A/N: Check my profile for any info that is very IMPORTANT about this parody, thank you. Ok, go, be free, read and review plz!
Chapter 2:
Cough-A-Fight and Still Lost
(Previously...in "Harry Potter and The Curse of The Evil Ring That Voldemort's Cousin Owned" author pants...)
CRASH!
Yes, there was a crash! Of bodies! Of 2 groups! This is where it gets interesting, ladies and gentlemen!
Jack jumped up to his feet, taking out his sword as soon as possible. "Stop it right there!"
Harry fumbled to his feet too, taking out his wand to confront whoever had come across his path.
Jack and Will stared at the thin wand in Harry's hand, and laughed.
"Did you see that?" Will said as he laughed.
"He's trying to defend himself with a stick! HAHAHAHAHAHA!" he found it very hilarious. And any muggle would. Except these were the hottest muggles around, the only muggles hot enough, the bishiest, the cutest, the hottest, the handsomest, the-...(I have to buy myself a thesaurus! Anyways, back to the original story...)
Harry said nothing, for anything that was passing through his mind was insults and curses that would make any sailor blush (Hey, this is a PG-13 story, best make it suitable for the audience! That includes some good stuff later! ). Harry waved his wand, knocking Will out with a spell.
Jack stopped laughing and looked at his companion that was now on the ground. "What the-"
Harry aimed his wand at Jack, and shouted "Expelliarmus!"
Jack's sword flew off his hand, leaving the charming pirate bewildered. "I didn't see that one coming..." he admitted to himself. Clearly, he'd have had a bottle of rum before coming to the Forest (But who cares! He's even cuter when he's drunk! stripping down
Whoa, there! Stop right there!
Who're you?
Your other self. Yeah, typing at 12: 46 am does give you split personalities but that's besides the point! You can't strip when there's a story going on! And you can't type as so many graphics.
mumblemumble fine. Back to the story)
"Ugh, my head" groaned Will as he sat up.
Harry wasn't done yet. "Wingardium Leviosa!" (Author claps, knowing she spelled a spell right. Woot! I'm a real HP fan! Yay me!)
Will was suddenly levitated from the ground, and he hovered in midair. Will looked around him, finding he was no longer on the Forest ground, but in midair. "Hey...I can see our ship from here!" he said, for the sake of the "I can see my house from here" classic line.
Jack looked at Harry, and at Will, and at the stick in Harry's hand. He seemed to be pondering these things and threading them together to form a realistic conclusion "I'm starting to think the boy's a wizard..." And this answer just assured the author that the Captain did in fact drank a bottle of rum, or maybe it's just because his brains were fried in the sun while his stay in that godforsaken spit of land for 3 days. (hey, either way, he's still cute! )
xHPx
Meanwhile, with our dear two hobbits, Frodo and Sam, the argument still went on as professionally and more maturely possible...
"Yu uh!"
"Nu uh!"
"Yu uh!"
"Nu uh!"
"Yu uh!"
"Nu uh!"
"Yu uh!"
"Nu uh!"
Ok, so not so professionally or as mature as possible...
xHPx
Back at the Evil Layer, our captive had decided that if she couldn't do anything to get out of her cell and run to freedom, she'd annoy the heck outa her captor!
"Stop talking prisoner!" Voldemort shouted out.
"I won't 'til you let me go!" Elizabeth shouted back, rattling the cell bars again to annoy him even more.
xHPx
Back with our two groups that had just found each other, there was some questions they'd want answered.
"Ooh, ooh!" Hermione danced in tiptoes, her hand up in the air as if she wanted to answer a question the teacher had asked. Stupid show off, know-it-all. "Harry, he's a pirate!"
"How do you know?" asked Ron
"I-"
"Lemme guess..." Harry interrupted "You read about them"
Hermione turned away from him, crossing her arms "Don't hate me cause I'm smart" But the thing is, how can we not hate her! Stupid smarty-pants! Gets jealous if there's someone smarter than her!
Jack had had enough of this. Having a kid outbest you did kinda hurt your dignity. But then again, I don't think there was dignity left on him...But of course, he's still cute! "Alright, move it chipmunks, I'm in search of something valuable"
Hermione did her 'I know, I know' tiptoe dance again "Ooh, ooh, Is it a treasure chest?"
"No, it's a powerful ring" answered Jack
Hermione looked crestfallen "Oh, uh-...I-I knew that..." riiight she knew that. She just doesn't want to look dumb like any normal person! (Yea so I'm being biased! So sue me:-P)
"Suuure" Ron voiced the Author's thoughts.
Harry stepped up, and growled at the pirate "Back off Seagull! That ring is ours!"
Jack also stepped up "It's SPARROW you pothead!"
"Yea!" Will supported Jack "Back off um...frog eyes!"
Jack glanced at Will, in his 'Don't do that' expression "Will? Leave the insults to me, okay?"
Will shrugged off "I'm just trying t be more pirate-y" and also, the good insults had been taken by Jack with the 'pothead' thing, that would make any HP fan angry, if it wasn't that he was soooo cute.
Harry and Ron glanced at each other, and coughed something that sounded so familiar to "Loser"
Will blinked, apparently had not caught what they'd tried to say "Do you need a cough drop?"
Harry and Ron continued their fake coughing "(cough)Idiot(cough)"
Hermione joined in, with an insult that included everyone below her. "(cough)morons(cough)"
Jack didn't stay behind "(cough)dimwits(cough)"
Harry and Ron responded "(cough)stupid(cough)"
Ron felt a prickle inside his nose and- "Achwooooh!"
Jack coughed next, "(cough)ketzuntai(cough)"
"(cough)thankyou(cough)"
"(cough)noproblem(cough)"
Yes, guys can be such weirdos. (By the way, a big Hello to the HP weirdos! AWOOOOOOOOO! CALL OF THE HP WEIRDOS! From your dear Chief Weirdo, XmischiefX)
Let's flip to our other duet who's still LOST.
"Yu uh!"
"Nu uh!"
"Yu uh!"
"Nu uh!"
"Yu uh!"
"Nu uh!"
"Yu uh!"
"Nu uh!"
"Yu uh!"
"Nu uh!"
"Yu uh!"
"Nu uh!"
As I said before: Guys can be such weirdos.
xHPx
Voldemort couldn't take it anymore, he was being annoyed to death! (A big Hello to Evie2, her stories are so rockin cool! And beware of the socks! Ha, I luv those socks! But I love Sirius more, heheh. Hi Evie2 and congrats! Your stories are hilarious! Huggles!) "DAMMIT! WHY WON'T SHE SHUT UP!" No, he wasn't talking about the author, for he knows that if you insult or piss an author out, she'll hunt you down and make your life miserable.
Saphira glanced over at her supposed brother "Have you tried this...HEY! YOU WITH THE FACE! SHUT YOUR PIEHOLE!"
Pleasant silence.
Elizabeth blinked "..."
"Ya happy now?" Saphira said to his, again, "supposed" brother.
Voldemort said nothing, but only sulked.
A/N: tan taraaaaaan.
What will happen? Will Elizabeth ever stay quiet?(guess so) Will Sam and Frodo ever stop arguing? Will smeagol ever die from eating poisoned meat? (shakes bottle of black liquidsure he will, hehehe)
Find out next week! on the next episode! Sry, no preview!
