Chapter 2 – Talk to Me

Thursday, November 5th, 2020

Gabi's POV

I couldn't focus on basketball with Troy and I not talking. He sent me that one text and I gave him space. I knew that he needed that time because I dropped a huge bombshell on him. I hadn't heard from Grey or Lauren since that night. I can only assume they were there for Troy. I just hoped that Troy would let me explain. I just hope that he would let me talk to him because I missed him. I knew that there was no going back on our relationship. He was never going to forgive me, there was just no way.

"Montez!" Coach P snapped as I missed another shot during the drill and I just shook my head. "I'm sorry," I said as I wiped the sweat from my face. "I am just…distracted," I muttered, and Coach P shook her head back and forth. "You are more than distracted. You haven't been able to focus in days." She remarked, "Hell, Gabi, you haven't been able to focus most of this season. What is the matter? You are my star player."

The lump grew in my throat and I just shrugged my shoulders as I didn't want to talk to anybody here about this. I would tell Coach P but I couldn't say it with everybody looking right at me. The entire team had their eyes on me and only one girl knew: Brooke. Her eyes were stuck on me with wide saucers. Her face scared that I was about to spill right here in front of everybody, but I couldn't, and I wouldn't. "Come with me," Coach P said, and I looked down as I followed her to her office. Tears were full in my eyes as she walked into her office and I followed.

"Gabi," she said softly, and I knew that she was concerned. I was always focused on basketball. The tears flowed freely down my face as she knew this wasn't like me. Her arms circled me in and she hugged me close to her body. "What happened?" she asked, and I tried to find the words, but I was lost. My eyes looked up at her and she had me sit down while she sat on the edge of her desk. Taking several deep breaths, I finally stopped my tears as my eyes took her in.

"Last May, I found out I was pregnant," I told her quietly and her body stilled. Coach P shocked into silence as she stared at me. "I had an abortion and I never told anybody. I didn't tell Troy, I didn't tell my parents, I didn't even tell my best friend. I then lashed out at Troy all summer. We argued about his job, but I only ever started that fight because I didn't want him to know about abortion. I tried to push him away, but he wouldn't let me. He constantly was there, even when I tried to break-up with him. I finally snapped the other night and told him, and he hasn't talked to me since. I don't know," I cried again as Coach P didn't say anything for the longest time.

"Oh Gabi," she finally sat down on the other side of me while she rubbed my back. My eyes closing from the weight of the world on my shoulders. "You shouldn't have had to do that by yourself." She told me quietly and I shook my head. "I couldn't have told Troy because he would have hated me for aborting his baby. He would have wanted me to keep it. He just graduated. I couldn't tell my dad because he would have killed Troy alive. I couldn't tell you because then you would have been disappointed. I didn't want to start any rumors, so I did it without anybody knowing." Coach P shook her head, "Gabi, I have always told you and every single girl on this team to just come to talk to me."

I bit down on my lip, "I know, I know, I wanted too. I just…I didn't want to start anything." Coach P shook her head and I could see her eyes filling with something. "You need to talk to Troy before you can get back on the court. You are distracted because he knows, and you don't know how he is reacting to the news. What did he say to you?" she asked, and I scratched my knee with my finger as my eyes were trained on one singular spot. "When I told him? Nothing." I took a deep breath before I met her eyes again. "He was surprised. He was holding my hand and the moment I said it he let go of me and stumbled backwards away from me. He didn't know what to say." I paused as I thought back to the moment. How his blue eyes were instantly filled with shock and then quickly after hurt. How his jaw stiffened and his whole body was rigid.

"Honey, you dropped a bombshell on him." Coach P told me quietly, "How did you expect him to react?" I shrugged, "I never planned on telling him. He was just trying his damn hardest to keep me around and I don't deserve him. He deserves somebody who doesn't abort his baby, he deserves somebody who doesn't lie to him, he deserves so much more." Coach P shook her head back and forth, "No, you have to let him decide all of those things. This is going to eat at you until you talk to him." Her face was sincere, and I didn't see any disappointment or hurt that I hid it from her as well, but she just wanted what was best for me.

"I texted him later that night to just…to just tell him that I missed him." I said quietly, "He texted me back the next morning that he just needed a few days of space and that he needed to wrap his mind around everything. I told him on Monday and it's Friday." I replied quietly causing Coach P to rub my back again. "You need to give him that time. He deserves it but for your sake on the basketball court, I hope you two talk soon." I inhaled as I rubbed my face. "I hate that I did it to him, but I had to do it for me. I had to."

