitely are the one who's supposed to be in charge."

"That... doesn't seem right." Not that it didn't make sense, but it certainly wasn't fair that a mother would be so open about which daughter was her favorite. Piper wasn't really certain that parents should have favorites at all.

"It's not." A familiar voice interrupted. "Just the way it is. Don't think of them as mortal parents, they're really honest about which children are their favorites. Clarisse, daughter of Ares."

She really was a very tall girl, maybe Jason's height. Probably outweighed Jason too, all muscle like a CrossFit athlete or MMA fighter. No wonder everyone was afraid to go against her when she seconded Drew's nomination. Piper was almost certain if she listened carefully now she'd hear Mitchell's knees knocking together.

Took her a while to notice Clarisse still held out a hand. "Oh, I right... I mean, right. I remember."

Piper winced when Clarisse squeezed her hand, glancing down at close-cut nails and scarred, calloused knuckles.

Clarisse let go. "Sorry. Habit."

"Right." Shaking the life back into her fingers, Piper managed a halfhearted smile and nod. "Good morning."

Smirking, Clarisse nodded right back. "Nice pajamas."

"... this is a little embarrassing."

"Yeah it is." A bicep as big as Piper's whole neck coiled around her shoulders. "Come on, the Camp Store has clothes."

"That's very... helpful-" Piper managed as she was frogmarched along.

"You too Mitch." Clarisse barked. Jumping, Mitchell scurried after them, following Clarisse like a puppy scampering at She-Hulk's heel.

"Should I talk with lesson plans and activities-?"

"Thank you Mitch-"

"Mitchell, I hate being called that." The younger boy interrupted.

"oh, sorry. Um, thank you Mitchell, but I don't think I should be here at Camp for long-" Piper practically squawked as Clarisse's hold on her tightened.

"Wrong. We need you here."

At least now things were starting to make sense. Piper mustered up courage, which was not easy when a warrior girl in fatigues held you in a near headlock. "Is that why you swayed the crowd?"

"To get you? Not so much," Clarisse admitted. "To get rid of Drew? Abso-freakin'-lutely."

"Why though?" Just when things started to make sense for Piper McLean, in the same week that a wind-mimbo attacked her on a field-trip, of course that wouldn't last. "I mean... what?"

"Shrimpy could tell you." Clarisse pointed out as they arrived at the Camp Store, which looked remarkably like any other gift shop that Piper had seen before. Slightly tacky, partially cool, probably overpriced once she learned what a dracma was, and slightly cluttered. No chance that the sizes for the orange shirts were sorted properly.

"What's with the orange?" Piper pointed, as Clarisse lightly shoved her to the clothes section. "Makes this whole camp feel a bit like a prison, doesn't it?"

To that, Clarisse snorted. "Right. 'A bit'. Officially it's a sanctuary, but it starts to feel that way when there's no other options. We're here, we learn to fight, we're sent out to lay low or get caught by monsters. It's the best we can manage though."

"... how long have-?"

"Five years." Showing what looked just like a halfhearted Arts & Crafts project, Clarisse pointed to each of the painted beads on a necklace she had tangled with dog-tags. "Every year since I was thirteen."

Piper frowned, picking out a pair of capri shorts and medium orange shirt... which looked mildly good paired with a navy blue vest. "Why so early?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, well, I'm almost sixteen, why so..." There was a sudden realization, where Piper had the feeling she was again the exception and not the rule. "... long? Why was I kept away so long?"

Frustratingly, Clarisse just shrugged. "Beats me. Maybe you're just special. Aphrodite taking you as the flavor of the week. Not every child of Aphrodite gets a blessing when being claimed, some just get a dove glowing over their head in pink."

"... a pink dove?" Sounded like a mutant to Piper.

"No no," Mitchell interrupted. "White dove, outlined in pink, like a sunset over the ocean... all misty, glowing like that hammer-on-fire that happened for your friend?"

"oh yeah, Leo." Piper nodded, remembering his claiming. "He thought his hair was on fire."

"Probably would be an improvement." Mitchell quipped. "His hair looked like a bird-nest that hit hard times."

