Reflections
Disclaimer: I own nothing but the ideas.
This is a three part story - will get finial part up over the weekend.
. . . . .
Emily woke up early and went downstairs to make a pot of coffee. She took a large cup outside and leant against the wall. The air was cool, she was only in her pyjamas, but it was worth it for the remains of the beautiful sunrise. It was moments like this that Emily realised how she had lived in the fast lane for so long. She had rarely got a moment to breath in her career choices. She had always been on the move – 'Go-bag' at the ready. But now she could enjoy the simplest things.
Hugging her coffee for warmth, she thought about the day ahead. When Clyde had contacted her and asked her to brief Michelle about Doyle she had jumped at the chance. Yet now she was not so sure. Emily had realised she had agreed out of the wish for some company. Not to share her extensive knowledge of the man who tried to kill her, and had, for all intents and purposes, succeeded.
Doyle was the last person she wanted to talk about. Without realising what she was doing she started to trace the shape of the brand on her chest, she could feel the slight bump of it through her cotton pyjama vest top. Every day he was there, with her, mocking her. He had won. Emily battled daily to keep him out of her head, but she was losing the battle.
Watching the sky lose its pinkish tinge as the sun rose higher, Emily took inspiration in the new day. Michelle was an opportunity, a chance to regain everything Doyle had taken away. She had to grab this chance and make the most of it, or spent her life hiding.
. . . . .
Michelle knocked tentatively on Emily's door, as she did so, she looked around her surroundings. She had taken every precaution not to be followed, but you could never be too careful.
Michelle heard the sound of the lock moving. Emily opened the door a crack, recognising Michelle she opened it wider and welcomed her in, looking around before she shut the door and locked it. She could never be too careful. If Doyle got a hint she was alive he would hunt her down and finish what he started.
Emily led Michelle through to her open plan kitchen dinner. She offered a coffee, which was accepted.
"Shall we take these outside?" Emily asked.
She liked being outside, it was like being free, over the months she had become increasingly claustrophobic. Michelle nodded in agreement.
As they sat and took in the view neither knew how to start the conversation.
"What has Clyde told you?" Michelle finally asked.
"That they have a plan to draw Doyle out, to finish him," Emily's tone was bitter.
"Did they tell you how?"
Emily shrugged, to be honest she didn't care, as long as he was dead, she could live again. At the time she hadn't asked Clyde for details – she knew how it worked; you were only ever told what you needed to know. However, now, sitting opposite the young woman obviously charged with luring Doyle out, she wanted to know what was expected of her.
"Do you know much about your assignment?" Emily asked cautiously.
"I have read all the records; I know what I'm supposed to do. Doyle isn't my first task," Michelle paused "I probably shouldn't tell you but I am to assassinate him. They have obviously picked me because of my resemblance to you. Clyde is hoping it with throw him enough to let me get close. Make him think he's seen a ghost and then . . ."
Emily nodded slowly, Clyde didn't change, he played hard and fast, he hated waiting. Long term assignments were always Sean's responsibility. She wondered who would balance Clyde now that Sean was dead.
"So, what do you want from me? You said yourself that you have read the files."
"I need your personal opinion. You have met him, you can tell me things that are not down on paper," Michelle's head dropped, she couldn't meet Emily's eye, "I can't imagine how hard this must be for you but I need to protect myself. This is probably the biggest risk I have taken so far."
Emily started to pick up on her nervousness, she was different to the confident young woman she had met for the first time the night before. She sighed. Emily had to help Michelle; it was her responsibility to make her as ready as possible for facing him.
"Where should I start? As you know he was the leader of a breakaway faction of the IRA. His code name was 'Valhalla'. He came to our attention once he left the Provisional IRA and formed the breakaway cell," Emily knew she was repeating what Michelle already knew but somehow it helped to calm her.
Michelle nodded politely, letting Emily take her time – she was in no rush.
"He became an increasingly dangerous person; his actions were controlled but unpredictable. He planned meticulously, but was always motivated by a deep seated anger. After he was arrested Doyle was imprisoned at Camp 22, a North Korean political prison, for seven years, none of us knew this at the time. It's a known hellhole, but it's not our place to ask questions. Once the team has done their bit, we walk away. I have no doubt that he suffered in those seven years and this lead to him swearing revenge against those who destroyed his life," Emily paused for a breath.
"In addition to his imprisonment I took away what he loved most, his son. I knew nothing of his imprisonment or escape until Sean told me that Doyle had got out and was off the grid. It was then that we all knew we were in danger. Another coffee?" Emily wanted the distraction.