Coach P didn't say anything for a minute before she let off a little smile, "Gabi, Troy loves you. Like, really loves you." She told me, "I think if you would have just talked to him then he might have understood from the very beginning. I'm assuming basketball played into your decision along with medical school. I understand both things probably were big factors and I think Troy would have understood that." I didn't say anything as I tugged on my basketball shorts. "How about you go take a shower and be done for the day? You look like you need a mental break." I just nodded as she stood up. "I'm not disappointed in you, Gabi. I just wish you would have come to me. I wish I could have been there for you."

Biting down on my lip I just nodded while she walked towards the door. I sat here for a few moments before I stood up and I walked in the locker room, but I knew exactly where I needed to go. There was only one place I could go on a day like today.


Monday, May 4th, 2020

Gabi's POV

"Brooke," I said her name loudly and she turned around to look at me with wide eyes. "Yea?" she asked in return and I looked around before I pulled her towards the back of the locker room. "I need you to help me with something but what I am about to tell you, can't go anywhere but between you and me." I told her quietly and she just nodded her head. "Promise me, Brooke. If this comes out, I will know it came from you because you are the only person I am telling." She again just nodded her head as I sucked in a deep breath.

It had been on my mind all weekend. I was avoiding Troy to the best of my abilities until it was taken care of because once it was then I didn't feel like I was lying. Afterward,s it was denial, what pregnancy? There never was one.

"Gabi are you okay?" I quickly nodded, "Yes, I just…I need you to drive me to planned parenthood and back, okay? I just…" her jaw dropped open and she them clamped it shut within seconds. I shook my head because I couldn't let her say the words. "Okay, when?" she finally managed to say, and I let out a large sigh. "I don't have any finals on Thursday, do you think you could do it that day?" she nodded again, "Yes, I can." I swallowed against the growing lump in my throat and I nodded.

"Yes, I uh…thank you. If you need my help with anything afterwards then I am here for you." She smiled, "I'm sorry," she spoke, and I nodded, "I'm sorry, too." She chewed on her lip and I tried to find words, but they were all stuck. I was stuck. I couldn't believe I was pregnant. I had taken several more tests and they all came back positive. I was terrified. "I'll see you Thursday," she said, and I nodded while she disappeared. My gut tightened with regret and disappointment for myself.

I just knew that this wasn't the time for a baby. Troy wasn't ready, and I wasn't ready. This was a losing situation that we were both in. A wave of nausea kicked in and I doubled over trying to hold it back. The door to the locker room opened and I bolted upright. "Gabs? Are you in here?" I turned to see Troy standing in the doorway with a look towards me. A look of worry etching in his face and I swallowed down on my panic. "Hi!" I said a little too loudly and he turned his head.

"Hi, you okay?" I nodded, and I walked over to wrap my arms around his neck. "I missed you," I whispered kissing his jaw. He smiled, "I've missed you, too. I was coming to see if you wanted to go to the basketball court for a bit? I need a stress relief after my last final." I nodded my head, "Yea, just give me a minute okay?" he nodded, and he kissed me again. His blue eyes hovered over my face after he pulled back as if he was looking for all the answers.

I prayed that he couldn't see that I wasn't telling him something. I was hoping that he couldn't see that I was afraid. I was hoping that he couldn't see that I was pregnant with his child. I could only hope that my eyes didn't betray me. He kissed my forehead, "You sure you're okay?" he asked softly, and I just nodded, "Yes, I am okay." I promised as I squeezed his wrist softly. He nodded, "I'll wait for you outside." I thanked him and the moment he left, I was on my knees in the bathroom.

Fuck.


Troy's POV

Friday, November 6th, 2020

My eyes stared at the ceiling as I had been a zombie since the moment, she told me. I couldn't fight though all of my emotions that had been running through my brain. I couldn't figure everything out and I knew I needed to talk to her, but I was just…confused. The fan circled the ceiling and after a few moments, I finally twisted over planted my feet on the ground. I needed to go to work today but I just didn't have the energy to do it.

My elbows rested on my thighs as I rubbed the back of my neck. The tension was just folded underneath and I continued to rub it while trying to motivate myself. Everybody saw through me this week that I was struggling. They were asking me to go out after work, I said yes, and then they were trying to get me to talk but I just drowned more alcohol instead. The buzz in the back of my head told me that I drank too much last night, but I didn't care.

The vibration next to me caused me to look up and I reached for my phone. I pulled the phone up to my ear as I answered it, "Hey honey, did I catch you before work?" my mom's chipper voice entered my ear as I glanced at the clock. It would only be 4 in the morning in Oregon. What in the fuck was she doing awake and this chipper? "Mom, what are you doing awake?" I grumbled as I pushed off my feet and into my bathroom that was attached to my bedroom.

