Disclaimer: I don't own Dragonball Z.
Chapter Two: Life lessons
Goku flew away as fast as he could. He didn't know where he was going, only that it had to be as far away from anything that would make him think of Chi Chi.
Unfortunately for him, everything reminded him of Chi Chi at the moment.
The forests below him reminded him of Mt Paozu, which led to thoughts of her. The clouds reminded him of Nimbus, and how he used to take Chi Chi on trips using the fluffy cloud. The sea reminded him of swimming in the lake near his home, hand in hand with his beautiful wife.
Breathing heavily, he spun around in the air. Was there nowhere he could go to get away from her?
Suddenly, a thought struck him. Another planet. Surely there wouldn't be any trace of Chi Chi in the far depths of space?
Placing two fingers on his forehead, he frowned in concentration and searched for the closest planet he knew of. When he found the ki belonging to the natives of Yardrat, he used his instant transmission, leaving Earth far behind.
Goku lasted only five minutes on Yardrat. As soon as he remembered why he had been on Yardrat before- training instead of going straight home to his wife after beating Frieza- he had to leave. He didn't want to think of any reasons why Chi Chi would have chosen another guy over him.
Next, Goku chose New Namek. He was sure that there wouldn't be anything offensive there, and the locals would be nice enough to live around. Using instant transmission once again, he was on the green planet in a flash. The terrain didn't really look like that on Earth, and he breathed a sigh of relief. Here, he could relax, without worrying about relationships. He'd even be able to pretend like nothing had ever happened.
"Goku? Is that you?" came a familiar voice, and Goku turned to see Muri, the Namek elder, walking towards him.
"Oh, Hi!" Goku said, trying to sound as normal as possible. Unfortunately, he couldn't get rid of the strain in his voice, and his accompanying smile came out more like a grimace.
"Is there something wrong, son? You did beat Buu, didn't you?" the Namek asked, worry etched on his face.
"Oh yeah, that's taken care of," Goku replied, nodding his head a little too much, and breathing a little too heavily.
"Hmm, well its nice to have visitors here," Muri said, choosing not to comment any further on Goku's strange behaviour. "It was good to see Dende again after so long, it would have been, what, seven Earth years, if I'm right, since you took him to Earth."
Goku's face contorted in horror. Seven Earth years was how long he had been dead for, long enough for Chi Chi to decide she wanted a different man. Shaking, he brought his fingers to his forehead once more. It seemed he couldn't escape from the reality, no matter how far he traveled.
Not wanting to break down in front of a bunch of Namekians, Goku used instant transmission one last time, to bring him to a secluded forest area on Earth.
Collapsing on the ground in a crumpled heap, Goku howled as he realised just how foolish he had been. He should have returned to Earth to be with his family straight after Cell. Enemies showed up regardless of whether he was there or not, it had been arrogant and stupid to assume that people only came after him.
Worst of all, he had missed out on the first seven years of his son's life, and hadn't given much thought to how his decision would have affected others. Did Chi Chi feel like this when she found out he wasn't coming back? So cold, and so alone?
Right now, Goku felt like the only person he needed was his wife, and yet she was the only person he couldn't have.
"I'm not married to you anymore." Her words echoed through his head, over and over again. How could he have been so stupid? Why couldn't she see how much he loved her? How much he needed her?
Great sobs racked through his body, and he curled himself tight into a ball. This pain was worse than death, and there was no escape from it. Unable to do anything else, Goku cried himself to sleep on the quiet forest floor.
***
Gohan paced back and forth across the living room of their swanky Satan City home. He was worried about his father, who's ki, since leaving the lookout, had been erratic, then disappeared entirely, before returning to some remote region in the south.
What bothered Gohan the most was that there was nothing he could do to help. He couldn't tell his dad that everything would be okay, and this wasn't a situation that could be fixed.
Worst of all, Gohan felt guilty, because he liked Tom, and had supported his mother's remarriage. Now, he felt like he had betrayed his own father.