"oh don't be like that." Piper chided. Even if Leo got on her nerves sometimes, they were still friends. "And what about the others?"

"Hm?"

"How are the others claimed?" Piper clarified, pulling off her pajama-top. "Flaming swords? Lightning bolts like for Jason-?"

"Actually, I've never seen a child of Zeus get claimed." Mitchell admitted. "Before Jason, I guess, but that seemed pretty strange..."

"Apparently he's not an ordinary child of Zeus," Clarisse's voice distractedly cut in, sounding further away. "Like he's not... HEY, YOU LITTLE SHITS HAVE TO PAY FOR THOSE!"

There was cursing, unkind laughter, and sound of people scattering. Piper couldn't imagine anyone laughing after Clarisse yelled like that.

"What was-?"

Mitchell anticipated her question. "Eris-kids. They're the worst."

What Piper remembered from all the Greek myths she learned from movies and scripts. But always, whenever Eris was involved, it was bad news. "Eris. The goddess of discord? Of strife?"

"Sure is." Mitchell sounded disturbingly blase about the whole thing, like there weren't children of a chaotically evil goddess running around. "Her kids had to be claimed, just like all the minor gods and goddess' children."

All the minor gods and goddesses. All the minor- "I'm sorry, I'm so lost. How many gods are there?"

"Easier if I tell you how many cabins there are." Mitchell correctly lightly.

Stepping out of the changing room, after straightening her new orange shirt, Piper crossed her arms. "Alright, how many cabins are there?"

"Close to twenty now." Mitchell nodded blithely. "Was twelve at first, for the twelve Olympians, but then Hades was added. And then Hecate, Nemesis, we tried with Hebe, you've met Hypnos' kids, and then it turns out Eris has a lot of children somehow-"

"Whoa, wait... what?" That all sounded horrible. Eris, Nemesis, Hecate... those sounded like terrifying gods.

"What part?" It really was disturbing how calm Mitchell was through all of this. Then again, he didn't bat an eye when Clarisse came back with a bloody-lip either.

"Little shits are getting worse than ever..." Clarisse grumbled, dabbing her lip. "What?"

"Just telling Piper how things are around Camp," assured Mitchel "thought it'd save on time."

"So she knows things are going haywire?" Judging by the impatient look Clarisse fixed her with, Piper knew the correct answer was 'yes'.

Sensing tension, Mitchell spoke up with voice at minimum amount of tremble. "Just was explaining how things work around here, cabins and stuff. Didn't cover much else-"

"You tell her what Cabin Ten does?" Clarisse interrupts, still staring intently at Piper. Which was really, very creepy.

"Oh, right!" Mitchell clapped his hands in delight. Piper half-expected him to squeal he looked so excited. "All of the Cabins have their jobs, depending on who their parent is. The Ares kids are good at fighting, so they test weapons and obstacle courses and always play the roughest at Capture the Flag. Oh! Capture the Flag is a big deal. You should remember that. Once, Percy Jackson got claimed during Capture the Flag, and then all the gods started claiming their kids then because it seemed cool, but when Janus starts doing it then people know it's not cool at all. So then, that's what Ares' kids do. Athena's kids, like Annabeth who you met, they plan and stuff. Come up with strategy, organize books, they even started a library and a website for us, which is pretty awesome. And both Demeter and Dionysus' kids, they work in the-"

"Aphrodite." Clarisse snapped. "Cabin Ten. What do you guys do, not everyone else. Come on Mitch."

"Don't call me that." Mitchell snapped. Took a breath. "Right, Cabin Ten has the most important job of all. Arguably. No, certainly the most important... we pair up couples."

All of that build up, for this.

"You're not serious." Piper groaned, looked to Clarisse pleadingly. "That really can't be it."

"I'm afraid so," Mitchell nodded solemnly. "And even if it's hard work, someone needs to do it. We set up the best couples, and we break them apart when something better comes along. It's a time honored tradition to be the matchmakers of Camp. What with halfblood hormones going haywire, nobody knows what's going on and we help them out."