"I was awake and thought about you. I just wondered what you were up to lately, I haven't heard from you in a few days." I sighed as I grabbed a towel for a shower and I rubbed my temples after I hung it. "I am okay." I told her, and she didn't say anything for a few moments, "What's wrong? Are you and Gabi still fighting?" I hummed with odd laughter and she wanted to say something. She knew I wasn't going to tell her this morning, but I also knew she was interested in my odd response.

"I'm sorry." She said softly, "Do you know…" I cut her off, "I have to get ready for work mom, I love you. I'll call you soon." My mom let out a long sigh, "Don't make me fly all the way out there, Troy." I chewed on my lip and I just nodded, "Okay, I'll call you tomorrow, okay?" she sighed, "Okay, I love you."

"I love you, too." I hung up as my head was throbbing. I stripped my clothes and stepped into the warm shower. My eyes closing from the warmth surrounding my body. I just wanted to my girlfriend to be in my bed with me every single morning. I just wanted her to wrap her arms around me every single night. I just wanted her. Chewing my lip, I tried to shake all my thoughts of her as I planned on finding her tonight. I had to talk to her. It was eating at me alive.

Grey and Lauren were constantly checking in. Lauren was devastated when she found out about Gabi. She was angry with her for lying and not trusting Lauren with such a big piece of information. I wasn't angry too much with her. I was just disappointed and really sad. Not sad that I could have been a father but sad because she didn't trust me either. I would think after almost three years that she would trust me with that information. That I would judge her for her choice and that I would have supported her. It made me sad.

I shut my shower off and took my towel. I wrapped it around my waist as there was a knock on my door. I groaned as I was just trying to get my ass to work on time. I walked to the door and swung it open to see that brown-haired girl with those chocolate brown eyes staring back at me. Her eyes were red-rimmed, and she looked so skinny. She was drowning in a pair of leggings with a large sweatshirt that appeared to be mine. Her hair was tied in a knot on the top of her head. Neither of us said a word to each other as she hiccupped. She had been crying. My heart softened, and I tilted my head down, "I have to go to work, Gabs," I said quietly, and she bit on her lip turning her head away.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, and I knew she wasn't sorry for showing up today but for everything. I only nodded, "I know. I was going to call you after work today, so we could talk. I'm ready." Her brown eyes met mine and I looked down at my lack of clothes. "Come in," I told her, and she nodded as she walked into the apartment. "I'll be right back," I said, and she just sat down as I went in pulling on a pair of jeans with a Durham Bulls t-shirt. Casual Friday's were my favorite.

I grabbed my tennis shoes and I went back out as Gabi let her eyes trail my body. I grimaced because I missed her in many different ways and sexually was definitely one of them. "Coach P said I couldn't practice until I talked to you because I can't focus. I can't play. I am a mess." Her voice was barely above a whisper and a straight shot to my heart. I knew she was hurting. I knew this was hard for her. Yet, I made no moves any earlier. My chest rose and fell with hurt as I went over towards her.

I sat down on the other side of the couch and I rested my elbows on my knees. I wasn't sure what to say right now because I had to go to work and I couldn't have a long conversation with her. I needed coffee if I was going to make it through this morning. Biting down on my lip, I sighed, "Tell Coach P you'll be ready to go tomorrow. If that's all you need from me." I pushed off the couch and she let out another cry. A straight shot to my heart as I closed my eyes. That sound caused my whole body to hurt. "That's not all I need from you. I…" she tried to stop the sob with her hand over her mouth. "I need you, too." I tried to hold back a chuckle, but it escaped.

Twisting around I faced her to see that she was destroyed on the inside. She was crying into her hands and she looked at me. I knew she was telling the truth, but I also knew that I deserved better than that. "I wish you would have needed me 6 months ago." I didn't wait long after that before I grabbed my shoes and my backpack before leaving.


Gabi's POV

I deserved that comment. Whole heartedly I deserved that comment. I should have needed him six months ago. I should have done a lot of things different, but I couldn't. A sob broke through my voice as the door slammed shut and I buried my face against my hands. I don't know why I came here this morning. I wasn't sleeping. I wasn't eating, and I knew I just needed to talk to Troy. I guess I forgot that he had a job that demanded his attention.

Just like I had school work that needed my attention. I just couldn't focus or breath. I was lost. I missed him. I was really glad that he knew now so that I didn't have to hide it anymore. I just needed him to end it so that I could move forward. That I could deal with my heartbreak. I rubbed my eyes as I knew Lauren was angry with me. Grey was on Troy's side. I was just stuck. My eyes took in Troy's apartment as the only time I had truly been here was for sex and to leave.