"No, I'm fine."
"Doyle started with Jeremy; he made it look like a stroke. Doyle tends to use guns or poison, which is unusual for a man, statistically women are more likely to use poison to murder," Emily smiled, thinking that Reid would be able to give the exact statistic. "We now know that he then used the alias 'Chuck Murray' to enter the US undetected. The name came from his bloody dog. He loved that dog."
"Isn't that unusual for a psychopath?"
"It is believed that psychopaths are incapable of love, but Doyle was different. He did love, or at least presented as if he was capable of love. Who knows?" she shrugged.
Shortly after he arrived I started to get phone calls, gifts, the usual signs of someone stalking you. In the end I agreed to meet him."
"You met Doyle? On your own?" Michelle seemed surprised.
Emily nodded.
"That was when he threatened my team, my BAU team," Emily spoke with added venom in her voice; it was obvious to Michelle that this was the point that it became personal, her own stresser.
"This was also the start of his killing spree. He started with the team of handlers he had in North Korea, and their families. This was also when the BAU got invited in. I was sent out to bring in the last member of the team with SSA Morgan," Emily's mind wandered.
Derek Morgan, he had tried so hard to help her, to reach out to her. She knew how hard it was for him to trust people, but he had trusted her and she had thrown it all back at him. Yet even after that he had still come for her, held her, and comforted her. She didn't deserve friends like him.
"We were too late, Doyle and his team fired on us. It was luck that Morgan never got hurt."
Michelle noted that she showed concern for her colleague's safety, not hers.
"One of Doyle's men was injured in the crossfire. Doyle killed him to try and slow the BAU down. It didn't work, they soon had his name. Then the hunt began. Doyle proceeded to kill Tsia and Sean. Then I knew I was next, he had warned me I would wait for my turn, but the only other member of the team still alive was Clyde. So I did the only thing I could. I went looking for Doyle, and I found him or he found me, I'm still not one hundred percent sure how it would be interpreted. I need a coffee."
Emily got up and walked inside. She hadn't really talked to anyone about Doyle since he had held her captive. Yes she'd answered the questions when she came round in hospital but she was so heavily reliant on the meds she couldn't clearly remember what she had said.
Holding onto the work surface, as she waited for the new pot of coffee, she strived to control her emotions. She wasn't going to break down; she had to be able to hold it together. Michelle had come for facts not an emotional breakdown.
Returning outside with a tray with coffee, cream and sugar, Emily tried hard to pour the coffee without shaking.
"While I was his hostage he tortured me," Emily gulped, deciding that was enough detail, she could read the rest; "I told him Declan, his son, was still alive, I know I shouldn't have but I did. Clyde now knows everything, Declan is safe, and we have made sure of that."
"None us know how we'll react in that situation. You should be proud that have survived," Michelle tried to encourage the woman she was starting to admire.
Emily didn't feel pride in her actions, she felt she had failed. She had let everyone down, herself included.
"Doyle is organized, meticulous and very driven. Coming after us he was driven by a need for revenge and would not let anyone stand in his way. That is how he gets what he wants, railroading through anything that gets in his way. He may be off the grid, but he will not be slumming it. Ian liked a somewhat extravagant lifestyle, he wouldn't sacrifice that, he felt he'd earned it. Doyle is serious about what he does and doesn't play games, everything he does has a purpose to him, even if that is not clear to everyone else. He is also highly controlling and very explosive when his plans go wrong. Does that help?"
Michelle nodded, obviously deep in thought. "One last question, you lived with him, knew him personally. What can you tell me about him that is not in the files? What will help me get his attention?"
Emily could see the fear in her eyes. She knew how she was feeling, how it felt just before an assignment.
"He is charming, confident, loving, but it's all an act. Psychopaths do not feel emotions the way we do, but can mimic them, to present a normal front. Do not be fooled by his charisma, he is dangerous. If he suspects you, he will kill you. Trust your instincts and walk away if it's not right. You have nothing to prove. It is better to fail and be alive then try and be dead," Emily paused wondering if her words were falling on deaf ears. "You are an intelligent young woman with a promising future, don't bow to pressure and compromise yourself in anyway."
"Maybe it's time I left," Michelle finally said.
Emily showed her out. Closing the door, she stood there a while, back against the wooden door. She wondered if she had made a difference.
Would it have made a difference to her if someone had spoken to her like that when she was in Interpol? Would she have listened?
