A/N: I decided I would add the second chapter tonight and the third tomorrow because I will be going out of town Thursday (tomorrow) night and won't be back until Saturday morning. I will probably take my computer with me so I can work on the story in the car so I should have the fourth chapter up by Saturday afternoon. Please be patient with me as this is my first story. I have discovered I do love getting reviews so please keep them coming. Thank you for the reviews, fav adds and alerts. I'll keep this gping until I run out of ideas. Thank you!!!

(always EPOV)

"Would everyone please come sit with me at the table, I would like to call a family meeting."

Slowly my family assembled in the dining room. I could hear paws thudding on the ground in the woods coming nearer.

"Ugh, why is the dog coming if this is a family meeting?" Rosalie wined. She sounded angry too. Good. I was still angry at her for what she did, well what she let Bella do. I'm fairly sure Alice was in on it too cause there is no way it would have gotten past her visions. Alcohol? Who woulda thunk?

"Because Bella considers him family, or her pet, whichever. Anyway this is about Bella so he needs to be here."

Carlisle was looking at me suspiciously. "What about Bella? Have you finally decided to let her join us?" he asked.

"Over my dead body!" Jacob screamed as he entered the house.

Rosalie shot him one of her classic "die dog die" looks and replied, "That can definitely be arranged, mongrel".

Jacob smiled, "Oh hey if it isn't 'Miss Vamp America'? Did you hear about the three blondes that went to Disneyland?"

Rosalie's evil glare intensified.

"No?" Jacob's smile dropped for a second.

I could hear Alice giggling already, this was gonna be a good one.

"Well" Jacob continued, his smile growing wide again, "The sign said 'Disneyland Left' so they went home"

"That doesn't even make sense, beast" Rosalie said looking slightly confused.

The whole family was laughing silently waiting for Rose to get it. Nothing happened. Then Alice fell on the floor and started laughing so hard I thought she might have a heart attack, well if she had a heart.

"Oh God," she panted, " It's even better than what I saw!"

Everyone burst out laughing. This was the first one of Jake's jokes that went over her head.

"Honey, it was a sign on the freeway directing them which way to go" Emmett whispered into her ear trying not to let the rest of us hear.

"Oh" was all she could say. She shot us all nasty looks one by one until we stopped laughing. I swear if looks could kill there would only be one Cullen left and one less werewolf in this world.

"Okay" I announced. "Back to business. Thank you all for coming.

"As I said before this is about Bella. We, for the most part" looking as Rosalie, "have grown very accustomed to having Bella around and her knowing what we are has given us a freedom we have never experienced. Well I feel some of us are a little too free with her ." I glanced around the room to make sure I had everyone's attention and I did, so I continued.

"I have come up with some rules for us when it comes to Bella and I am going to go over them with you all.

"Rule number one is the most obvious but most important. We DO NOT bite Bella for any reason. I will personally murder…"

Esme interrupted, "Edward you know we would never hurt Bella."

I felt a wave of calm pass through me. Thank you Jasper.

"Yes I know but I wanted to have all my bases covered. Now if I way continue…

"Rule number two is this, we do not lick Bella for any reason, especially not for the purpose of 'taste testing' her." I shot a look at Emmett and growled.

"Aww Bro, I was just messing around . You know I would never hurt the little snack" Emmet interjected.

"Right, which brings me to rule number three. Nobody is to call her nicknames referring to her as food. She is not a 'treat' or a 'snack' or 'dessert' or a 'walking talking uber delicious meal'." I heard Alice laugh and I hissed at her. "Furthermore there is to be no more making her think we are going to have her as a meal. Jasper you pay special attention here, this makes her uncomfortable because she thinks you might actually eat her. We do not lick our lips and make 'mmmmm' noises at her especially when it's been a while since we last hunted."

Snickers from the crowd.

"I only did it once and I swear I thought you were going to rip me apart. Besides she knows I won't hurt her. She knew it was a joke," Jasper said smiling.

"I was going to tear you to pieces. In any case please don't." Another peaceful wave passes through me.

"It is NOT funny to pretend you are me and call Bella and break up with her. It is not funny to call her pretending to be Carlisle and tell her I am dead or missing or with Tanya. It is not funny to prank call Bella with horrible news, therefore rule number four says this is to stop. It is also not funny to pretend you are Bella and call Mike Newton for the purpose of asking him out or to lead him on in any way.

"Rosalie I know you have done this more than once. I understand you have negative feeling towards Bella but for my sanity you have to stop."

"I'm sorry Edward. Emmett dares me to do it."

Emmett, laughing "You should see the looks on their faces when they see each other at school the next day and he…" trails off laughing… "Priceless! You would think Mike wouldn't keep falling for it, what a dumbass!"

Okay so it is kinda funny when he looks all rejected and sulks off but I have trouble not killing him as I hear the things he is thinking before he gets turned down again and again and…