I treated Troy like complete shit for months. There was no way that he could ever actually love me again. My lips pressed together, and I exhaled before I stood up. I had a class in an hour and I had to focus. I was in medical school and a really good one at that. I interviewed at three different places, but I was pretty sure Coach P pulled some strings. Not that I didn't deserve it, but I was sure that was one of the reasons. We only had a handful of clinicals and my professors were really good about working around my schedule. I missed a few practices, but it was working out.

My body sagged with defeat as I walked back to my apartment as I walked here this morning. I pushed open the door and I found my backpack and cell phone. I debated about sending Troy a text message, but I was going to leave him alone. He was probably really angry that I showed up this early in the morning, but I just didn't know what else to do. My phone buzzed, and I quickly picked it up to only see Brooke calling me.

She had become a closer friend since that day and I had been showing her a lot more with basketball as a thanks for helping me. "Hi," I answered, and she sighed, "How are you?" she asked, and I glanced around, "I'm okay. I wish Troy and I had time to talk but he's been working, and he wasn't ready a few days ago." I told her, and Brooke sighed, "I'm sorry." She spoke softly, "I wish that I could be better help." I smiled softly, "Brooke, you've kept a really big secret for me. I still need it to stay between us on the basketball team, but Coach knows. Troy knows."

"I'm glad. You weren't yourself after that and I think Troy knowing will help." I sighed, "I'm not sure that I will ever be able to actually be myself again. That changed me. I feel guilty all of the time." I spoke, and Brooke barely said anything as what was there to say. "Do you want to get drinks tonight?" she asked. My eyes looked at the wall to see that it was Friday. Every Friday I had a standing date with Troy unless we had a game or were going to be away for a tournament.

Friday night Troy would always show up to the court and would bring coffee. It was always different every single week. It was another safe period in our relationship. After dark and Friday nights were the only times where I didn't get mad at him and he didn't ask any questions. We were just together. I think those times saved our relationship but there was no returning to that most likely, but I would show up tonight. I had too. I knew Troy wanted to talk tonight.

"I can't tonight." I told her after a moment and she sighed, "Friday night, yes, I remember." I just nodded my head not knowing what else to say. "You can do it, Gabi. I always thought that Troy would understand but I will also always support your decision. It was yours to make." My lip was raw from the constant chewing and I just nodded my head, "I get it. I'll hopefully talk to him tonight." Making my way through campus I sighed, "Brooke, maybe we can get coffee tomorrow and talk about my newly single life."

Brooke didn't say anything for a few moments before she had her words of advice, "Have some hope, Gabi. He loves you."

I just snorted. Troy Bolton may love me, but he wasn't a saint. I would be angry if he hid something like that from me. Furious. I made it even worse blaming him for taking a job that I knew was good for him and good for everything. Yet, I yelled at him. I belittled him. I made him think so much worse than it actually was. He still showed up to expo games, scrimmages, and our first game. He was so excited to watch me this year and I was robbing him that chance.

I exhaled. Fuck this.


Troy's POV

I collapsed into my chair after work that was a typical boring day. My eyes stared at the clock as Gabi didn't call me afterwards and she didn't send a text, but I knew I hurt her with that one comment. I knew she also slightly deserved it. Pushing onto my feet, I went to change into a pair of shorts with a Duke t-shirt. I slid on my tennis shoes while I picked up a basketball. I walked down the apartment steps as I did my regular Friday routine.

I would walk to Rents and then I would walk to the basketball court. I have done it every single Friday since I graduated and some Friday's she would show up and we would play. Some Friday's she wouldn't show up at all. Some Friday's we just sit on the court with each other. There never was a lot of talking but I figured that would change today. Rolling my lips together I tilted my head back as I walked the sidewalk.

Pulling my phone out, I called Grey. "Hey man," I sighed, "I just don't know what to say to her. She showed up at my place this morning and I didn't know what to say. I have never had a moment with Gabi where I didn't know what to say. From the moment we met, we have constantly been able to talk with each other. We may have been arguing but we knew always knew how to talk with each other." Grey sighed from the other end of the phone as he had a lot of these phone calls since that night.

"Are you going to the court?" I kicked a rock as I tried to talk myself out of it, but I wasn't able too. "Yes," I said stubbornly. "Just play basketball for a little bit and then maybe the conversation will just happen. She hasn't reached out to me or Lauren." I chewed on my lip, "I feel bad in a way that I should have picked up on it." I told him honestly as I neared in on Rents. "I should have saw the change. It happened right around graduation though with my job. There was a lot of change, but I should have seen it."

"Do not beat yourself up over this," Grey warned. "She kept it from you."

"I know," I told him, "I honestly know but I also love her. I also know she was probably scared. I know that she has a lot going on right now and what…for her to be six months pregnant? No way that would have been good. I'm just hurt that she didn't trust me enough to allow me to know the information. To trust her judgement. To be there for her."