"Scram Mitchell." Waving a hand, Clarisse sighed. "Seriously, shoo."

Once again, the slightly built boy scampered off, taking (and somehow folding) Piper's pajamas. "I'll try to find some new clothes for you in the laundry!"

"Wait, wait you don't need to do that-! Wow he's fast..."

To that, Clarisse shrugged. "Nah, just motivated. You should see the Eris or the Hermes kids. Though, if you see the Hermes kids they're taking it easy so... whatever. Walk with me?"

"Do I have a choice or are you going to put me in a headlock again?" Maybe it wasn't a good idea to snark at a girl who looked like she could single-handily tear apart a SWAT team, but Piper was feeling like a pin-ball being shuttled back and forth between all these new people.

"Do you want to be put in a headlock again, or are you going to come with me on your own?"

"... that's not fair-"

"Hey, you wanted to have a choice." Shrugging, Clarisse headed off on her own out of the store, leaving money at the counter. Looked like real gold coins... this was getting weirder and weirder.

But, Piper had to admit, between the Stepford Barbies or this Xena in camouflage, the choice was easy. "Hey, wait up!"

Thankfully, Clarisse slowed down a bit. She had much longer legs, and Piper found herself jogging to keep up. "Good choice."

"Listen, I can't decide if I know what you want from me or not..."

"You could ask." Clarisse pointed out.

"Fair enough," Piper took a breath. "You want me around, so I guess you think I'm worthy of something? What is that? Why?"

Clarisse stopped, taking her hands out of her pockets. "You've ever been in a fight before?"

Well aware she was freezing up, Piper swallowed. "No, not really..."

"Drew fought in a war where people died. She's more qualified to be on a quest than you are. She's going to need to be, since monsters eat unprepared demigods," remarkably callous, Clarisse shrugged. "or worse."

"T-that's horrible..." Shuddering, Piper turned away.

"You rather it be you?" Clarisse turned Piper back around. "Look, Drew trained. She's the only one on that Quest that has training... that we know of. She has a special ability. But I think you have it too... and that makes you very useful."

That sounded sketchy. "'Useful' how?"

"You like how the Aphrodite Cabin spends their free-time?" Judging by her wry smile, Clarisse already knew otherwise.

"... it's so... cliche and petty." Piper confessed ruefully, still not sure if she liked this intense girl anymore.

"Wasn't always like that." And for a moment, Piper could swear she saw a bit of sympathy in Clarisse's brown (sepia a voice in her head persisted) eyes. Sympathy and definite sadness. "Wasn't always about heartbreak, it was supposed to be about helping people find love... but enough of that, I'll settle for you helping people just get along so there's a Camp to save."

"What?"

Clarisse gestured about. "Remember that talk about 'minor' gods, and all?"

"Hard to forget," admitted Piper. "Though I'm still a little confused at what makes the difference..."

"I'll explain with the tour," promised Clarisse. "It's not that big a camp, but it's gotten larger, and has a bunch of new people coming in. And some of them aren't happy, and more of the people who were here already aren't happy, and everyone who doesn't get to go on a quest gets stir-crazy. If we don't have someone to keep the peace here, we might not have a Camp to save at all."

"How do you expect me to do all of this?" Biting her lip, Piper looked out over to the cabins they were nearing. Were they all full? That could be as many as... that'd be hundreds of people. Hundreds of superpowered people, going through puberty.

"We introduce you to the biggest problems, and you do what comes naturally." After a moment, Clarisse clarified. "That means most of the newer cabins, and a lot of children from minor-gods."

"And what's supposed to come naturally to me? Why me?"

"As opposed to Drew? Face it, she may have more training but she's not leading Cabin Ten down the right path. I know you wouldn't remember, but the Aphrodite children used to have someone who could lead them by example and make the right choices." Strangely, Clarisse looked out of breath by this point. Like she wasn't used to talk this much all at once, or maybe something else. As if this seemed too recent for her.

It was enough to get Piper's interest again. "Are you alright?"

"Never better. Come on, we'll start with Cabin One..."


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