He should have known this would happen, Gohan thought, as he walked across the room once more. But you know dad's not like that, he would never consider anything like this, he's too innocent.
That was the real problem, Gohan concluded. Goku Son was just too naïve for his own good, and for once life wouldn't go his way. Sighing, Gohan shook his head, and went to find his mother.
"I'm going to go see dad," Gohan told his mum, who was currently cooking dinner, "I'm worried about him."
Chi Chi merely nodded, not trusting herself to speak in case her voice cracked. She felt terrible for Goku, but at the same time couldn't help thinking he deserved it. So many times before, she had been the one left alone. Didn't he realise that?
***
Gohan landed quietly next to the sleeping form of his father. In the dappled light of the late afternoon, Gohan could see the silver lines of dried tears that adorned his father's face, and felt his chest tighten in pain. He hated seeing his dad this way.
Slowly, he sat down beside his dad, and gently stroked the black locks that fell across his father's forehead. He wasn't sure if it was a good idea to wake up his dad or not, but he needed to talk to him sometime.
"Mmmph," Goku mumbled as he began to stir, his eyes squeezing shut in reaction to the sunlight that filtered through the trees.
"Hey dad," Gohan said softly, leaning over his father, "how are you feeling?"
Goku blinked, rubbing a hand over his face. The first thing he noticed was that he was cold, and smelt terrible, like he had been training all day and had not bothered to shower. Slowly, as he looked up at his son, the memories of the day came back.
"Oh," he groaned, closing his eyes as if that would make all his problems go away, "Oh shit." Quickly realizing that the sick feeling in his stomach was actually going to manifest itself physically, he barely had time to lean over before the contents of his stomach splattered onto the ground.
"Oh no, dad!" Gohan exclaimed, quickly wrapping his arms around Goku and helping him to sit up once he was finished. "It's okay dad, I'm here for you," he murmured, patting the older Saiyan on the back, "we're all here for you."
"Why?" Goku asked, looking at his son, "doesn't she know I love her?"
"Of course she does, dad," Gohan replied quietly, "but she was lonely. Really, really lonely. Mum was like an empty shell after you died, and it was only after she met Tom that she started to get a bit better."
"Tom!" Goku snorted, his hurt quickly turning to anger, "what kind of name is that? What the hell does he do anyway? He looked so… so… so weak!"
Gohan resisted the urge to smile at his father's comment, which seemed more like something Vegeta would say, than the usually pleasant Goku. "He's an accountant, dad. He… we… we live in Satan City now. We moved after they got married, the house at Mt Paozu is empty at the moment… Bulma said she'd buy the property off mum on your behalf, so you can go back and live there. They can't just give you back the title to the land, 'cause according to the records, you're dead, y'know."
"I don't… I don't care about property, Gohan," Goku said solemnly, "I care about your mother. She's my wife dammit!"
"Dad," Gohan said, frowning. There really wasn't any nice was to put it, "you're not her husband anymore. When you died, your marriage was absolved. That's why when you get married, the vows say 'til death do us part', you get parted when you die. Normal people don't come back to life."
"But I'm not normal!" Goku retorted, "I'm a fighter! I've saved the planet hundreds of times! And she knew I could come back!"
"No she didn't!" Gohan replied, growing angry at his father's selfishness, "you said you weren't going to come back! You said you didn't want to! You chose to leave us. Don't you realise how much you hurt mum when you did that?"
"I only wanted to train for a few years!" Goku yelled, trying to explain not only to Gohan, but also to himself, "I… I was planning to come back eventually!"
"Yeah, well that's great, dad. Just leave your family for a few years, because that's perfectly acceptable behavior for someone that's meant to be the head of the household. Go away and have your fun, and then just come back expecting everyone to be ecstatic about your return. What kind of fantasy are you living in?"