"I think you just need to tell her that. It's okay if you take her back, Troy. Nobody is expecting you to turn her away. Yes, she lied to you. Yes, she probably has a story. Yes, she is absolutely heartbroken over the situation. I think you need to know the whole story before you can make a final decision." I inhaled and just nodded my head, "I will. I will try to do it tonight." I opened the door to Rents as I worked here all through college in my spare time. I loved it. I still loved it.

I ordered two coffees and when Alyssa slid me my coffees, I thanked her, and I backed away. I continued to the court in silence trying to process everything. When I got to the court she was already sitting there. I sighed as I just went to sit next to her. I handed her the cup of coffee and she thanked me with a sad nod. We both just stared at the sky ahead because the small talk wasn't appropriate. "I can't do this here." She finally said, and I tilted my head towards her.

"Why?" I asked her, and she swallowed hard. "I can't have this conversation here. This place is all of the goodmemories of us. This place was where we first kissed. This place is where I fell in love with you. This is my safe place with you. Just like our indoor court and Rents. Those places are safe with only good memories and if we have this conversation here then this will no longer hold just good memories. I want only good memories here." The tears were evident in her voice and I released a heavy breath. "I just want you to talk to me, B." she buried her face into her knees. My jaw tightened as I took a sip of coffee myself. I had no interest in playing basketball today. I had no interest in doing anything that figuring out where everything in our relationship went wrong when I felt like it was so right.

"How about we go back to my apartment. We can hash it out there." I told her, and she exhaled heavily before lifting her head up to look at me. "Can we sit here just a little bit longer as us? I don't know what you want to say to me, I know you have to hate me and don't want to continue this, but I just want ten more minutes of us sitting right here where I first loved you." Her words tore through my chest because I couldn't hate her. I could never hate her. That wasn't possible because I loved her too damn much. No, I wasn't sure where this conversation would take us. I didn't want our relationship to end but she was going to have to make me a lot of promises. My eyes looked over at her and she was still in the same clothes as this morning. Her hair braided back though with a different head band.

"I just want to clarify, that I don't hate you. I could never hate you, Gabi. I'm upset, I'm hurt, and I'm disappointed but I am not angry, and I don't hate you." She turned her head to catch a glimpse of my eyes. Her brown eyes softened for a moment and she just turned to look at the world again. "How are you not angry?" she whispered quietly, and I sighed as I picked at the weeds growing in our court. My fingers carefully taking care of each little strand. I rolled the blades between my fingers and sighed. "At first, I was angry. I might still have a little anger but that isn't what is feeding my emotions. Look, you don't want to talk about this here and explaining all of that will go into that." She only nodded her head in understanding that if I started, I wasn't going to stop talking.

"You know, this court," she paused, "Has seen a lot of things between us. The innocent beginning, the kissing, the constant need to be with each other, the rivalry, the love, the arguments. This one court has seen it all. I can come here, and I can feel you with me. I love it. I love that we have this one place that almost nobody else goes to because that makes it special to just us." My eyes were heavy as I thought of her words. She shook her head with a tiny smile, "This is just one thing I don't want this court to see."

She stood up slowly and I followed her as she picked up my things and we both slowly began to walk with each other. Our strides fell in sync with each other as we were both quiet until she finally decided to talk. "I think I could handle angry," Gabi said softly as we began to near my apartment, "I think angry was the emotion I prepared myself most for. The disappointment is the one I am going to have the hardest time to swallow because you know I hate disappointing. I know you have your reasons and I am sure you will tell me all of them but…" I wasn't sure where she was going with this, but I could see the fear in her eyes. The fear that she was about to lose absolutely everything.

"But what?" I asked her, my voice on edge, "But I need you to know that I love you and that I am so fucking sorry for everything. I feel like that's the best way to start but you have to voice everything, and I will tell you everything." I just nodded stiffly as I walked ahead. I pushed into my apartment as she followed. I shut the door and she put down her coffee. My jaw ticked with a bit more anger that I was staring at her and that I could see her in my line of vision, but all those other emotions trampled them.

"Like I was saying on the court, anger was the first reaction but after that, I was shocked. I was scared. I was upset with myself because I didn't see that you were going through something else. Yet, what hurt the most Gabi is that you didn't trust me to come to you with that information? Did you think I wouldn't understand? That I wouldn't be there for you? That…that fucking hurt the most. I thought through the two plus years we have been together I had earned at least that. That I had earned your trust and the thought that I just might understand what was going through your head." Tears were running down her face as she stared at me. Those brown eyes were so lost and so far away from the girl, I fell in love with.

My voice was gritty and raw as I was battling my own tears, "I fucking love you, Gabi. So, fucking much. It hurts me to breathe sometimes because I love you. I love you at all hours of the day. At all different situations. We made our relationship work for two years of both of us playing basketball. The constant travel, homework, MCATs, basketball, training, working out. We made all of that fucking work because we communicated. We found the times to be together but the moment something big happens. The moment something scary happens you couldn't even come to me. Do you know how that fucking feels?"

She shook her head, her face filling with pain, because she knew that I went to her with everything. She knew I was constantly communicating and talking with her. "I was so scared, Troy." She whispered, and I laughed, and I nodded, "I bet you fucking were. I would have been scared but I would have been there for you. I would have helped you." I told her, and she bit down on her lip, "I didn't want to have a baby right then Troy!" her words flew towards me and I shrugged, "Okay? I would have been there for you no matter what you decided Gabi! I would have been there if you wanted to do adoption. I would have been there if you wanted to have the baby. I would have been there with you while you had the abortion. I didn't give a flying fuck about that Gabi. I only fucking care about you! When will you fucking understand that?" She shook her head as if she didn't think any of the words that I said were true. She always had a hard time believing I would put her first, but I would. Always. "No, you wouldn't have thought that." She whispered, and I nodded as she struggled with her emotions and to hold everything together, "I would have."

My breathing was ragged, and I was crying now looking at her. Her sobs were loud, and it was taking everything in me to not walk across this room and bury her into my arms. To protect her from my words. To protect her from the future and the past. To just fucking keep her safe because that was all I ever wanted to do. I wanted to keep her safe. I wanted to love her. "You don't understand why…" she started to talk but I shook my head. "No, I figured it out before I went to sleep that night Gabi and I was drunk off my ass when I did! You were getting ready to start medical school. You had one more year of eligibility for basketball and you are out of red-shirt years and we both know that you couldn't do year two of medical school with basketball. This is your last year. You and I weren't married, and I just took a job. We have zero money and you have wants and dreams. I got it. I understand," I stressed to her and I saw her face pale and her whole-body slump in defeat. Nailed it. This didn't take long for either of us to figure out, but my mind did it easily. I knew her. Inside and out.

I ran my fingers through my hair and then down my jaw as I let out a large breath of air, "I understand that it was a hard spot to be in. I understand that you were scared. I understand the choices you made. I fucking understand Gabi. What I don't understand is why you didn't think for one second that I would have understand any of that? I never want you to throw your dreams and love away. You worked so fucking hard to get back onto the basketball team. We made a mistake. We took all nthe ecessary precautions, but a mistake was made. I would have listened to you, Gabi."

She turned around and went to sit on my couch. Her painful tears were still happening, and I went to lean against the wall. Gabi chewed on her lower lip and she shook her head, "You can't honestly say you wouldn't have wanted that baby if I told you I was pregnant." She whispered, and I had considered this. It crossed my mind if she had told me she was pregnant, I would have been happy. But if she would have followed up quickly with what she wanted to do and why? I would have understood in a heartbeat. Maybe, I would have had a little sadness, but I understand. This is her life that would be messed with. "Maybe I would have but I would have also listened to you. I would have saw your side of things and I would have supported you. Just like when I was looking at jobs, it was always you first. I constantly am going to put your needs above anybody else's because I love you." Her face was buried in her hands and she was wiping away tears. Her hands were shaking, and she pressed the palms of her hands into her eyes. It broke my fucking heart.

"Let me ask you a question," I proposed, and I walked closer to her. I sat on the opposite couch and leaned my elbows on my knees as I wanted her to look at me. I reached forward, and my fingers found her chin and I tilted it up, so those brown eyes were looking right at me. Her brown eyes that were normally full of life, looked dead and beat. There was nothing there and that caught me completely off guard. Yet, I focused on the task at hand. "If you were graduating with a normal degree, say teaching, and we were both getting jobs. You didn't have any basketball left to play, would you still have gone and got an abortion?" I asked her quietly praying I actually knew her answer. Because if she said a different answer, this would turn into an ugly conversation.

"Absolutely not." She confirmed quickly, enough to listen to my question and know exactly what her answer already was. "The guilt eats me alive every single day knowing what I did to our child. That I did that and that I was selfish. That I put my own needs before it but I just…" That one sentence broke my heart because she had been carrying that around for over six months. Yet, it brought a surge of anger with it. I dropped my head into my hands. I wanted to be there for her but at the same time, she didn't allow me to be there for her. She refused my presence.