Goku looked away, his shoulders slumping under the torn uniform he wore. "I… I don't know," he mumbled after a pause, "I'm an idiot."
"You just… don't think about things enough," Gohan said softly, rubbing his father's back, "but we love you anyway."
"Do you wish I was still dead?" Goku whispered.
"No!" Gohan replied, shocked, "Why would you even think that? I love you dad. I've really missed you."
"I missed you too, son. I missed everyone. I just… I didn't think this would happen."
"I know. There's always things you would do differently, in hindsight. Like with Cell… if I had have known that he would go and blow himself up, I would have never toyed around with him. If only I finished him off quicker, then you would have never died in the first place. It's all my fault, really."
Goku looked at his son, shocked by what he had just heard. "You… you don't actually think that, do you? Gohan, you saved the world! You were only eleven! You can't blame yourself for my death, it's not your fault at all."
"It's not?" Gohan questioned bitterly, "I think it is. But like I said, everyone makes mistakes. Now we just have to live with the outcomes."
Goku sighed, leaning on his son for support. "I'm sorry," he whispered softly, "I've always had trouble balancing family life with being a hero."
"I know dad," Gohan murmured back, "sometimes I think our strength is more a curse than a blessing. Every time trouble happens, we have to help. If we don't, we're cowards. But if we do help… we risk our lives. And for what? So some other guy can come along and take all the credit? But we have to help, don't we?"
"Yeah, we have to help when people need us. It's all I've ever done, my entire life. I don't know how to do anything else. I'm not an accountant."
This time it was Gohan's turn to snort. "I'd rather have a Super Saiyan than an accountant for a dad, any day," he told his father honestly, nudging him in the side. "You're pretty cool, y'know."
The father and son continued to talk, until the sun had long sunk below the horizon. Gohan told his father more about Videl, and they laughed together over the fact that she blackmailed Gohan into entering the tournament.
"She sounds like trouble," Goku laughed, patting his son on the back, "but I'm sure you can handle her."
"Mmph, I… I like her, but I don't know what to do now," Gohan finally admitted.
"Just keep hanging out with her," Goku advised, "it'll work out for you, don't worry."
Gohan nodded, and the pair fell silent once more. Gohan looked up at the sky, a frown plastered on his face. He knew his mother would be worried about him, but he was reluctant to leave his dad.
"You've gotta go," Goku said, breaking the silence, "your mother will be worried."
"Yeah," Gohan sighed. "Look, I brought you some capsules," he said, digging into his backpack for the right container, "there's some full of food, and a little capsule house too. And there's one full of clothes- a few of my t-shirts and stuff, and two gi for you to wear. All of your old clothes are still at Mt Paozu, so when you go back there…"
"I won't be going back to Mt Paozu," Goku cut in, "I… I don't think I could handle being in that house. I'll take the capsules, though. Thanks for bringing them, you sure are smart."
"It's the least I could do, dad. Where are you going to go, then?"
"I don't know," Goku said, standing up and pulling his son to his feet, "when I was a kid, I just traveled around for years at a time. I think I'll do that again."
"Can… can Goten and I come and see you? Would you mind?"
"Of course you two can," Goku said, pulling his son into a hug, "just look for my ki, and you'll find me."
With nothing else to say, Gohan flew off in the direction of his city home. Watching his son's form disappear, Goku sighed as he began to accept his new fate. Turning back to the forest, he began to search for a place where he could settle down for the night.
Alone.
A/N: Thanks to everyone who reviewed the first chapter! I really appreciate it :)
Also, in the last A/N I said Chi Chi and Tom lived in Orange Star City… I meant Satan City (well, it's the same thing)…it's 'cause I'm writing another story in the mirai timeline where it's still Orange Star City rather than being renamed after Hurcule… all you need to know is that it's the same city that Gohan goes to high school in.
Oh, and I have nothing against accountants (I even studied it at school), I just needed to give Tom a job that was the complete opposite to a martial artist, and that seemed to suit well.