"Troy, I am so sorry. I should have done everything different, but it's done now, and I know there is no fixing this. I fucking messed up. You took a job so that you could be close to me and I bet you are regretting that right about now." I shook my head in my hands and I lifted it up to look at her. "That thought hasn't crossed my mind once." I told her honestly and she seemed surprised by that answer. Her brown eyes wide and she pulled on her hair gently. "I'm not giving up on this. Yes, we have plenty of shit work through. Yes, we have plenty to still fucking talk about. But you are still mine. You have always been mine and I am not going to let this get in the way of it. I'm fucking upset because you lied to me. You thought you knew what I would think and yet…you had zero clue."

"You say that now."

"No, Gabi," the tone of my voice was angry now and her eyes snapped to mine, I never got angry with her. "I would have not made a different decision then. When you told me, I was only mad that you didn't tell me. I was only mad that you hid it from me. I was only mad because you didn't let me be there for you when I would have. I would have been there every single step of the way and you wouldn't have to do that alone. That was why I was angry. It wasn't the right time for us and we both would have known that then. I would have never asked you to give up your senior year of basketball. I would have never asked you to not go to medical school to have my baby. We are stupidly young still. We have time."

She bit down on her lip until it drew blood while tilting her head forward. Her forehead almost meeting mine. "I'm just…I wasn't sure how in the hell we got into this situation. I really thought you would have never understood. That you would have begged me to keep it." She shook her head back and forth, "Gabi, I feel like you don't understand how much I know you. Deep down, I'm not ready for a kid. I want to get settled into my career. I want to make sure I am able to get further along and that I can provide for a kid. If you had decided to keep it, I would have been just as happy and would have worked harder."

Standing up, I began to pace the room. "I was so scared, Troy."

"I know you were scared. I would have been too, and I just wish that you would have told me. I would have held your hand and been there for you. I would have never let you do that alone because I cannot imagine how much you were hurting. How much you needed somebody to be there. I would have done everything for you. I would have not questioned you once." I barked with a bit louder voice than I wanted, and her body tensed up. She tried to calm her breathing and relax but she was struggling. I only wanted to fucking hold her close to me, but I kept my distance for now. The moment I wrapped her into my arms this thing was over. I was going to be gone. "You do not get to make choices for me. You do not get to know what I think. If you would have just come to me." My voice was raw, and my eyes stared at her. I blinked once, and I knew I shouldn't share this, but I was going to anyways.

"You know, I had a ring picked out." Her head snapped up to mine and her face was in disbelief. Her head was going back and forth as if my words weren't true to what she was hearing. "No," she whispered, "No, no," she continued to whisper and shake her head faster. I only nodded my head, "Yes, I had a ring picked out. I was getting ready to go pick it up and get it. I was ready to buy it and I was going to propose to you after graduation when we were supposed to go to Seaside for a week. I was going to kayak with you to our favorite spot that we spent every summer since we started going. I was going to propose to you because I love you. Because I can only imagine sharing my life with you. Because I thought we shared everything with each other." She continued to shake her head more and more as she cried. Her hands pulling at her hair and then her hands covered her face again as if she didn't want to hear any of this.

"Then we started fighting about stupid shit, like my damn job. I backed off because something was wrong, and you didn't want to go to Seaside with me. I was completely and utterly disappointed. Now, I find out about this six months later and…how do I ever know if you'll come to me when big things happen that scare you? What will prevent you from keeping shit from me? If you're willing to keep that from me for six fucking months?" I breathed, and my eyes looked at her. Her brown eyes held mine and I looked into them, deeply. Trying to find all of the answers deep within her.

"I'm so sorry that you went through that alone, but I wish you would have given me the chance. To have at least 10% of faith in me that I would choose you. That I would listen to you." I whispered, and she broke down again to the point that I couldn't not go over to her again. I loved her, I could only resist so long. I wrapped her into my arms and eased her onto my lap. My hands running down her body as my body hummed with electricity and a sense of calmness waved over me. "I just only ever want you to talk to me, Gabi. I want to be important to you. I want you to share those things with me. The good, the bad, the ugly, the scary. I want it all."

She rested her head on my shoulder and I just let her calm down. Her whole body shaking against me and I knew that she had done enough to her own conscious that I didn't have to be mad. She was mad at herself. She was guilty. She was most likely angry with herself. I didn't want any of that. She slowly began to calm down to the point that she was able to breath. A few hiccups echoed through my living room. "The moment I found out, I was terrified. It wasn't like I didn't want to have your baby, but it just wasn't the right time. I figured if I just had it done and then moved on it wouldn't be a big deal but…the moment it was done. I felt guilty."

Her hands wiped away the new tears that escaped, "Then you approached me, and you were so excited because you had gotten the job in Durham. I was angry because I had just done something to you and you didn't even know. So, I lashed out at the news. We never talked about Durham and it made sense for me to be angry about it. Maybe, it wasn't something to actually be angry about, but it was better than just telling you. In the moment." She clarified, and I inhaled listening to her talk. My breathing having trouble regulating.

"And I kept it up because I felt guiltier and guiltier. I wish you would have taken that job in Seattle because you do not deserve me, Troy. You deserve somebody so much better than me. I lied to you. I hurt you. I disappointed you and that hurts. It hurts to know that I disappointed you. That hurts more than anything else." My forehead rested into her hair as she continued to talk, and I just let her. She was finally talking to me and I wasn't going to stop her. "If you would have just left and we would have broken up. It would have been easier, but you kept fighting. You dug your damn heels in and you weren't going to go away. So, I told you. Yet, here we are. You are still here, and I don't fucking deserve you, Troy."

I went to say something, but she shook her head, "No. Don't say anything. You have never hidden a damn thing from me. You constantly told me about all the girls who contacted you. You constantly were there for me. You told me about all the jobs you were considering. You told me everything. You were always good to me. You never forgot anything. You met my needs and I can't even give you one damn moment to think for yourself. I do not deserve you. I never will. I will never forgive myself either for doing any of this because," she stopped and turned to face me. She was desperately trying to hold my attention. Yet, she had all of my attention.

"Because you, Troy Bolton, are my one true love. You are the man I will forever love and forever hate myself for losing." I finally shook my head, my eyebrows wrinkling due to her comment as I was confused. "What the fuck are you talking about?" I whispered so softly that she would be the only person possible to hear those words from my mouth, and those brown eyes held mine. A sense of surprise rising in them with a strong sense of curiosity. "You haven't lost me." A sob crumbled from her mouth and my lips pressed to her forehead. "Yes, you made mistakes. Yes, you lied to me for months. Yes, we have a lot of fucking work to do on our relationship, but we aren't over. I'm not breaking up with you over this." My arms pulled her in tightly to my body and she pressed her snotty nose into my neck. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry Troy."

My lips pressed to her temple and I didn't say anything for a few minutes. Yes, we had a lot to do but she was also the love of my life and if I let her go because of this? I would hate myself. Yes, I'm glad I didn't propose when I had planned on it because obviously, we still had things we needed to work on. We had things that we needed to do. It was going to be a long road, but it was going to be a road that I needed to go down. She was the light to my life and fighting with her for the last six months had been awful.

I needed her.

"I have so many more questions," I whispered to her, "But I think we both need to take a step back tonight and breathe. I'm not going anywhere, and I am, and I always will be here for you. That will never change. You are still mine. You are my girlfriend. My B. My everything. I just think I need time to wrap all of this up in my head. I need to think about everything that was said and I just…I want to make sure my follow-up questions are worth asking." I told her, and she only nodded her head. The pain and the absence of my girl. "You had every single reason of why I did it, right." She told me, and I rubbed her arm as I nodded, "I know, I know you Gabi."

"I wish I would have given you a chance because I did need you." My eyes closed, and I almost didn't want to hear that. I didn't want to hear that she wanted me there, but she was too stubborn to allow me to be there for her. "It was never easy. I wanted to tell you a thousand times. I just…dug my hole and I didn't want to pull myself out of it." My lips pressed into the top of her head and I just held her against me.

"I have one rule before you walk out of this apartment tonight." I told her, she looked at me and I held her face gently with my fingers. My thumb stroked her skin and she leaned into my touch. "You have to talk to me. About everything. You can't hide anything from me because I need you to tell me everything. Every little detail and if you have a bad day or if you feel guilty one day, talk to me. I just…I just need you to talk to me."

She nodded her head, "I will. I promise." I leaned my forehead against hers and I closed my eyes. "I need you to keep that promise, Gabs. I'm not scared of listening to your feelings. I am not scared of you having opinions. I am not scared of you being such a strong woman. What I am scared of is you constantly lying to me now. Will I ever truly understand if you are telling the truth or not?" Gabi bit down on her lip again and she just nodded sadly, "I wish I didn't do this." She whispered, "Mostly, because that's the only thing I have ever lied about to you. The only thing I ever kept from you and I know it's huge and awful but…I hate that I lost your trust."

I sighed heavily myself, "I hate it, too."


Well, well…this probably went a bit better than you guys thought. I hope you loved it! I love the response to the first chapter. I loved starting off with such chaos and that nothing is the same as it was before type of situation. I know some of you are confused on how Gabi's character could ever do that and how Troy wouldn't notice this type of thing and I get it. This is completely out of character for Gabi…which is the point. This is something she would never do but it's something she believed she had to do. I hope that was clarified a little bit in this chapter! I love listening to your thoughts about it all!

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Next Update: March 10th